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    Trivial Pursuits
    Trivial Pursuits
    Trivial Pursuits
    Ebook118 pages1 hour

    Trivial Pursuits

    By Will Todd

    ()

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    About this ebook

    It ain’t dinner theater.

    “TRIVIAL PURSUITS” is a 3-act, 4-character, 1-set play that asks: “How much can an audience learn about a bunch of guys who are sitting around a table playing a board game?” Because that’s about the only action taking place on stage.

    Unless you count the struggle for Timmy’s soul.

    TIMMY is the timid host of this week’s gathering, which includes buddies TOM, the skirt-chaser; ROD, the logic-monger; and BEAR, the large and shambling animal – four vertices of a box called “maleness”. And at the center of this box is a question, a single thin story thread upon which hangs pages of character revelation like sheets upon a clothesline: Will Timmy grasp his last chance at salvation, saving himself from the hollow fate of his fellows by seeking the not-so-subtly-named Hope?

    Because, mostly, “Trivial Pursuits” is about girls. Or, rather, the attitude of Timmy’s counterparts toward girls. Each (TOM, ROD, BEAR) is given a devoted ACT and a particular P.O.V. to present, all while playing a sometimes metaphorical game. They use a number of time-proven male methods to get their points across. They eat chips. They drink beer. They cheat. They deliver monologues in the john. They draw pictures. In short, they cover every angle of their favorite topic from the juvenile to the sobering to the downright offensive.

    With the final goal? To reach out and touch each member of the audience with those twin masks of the theater, laughter and tears.

    And possibly discomfort.

    So, please: No dining allowed.

    [Note: I'm a screenwriter ("THE WONDER YEARS", "TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES") and this story is presented in its original scripted format.]

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherWill Todd
    Release dateApr 5, 2012
    ISBN9781476362311
    Trivial Pursuits
    Author

    Will Todd

    ALL ABOUT TODD1960: Born.1961-1982: Grew up. Did non-writing stuff.1983-1985: Worked with NASA as Aerospace Engineer. Started writing scripts part-time for no money.1986-1987: Started writing scripts full-time for no money.1988-1990: Wrote for first two seasons of "THE WONDER YEARS". Nominated for Emmy, Humanitas, and Writers Guild Awards. Won Humanitas and Writers Guild. Lost Emmy to pilot of "Murphy Brown" but I'm not bitter anymore especially since show never lived up to its potential.Wrote the first two "TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES" movies. Became rich, but with occasional pangs of guilt.1991-1992: Tried to elevate the quality of films coming out of Holywood by rejecting all script assignments and writing only on spec. I.E., Obscurity and Unemployment.1993-1995: Ran away to Europe for a few months, returned, wrote first play. Ran away to Asia for a few months, returned, directed first short film.1996: Stopped running long enough to get in line to write a feature film version of "I Dream of Jeannie". BLINK! Next.1997-1999: Completed Quest for Seven Continents with travels to Africa, Australia, South America, and Antarctica (whiter even than The Blank Page).2000-2002: Solidified reputation as International Man of Leisure. Blew it by writing a book in here somewhere.2003-2005: Nap.2006-2007: Wrote, produced, and directed a 90-minute compilation of comedy shorts called "42 STORY HOUSE". Sold very nearly that many DVD'S.2008-2009: Pangs of guilt concerning sudden wealth now a distant memory, sought status as "Too Big To Fail". Failed.2010: Attempted to finance an indie movie called "WHY THE SQUIRREL WON'T FRY". Fried.2011:Published first eBook "THE TELLING OF MY MARCHING BAND STORY". Fell.2012: Published some eScreenplays to see if anybody was interested in reading eScreenplays. Seriously, anybody. Hel-loooooooooo...?2013-2014: Started YouTube Channel "Todd Trumpet Videos". Reached "Blockbuster" (LLC) status.2015-2016: Wrote "A CHRISTMAS CODA". Received lavish praise from Dickens Experts. Who - "Bah! Humbug!" - apparently don't impress the General Public.2017: Adapted "A CHRISTMAS CODA" into a stage play. Learned Broadway and Hollywood, despite being on opposite sides of the country, actually share the same Welcome Mat.2018-2019: Achieved Complete World Domination. (Pending)

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      Book preview

      Trivial Pursuits - Will Todd

      TRIVIAL PURSUITS

      A 3-Act Play

      by

      Will Todd

      *************************

      Copyright 2012 Will Todd

      Smashwords Edition

      *************************

      Table of Contents

      Introduction

      Cast

      Timmy

      Tom

      Rod

      Bear

      ACT ONE: TOM

      ACT TWO: ROD

      ACT THREE: BEAR

      All About Todd

      *************************

      PLACE: At a crossroads

      TIME: For a decision

      *************************

      Introduction

      It ain’t dinner theater.

      Trivial Pursuits is a 3-act, 4-character, 1-set play that asks: How much can an audience learn about a bunch of guys who are sitting around a table playing a board game? Because that’s about the only action taking place on stage.

