Succeeding by Choice: How to Achieve Freedom, Happiness and Prosperity on Your Own Terms
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Succeeding by Choice - Dr. Levi Murray
CHAPTER ONE
Leading the Way
"If your actions inspire others to dream more,
learn more, do more and become more,
you are a leader."
— John Quincy Adams
There is a vacuum of leadership today. People are desperate for someone or something to follow. People go from one trend to the next, looking to see which celebrity is doing which diet, who is wearing what fashion, what political issues are hot topics and what the commentators say about them. The term leader
often takes on a negative connotation because it is associated with blame in our litigious society. Someone to blame when your needs are not met. Someone to blame when things go wrong. Someone to blame for not giving you the life you deserve.
This is all utter nonsense. Taking the responsibility away from people and attempting to provide everything for them is not leadership. It’s robbing you of your own growth opportunity. Leadership is inspiring others to reach higher levels of achievement. Leadership is empowering people to take control of their own situations. Leadership is helping people have a greater vision and opening their viewpoints to greater possibilities. Leadership means teaching people true principles and holding them accountable for the knowledge they have. As John Adams said in the quote above, a leader inspires people to learn more and do more, not depend on him or her for more and do less.
Sadly, if you look around today for this type of leader, you will rarely find one. Leaders are lacking in all areas of our society—politics, education, industry, religion, even in the home. You have the ability and the responsibility to be the leader in your own life. You can’t afford to wait for someone else to come along and inspire you to reach higher and push yourself forward. You must determine what it is you want from life and a path to get you there. You need to have the ability to stick to the course you have charted for yourself, even when it seems that you are traveling alone. You have to set your own vision for the future. If you don’t, you’ll end up following the crowd, meandering through life without a definite purpose, and being more preoccupied with what others are doing than with what you yourself are doing.
People are often like sheep. They need someone to follow, and they will follow almost anyone, as long as someone else is following that person too. There is a perception of safety in the crowd, in not standing out, in not getting extra attention, and in being lost in the flock and free from responsibility for where you are going or what you are doing. But this understanding of freedom and safety is a deception. True freedom comes from taking ownership of your own life, from being responsible for your own decisions and outcomes. True safety comes from having a broad vision of what is around you and making decisions that will take you to where you want to go. Being in control of your own life allows you to keep yourself safe and not be at the mercy of the masses who have an impaired collective judgment. People who follow the crowd or seek to mimic the popular opinion
are much like zebras crossing a crocodile infested river. Most make it across without being eaten simply because there are too many of them for the crocs to eat all at once. But following the crowd didn’t truly make them safe; it only decreased the odds that they would be eaten. Several zebras get eaten every time the herd crosses that river. What’s keeping it from being you the next time?
Fortunately, we have the capacity to reason on a higher level than animals do. A zebra may not be able to see that following the crowd and plunging into the muddy waters like everyone else may not be the safest thing to do, or that there might be another way to get across. But you can. Don’t get me wrong; there will always be risk where progress and growth are involved. The only way to eliminate risk is to eliminate action. To do nothing. But that is far more harmful than the potential for loss that comes with growth.
EXITING YOUR SHELL
I once had hermit crabs as pets while I was growing up. They aren’t great pets—they’re not soft or snuggly; you can’t play with them; they’re solitary and not active most of the time. I did learn one thing about them, though: They need to have a series of different size shells in their enclosure so they can grow. Hermit crabs use the abandoned shells of other creatures for their homes. As they grow, the shell does not, so they must leave it for another one periodically. Like many other invertebrates, hermit crabs have a hard exterior skeleton that makes growth tricky. First, they must exit their shells. The old exoskeleton is shed and they are very vulnerable while their new layer of exterior protection hardens. The crab’s entire body is covered with this protective layer, even its eyes. So as it sheds the old shell, it basically loses the outermost layers of its cornea and even its vision is impaired while it is exposed, soft, and without defenses. Why would a crab put itself at such risk just for a new shell? The alternative is death. A crab that refuses to change shells and go through the growth process will die. It’s not something the crab does without planning, though. It can be a long process for a crab to select a new shell. Then it tries to wait until the right moment to make the switch, when danger is at a minimum. For the crab, the potential gain outweighs the risk. Occasionally, though, a crab will not exit its current shell and will die. There are truths for us to learn here that extend into the human experience. Growth can be risky, but it is necessary for our survival. Planned growth can minimize risks and optimize results. You will feel vulnerable while you are growing. So don’t be paralyzed by self-doubt when it’s time to change shells. Chances are, there won’t be anyone there to tell you it’s time or to provide your next shell for you. It’s up to you to lead your own life—to recognize when you need to grow, and to find your next step and take it with confidence and according to your well thought-out plans.
