Natalie's Wedding (The Bridesmaid's Checklist series)

Whenever a friend of mine dropped for a quick visit, it was always a nice surprise. Having Natalie for dinner was no different. She was a lovely woman, always doing her best to make everyone around her happy and comfortable. I thought she was even more beautiful on the inside than she was on the outside, and that was hard to top. With blonde hair, sky-blue eyes, and a smile so bright, she had a way of making people happy to comply with whatever she asked. But tonight, her charming smile didn’t illuminate her face. If I really thought about it, her smile hadn’t been the same for a while. Now I understood why.

Why would you say that, Nat? I couldn’t understand what she’d just told me.

Because it’s true, Kassie. Her shoulders fell as she exhaled what she believed was true. I know it’s hard to believe. I couldn’t believe it myself, but I reached the point where there’s no denying it anymore. He’s definitely having an affair.

She seemed so heartbroken. Her wide eyes glanced around the house as if she were lost, apparently finding it difficult to concentrate on any given point. She slouched as if in defeat, her hair seemed dull pulled back in a painful ponytail, but most of all, her sad smile seemed forced, so out of place on her face. She seemed so lonely sitting on my kitchen counter stool, regardless of whether or not if Josh and I were there with her. When did this happen? Why didn’t I notice before? I quickly moved to her side and held her in a tender hug with no idea what to say. I didn’t want to believe that Andrik could possibly put her through that. He was always so protective of her, looking after her every need. He was hands down the most decent man I’d ever met.

There had to be some sort of mistake.

Natalie, do you think you could’ve made a mistake? Josh sat next to us by the kitchen counter. He and I had been about to have one of our in-home dinner dates when Natalie showed up at our place. Naturally, we invited her to join us. What we didn’t count on was the bitter aftertaste her news had left in both our mouths. Andrik would never cheat on you.

Natalie and Andrik had always been the most stable couple out of my group of friends. They weren’t the first to get married—that had been Denise and Clay—but they’d been next in line. It had surprised us all a little when Nat decided to marry a man so many years her senior; Andrik was actually her mother’s age. But everything about them had always been so natural, so organic. They seemed to belong to one another from very beginning of their relationship. I wasn’t any more ready to see that change.

I wish that were true, Josh, she told him. But I’m positive that’s what’s happening. Her voice trembled with emotion, her eyes red, and her hand felt clammy and cold in mine.

That makes no sense, Josh insisted. He’d never do something like that.

She laughed a little, more as a defense mechanism than humor, and it came out lifeless and sad. Staring at the dark marble of our counter, she traced the intrinsic pattern with her fingers. How can you be so sure, Josh? You don’t know him that well.

I know him enough, Josh answered with certainty. He leaned over the counter, holding himself up with his arms and hovering too close for Natalie’s comfort. He’s crazy about you. He would never do something to hurt you.

Well, he sure is hurting me right now. Natalie had never liked confrontation, and Josh’s questioning certainly didn’t seem to help. She held herself in a protective hug, her eyes now fixated on our floor as she avoided eye contact with either one of us.

Why? How is he hurting you? Josh insisted, changing his position now to stand right in front of her, his arms crossed before his broad chest. Somehow, I needed to get him to back off. Natalie never could stomach having all her feelings out on display; she preferred suffering in silence. Knowing that, it made sense why she hadn’t mentioned anything before. If she was here now, letting us know, it was because she needed a shoulder to cry on, not someone to make her spill her guts out.

There’s a lot of things going on, Josh. Natalie still couldn’t look at him, making an effort to lift her head and meet his gaze only for a second before she turned away again. She sounded exhausted and desperate, her voice pained and weak.

Name one—

Josh, babe, I interrupted as I slowly breached between them, lightly pushing Josh away and wrapping my arm around my friend. Could you please open another bottle of wine? I think we could use a drink.

Kass, I don’t—

Well, I think Nat needs a minute, I said. Then she started crying against me, hiding her face from us. You could use a breather, too.