      Unless you count the struggle for Timmy’s soul.

      TIMMY is the timid host of this week’s gathering, which includes buddies TOM, the skirt-chaser; ROD, the logic-monger; and BEAR, the large and shambling animal – four vertices of a box called maleness. And at the center of this box is a question, a single thin story thread upon which hangs pages of character revelation like sheets upon a clothesline: Will Timmy grasp his last chance at salvation, saving himself from the hollow fate of his fellows by seeking the-not-so-subtly-named Hope?

      Because, mostly, Trivial Pursuits is about girls. Or, rather, the attitude of Timmy’s counterparts toward girls. Each (TOM, ROD, BEAR) is given a devoted ACT and a particular P.O.V. to present, all while playing a sometimes metaphorical game. They use a number of time-proven male methods to get their points across. They eat chips. They drink beer. They cheat. They deliver monologues in the john. They draw pictures. In short, they cover every angle of their favorite topic from the juvenile to the sobering to the downright offensive.

      With the final goal? To reach out and touch each member of the audience with those twin masks of the theater, laughter and tears.

      And possibly discomfort.

      So, please: No dining allowed.

      Will Todd

      Spring 2012

      *************************

      Cast

      TIMMY

      NAME: Always Timmy, never Tim. Webster’s: Lacking in courage or self-confidence; lacking boldness or determination.

      BEAR NICKNAME: Timmy D (for now).

      PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Frail. Pale. Thinning male.

      OCCUPATION: Insurance Salesman.

      KEY ADJECTIVE: Timid (see Webster’s).

      HOW HE COVERS FEAR: Silence.

      OTHER: Timmy is the host of this week’s gathering. He is the only character without a devoted Act. He is the only character with a chance...

      TOM

      NAME: Webster’s: The male of various animals.

      BEAR NICKNAME: Face.

      PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Well-dressed. Well-groomed. Well-done.

      OCCUPATION: Sells suits.

      KEY ADJECTIVE: Superficial.

      HOW HE COVERS FEAR: Style.

      OTHER: Learned a long time ago how to get by on looks alone. Just now beginning to catch up to him. Once told: Tom, you’re the oldest teenager I know. Enjoyed the compliment for weeks.

      ROD

      NAME: Webster’s: Stiff; straight; rigid.

      BEAR NICKNAME: Head.

      PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: See NAME.

      OCCUPATION: Computer Programmer.

      KEY ADJECTIVE: Calculating.

      HOW HE COVERS FEAR: Logic.

      OTHER: Doesn’t drink. Doesn’t smoke. Doesn’t fuck. Personality: Believe it or not, still has one. But there’s always that microsecond of evaluation before anything ever comes out of Rod’s mouth.

      BEAR

      NAME: Webster’s: A large, heavy mammal having long, shaggy hair; a surly, uncouth, shambling person.

      BEAR NICKNAME: Bear.

      PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Bear.

      OCCUPATION: Bear. (Just kidding. Stockbroker.)

      KEY ADJECTIVE: Overbearing.

      HOW HE COVERS FEAR: Bluster.

      OTHER: Has given up on a lot in life, leaving an ugly void which he fills with vitriol and spits over those around him. His one redemption: Bear alone correctly perceives the crossroads and wants to help – despite himself.

      *************************

      TRIVIAL PURSUITS

      ACT ONE: TOM

      Timmy's Dwelling. Simple. Minimal. Barren. A table for the game, another for a phone and answering machine, a few places to sit, and empty space. To one side, an easel with a large blank pad of paper. To the other, what looks like a small room. Actually, more like a closet. Actually, it's in DARKNESS right now so we'll find out what it is later.

      Timmy's dwelling. But he looks busy at the moment: While the audience settles in, TIMMY prepares for company by shuttling snacks from a kitchen doorway to the game table. First a chip wave. Then, a dip wave. Then... yet another chip wave. Bags and bowls. TIMMY actually takes time to arrange them on the table. Perhaps the deep-fried pork rinds would be more aesthetically correct near the sour cream and bacon... Ah. Yes. There. Only one thing left to get...

      He drifts over to the phone table and picks up a blue cardboard box, giving it a RATTLE so we can hear the pieces inside. He starts back, but has a second thought, returning to the phone. He stands before it. He studies it. Finally, he puts down the blue cardboard box and picks up the receiver. He defiantly punches three TONES into the keypad and... aborts, replacing the handset and retrieving the blue cardboard box with a SNIFFLE, ferrying it to the game table. Removing the lid, he lifts out a flat square of cardboard that opens four-fold to reveal the familiar, circular playing surface of Trivial Pursuit. TIMMY carefully lays this in the middle of his table, along with a bag of plastic game pieces, and two cardboard boxes full of questions.

      The stage is set.

      TIMMY: Let the games begin.

      On cue, a KNOCK at the door - the once classic, now all too familiar shave and a haircut, clinging to borderline respectability by

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