The Four Genders Handbook

Discovery 1:

What We All Want and

What We All Don't Want

Everyone wants to be married. Only the religiously doctrinaire, the life-long bitter, the obsessively cynical or haters of humanity shun it. It is the one true promise of happiness on earth. It is our one clear chance of love, peace and tranquillity with the most important person we will ever meet. It is the golden chalice of human society's grand ambition. The rich cannot buy it whilst the poor may stumble upon it for free. It is, quite simply, what the world is about; but first, the awful prologue.

Those hit by divorce will tell you it was the worst time of their lives. Nevertheless, those same people will take a rest and then embark on yet another quest for the perfect mate. The very real chance of further ruin does not deter them. It has always been thus.

We are all aware of marriage break-up and relationship break-up. We know from our own experience, our family, personal friends and the celebrity famous that it is painful, destructive and, as I hope to prove, completely avoidable. When we hear of two people we love who have declared their intention to divorce or break up it sends a painful shockwave through us all. It affects our own relationships; in some mysterious way it even affects our community. No one likes it. Everyone would prefer that it did not happen.

In the meantime, single people secretly languish in their homes, walk the city streets and country lanes or sit at restaurant tables for one, both the wealthy and the poor. They all dream of golden days with that one and only idyllic companion.

Every now and then they will get an opportunity to break into that translucent world where loneliness is banished forever. Their aim should be true. Their methods should be more than the random selection of a pretty face, a handsome body, a great salary or a friendly manner. Failure could leave them worse than when they began.

The concept of 'The Four Genders Handbook' is first about finding yourself, then finding your true partner. Marrying the right type of person is a primary way to avoid divorce; understanding that only a small selection of the population contains your perfect mate is a great secret.

Discovery 2:

How We’ve Always

Sought a Marriage Partner

It has not much changed over aeons of time throughout all cultures. When the pleasure and security of the idea of marriage hits a young person they follow the advice that parents, friends and community have always meted out; Find a nice girl, or, Find a nice boy. Although simplistic, it has served the earth well enough since marriage became part of humanity. Deconstruction of that advice reveals what nice actually means. It is, in fact, the ultimate checklist. It is an itemised application for an impossible dream. It is a description of an angel in human form.

For the man the woman will be beautiful with a sexy body. She will be honest with unbounded integrity. She will have a pleasant, compatible sense of humour. She will love him completely, (including his many faults) not want him to change in the least, be the perfect mother and never be grumpy or demanding. They will, of course, agree on everything including religion, politics and the history of the universe.

For the woman the man will be handsome with a sexy body. He will be honest with unbounded integrity. He will have a pleasant, compatible sense of humour. He will love her completely, (including her many faults), not want her to change in the least, be the perfect father and never be grumpy or demanding. They will, of course, agree on everything including religion, politics and the history of the universe.

Well, you get the picture. We have all dreamed such dreams. Indeed, in glimpses across a party floor, on a train, in the office or on the silver screen we have spotted such fabulous creatures and wondered if the dream might actually prove real. We try, but often reality hits hard during the first conversation, the first week, a short relationship or a short marriage. We find that the dream is a mirage which dissolves and fades. Our creature has feet, and many other parts, made of clay. Some stalwart people accept this disintegrating illusion as part of life; they believe they are realists; it is one of the truths of time and marriage; love never lasts. Well, you've heard it all before.

After several reality wake-ups many searchers will gladly settle for a score of six or so checks in their personal checklist of perhaps ten ideal requirements. That's a pretty good deal, they say. The four or so crosses are seen as the inevitable marital crosses to bear. They believe that whatever good comes out of a marriage there is a price to pay. With sunshine come clouds. After day comes night, comes day, perhaps. However, most hopeful, long-time searchers will still look for the perfect being, now of mythological proportions.

The more sinister aspect to this age-old selection process is the assessment of the selector's own self. They too have a checklist for themselves. It is the checklist that is on offer to the world. It is how that person believes the world perceives them to be. For most humble searchers there will be more crosses than checks. Indeed for those people suffering from a marked lack of self-esteem that checklist might be all crosses. For the naïve or arrogant a list full of checks would present a similar problem; the score of the searcher is unequal to that of the person being sought. Most people inwardly hide this terrible secret; they are searching for someone vastly superior to their perception of their own worth.