Sure. He exhaled as he looked at Natalie behind me, obviously aware now that he’d pushed her to the precipice without realizing it. He scratched the back of his head and took two steps toward the wine cellar, then gently placed his hand on her shoulder and said, I’m sorry, Nat. I just can’t fucking believe it. This is so messed up.

I gave her a minute to calm down and compose herself. I needed it, so I was sure she needed it, too; it was heart-shattering to see her this upset. I went around the counter and grabbed some tissue to offer her. It occurred to me to go to the bathroom to grab an actual box of Kleenex, but I didn’t want to leave her alone or for Josh to come back before I did.

He didn’t take long, coming back with a new bottle of wine and some sparkling water just in case. Natalie had mentioned she was going to pick up her daughter from her mother’s after visiting us, and I could only assume he wanted to give her another option.

Ella was almost one year old—a little cherub. It was easy to fall in love with her curiosity and never-ending supply of smiles and laughter. So far, she was a perfect replica of Natalie, and she’d been so wanted. Natalie had dreamed about her even before she married Andrik, and once they started their life together, it became Natalie’s mission to make that daughter in her dream a reality.

I held Natalie in my arms as she silently cried against my chest. Josh offered her some more tissues to dry her eyes, and she accepted them, pulling herself from my arms and grabbing her now full glass of wine. I probably shouldn’t drink. I won’t be able to drive.

I’ll take you home if you’d like, Josh offered without hesitation.

That’ll be nice.

You could definitely stay here too if you’d rather spend the night with us, I added. I didn’t know if it was something she needed, but I had to make sure she knew she had other options.

That just feels like running away.

Sometimes, taking a break from reality is exactly what we need, Josh commented. He stepped up beside her as I sat on the stool next to her, and he put a hand on her shoulder. As soon as his arm wrapped around her, she gave a slow nod of agreement. I didn’t know if it was Josh’s protectiveness making her agree with him, but what I knew for sure was that she’d come to our house for just that kind of break—though Josh and I had had no idea at first. Sorry about before, he added.

I’m sorry for showing up and having a huge meltdown, Natalie replied as she held my hand.

You’re always welcome here. I gave her hand a squeeze to emphasize my point. Do you want to talk about it?

Not really.

"What do you want, Nat?" Josh asked.

I think… I need another spring roll.

Have as many as you like.

There’s just no fucking way Andrik’s sleeping around on Nat. No way! I’d heard Josh say the same thing several different ways on our drive home. He not-so-gently gripped the steering wheel of his Challenger.

I know. I can’t believe it, either. I was running out of replies, and I had no idea how to make him feel better, seeing as since I struggled with it myself. Honestly, I was more worried about Natalie than anything else. I’d only seen her that upset one other time, when she told us she couldn’t have children. All her life, she’d wished for the perfect family and somehow, against all odds, became a mother with the best husband in the world. The possibility of Andrik hurting her so deeply and taking away her dream seemed surreal.

I’m sure it’s some sort of misunderstanding. Josh couldn’t let it go. You have to make Nat talk to him. He isn’t an asshole. He worships the ground she walks on. It makes no fucking sense.

I’ll check on her tomorrow, I said. Tell the rest of the girls about it. Natalie needs us. I rubbed my pant legs, my hands feeling cold and unpleasantly damp.

But make sure she talks to her husband. He gave me a determined stare before looking back at the road. Andrik isn’t that kind of man. I wouldn't be surprised if Ed had a fling on the side, but not Andrik. Never him.

What makes you so sure? His words surprised me. Edward was his best friend, and Josh had no problem picturing him cheating on his wife. Why couldn’t Andrik cheat on Nat? He’d cheated before; in fact, he’d cheated on his previous wife with Nat, and that was how they fell in love. He’d been married before he broke his wedding vows and ultimately left his family to begin a new one with my friend. I didn’t like it, but I couldn’t discard the possibility that he’d do it again.

