ELLE Australia


IF YOU’RE LOOKING at Esther Perel to offer a quick fix for your relationship woes, you won’t get it. In a world where the answer to any question entering our minds (Which moment from childhood sparked my intimacy issues? Does crying to The National mean I should leave my partner?) is expected to be at our fingertips instantly, and we leave uncomfortable conversations on “read”, the beloved couples therapist offers no hard-and-fast rules, instead forcing us to hold up a  mirror and do the work ourselves. As Perel will tell you, “I don’t have answers, as in, ‘This is what you do.’ I do say, ‘This is how I think it works.’”

Yet her pull is powerful. Between Perel’s 2013 TED Talk — on the all-too-familiar topic of waning desire in long-term relationships – and a diatribe on rethinking infidelity which came two years later, her talks have more than 27 million views. Her word, when it comes to our most intimate relationships, is considered gospel

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