Statistics show that for most people, it doesn't work. Excitement gives way to disappointment; euphoria gives way to cold day; rosy honeymoon becomes grey marriage. This method of expectation, search and resolution generally gives three results; divorce, painful mediocrity or, for a very small number of people smiled upon by good fortune, a happy marriage. But the tragedy is that for a big majority of people, the search preceded disaster.

Discovery 3:

Bad Marriages

When individuals analyse the reason for their marriage or long-term relationship breakdown, they will seldom blame themselves. This is an age-old defence mechanism designed to protect the self. The overriding argument for both parties is that the other side did something bad to scupper the marriage. They talk as if the marriage certificate was a contract of guaranteed happiness in perpetuity. It was the other partner who broke the contract. Both partners feel betrayed by the other who robbed them of the promised peace and enjoyment. Indignant friends and family offer agreeable support and make things worse.

Broadly speaking there are three types of bad marriage that often lead to divorce, if not, great unhappiness. You may be familiar with one or two, or heaven help you, all three.

Mismatched Partnership:

The Competition Marriage

In this marriage there is always something going on. Sometimes they laugh and co-operate together but they actually live in a state of perpetual competition. Scoring points is the only game in town. Nothing is sweeter than winning the latest argument. There is a lot of noise studded with grumpy silences. Sex is often very good, but with both parties there is a sense of something missing. In the best of times they will both try to establish rules and boundaries for each other. This arrangement might last for a short time, sometimes only minutes.

When alone, both parties feel they have failed the other in some way. They see the answer in change from the other party. This idea becomes a mantra for both people. Everything would be so right if only the other would change. Happiness seems just beyond their grasp. Friends and family live in hope that this intense engagement will subside and give way to harmony. Friends and family equate this intensity with frustrated inner love waiting to blossom, or something. Sometimes they take sides; first one then the other. This situation can carry on for years. Curiously, nothing seems to be done around the house. Chores are postponed; improvements are promised but never executed; boxes are stacked ready for some project both have forgot.

After taking stock of their marital experience, plus added advice from friends and family, they decide that the effort and time they have invested in their lives is something that must pay back profit; there must be a dividend. So they launch into another bout of arguments, attacks, counter attacks and one-sided peace deals.

Infidelity often takes place, prompted not by love but by a subconscious desire to defeat the other person. It is done to prove that they can have a relationship with no problems therefore condemning the other person as the trouble-causer. Inevitably they will return to the cockpit of conflict to once again attempt mastery over the other.

Their children grow up with the continual noise of competition in their ears. They grow used to the notion that men and women are competitors and that blissful love is an illusion propagated by cheap pop songs. They, in turn, will be attracted to relationships that have similar dynamics; to fight the fight of their parents' lifelong, never-ending battle.

If this marriage reaches old age the fighting becomes more ritualistic, gradually merging into grumpiness and individual loneliness. Finally, an inevitable co-dependency envelops the couple convincing them that at last they have found some peace which they grossly mistake for a failure of energy, surrender and apathy.

Mismatched Partnership:

The Quiet Marriage

In this marriage nothing much happens. After the flush of the marriage day and honeymoon, indecision inhabits the household. Routines such as family visits and vacations are prompted more by former habits augmented with strong suggestions from friends and immediate family. Any spontaneous suggestions of adventures become less and less adventurous until doing the weekly shop becomes a quietly stressful event.

Sexual activity spirals down to regular times then to nothing at all. Conversation is centred on proposed plans for the future but nothing is ever decided. In the household they spend hours alone occasionally interacting with terse enquiries about the other. Real togetherness seems to elude them, each secretly shunning the other's attempted closeness. To kick-start the marriage they will arrange treats, buy presents and suggest outings. The result of such enterprise at first shows promise but proves in the end to be the same. There is no change.

Each may find some solace in friends, either at work or in pubs, clubs or bars. Hobbies may consume them for a while. The internet may offer some excitement but real-life adventure seems far out of reach. Arguments sometimes flare up but this is usually due to tiredness or external pressures of work or family.

To friends and family they appear an enigma. They are a quiet couple seemingly at peace with themselves and the world around them. Separation would be a seismic shock to the whole supportive group. It would be something hardly believed. It would be a mystery. The search would be on for the betrayer but the criminal is never found.

They might have affairs. This may be due to the ease at which the affair could be entered or simply due to mounting desperation. They will return to the marriage home convinced that they love their partner but be almost unaware that they have no respect for them whatsoever.