"There’s just something about the way he looks at her. It’s so obvious how much he loves her. He’s still in love with her. I’m just sure. Josh switched gears angrily, and I was afraid he’d wreck the clutch and not even notice. He’d regret that later. It’s like when you told me you thought Dzed was cheating on Babbah."

Shut the hell up! What did my grandparents have to do with anything?

Exactly! Not fucking believable. He shook his index finger at the windshield before slamming his hand bitterly back down on the wheel.

Why do you have to use my grandparents as an example?

"I couldn’t use any of our parents. He shrugged. Josh’s mother had raised him on her own, and my parents had died when I was five. While our families weren’t the best illustration, I still held onto the greatest memories of my parents as a couple. I’m sorry, babe, he added. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m so fucking shocked."

I couldn’t tell. I chuckled softly and rolled my eyes. And I feel the same way. I just don’t understand why you feel so strongly about this.

I really like them. They’ve been kind of an example to me. I look at them, and that’s the kind of life I want with you. Josh moved his hand from the wheel to take mine. Of course, it’s nice that there’s not such a big age gap between us. He winked at me, then let out a long, slow breath. I guess I also feel really protective of Nat. She’s too sweet. I don’t want her to hurt, especially since I consider her our personal cupid. We might not be together if it wasn’t for her.

It surprised me that he felt the same way as I did about my friend’s support of our relationship. Natalie had cheered us on from the very beginning. She’d always made little remarks about how Josh was the perfect man for me, even when I was in total denial. She’d been his champion whenever we were all in the same room. When I turned the other way, she kept pushing him toward me, and she never gave up. Even if she asked us not to interfere, I owed her whatever help I could give to save her marriage.

We’d left late to pick up Ella and take her and Natalie home, and when we finally got back to our house, I was exhausted. What I really needed was a long bath before bed, and I’d work on figuring out how to help Natalie—without hurting her even more—in the morning. She’d torture herself endlessly if she waited too long to talk to Andrik about what was going on.

Josh parked in front the house, not bothering with the garage. As he turned off the engine, I let myself out and went to unlock the front door. Once I’d stepped inside the wooden entryway, I felt his hands on my waist, and he turned me around to face him, pressing me against the wall with his body. He pressed his lips against mine, working his magic and leaving me sore. Eager hands roamed my body until they found their way to my neck. Josh held my face tenderly, making me feel precious, needed. Then the kisses that had quickly made me forget about my friend’s situation abruptly stopped. Josh’s forehead rested against mine, both of us breathing heavily.

I can see the gears turning in your head, he said. I know you’re trying to figure out a way to help Natalie. And while I’m nothing but supportive, I want you to remember something. He pulled back a little, his deep gray eyes gazing intently into mine. I love you, Kass. You’re everything to me.

I love you, too.

I just need you to know that. Whatever’s going on with Natalie and Andrik is upsetting and sad, and I really hope it isn’t true. The only thing I know for sure is how much I love you. How much I want you.

Anything I could have said would have just repeated what he’d already told me. Instead of telling him how much I loved him back, I showed him the best way I knew how.

I jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs firmly around his waist, my lips seeking his to continue their previous assault. I’d always found it easier to communicate with my body what I couldn’t voice. I kissed his neck and could almost feel his eyes roll to the back of his head in pleasure. It gave him time to say, I know it’s totally selfish, but I don’t want to worry about our friends tonight.

I pulled my lips away from the soft skin of his neck, where I’d felt his heartbeat pulsing, and leaned back to look at him. Take me upstairs, I said, a little breathless. I want to show you exactly how I feel about you.

Chapter 2

In one of the most exclusive cities in Los Angeles county, Natalie pulled into the driveway, exhausted. She and Andrik had favored Calabasas, wanting to be surrounded by wealthy residents and gated neighborhoods. She never pictured herself returning to a dark and empty house, but lately, it seemed to always be that way. She missed Josh and Kassandra’s company already.