Henry Kissinger once said:
"The task of the leader is to get his people from where
they are to where they have not been."
On a smaller scale, this is the task you have for yourself. Sometimes getting yourself where you want to be will inevitably involve getting others to move with you. A wonderful example of enlisting others is found in the life and work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. His motivation for changing the racial dynamic in the United States during the civil rights movement was two-fold. He was unhappy with the situation he was in as an African American. He was also unhappy with the situation many of his family, friends, and associates were in. He recognized the moral problem with the status quo at the time, and he realized he would only be able to effect change for himself and his children if he pushed for change on a grander scale. His willingness to take personal leadership in his life and home created an opportunity for him to lead on a larger scale and bring about a much needed and important societal change. King advocated for non-violent reform and was attacked and threatened many times. His willingness to stay the course landed him in prison and ultimately cost him his life. But he knew the potential risk and decided that the benefit far outweighed it. Many enjoy the fruits of his labors today and recognize the value of what he worked for. But there was no one who told him what to do at the time. There was no one who laid out a map for him and gave him step-by-step directions for social reform. He had to lead himself into uncharted territory, and he was willing to depart from the norm—to leave the crowd and put himself at risk to take advantage of the opportunity for growth. He knew where he and his people were, and he knew where they had not been. He may not have always been able to see perfectly every detail of the path that would lead them there, but he stayed the course and did all he could to move it forward.
Fortunately for us, most of us are not facing such opposition; nor are we constantly in harm’s way. Our own goals may not seem so important when compared to Dr. King’s, but don’t fool yourself. Just as his goal for equality was crucial for the development of our nation, your goals and vision are equally crucial for your own development. Without them, you’ll never become what you have the potential to be, and you’ll never do what you have the potential to do. All you have to do is lead. Begin by thinking independently about what you want out of life. Ignore what you are told by the media about what is desirable or worthwhile. Look inside yourself. Meditate. Seek guidance from a higher source. Seek out others who have accomplished things similar to what you are wanting. Decide that you will be the one to lead yourself and your family to where you want to go. Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you.
DECIDE NOW WHERE YOU STAND
Being a leader not only requires vision and action, but it will at times require sober self-analysis. Being honest with yourself and periodically evaluating your goals, progress, strengths, and weaknesses is essential. Being able to admit when you’ve made a mistake and to take corrective action immediately will yield far greater results than ignoring your mistake and trying to move forward without addressing it. Honesty and integrity are, of course, important in all aspects of life, but especially when deciding what steps you will take to achieve your goals. Decide what your boundaries are; be clear on what you believe to be right and wrong. A leader without a moral compass is no leader at all. If you wait until you are in the middle of a situation to try and decide what you are willing to do and what you are not, it is too late. These decisions must be made far in advance so that, when the time comes, you don’t have to hesitate or question yourself. If you look to the masses for guidance when faced with these decisions, you will receive every possible answer, which will amount to no answer. It must come from you.
EVERYDAY EFFORT
Leading in your own life is something you must do for a lifetime. You will never arrive
at a place where leadership is no longer needed. In fact, as you achieve more and your sphere of influence grows, the need for leadership will become even more important. Your decisions and actions will be affecting a larger group of people, and you will be entering uncharted territory where you may be faced with more frequent challenges that require a definite moral code and personal commitment. It requires daily effort to keep yourself inspired