This is a point of quite serious danger. Two people living together are very conscious of the great deal of time they have spent genuinely trying to make a good life for each other. There could be spats of anger started by an innocuous incident. If the anger continues one partner could get violent. This is anger caused by frustration and hopelessness. There may be apologies but they never stick because the root problem remains.

If, as parents, they can avoid anger and violence their children grow up in a world of quiet tension. Subtle looks and mysterious posturing would be the language learned. That language will be the vocabulary they too will employ for their relationships. They may find it difficult to communicate with their partners on certain emotional levels, let alone sexual matters.

When this marriage enters old age they may become closer friends finally giving up all notions that life ought to be exciting. Co-dependency becomes ever more marked, and with it, closeness tinged with ever present insecurity.

Mismatched Partnership:

The Rescue Marriage

Two people come together as a result of having bad experiences in the past such as abuse, failed marriages or other harmful relationships. They meet in a nervous, tender state barely able to communicate. Very slowly they realise that in their negative pasts they have much in common. This forms the basis of their relationship. The credo of their proposed relationship is the avoidance of any trace of the former. If both parties prove pleasant and free from any form of bad behaviour, an alliance forms. They allow themselves sexuality as a reward for finding someone safe. Their eventual marriage takes place underpinned with overwhelming gratitude expressed by both partners. They were rescued from the guilt and depression caused by former partners.

Friends and family from both sides declare this union a godsend. They remember the couples' previous states of mind and do anything to help and encourage this blessed rescue. But some of the opposing friends and family eye the other partner with suspicion thinking that former problems might return. This can cause tension between the couple.

The great, ironic danger with this relationship is that when one partner is healed of former painful shadows they may look at their new marital companion in a very different light. The pretence of love may suddenly dissolve away. This is because the healed person is now very different from the damaged, anxious, hurt person they were when they first met. The very thing that healed them is the very thing that will destroy their marriage. It is tragic for the partner whose healing lags behind, but the outcome is inevitable.

However, it may be good fortune or genuine attraction that brought these two together. The marriage might well be happy if they happened to choose the right partner types and healed in the same time period.

But if this mismatched rescue marriage lasts long enough for children to experience they will very often be confused about their parents' motives in daily life. Their parents often express irritation with each other, sometimes they are relaxed and sometimes they pursue activities alone. Frustrations may be expressed in bitter terms but for the most part the children are told there is nothing wrong. The children may absorb the idea that relationships are strange and randomly constructed things not to be trusted. Their parents never declare their marriage to be any one particular thing.

If this marriage gets to old age much of their pre-marriage story becomes blurred with what came after. In most ways both partners have healed their former wounds and now settle into a friendship which benefits both. Neither can exactly blame the other partner for the tracts of loneliness both have suffered, so they give up and enjoy the friendship for what it is.

Matched Partnership:

The Nearly Marriage

For much of the time this couple is happy. For this reason it is likely to prosper in the long term. However, it is punctuated by some pretty fearsome quarrels with occasional threats of ending the relationship, but they both suspect such threats are empty. Eventually they accept this ragged pattern and become good friends and good lovers.

Whilst they admire each other in many ways they are both aware of some distant potential in the other that never quite materialises. Why this is, or what it is, is never revealed. The mystery becomes ever deeper. They convince themselves that life is simply like their marriage; mostly good with periods of unaccountable blackness.

They believe their friends' relationships to be pretty much like their own unless they openly fail. Their friends make light of their bad moments declaring them to be part of normal marriage and normal life. However, some family members secretly doubt the veracity of their relationship because occasionally very bitter blow-ups are reported. At the same time they doubt a break-up because they believe that they are fundamentally compatible.

It is this couple's great conundrum. They love each other very much but cannot quite maintain a smooth passage of harmony for which they both long. Communication sometimes seems stiff and reticent. They hate the dark arguments but find it difficult to manoeuvre out of them. They don't want either party to change because they love each other for what they are. The problem is they cannot find a way to avoid conflict. In times of such bleakness one or the other may consider an affair as a means of relief, but such thoughts evaporate when they come back to each other as friends and lovers. If, however, an affair is entered into it results in such a breach of trust that the relationship is unlikely to recover. The two people would feel the pain for many years ahead.