Kassie had been one of her best friends for longer than she could remember. She’d been the first person Natalie told when she got her first kiss, had sex for the first time, fell in love, decided to marry, and finally got pregnant. Kassie was the only person she thought of when she wanted to tell someone about her imminent failure as a wife. Natalie hadn’t stopped for a moment to consider that Josh would be there, but his presence had been comforting in a way—even if he refused to believe Andrik was having an affair.

She and Josh had become fairly close friends since the first time they met, and she’d almost instantly realized his true intentions with Kassandra. Kassie had been stubborn enough not to admit how much she was into Josh, and Nat was there to help them out a little. She knew they were meant to be together, and she’d always been happy for them. Even now, her friends had offered to take her to her mother’s house to pick up the baby.

Natalie parked the SUV in their garage and carried her daughter inside. When she’d first picked up Ella from her mother’s house, her daughter had been so full of energy. Thankfully, the drive home had done the trick and put the active little girl to sleep. Inside, she stopped to turn on the entryway light, then found herself turning on almost every lamp to try to bring some life into the gloomy house, stopping once she reached her daughter’s gray and pink room. Natalie had hired the best decorator in the city to give Ella a beautiful nursery, easily transformable into a girly room as her daughter grew. Now with Ella in her crib and the monitor on, she could go to her room and think about the best way to approach her husband. Not that she’d thought about much else for the last few days.

Taking a shower to wash off the long, emotional day didn’t have the desired effect. She couldn’t relax; she didn’t feel better. Knowing her husband would be home late again because of work didn’t exactly put her mind at ease, either. Andrik was a hard worker—he had been when they met—and it was one of the reasons she loved him as much as she did. She wouldn’t expect anything else. She also knew how demanding his job was. Once upon a time, that job had come in particularly handy when they’d decided to start a life together.

Andrik was an extremely successful divorce attorney. In a place like Los Angeles, dissolution of marriages was an everyday occurrence. Some ex-couples were lucky enough to settle in the office after several meetings, and others needed to go to court. Andrik’s clients were usually far too wealthy to allow for any scandal, but sometimes, the press interference and the money involved made a circus of a very intimate legal situation. When millions of dollars were in dispute, people showed hidden sides of their personality in quite a different light.

Natalie wondered if something of the sort would happen to them. It had certainly happened with Andrik’s previous wife.

The sharp sound of the door closing helped Natalie leave the past and concentrate on the present. Andrik was home, and she’d decided that tonight, she’d confront him about his recent unusual behavior. Maybe Josh was right. Maybe he wasn’t cheating on her. Either way, she had to know exactly what was going on.

Oh, hi, honey. I didn’t expect you to be awake, Andrik said. He entered their bedroom and placed his suit jacket on the chair by the door, not bothering to hang it on one of the cedar hangers in their walk-in closet. It’s late, sweetie. Aren’t you tired?

I wanted to see you before I went to bed. You’ve been so busy lately that if I don’t wait up for you, I might never see you. She sat on her side of her bed, pretending to look at one of her fashion magazines.

I know, he replied. I’ve been so busy with that model’s case, I haven’t had much time for anything else. One of his new clients was in the process of divorcing a movie star. The supermodel had been naive enough not to sign a prenup, and now that her career was more successful than her spouse’s, she was looking at losing a lot of money. We want to hurry and solve everything up before the media gets a hold of the story. Andrik walked toward his wife and placed a tender kiss on her lips, quickly leaving her side to move around the bed.

I see. Natalie didn’t care about the skinny bitch and her problems. She wanted her husband to herself, and to hell with everyone else. She placed the magazine on her side table and said, Let’s go downstairs, and you can tell me about it. I can fix you some dinner.

You’re sweet, but talking about the case isn’t exactly what I want to do. He loosened his silk tie, pulled it over his head, and let it fall to the carpet under his feet. I want to shower and get some rest. One of the paralegals already brought everyone dinner. I don’t feel like anything else.

