Five Steps to Breaking Free from Porn
By Joe Dallas
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About this ebook
Porn has become so commonplace, even among Christians, that its use has woven itself into the daily lives of countless men and women, disrupting marriages and short-circuiting believers’ effectiveness for God. Users of pornography know their habit is wrong, but they ask, “What can I do to stop? How do I say no when porn tempts me?”
Author Joe Dallas has worked for more than 25 years with Christian men caught in the porn trap and has developed a five-step plan for breaking the cycle and developing a practical structure anyone can implement to keep himself from the destructiveness of pornography.
This concise and user-friendly manual is a must-have for the modern Christian man wanting to make a clean break from porn. With an emphasis on biblically-based principles, Five Steps to Breaking Free from Porn points the way to freedom and gives readers the tools they need to put the porn habit behind them forever.
Joe Dallas
Joe Dallas is an author, speaker, and pastoral counselor who conducts seminars nationwide. He is the founder of Genesis Biblical Solutions in Tustin, California, and has written six books on human sexuality from a Christian perspective, including such authoritative resources as the bestselling Desires in Conflict, The Complete Christian Guide to Understanding Homosexuality, and The Gay Gospel? His articles have been featured in Christianity Today magazine and the Journal of Psychology and Christianity, and he is a regular contributor to the Christian Research Journal.
Read more from Joe Dallas
The Game Plan: The Men's 30-Day Strategy for Attaining Sexual Integrity Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Christians in a Cancel Culture: Speaking with Truth and Grace in a Hostile World Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Speaking of Homosexuality: Discussing the Issues with Kindness and Clarity Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5When Homosexuality Hits Home: What to Do When a Loved One Says They're Gay Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Gay Gospel?: How Pro-Gay Advocates Misread the Bible Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Desires in Conflict Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
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Five Steps to Breaking Free from Porn - Joe Dallas
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INTRODUCTION
He said to me, Son of man, have you seen what the elders of the house of Israel do in the dark, every man in the room of his idols? For they say, ‘The LORD does not see us, the LORD has forsaken the land’
(Ezekiel 8:12).
Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight (Psalm 51:4).
Come, and let us return to the LORD; for He has torn, but He will heal us; He has stricken, but He will bind us up (Hosea 6:1).
When a man has a problem with porn, he has a problem with God. That’s because the repeated use of porn involves giving himself permission to violate the God-given standards of chastity, monogamy, and a sound mind. A porn habit requires a man to keep a private but huge part of his life to himself, outside of God’s will and authority. Conversely, to turn from porn is to relinquish his most private self back to God.
Are you ready to consider doing that? If so, this booklet is for you. If you’re not, don’t bother reading on.
This book is meant to be used. It’s for you if you have a problem with porn, realize you need help, and are ready to take concrete steps to break the habit once and for all. Readiness is the key. This book isn’t for you if you need to be convinced porn is wrong. If that question isn’t settled with you yet, ask yourself if what you’re getting from the stuff is worth what you’re losing. If you come up with yes
for an answer, come back when your answer is no,
and we’ll talk.
This book isn’t for guys who want a detailed analysis of porn’s adverse effects. Pornography does so much damage in so many areas of a man’s life that I couldn’t hope to cover them sufficiently in these pages. Besides, you know better than I do what it has cost you so far. Just consider what prompted you to look into this book, and I’ll wager much of it had to do with loss. For example, I’ll lose my marriage/reputation/self-respect/spiritual strength if I don’t stop.
What can I add to that? Only this: Your use of pornography may well not be the only problem. It can become a bridge to more serious, life-altering actions. The guy who stimulates himself on hard-core images often finds the images lose their kick
after a time, leaving him craving a stronger fix. The fix may then come through actions even more consequential than porn, such as online connections, strip clubs, massage parlors, prostitutes, and affairs. These consequences can be prevented if a man takes steps to break the porn habit while the problem is still in the private stage.
This is doubly true if you’re a family man. Your children can’t help but be damaged if they find out that Dad, who preaches morality and chastity to them, has been practicing something altogether different behind closed doors. Your credibility as leader in the home is largely made or broken by consistency. Inconsistency is a problem no leader, especially the head of a household, can afford.
My goal isn’t to provide an in-depth look at the psychological issues that might contribute to a man’s weakness for lusty images. I fully believe there are problems of the soul that can make you more susceptible to certain vices, porn included. But lust is also an equal-opportunity sin. Guys with deep psychological wounds can fall into it, and guys bursting with emotional health can be just as vulnerable. So while a book on the psychology of porn use might be an interesting read, this book isn’t it.
Instead, this is a handbook to help you break free from porn and stay that way. It’s based in part on my years of experience counseling men who came to my office desperate for help with their sexual issues. They didn’t come to me because of a bad decision they made. They came because of hundreds—even thousands—of bad decisions that linked together to forge a chain they wore like a prisoner’s shackles.
The Chain Is Forged
The first link in the chain usually starts with a discovery. Some act—the use of porn, a sexual fantasy, whatever—delivers a perceived positive impact. A deep impact the brain carefully records for future reference. Then, when