Their children are not much bothered by the occasional conflicts because they instinctively know that nothing terminal is likely to happen. In any case, for most of the time their parents are happy being together. However, it does create the message in the children's minds that unresolved conflict is a natural part of marriage. Occasionally they will take sides with one of the parents, often in silence.

Old age alters the pattern of this relationship very little. The style appears to be more grumpy than angry but clouds soon pass and for the most part become inseparable companions. But still, even then, their happiness is tinged with the age-old sadness that they could have been so much more to each other in some far off mysterious way.

But now a glimpse of the holy grail of relationships; the golden age of togetherness; what we all wanted at 17; the one true slice of heaven on earth. The truth is that happy marriages do indeed exist. Most are plain lucky. Some are carefully entered into. But they all share a single, precious secret that could change the world.

Matched Partnership:

The Happy Marriage

A happy marriage is full of surprises. It is always alive and always changing. Sometimes it seems chaotic; other times beautifully designed. There is plenty of laughing. Each can make the other laugh out loud. This is due to the conflation of both senses of humour. They love what they see in the other. They find it easy, free and pleasurable to make each other laugh.

They will always be making plans, and so long as budget and reason allow, they always materialise. They are constantly amazed at how life and living has changed since they were married. They didn't necessarily hate their previous life, they simply didn't know what it was like to be with that one person that gave them balance, respect and love.

Friends and family are sometime suspicious of this high energy state, expecting it to somehow run out of fuel. But it never does. The dynamic that this couple have discovered is pure emotional perpetual motion. There are disagreements, even heated arguments, but more and more they discover ways to shorten the time of conflict. During the argumentative phase they both long for the return of their inner, secret world they have so lovingly created.

Careful observers note that the two people are not clones of each other. In fact they adopt very different roles, each taking responsibility for different aspects of their domestic lives. This seems strange, almost contradictory. Sometimes, and usually the same partner, will issue instructions to the other. The instructions are happily followed to the pleasure of both.

Separation for more than a few hours becomes uncomfortable; a day is a major event. To their surprise, sexuality becomes a mutual, adventurous discovery with none of the dark, selfish, earnestness of single life. They are never jealous because it seems absurd that anyone could replace the other in the special world they now inhabit. They have no secrets from each other and go to extraordinary lengths to tease out inner thoughts so the other may understand the smallest new idea entering their consciousness. They are always intensely interested in the other's mind.

Their admiration for each other is complete. Their respect for each other is born of the fascination with each other's differences as much as that which they share. They love each other to succeed professionally and personally without prejudice or jealousy. Success for one is success for both because in many ways each is equally responsible for the other's success. Because they are made of different materials they frequently wonder at this difference and relish the excitement that this variation creates. Friends and family frequently notice a curious politeness, even formality, when they address each other. Other times they lampoon each other with abandoned familiarity that always results in more laughter.

Children in this household are brought up in a free space but with known and accepted boundaries and limitations. Honesty becomes a natural means of communication with little disturbance even during the trying time of teenage. Because of their happy parents they unfortunately tend to believe that arriving at a good adult relationship is easier than at first imagined but the resilient ones soon adjust to reality and become more circumspect in their quest. Because their parents can be so busy with each other they find it relatively easy to let their children go into the world at the right time. Their children consequently find their independent feet just at the right time.

When growing old this couple will treat aging like a challenge and not surrender to preconceptions about what people are supposed to do at certain ages. Because of laughter, good sex and little conflict they are more likely to be healthier and live longer than most other couples. Physical adventures may be scaled down but what they decide to do they do with confidence, style and ease. Now, as in former times, they exude wellbeing and balance that enhances the lives of those around them.

Choose to Succeed

Except for the happy marriage, all of the above can be avoided. All of the above, except for the happy marriage, are the cause of much unhappiness in our world. Very few criminals are happily married. Very few corrupt officials, politicians or industrialists are happily married.

All we need is love, is only partly true. Getting what we actually mean by love takes careful consideration and strategic planning. It requires the embracing of new concepts. We need to see people in a different way.

Discovery 4:

Stumbling Upon the Secret

Ihad reached a point in my life where nothing worked. No partner, no job, no future. I had tried everything, or so I thought. I had let everyone down who believed in me. My extended bachelorhood and twenty or so failed relationships were a mystery. My flippant answer to my bewildered parents and married friends was that, I couldn't find anyone who could put up with me. Actually there was truth in that remark for I knew that something more profound was preventing a real relationship forming.