Oh, I see. A paralegal had brought him dinner—a leggy young woman who was probably serving him dessert, too. I could bring you a nightcap while you take a shower. Whiskey, bourbon… I could even have some Irish cream myself and join you.

I’d rather not drink this late. I’ve got a really early start tomorrow, he said, sitting on the mattress, his back to her.

Natalie felt her husband slipping through her fingers, and she didn’t like it at all. He continued their short conversation as he unbuttoned his shirt. I’ll just shower and go to bed. You should do the same, sweetheart.

Natalie crawled across the bed on her knees to reach for the collar of his custom-made dress shirt and pulled it down off his shoulders. Andrik exhaled when his skin was bare, and Natalie placed her small hands on his back. Delicately, she massaged his neck, doing her best to release some of the tension in his shoulders. To her surprise, he actually allowed her to take care of him, which distracted her from her original mission. Now, she thought of where this massage might lead tonight.

She missed her husband—physically. Maybe the distance she felt between them was just due to their dry spell. Maybe by initiating a sensual moment, everything would be better. Maybe talking wasn’t the answer, and they needed to make love instead.

With that in mind, Natalie moved her delicate hands down his shoulders and arms, placing her lips on the taut skin of his neck. Her mouth left a wet trail of kisses as she tended to his tense muscles, and she felt Andrik relax under her warm ministrations. It gave her the encouragement she needed.

For the first time in months, she slid her hands down his chest and felt the definition of muscles beneath her fingertips—the light patch of hair guiding her touch down his stomach. Her breasts firmly pressed against his back, and the sensation of his bare skin against her thin satin nightgown made her nipples harden in excitement. As she pressed her lips to his neck, her hands slid farther down to first unbuckle his belt, then unfasten his pants.

Natalie, stop, Andrik said softly. I told you I’m tired. He grabbed her hand and placed it on the bed next to him. Even though he didn’t let go of it, it was enough of a rejection to stop her.

"I know, honey. But I thought I could kiss you for a little. You know, make you feel good and help you relax. They’d been married for six years, but she was still too shy to tell her husband she wanted to suck him dry, as Laura would have put it. She wanted nothing more than to please her husband and in doing so also find her own pleasure. You don’t have to do anything. I’ll do all the work."

It’s unnecessary, Natalie. I don’t feel like it tonight.

Or any other night, she thought. Natalie couldn’t remember the last time her husband had been inside her in any way. I just thought… Maybe you and I could… We haven’t done it for a while, Andrik. I thought it would be nice to make love tonight.

I’m sorry, baby. I’m too tired for sex. Andrik’s words made her throat tighten. But I could fool around a bit and make you come quickly if you want.

Being fingered for a quickie just so he could go to sleep that much faster held no appeal at all. Natalie wanted her husband, wanted the relationship they had before Ella was born, before she got pregnant. Then she realized that the last time they’d had quality sex was the night they’d conceived Ella. Had bearing and birthing his child erase any attraction he’d had for her before?

As if on cue, their baby girl started crying, her voice blaring through the monitor. I guess Ella needs you, Natalie. He sounded tired, even if his body seemed completely awake. I’ll take a shower while you’re with her, and I’ll try to stay up until you get back.

Natalie felt cold after he stood up from the bed they shared every night. His warmth had left her again, and there was nothing she could do about it—unless she decided to let Ella cry herself back to sleep. Then she could join her husband in the shower to show him how much she really wanted him—needed him. But she couldn’t do that to his daughter, and he’d made it perfectly clear how uninterested he was in her.

She walked to the baby’s room, where Ella sat in her crib, crying. Her daughter immediately raised her hand as she saw her mother approach, making it perfectly clear how much she needed her. Natalie went to her and whispered a few sweet, motherly words. She pulled Ella out of the crib and carried her to the fancy rocking chair in the opposite corner of the room. The baby still cried with her mother’s arms around her, perhaps still reliving a bad dream.

