Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    The Sales Survival Handbook: Cold Calls, Commissions, and Caffeine Addiction--The Real Truth About Life in Sales
    The Sales Survival Handbook: Cold Calls, Commissions, and Caffeine Addiction--The Real Truth About Life in Sales
    The Sales Survival Handbook: Cold Calls, Commissions, and Caffeine Addiction--The Real Truth About Life in Sales
    Ebook218 pages2 hours

    The Sales Survival Handbook: Cold Calls, Commissions, and Caffeine Addiction--The Real Truth About Life in Sales

    By Ken Kupchik

    ()

    Switch to audiobook
    Read preview

    About this ebook

    From the cold calling, to commissions and caffeine addiction, learn the real hard truth about life in the sales profession.

    Lying customers. Changing quotas. Soul-crushing management. PSSD-inducing pressure (Post Sales Stress Disorder). What’s not to love about the world of sales?

    Whether you’ve been in sales for a while, are new to the game, or just need a lift, The Sales Survival Handbook shows you how to:

    • Overcome objections without tears (yours and theirs)
    • Get out of a sales slump legally
    • Cold call without needing sedatives
    • Beg for referrals (yes, beg)
    • Spot common types of customers, coworkers, and managers
    • Maintain a social life (mission impossible?)

    Complete with quizzes, lists, real-world advice, and all the dos and don’ts that have popped up thus far in the sales world, The Sales Survival Handbook offers you everything you need to survive the agony and enjoy the ecstasy of your sales career.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherThomas Nelson
    Release dateSep 7, 2017
    ISBN9780814438657
    Author

    Ken Kupchik

    Ken Kupchik is a writer and the creator of Sales Humor, a popular social media account with over one million followers across Facebook, LinkedIn and Instagram. His first book, The Sales Survival Handbook: Cold Calls, Commissions, and Caffeine Addiction--The Real Truth About Life in Sales, was published by AMACOM (now HarperCollins Leadership) in 2017. He lives in Boston, MA.

    Related to The Sales Survival Handbook

    Related ebooks

    Motivational For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Two Powerful Ways To Grow Your Sales

      Apr 22, 2020

      If you have ever failed, you know something that those who never tried don’t. You learn much more from failure than you do from success. If you pay attention. However, salespeople are failing every day and missing the opportunity to learn. I’ve disti

      2 min read

    • Article

      Building Credibility in Business

      Dec 31, 2019

      Building Credibility in Business
      3 min read

    • Article

      Sell Like a Human

      Mar 29, 2017

      Sell Like a Human
      1 min read

    • Article

      Simple Works

      Jun 17, 2018

      Simple Works
      2 min read

    • Article

      The Thinksales Approach

      Jun 17, 2018

      The Thinksales Approach
      1 min read

    • Article

      Choosing Sales Activity That Determines The Best Outcome

      May 27, 2019

      IN THE NEXT look at our “8 levers of sales growth” series I tackle the decision between doing more volume of sales activity generally or focusing on more targeted sales activity. It seems like a simple answer, but it isn’t always as obvious as you’d

      2 min read

    • Article

      Expert Opinion

      Sep 1, 2017

      What’s really on the minds of branding bigwigs? We rounded up four anonymous industry leaders to give us their unflinchingly honest thoughts.

      6 min read

    • Article

      Magnus’ Marketing Minute

      Jun 1, 2023

      Michael Magnus is an advertising professional who supports the growth of the leather industry through his marketing agency, Magnus Opus. Among his client partnerships are Silver Creek Leather Co., manufacturers of Realeather® Crafts and Lace, and Jim

      5 min read

    • Article

      Magnus’ Marketing Minute

      Nov 1, 2023

      Michael Magnus is an advertising professional who supports the growth of the leather industry through his marketing agency, Magnus Opus. Among his client partnerships are Silver Creek Leather Co., manufacturers of Realeather® Crafts and Lace, and Jim

      6 min read

    • Article

      How To Lose $5000 Instantly

      Nov 1, 2023

      How To Lose $5000 Instantly
      4 min read

    • Article

      Don’t Compete

      May 1, 2023

      In the last edition, I shared my thoughts on the power and value of sharing your knowledge and expertise with those around you. Sharing was the first of three principles we work very hard to promote here at Odin Leather Goods. Here’s a quick reminder

      4 min read

    • Article

      A Sweet Scoop of Success

      Jul 18, 2023

      A Sweet Scoop of Success
      2 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for The Sales Survival Handbook

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      The Sales Survival Handbook - Ken Kupchik

      FOREWORD

      I’ve tried to give up sales more times than I care to admit. After:

      ■ Being beat up by moronic gatekeepers during endless prospecting blocks.

      ■ Losing a big deal to a competitor who is devoid of integrity.

      ■ Losing a big deal because my sales manager ran his mouth and ticked off my prospect.

      ■ Losing a big deal because the executive who went with me on the call was an arrogant ass and knew nothing about sales.

