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    Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
    Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
    Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
    Ebook117 pages1 hour

    Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

    By AA. VV.

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Have fun with a collection of more than 1000 Chuck Norris' facts. Volume 4
     
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherKitabu
    Release dateAug 2, 2012
    ISBN9788867440948
    Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

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      Book preview

      Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors. - AA. VV.

      CHUCK NORRIS CAN SLAM REVOLVING DOORS.

      ISBN 978-88-674409-4-8

      Series: RADICI

      © 2014 KITABU S.r.l.s.

      Via Cesare Cesariano 7 - 20154 Milano

      Thank you for choosing to read one of ours books.

      We wish you a good reading.

      Chuck Norris put Stephen Hawking in that wheelchair. Hawking still freely admits that it was the greatest sexual experience he ever had.

      ~

      The U.S National Debt is a result of Chuck Norris' tax return.

      ~

      Chuck Norris once won a chilly contest simply by picking up the country of Chile and carrying it there with him. No one dare tell him they aren't the same.

      ~

      Chuck Norris once crushed a school bus full of children with his forehead.

      ~

      Chuck Norris can have unprotected sex with a volcano.

      ~

      We once had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.

      ~

      Chuck Norris shits Olympic gold medals, then feeds them to his dogs, which he then eats.

      ~

      On the 7th day, God wasn't resting; he was hiding from Chuck Norris.

      ~

      Chuck Norris is not a man; he is the culmination of hundreds of years of black oppression.

      ~

      Chuck Norris makes coffee out of women’s screams and the fear of children.

      ~

      Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once ate a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

      ~

      Chuck Norris thinks that MacGyver is a complete prick because he doesn't have facial hair.

      ~

      When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anaesthesia was applied to the doctors.

      ~

      Chuck Norris saves lives by not going to 3rd world countries.

      ~

      Each individual sperm cell in Chuck Norris' semen has a beard.

      ~

      Chuck Norris once visited the Middle East. While there, the Living Sea questioned his martial arts ability. Now it's the Dead Sea.

      ~

      The original design for the Total Gym included a Chuck Norris robot that would roundhouse kick the user in the face if they stopped working out.

      ~

      In the late 1980's, President Ronald Reagan asked Russian Premier Mikhail Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall. Why you might ask? So that Chuck Norris could have more target practice.

      ~

      Chuck Norris does not open doors for his date. He roundhouse kicks them down. Her, too.

      ~

      Chuck Norris went as Chuck Norris for Halloween. He got twice as much candy as anybody.

      ~

      Contrary to popular belief, a meteor did not end the dinosaurs' existence. It was Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick; it was so powerful it left a massive crater in the earth.

      ~

      Chuck Norris shaves his beard daily with a chainsaw, but when chuck looks in the mirror, it immediately grows back.

      ~

      If you ever meet Chuck Norris, he may flaunt the fact that he is fluent in over 6 million forms of communication. Be wary though, as most of these are either a punch to the face, or a kick to the groin.

      ~

      Despite what your family, your doctor, even what your genealogy says, Chuck Norris IS your daddy.

      ~

      Two and a Half Men was originally a show only about Chuck Norris.

      ~

      Every second Chuck Norris gets married. Every 3 seconds he kills his wife. After 4 seconds he starts again.

      ~

      Chuck Norris created the first perpetual motion machine by hanging a Volkswagen Beetle on the end of a tetherball pole then kicking it. Thus he solved the world's energy problem.

      ~

      Jack and Jill ran up the hill, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Jack down and made sweet barbaric love to Jill, then they both went home crying.

      ~

      Chuck Norris snorts battery acid to get a buzz. He claims it tickles.

      ~

      Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is an optical illusion. His right foot doesn't swing around and hit your head, his left foot spins the earth so that your head hits his foot.

      ~

      Chuck Norris has been doing it for so long that his Whoop Ass still comes in a mason jar.

      ~

      Chuck Norris speaks in 5.1 Dolby Digital Surround Sound.

      ~

      Never stare directly at Chuck Norris, or you will burn out your retinas.

      ~

      Chuck Norris is currently suing the band Earth, Wind and Fire, claiming that he is all three combined.

      ~

      Chuck Norris once commented, There are few problems in this world that cannot be solved by a swift roundhouse kick to the face. In fact, there are none.

      ~

      Chuck Norris' bologna has no first name.

      ~

      Chuck Norris knows no limit simply because limit is too scared to introduce itself

      ~

      Chuck Norris fixed the hole in the ozone layer.

      ~

      Chuck Norris once climbed Niagara Falls.

      ~

      Chuck Norris once impregnated every virgin on the planet on the same day and they all gave birth on the same day nine months later. This day has been called Labour Day.

      ~

      Chuck Norris has been forever banned from Blockbuster for taping over the ending of every movie to include himself.

      ~

      Chuck Norris' sperm does not make babies, it kills babies.

      ~

      Rock music was originally call Chuck Norris music but Chuck Norris only recognizes screaming as music.

      ~

      Chuck Norris has flown tons of food and medical supplies into New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Chuck Norris has never piloted an aircraft.

      ~

      Congress rejected a bill for the 22nd straight year that would make Chuck Norris the official death penalty in Texas because they still believe a fatal roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris is more of an honour than a penalty.

      ~

      Chuck Norris once beat a Korean at Star craft.

      ~

      The opening scene from Saving Private Ryan is actually Chuck Norris playing dodgeball in elementary school.

      ~

      Chuck Norris not only has eyes on the back of his head; he has them on each of his toes, so that he can see the reaction of the lucky person getting a roundhouse kick in the face.

      ~

      Looking for a safe stance on abortion? Neither is Chuck Norris.

      ~

      When Chuck Norris decides to wake, he makes the

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