Everything will be fine, baby girl. There’s no need to cry. Daddy and I will make sure that nothing ever hurts you.

She didn’t believe her own words for a second. She had no doubt about their ability to care for their daughter, but lately, she doubted they would do it together.

As she comforted her little girl back to sleep in her arms, Natalie cried.

Chapter 3

Boston, Massachusetts. Seven years, three months ago.

Every time my boyfriend slept over, I woke up sore and aching—everywhere. Part of me felt it was wrong to enjoy it, but at that point in my life, I really did. I thought it was the way I should feel, because I had someone in my life who was so crazy about me, he needed to have me all night long in every possible way. I felt loved and sexy. We’d made it our mission to try all the positions in the Kamasutra. The simple things like me straddling him, missionary-style sex, or even sensual spooning weren’t ever used until the morning after. No, this guy liked it hard and rough, especially taking me from behind.

I was so young.

He took me to Ocean Prime on Seaport Boulevard, his favorite steak and seafood restaurant. That night, he wasn’t interested in ordering any Filet Mignon. Instead, he told me to blow him in the car while he fingered me. My panties were so drenched afterwards, I had to leave them behind and felt self-conscious all dinner long, knowing I was naked under a very short dress. Dinner could have been better if everything hadn’t tasted like cum. But I was happy. Truly happy. Because he was proud of me. Because he liked me nasty. Because he loved me.

Or I thought he did.

As soon as we got back to my apartment, he bent me over the couch and took me from behind. He enjoyed the little frisky show I gave him, with my ass up in the air and my tits popping out of the neckline of my dress. My pleasure was a priority for him too, even if he wasn’t gentle. I’d never come so hard with anyone until he fucked me. Almost all our nights together ended with me on my knees and his dick in my mouth. He almost always controlled the act too, deciding how hard and how fast, how long until he was finished. I tried to make sure he had all the pleasure he wanted from me, and I never had a problem with him coming all over me like he always wanted—as long as I didn’t get any in my eyes.

That had been our relationship since we’d started dating. I was so in love with him. I felt desired and wanted, and this was the way I always wanted to feel. Plus, all the exercise made me the slimmest I’d ever been. That was why I didn’t mind feeling sore. That was why I didn’t mind him being a little controlling. Because I thought life couldn’t get any better.

My phone rang and woke me up a little before noon. I didn’t usually sleep in that much, but the night before had left me sore and spent. Hello?

Hey, Kassie. It’s Natalie.

Hey, Nat. My voice was still raspy with sleep. I looked to the other side of the bed, noticing only his blond hair as he lay facing away from me.

How are you?

I was still in bed, naked and sore. The duvet lay on top of us, covering our bodies and protecting them from the cold. Asleep. You?

I’m sorry! Did I wake you up?

Yep, I whispered, not wanting to wake him up.

Isn’t it noon in Boston?

Isn’t it too early in L.A.? I was being bitchy, and I knew it. I needed to get up soon, but building up the energy was going to take longer than normal.

It’s a bit after eight o’clock here. I thought it was okay to call you with the time difference.

It’s Saturday, Nat.

There was a small pause on the other line. She knew I’d always been an early riser, and I couldn’t blame her for assuming I’d be awake. I’ll call you later, then, she said. Or you could call me when you’re fully awake.

Don’t be silly, Nat. You have me on the phone already. What’s up? I glanced around the bedroom for some clothes but couldn’t find anything I could easily grab and put on. That only made me want to stay in bed longer. It was the middle of January, and we’d had a mean winter so far. Even when I kept the heater on, I couldn’t stand how chilly it would be if I left the warmth of the bed completely naked.

You won’t believe this, Nat said, but I’m getting married! I could almost see her jumping up and down in excitement on the other side of the line.

Oh, shut up! I’d completely forgotten about trying to keep quiet at that point. "Is it that older man you’re dating? The