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    The Loathsome Lady
    The Loathsome Lady
    The Loathsome Lady
    Ebook73 pages1 hour

    The Loathsome Lady

    By Lynne Namka

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    About this ebook

    The Loathsome Lady is a romp of a wicked and bawdy fable, the way a much-loved knightly tale should be, told by a wise-cracking storyteller who speaks of the great vexing of love. It all starts with a dire threat to have King Arthur’s head. The grand and gruesome details of this oft-told-down-through-the-ages legend are all here: The Giant’s churlishness and his ready battleaxe, the Good King’s dilemma, the Old Hag’s despicable appearance and her outrageous bargain, Gawain’s chivalry and that most famous question of all: “What Do Women’s Hearts Most Desire?” With these humorous challenges how could anyone ever get to their Happily Ever After?

    Need we say more? Well yes, and in this update of the old Welsh story of enchantment and disenchantment, you just might learn something that might be useful to you about breaking love spells and of the battle between the sexes which has been going on since time immortal but never won.

    Take heed, for if you are a man, our tale just might help you avoid an outbreak of that well-known malady—THE DREADED LUV PAIN!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherLynne Namka
    Release dateOct 13, 2013
    ISBN9781310457937
    The Loathsome Lady
    Author

    Lynne Namka

    Lynne Namka, Ed. D. Is a happy person, Licensed Psychologist in private practice in Tucson and an occasional storyteller. She studied extensively with Virginia Satir and has interest in Transpersonal Psychology, Buddhist Psychology, Jungian Psychotherapy and Energy Psychotherapies. She is a writer who writes from a place of higher consciousness and translates the psychological research into understandable language. She’s put major free content on helping people work with their feelings on her website, Lynne Namka.com on Healthy Relationships, Anger Management, Narcissism and Abandonment issues. Join her on Facebook under her name or Protect Our Families (Domestic Violence), Anger Management and Spirituality and Silly Jokes and Snarky Cartoons.

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      Book preview

      The Loathsome Lady - Lynne Namka

      he

      oathsome

      ady

      The Weddynge of Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnell:

      The Whimsical Version

      (With Commentary from a Cantankerous Teller of Tales)

      Lynne Namka

      ~~~

      Smashwords Edition

      Copyright © 2012 by Lynne Namka. All rights reserved.

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Published by Talk, Trust & Feel Therapeutics

      5398 Golder Ranch Road, Tucson, Arizona 85739

      lnamka158@earthlink.net

      www.AngriesOut.com

      www.tucsonshaman.com

      www.lovetoascend.com

      Also by Lynne Namka

      Self-Help Books

      The Doormat Syndrome

      The Mad Family Gets Their Mads Out

      How to Let Go of Your Mad Baggage

      Avoiding Relapse: Catching Your Inner Con

      A Gathering of Grandmothers: Words of

      Wisdom from Women of Spirit and Power,

      Good Bye Ouchies and Grouchies, Hello Happy Feelings: EFT for Kids of All Ages

      Teaching Emotional Intelligence to Children: Fifty Fun Activities for Families and Therapists

      Parents Fight Parents Make Up: Take Good Care of Yourself

      Your Quick Anger Makeover: Plus Twenty Cutting-Edge Techniques to Release Anger!

      Fiction

      Love as a Fine Species of Madness

      Castalia Ever After

      "We desire of men above alle manner thing to have the

      sovereignty without lesing of alle, bothe highe and lowe."

      Dame Ragnell

      Dedication

      This book is dedicated to my son John Grimes, whose life-long sense of humor has filled my life with light-hearted moments. One of my fond memories is of him age eleven or twelve when he crawled under the house to wire the toilet with a microphone so that he could make comments to those visiting the commode from the long-distance comfort of his own bedroom.

      It is also dedicated to that English physician, Peter Mark Roget, whose hobby was to collect lists of related words. Roget’s Thesaurus (which means treasury) was first published in 1852 listing synonyms and words of a like mind. No one ever thanks Roget nowadays and they certainly should as he has given the world a treasure-trove of words. I and my edging-towards-forgetfulness mind are ever grateful. Besides my dear husband with whom I consult daily, Roget is my go-to guy when a dusting off of my stuck mind is warranted.

      Last but not least, this book is dedicated to that Group of Muses who has been with me since 1980 when they first invaded my mind compelling me to write. Since that mid-life take over, thoughts, ideas and exotic language have been running through my mind nonstop like water through a sieve. Muses, especially ancient ones, are not to be trifled with, having the power to bug you until you do what they want. This current Muse, the one with the biggest funny bone of the bunch, made herself known to me zooming up one inch from my head. She had a large, round face and a gloating, self-satisfied, know-it-all smile almost as if saying, See. See. We can be funny. So if you find my story rather daft, well that’s the state of my mind being hijacked by a Muse who probably was sent by Comedy Central. For you readers who aren’t buying my Muse-taking-over story, George Orwell of 1984 fame said one of the motivations for writing can be SHEER EGOTISM and I can cop to that as well. In speaking of ego, Dante in his Inferno says that storytelling is a way writers try to achieve immortality. I’ll have to go muse over those motivations.

      Table of Contents

      Dedication

      Prologue

      The Loathsome Lady

      Historical Renderings of the Weddynge of Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnell

      About the Author

      Prologue

      The ancient storyteller strides boldly into the campfire light tossing her head commandingly and swishing her skirts for she has a tale to tell. She speaks in a conspiratorial voice:

      Gather around; gather around all ye who have been vexed by love! Ye who feel betrayed, ye broken-hearted ones, come forward to hear. This legend of olden times, told down through the centuries, begs to be repeated in this age for all you lovers out there. Perchance, this tale of old has attached itself to some Mighty Medieval Muse that pleads to speak through me. To keep this story from rattling around in my brain, disturbing my peace and threatening my sanity, I am compelled to repeat it.

      Ahh, love stories. Some say that love stories come from that Land of Euphoria better known as the Land of Delusion. Do any of us get through life with unscathed love? Don’t we all fall under some mysterious spell when we throw caution to the winds and body to the beloved? Who among us have not had a Grande Passion dashed by disappointment and excruciating LUV pain? Let’s stop right here and distinguish LUV from real Love. LUV brings illusion and obsession and creates a lot of wackiness in the world, whereas deep-abiding love creates stability. These two labels describe the very best and worst of that same feeling and emotional state that lies within HUMAN NATURE.

      And if you have never had a bad case of LUV PAIN, then pity. Pity indeed that you have never been under the out-of-control throes of love as it is a much needed Life Experience for the Building of True Character. Having one’s heart broken at least once is a defining quality of being a Juicy Human Being.

      For Ahhh yes, I know about love. I do know about great ardor and the mysteries of love having my heart broken many times.

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