I had struggled with many relationships both casual and live-in. They had all ended in tears; some mine, some theirs. Yet I still did not want to compromise. I did not want mind numbing mediocrity, nor did I want everlasting conflict. I still believed that a great relationship was still possible. I still believed in illusive love. But clouds still gathered. It was love or nothing. More clouds gathered.

When I was about 45 I felt myself giving up; soon after, I gave up. Meeting women and trying yet again to achieve stability, even spurts of happiness, was more trouble than it was worth. Conflict and accusation inevitably preceded breakup. Sex with a beautiful woman now had a horrific price tag hanging over the four poster bed even if there was perfume in the air on a warm summer's night. I became celibate and withdrawn. I was anxious about the oncoming future; a future that contained failure and emptiness in a random patchwork trailing off into the distant mist of my time to come.

Then by accident, enquiry, and plain desperation I began searching and stumbling and gradually assembled a pattern. Through books, the new-fangled internet and my friends I discovered that some of them were practicing a relationship dynamic which slowly made sense to me. It was most certainly against the modern perception of the right way that a couple should find happiness. The age old idea, still current, that the joining of two good people was the only way to a good marriage was disintegrating before my eyes. The new idea was that two bad people could be made good by a good marriage. This idea spelled hope for a washed-up failure like me. I watched good relationships and saw something in common with them all.

What was striking about this new discovery was that ordinary people were finding extraordinary relationships. One and one did not equal two. One and one equalled a hundred. I felt that all things were possible. It seemed simple but it was not going to be an easy ride; far from it. More pain lay ahead.

However and eventually, one of those virtual, digital, text talking, internet residing women, I married. Don't ask for the story. That's another book. But we made it and we're living it. What we learned made it all possible. What I learned saved my life. It could save yours.

Discovery 5:

The Ancient Dynamic of

Opposite Energies

My learning didn't stop by getting married. It will never stop. Learning begets adventure begets learning. The great lesson I learned was that not only are all people different but that all people should be treated differently. I learned that all people wanted to be treated according to their 'natural energy type'.

When people express that difference and live by that difference then that difference should be respected. Once you declare your difference you should be treated as you want to be treated. Of course, this is not always easy or even possible. In real life it hardly ever happens.

We are all aware of the differences in the people we know. We try to accept difference as long as it does not become anti-social or illegal. Some people prefer jazz others pop music; some like cars others dogs; some like night clubs; others dinner parties. Anyone who says a person is wrong for liking jazz, or cars or nightclubs could be reasonably defined as unreasonable; likewise with people's energy types.

We all know, and remember from our past, that some people were naturally quiet; others loud. Some were confident; others shy. When we look around our current social or work group we see a huge range of behaviour types. Some are forceful and direct; others reserved and thoughtful; others a complex mixture of both.

What I slowly and painfully learned is that underlying all these observable differences is a clear and identifiable predominance of two basic energy types. It seems not to be connected with background, intelligence, race, religious upbringing or any other environmental influence. It is a hard-wired trait. It may even be genetic. I have seen nothing that has disproved this.

I observed more and more clearly a certain instigating behaviour coming from one type of person and a certain facilitating behaviour coming from others. Instigating behaviour starts, prompts, originates and activates. Facilitating behaviour enables, simplifies, helps and accelerates. What became more fascinating was that each of these basic behaviours, or energy types, liked to specialise in that energy type; no one person seemed to emanate both. Finally, the fruit of combining these basic, primal, behavioural energies was the achievement of pleasure for both parties.

I have labelled these different, basic, behavioural energies as 'D-Type' for the instigating energy and 'S-Type' for the facilitating energy. These labels serve well enough as a shorthand for the enormously complex, behavioural energies that all human relationships are composed.

Although the two primary energies are totally different they are extremely attracted to each other. They are made of completely different energy material but it is very important to be aware that they are of exactly equal worth. In fact, each will malfunction without the other. Also, one or both will malfunction if the other is weak.

Each needs the other for movement to take place. They are mutually dependent forces. They were meant to work together. They feed off each other and learn from each other. They each have vital and quite different tasks in the world. When this match does not take place, mismatched marriages and relationships are created as discussed earlier. This is no way for people to live. It is life-wasting and destructive. It can be avoided if we are honest with people we meet and, above all, honest with ourselves.

Discovery 6:

New Energy

It is the fundamental assertion of this book that all people on the planet are either male or female and one of the two energy types. This makes four basic types or Four Genders. Firstly let us deal with each energy type in turn.

