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    Some Girl(s): A Play
    Some Girl(s): A Play
    Some Girl(s): A Play
    Ebook112 pages1 hour

    Some Girl(s): A Play

    By Neil LaBute

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    About this ebook

    Your career as a writer is blossoming, your beautiful, young fiancee is waiting to get married and rush off to Cancun by your side—so what is your natural reaction? Well, if you're a man, it's probably to get nervous and start calling up old girlfriends. And so begins a single man's odyssey through four hotel rooms as he flies across the country in search of the perfect woman (that he's already broken up with). Some Girl(s) is the latest work from Neil Labute, American theater's great agent provocateur. In grand LaBute fashion, this by turns outrageously funny and deadly serious portrait of the artist as a young seducer casts a truthful, hilarious light on a typical young American male as he wanders through the heart of darkness that is himself. This edition includes a deleted scene.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMacmillan Publishers
    Release dateJun 27, 2006
    ISBN9781429998284
    Some Girl(s): A Play
    Author

    Neil LaBute

    Neil Labute—an acclaimed playwright, screenwriter, and filmmaker—is the author of plays including The Shape of Things, The Mercy Seat, Fat Pig, and the Tony Award-nominated Reasons to Be Pretty. He has written and directed films including In the Company of Men (starring Aaron Eckhart), The Shape of Things (starring  Paul Rudd and Rachel Weisz), and the 2006 American adaptation of The Wicker Man (starring Nicholas Cage).

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      Book preview

      Some Girl(s) - Neil LaBute

      PREFACE(S)

      I don’t have a lot to say about this play—not because I don’t like it or anything dramatic like that, but simply because I think it sort of speaks for itself. It is what it is and I hope that’s a lot.

      Some Girl(s) sprang from a desire to do something a little different: an entertainment made up of a series of duets that features a hearty number of women’s roles and follows the journey of a modern-day Candide as he stumbles through a landscape familiar to most men—the mess he’s made of his romantic life on his way to manhood. I think it’s a great part for the right man, and I was pretty damn lucky to find that guy(s) in the form of David Schwimmer and Eric McCormack, two fellows who understand comedy better than most of us understand breathing. Their dedication to the part has been and remains an inspiration.

      I’ve always been an ardent admirer of the cinema of Eric Rohmer, that master chronicler of the always charming sexual escapades of his fellow Parisians, and I suppose Some Girl(s) is my attempt to capture a bit of that gentle, wise, funny spirit on the theatrical stage. Rohmer just seems to get it; in film after film he simply allows people to be and then stands back, amused, at the inevitable high jinks that follow. His trilogy of perfect films from the late ’60s—early ’70s (My Night at Maud’s, Claire’s Knee, and Chloe in the Afternoon) remains the benchmark by which stories of love and lust must be measured.

      Translation from one language to another is always a funny thing—one of Rohmer’s films is simply known as Boyfriends and Girlfriends in the United States. After doing a bit of research, however, I learned that the picture was originally titled My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend, which really knocked me out. So simple, so clever; that one title embodies all that is right with European cinema on the whole and Rohmer in particular. We Americans are full of spirit and can-do hustle, without question, but we’re often a ham-fisted bunch; gentle irony is usually the last thing on our fast-paced minds. Rohmer is cool simply by existing and creating what he does; the results seem effortless. Frankly, I admire the shit out of him (an American phrase if ever there was one!). I hope I have cornered even a bit of his wily, bracing, and humane essence within these pages.

      Silence. Darkness.

      Part One: Sam

      A fairly standard hotel room. High-end without being too obvious; a resort chain of some kind. Marriott or one of those. Bed, work space, TV, minibar. Probably a nice chair.

      A man—thirty-three, fully dressed—sits at the desk and plays with the TV remote just as he is finishing a call on the house phone.

      A knock at the door. Another. The man jumps up and crosses to a lamp, carefully arranging the shade. Satisfied, he goes over to the eyehole. Looks out. Takes a breath and opens the latch.

      A woman—same age, let’s call her SAM—enters carrying a Starbucks coffee cup. A silent hello from both of them; after a moment, a tentative hug. They venture into the room—the woman chooses the armchair, the man moves to the bed. They sit.

      SAM … always. It is always the same out there. Bumper-tobumper!

      GUY Yeah. Yes, it is … but you made it. Even with the traffic. Thanks.

      SAM Sure. Of course. (Beat.) Used to be a great city, but then, you know. Boom! (holds up her coffee cup) Thanks to this bunch …

      GUY Exactly! (laughs) Anyway, I’m really happy, because … well, you know.

      SAM Right.

      GUY Because it’s so great to see you. It honestly is …

      SAM Good. I’m glad. (Beat.) Pretty nice here. I’ve never been before.

      GUY Oh. Yeah. (looking around) They’re good … they’ve got ’em all over the place now, so … a chain, I think.

      SAM I mean, why would I, right? Live in town, how often are you gonna stay in a local hotel?

      GUY Right …

      SAM You wouldn’t.

      GUY No, not usually.

      SAM Not for any reason, really. Not even if there was a convention and you were attending or something … you’d still just drive home after. (Beat.) I mean, unless …

      GUY What? Unless what … ?

      SAM You know.

      GUY No, I don’t …

      SAM Yes, you do. You know what I’m saying.

      GUY I don’t, no. Truthfully. What?

      SAM … unless you were seeing someone. Illicitly.

      GUY Oh, right. That.

      SAM Yes. That. (Beat.) So?

      The man nods at this and clears his throat. Jumps up and moves toward the minibar. Points out various items.

      GUY You want anything? I mean, like, a water … ? They’ve got that Evian …

      SAM No. (points to her coffee) Thanks.

      GUY Really?

      SAM Nope. I’m fine.

      GUY I might have some nuts, if that’s all right with you. Cashews.

      SAM Go for it.

      GUY Even though they’re, like, you know, six hundred dollars …

      They share a laugh at this, albeit a small one.

      SAM Then don’t eat them. Right? I mean, that’ll teach ’em.

      GUY Yeah, I guess. But I’m hungry …

      SAM Then you decide. Which was never one of your strong suits …

      He nods at this, remembering. On impulse, he snaps open the cannister and begins to eat.

      GUY Geez … no salt. I’m not big on that.

      SAM No, you always liked the salt … one of your many vices.

      GUY Yep. (Beat.) So … mmm, they’re good, actually. Not too bad this way. (he offers again) You sure?

      SAM Yes. I mean, no. No thanks. (Beat.) Oh, I read the thing you did for that one magazine. Somebody faxed it to me. It was pretty good … clever. Mmm-hmm.

      GUY Yeah? Thanks.

      The man nods and shrugs. She smiles thinly again and exhales. She sets her latte down on an end table.

      SAM … funny how you know so much about women. Now. (laughs) Anyway …

      GUY Yeah, anyway. So, look, I know this is sort of out of the blue and all, and I appreciate how you might be kinda curious about what’s up …

      SAM Well, I am, that’s true. I do want to know that. What is up?

      GUY I just … look, I needed to see you.

      SAM Needed?

      GUY Wanted, actually, but there’s some need in there, too. Yes. Need.

      SAM … and why is that? (Beat.) I only cut to the chase because, you know, my kids are home at three.

      GUY Right, sure. (checks watch) Sorry.

      SAM Don’t be. It’s fine … I like when they come home. I just need to be there, that’s all …

      GUY No, I didn’t mean that … I’m sorry about rambling on about the, like, peanuts and crap. Forgive me.

      SAM

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