      ■ Losing a big deal because my prices were too high.

      ■ Losing a big deal because my prices were too low. (Yep, that really happened.)

      ■ Losing a big deal because lawyers changed the terms at the last minute and my boss got scared (wimp).

      ■ Losing a big deal because I’m a moron (true story—buy me a drink sometime).

      ■ The commission plan was changed again (still don’t understand it).

      ■ Having to fight for a commission check because the people who write them were jealous of how much money I made (@#&*^% bean counters!).

      ■ Finding out that the dude who said he was the decision maker was really the janitor. (Why does that keep happening to me?)

      ■ Wasting my life buried in the CRM because, of course, if it’s not in the CRM, it didn’t happen. (I guess that signed contract I just dropped on your desk was a mirage, too.)

      ■ Getting my ass handed to me by my sales manager for expensing a $1000 steak dinner and other entertainment with a million–dollar client I had just signed. ( Do whatever it takes to close the deal, he said. Apparently not that.)

      Frankly, I have a love/hate relationship with Sales. I hate Sales and for some reason, it can’t seem to get enough of me. I’ve quit more times than I can count. I’ve dreamed of a low–stress office job with a steady paycheck. But each time I thought I was free of its icy grip, Sales pulled me back in.

      Sales is a tough, grueling, rejection–filled profession. The pressure to deliver and the demand to perform is unrelenting. Salespeople experience incredible highs and the lowest of lows. The threat of getting fired because you miss your numbers is always hanging over your head. Nobody cares what you’ve sold. The only thing that matters is what you sell today.

      Good salespeople get more rejections before 9:00 a.m. than the average person gets in an entire year. Most people wouldn’t last a minute in their shoes because they are so afraid of rejection that they’d rather starve to death than talk to a stranger.

      Salespeople are the elite athletes of the business world. The employees of your company (even if they don’t act like they understand this) count on you for their jobs and paychecks. The owners and executives need you to deliver on your numbers to keep the shareholders happy. (Yet, notice the operations managers, bean counters, and Peter principle executives who think that what you do is easy.)

      Simply put, without salespeople (elite athletes) you have no customers, no profit, no growth, no company, no team. I want you to stop for a moment and look at yourself in the mirror. See yourself for who you really are, an elite athlete. Just as a professional sports team counts on its players to deliver in the game, your company counts on its elite athletes (you) to deliver in the marketplace (even if they have a strange way of showing their appreciation).

      This is the reason why what Ken Kupchik does for the sales world is so important. There are tens of millions of salespeople across the globe, a gigantic community of people working their butts off, who are often overlooked and underappreciated by the organizations that count on them for survival. In this crazy, upside–down world, Ken reminds us to forget about the schmucks and laugh ourselves all the way to the bank.

      For years, Ken has helped sales professionals lighten the load with Sales Humor. Now he’s done the only thing that is more miserable than going head–to–head with 10,000 vicious gatekeepers—write a book.

      Unlike most other sales books though, this book focuses on the culture and lifestyle of sales professionals, and it does it in a brutally honest and hilarious way. In The Sales Survival Handbook, Ken holds nothing back. He’ll make you laugh out loud while seriously considering a new career that doesn’t involve getting kicked around like a European soccer ball.

      So, now that you’ve survived this god–awful foreword, read on. I promise you’ll laugh until you cry.

      Jeb Blount,

      CEO of Sales Gravy and Author of

      the #1 Bestseller, Fanatical Prospecting

      INTRODUCTION

      Sales is the world’s second–oldest profession, after prostitution. And although there are many similarities between the two careers, only one is legal.

      There are millions of salespeople around the world, nearly 14 million according to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, whose employees have probably never sold a single thing in their entire lives. That figure of 14 million also happens to coincide with the number of Americans who are currently taking some sort of prescription medication, which can’t just be a coincidence.

      Sales is stressful, demanding, frustrating, and also incredibly fun and rewarding. There is no other profession with as many ups and downs, where you can go from crying in the bathroom one minute to popping a bottle of champagne the next and then back to crying in your car all in the same day.

      This book is for anyone who is brave enough to wake up in the morning, drink an unnatural amount of caffeine, and live the life of a salesperson. It’s rarely easy, but oftentimes it’s worth it.

      1

      WELCOME TO SALES

      Before you dive headfirst into sales life, it’s important to know if the profession is a good fit for you. The following test will help you figure out if you were born to work in sales, or if you were meant to actually live a happy life.

      IS SALES RIGHT FOR YOU?

