TIME

It’s their party and they’ll skip the convention if they want to

FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS CENTURY, I WILL NOT BE ATTENDING the Republican convention. The reasons for this are complicated, but apparently they have to do with “keeping expenses low” and “drunk the entire time.” Which is too bad, since the only thing on my calendar between July 18 and 21 is my sister’s due date, and she’s already had her baby. It’s her second baby, so I’ll meet Allison Jade Browning at her high school graduation.

THE GOP PICKED

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