Energy Type: The D-Type Instigator

Symbolic Material: Rock

Energy Rhythm: Erratic

The D-Type instigator energy type does not represent tyranny, superiority, bullying, unfairness, violence, aggression or selfishness. 'D-Type instigation' in this sense means a distinctive type of energy. It is neither superior nor inferior to the 'S-Type facilitation' energy.

The D-Type instigator likes to control their environment. They also love personal freedom. They enjoy being the person who decides what to do next. They despise risk because, to them, it is a lack of control. However, they have flashes of insight which usually proves right for any given situation in the relationship. Because of the certainty with which they see this insight they see no risk, therefore they feel free to change their mind whenever they please. They do not like rules imposed on them except the rules that they have created. They feel quite justified in changing those rules whenever it suits them. To them it is change for the better. They watch, decide, intervene, and then watch again.

Their love is expressed by the constant giving of their judgement of the big picture of life; the macro-decisions; the grand plan of their relationship both present and future. They like to alter the course of the relationship sometimes minutely, sometimes dramatically. They dislike the details of life because a detail might have no correlation to the overall picture they like to survey. Details confuse. Their minds are tuned to the great broad strokes of their life-plan. They have a wide radar scan of life. Their life-view is a series of projects that must materialise; a series of obstacles that must be overcome. Life is a number of tasks that deserve decisive attention.

Like rock, the nature of their innate energy is hard, immovable and at times, brittle. Their strength is their consistent being; they cannot change or compromise. With too much stress they will fracture and break.

Their true wisdom is their ability to solve problems by pinpoint focus and to create action. However, this decisive action can only manifest into productive reality when it is related to the S-Type facilitator. When the productive reality is completed and received back by the D-Type facilitator it is the moment that the circle of energy is completed. This is the moment of joy and achievement for both.

Energy Type: The S-Type Facilitator

Symbolic Material: Water

Energy Rhythm: Continuous

The S-Type facilitator energy type does not represent subservience, inferiority, timidity, weakness, naivety, or passivity. 'S-Type facilitation' in this sense means a distinctive type of energy. It is neither superior nor inferior to the 'D-Type instigation' energy.

The S-Type facilitator likes to operate within limitations and boundaries but only those set by the D-Type instigating energy they choose and trust. It is never non-consensual but a necessary and loving choice. Once their world has been defined for them they flourish and bring to that world an ordered harmony that lives and breathes love. Their will to endure hardship in order to nurture and bring harmony to that world is fathomless. They are the masters of detail and order.

They like risk and the thrill of risk. They constantly test the boundaries and limitations of their relationship-world. Without rules and strong boundaries they feel unsafe, anxious and aimless. Their wisdom is of suggestion and balance. Their energy flows like water. Like water, their energy can take any shape around any object. However, water needs boundaries and containment, or else it will drain away.

Their life-view is one of continuous rhythm; nothing ends because, with them, nothing begins. Life is punctuated by events and opportunities; never with beginnings and endings.

Two Sexes and Two Energies = Four Genders

Some people look like their type; others do not. Some look the opposite of their type. Some dress in-type whilst others dress against type. Some give off body language in-type, others do not. What is important is not what they look like but who they are. When you offer yourself up for a relationship it is an absolute fundamental responsibility to know what energy type you are before you approach another person. To get this wrong is the worst kind of relationship irresponsibility and the cause of many serious problems. Looks can be deceiving or looks can be obvious. Assume nothing about anyone when it comes to what energy type they are. They come in all shapes and sizes.

The D-Type instigator energy type comes in male and female varieties. The S-Type facilitator energy type comes in male and female varieties. This might be the first shock. One thing that many religions and cultures propagate is that men are always D-Type instigators and that women are always S-Type facilitators. Whilst it may be true for some men and some women, it most certainly is not true for all men and all women. The four genders dynamic energy concept is the way to love. Religion and culture should show us the way to love. If they fail in that then I believe that love will show religion and culture the way.

It is here that we arrive at the central concept. In our ancient, misunderstood, brutal, beautiful, complex planet there are not two genders but four. This has always been true and always will be true. There are male D-Type instigators, female D-Type instigators, male S-Type facilitators and female S-Type facilitators. Each is of equal worth. Each is equally necessary for any society to operate in a healthy way. Each of the Four Genders must know themselves and