      TAKE THIS QUIZ AND FIND OUT

      Please read the following questions and answer each one yes or no:

      1. Are you motivated by money?

      2. Do you have a strong work ethic?

      3. Are you good at handling rejection?

      4. Can you handle being ignored?

      5. Can you handle someone yelling at you on a regular basis?

      6. Are you OK with working nights and weekends until you feel like you’re going to die?

      7. Can you survive on a strict diet of energy drinks and potato chips from the vending machine?

      8. Are you able to handle people repeatedly lying to your face as if you’re some sort of gullible moron?

      9. Does an inconsistent income make you feel warm in your stomach area?

      10. When upset, are you able to cry on the inside like a winner?

      11. Do you enjoy a challenge, even when it’s statistically impossible and defies any and all logic?

      12. Are you able to smile at someone despite every single human instinct telling you not to?

      13. In your opinion, is free time overrated?

      14. Do you thrive in a fast–paced environment where you have to hide in the janitor’s closet in order to find one single moment of sweet solitude?

      15. Are you an optimist?

      Results

      Count the total number of times you answered yes and see below for the results.

      NOT A CHANCE (1–3 YES ANSWERS)

      Sales is not for you. You will be chewed up and spit out in a matter of days and will likely end up bitter at the world for subjecting you to such a cruel injustice. You should look for a career that is low stress and affords you time to spend gardening and doing other things that real salespeople would never, ever do.

      TRY DOING SOMETHING ELSE FIRST (4–6 YES ANSWERS)

      You might be able to survive in sales for a little while, but you’re never going to enjoy it. Perhaps customer service is a better fit for you, where you can interact pleasantly with consumers without having to convince them to buy anything. You are a coward.

      YOU COULD MAKE A LIVING IN SALES (7–9 YES ANSWERS)

      Sales can be a great way for you to pay the bills, but you’re probably never going to be at the top of the board. You have some tendencies that will help you consistently close new business deals, but you just aren’t aggressive enough to be a superstar. You’re probably very good at compromising with your significant other and would let your in–laws move in with you if they asked.

      YOU WERE BORN TO SELL (10–12 YES ANSWERS)

      If you look up salesperson in the dictionary, there’s a picture of a man in a tie. This man is not you. But you do have all of the characteristics of a successful salesperson and will thrive as part of a sales force. You will make a lot of money in sales, so be careful that you don’t spend it all.

      YOU’RE A TRUE CLOSER BUT PROBABLY NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP (13–15 YES ANSWERS)

      Your personality is perfectly suited for sales, but you’re likely to experience challenges adjusting to society as a whole. Any sales organization would be extraordinarily lucky to have you as a part of its team, and as long as it keeps a close eye on you to make sure you don’t commit any federal crimes or violate the company’s harassment policies, you’ll be Salesperson of the Year in no time.

      SALES TERMS AND DEFINITIONS

      Since you’ve decided to become a sales professional with a job who is going to make a lot of money by working hard, it’s time for you to learn some basics about sales. Salespeople communicate with each other through a unique language that you’ll come across at every sales floor anywhere in the world.

      If you want to fit in with your fellow salespeople, you’ll need to learn the lingo. Here are some phrases and definitions that all salespeople should be able to recognize.

      Gatekeeper (geyt-kee-per)—noun

      1. A person in charge of a gate, usually meant to block you from the decision maker and therefore your commission check.

      2. Someone who rudely answers the phone and pretends that the boss isn’t available before hanging up on you and going back on Instagram.

      The gatekeeper told me that if I ever called there again, she would call the FBI on me.

      Put up wood (poot) (uhp) (wood)—verb

      1. When you’re submitting a deal that is highly unlikely to close in an effort to look like you’re actually doing something productive.

      The new guy keeps putting up wood, so it’s unlikely that he’ll close enough deals to pay off his bookie this month.

      Whale (hweyl, weyl)—noun

      1. A very affluent or prominent customer whose purchase or account will produce a large amount of profit and whose life seems infinitely better than yours.

      The guy was a total whale; he came in and bought an oceanside condo in all cash!

      Lay-down (ley) (doun)—noun

      1. A customer who is eager to purchase something and buys immediately, without negotiating over the price or dragging out the sales process.

      2. As rare as a unicorn.

      I didn’t think I would close enough deals to hit my goal this month, but a lay-down came in on Friday morning and I closed the deal.

      Green pea (green) (pee)—noun

      1. A brand–new sales employee with little to no experience in the profession who will be hazed mercilessly by coworkers until they are on the verge of quitting or lashing out.

      We let the green pea take a customer by herself, and she looked like a deer in headlights when she got her first objection.

      Skate (skeyt)—verb

      1. When one salesperson steals another salesperson’s customer behind their back.

      2. When a salesperson has been working with a customer for some period of time, and a coworker disregards that fact in order to enrich themselves without any shred of guilt or remorse.

      I was working with Mr. Malouf for three weeks and then Ryan decided to skate me and closed the deal on my day off.

      One-legger (wuhn) (leg-er)—adjective

      1. A situation where only one of two (or multiple) decision makers is present in discussions about the deal.

      2. When a spouse cannot make a decision without their significant other because their life is one continuous disappointment.

      I thought I was going to easily

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1