Arrested Development
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Arrested Development - Anthony Moorehead
Publishing.
Dedication
To Andrea, who has shown me such
incomparable love and shown me things
about myself that I needed to know.
Introduction
Near the end of our local newspaper there is a weekly column called Shepherds Corner.
Every week, local church ministers take turns submitting a little write-up for contemplation and inspiration. As is sometimes the case with these columns, I found them to be rather banal, innocuous and nebulous. One pervasive issue that I noticed was never addressed, and which I felt should have been, is that of arrested development. What I wonder is why there are so many people, especially men, who seem to have developed or matured to a certain point, and then stalled.
For example, I occasionally run into an old acquaintance who will inform me that he/she was married but is now single. Well, we just grew apart over the years,
is the common explanation for the breakup. However, after further inquiry, I always realize what happened is that one person in the relationship continued to grow or mature, but the other one didn’t, and was left in the dust, so to speak. It’s not that they grew apart, but that one outgrew the other in the way a child outgrows the training wheels on his or her bike. This happens not only with couples, but with long-time friends.
A few years ago, I did a study of mental illness. Once I finished the academic material, I wanted to do a biographical study to supplement it. The person I chose was Vincent van Gogh. As so much of the biographical matter dealt with his art, I unintentionally was exposed to it. Over time, I inadvertently grew to appreciate its beauty and profoundness. I wondered why I had never before appreciated art of any kind. I could appreciate the beauty of a restored ‘69 T-Bird or a pretty girl, but not a starry night
or flowers.
Where is the logic of growing something you can’t eat...isn’t that girl stuff?
How could my inability to appreciate the beauty of God’s creation be considered manly
? Is it manly to be one-dimensional? Was this not some sort of intimidation indicative of a deficiency in courage; and is not courage rightly acknowledged as an essential of manliness? So, too, these personal contemplations fuelled my interest in the subtleties and causes of arrested development. So as I undertake this subject, I am gladly reminded of the old maxim about how one learns more when one endeavours to teach others.
As far as submitting an article to the newspaper was concerned, I was told that any article would have to be fewer than 1,400 words. As I could not condense this topic, I decided to go to a book format. Throughout this book, I’ll be using the terms lack of maturity,
arrested development
and one-dimensional
interchangeably, as I address the subject matter. Also to be dealt with are the contrasting terms, civilized
and barbarism.
Civilized
describes one who does not subjugate himself to base urges, but first critiques them on the principles of morality and logic. Barbarism
is the antithesis of this, describing one who can’t/won’t repress base urges due to possessing a deficient character or a weak mind.
I have written this book with men a little more in mind than women, as arrested development seems more endemic with those of us who are male. Sadly, however, I would describe the situation among North American woman not as better, than but not quite as bad as the situation with men. So whether you are a man or woman, young or old, and you feel stifled or frustrated by a recurring pattern of stagnation, false starts or failures, then the time is probably right for you to read this book.
Philosophical Changes
We’ll be looking at a number of changes which occurred over the last (few) decades that have facilitated or engendered arrested development, both in individuals and collectively. We’ll start with philosophical changes, as they are the most serious; for it is the way that one’s mind perceives life, the world and truth that determines his attitude and behaviour. As George Bernard Shaw once said, We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
This belief is a popular favourite among those who would argue against the subject of arrested development even being raised, much less discussed. Our pop culture celebrates and prizes youthfulness, while perceiving agedness as undesirable and dreaded. This is characteristic of our 21st Century Western Civilization. Other societies, removed either in time or geography, have held agedness and the maturity, experience and wisdom that are usually commensurate with it, in high esteem.
Nobody, and I include myself here, relishes the physical deterioration that comes with aging. Like so many others, I try to keep physically fit and mentally stimulated. Yet there is a difference between this and the mindset of today’s society that celebrates, embraces and aspires to everything redolent of what is deemed youthful. One’s dress, perspective on life, pastimes, taste in music, relations with the opposite sex, etc., which previously distinguished the generations, have now become blurred. The Bon Jovi song, 18 Till I Die,
is the dictum of our day, whereas the admonition to grow up and act your age
is considered prudish, repressive and anachronistic. These changes in attitudes and expectations have led to a condensing of the generations, resulting in a somewhat indistinct, homogenous soup. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child. I thought as a child but when I became a man I put away childish things
¹ is a better point of view.
Moral Relativism
Moral relativism is basically the belief that there are no moral absolutes, that they are subjective. Morals are therefore like beauty, which is said to be in the eye of the beholder.
There is no better or worse, just different, as in, You have your beliefs and I have mine.
The individual decides what is true or false, coarse or refined, sublime or base. Morality and truth become similar to a dinner buffet where the individual’s preference is preeminent: I hate peas but I like the cheesecake, so I’ll load up my plate accordingly.
This kind of thinking is common, as no culture nowadays is to be deemed better than another, just different. This is the premise for multiculturalism.
This philosophy is hardly new, however, as Plato and others have argued against this fallacy over thousands of years. To accommodate the change in thinking from moral absolutes to moral relativism, the word moral
has been replaced by the word value.
This weasel word is much more convenient than moral,
as it doesn’t carry the extra moral baggage. As with the buffet, one can stand as judge over the panorama of the wide variety of morals and arbitrarily decide which ones he does or does not value. Those that are valued can be kept; those not valued can be summarily rejected.
The nature of morals must be acknowledged as absolute. This acknowledgement is critical. That they are not at the mercy or whim of times (eras), what is popular or convenient is not only fundamental to sound and honest ideology, but also essential for the course of life. Some may feel that I am splitting hairs concerning morals and values as being non-synonymous. The following example should elucidate the point. A few months ago, our conservative Prime Minister was denigrated over his foreign policy of not subsidizing third-world families with money for abortions. Michael Ignatieff, the official leader of the opposition, as well as Hillary Clinton, the queen of pinkos, alleged that Prime Minister Harper was out of touch with our values.
When a conflict arises between someone being able to do whatever she/he wants to (abortion) and what is moral (the sanctity of human life), we conveniently designate the personally preferred option with the word value.
Gay weddings present a similar example. Once again, the freedom to choose is given both validation and supremacy by conveniently designating it as a value.
This is why the word value
has been altered from its traditional use to subtly facilitate and legitimize moral relativism. This is why I refer to it with disdain as a weasel word routinely used to subvert what is moral. Whether ship, plane or car, all need and use fixed points of reference (absolutes) to navigate their course. Ships and planes use a compass, a car uses the painted highway lines. If you disregard those lines and veer off course, you’ll end up in the ditch or in the lane of oncoming traffic. Likewise, the more one disregards moral absolutes, the more likely one suffers ruin.
Moreover, a lack of moral absolutes can kill aspiration. Just as an athlete who achieves his goal of running a fourteen-minute mile will then aspire to do it in twelve minutes, so someone who aspires to build character will also aspire to moral standards. The mandate to critique or challenge oneself is greatly weakened by moral relativism. For example, a man is much less likely to look in the mirror