The Art and Science of Dating: Use These Suggestions, Methods, and Tools to Get the Relationship with the Man You Want
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About this ebook
If youre looking for a better approach to dating, then this guidebook on finding and keeping the right man may have the answers you need.
Shido of Sukhavati, a longtime researcher of men, women, and relationships, provides solutions to your dating problems. Learn what men really want, and also discover how to
motivate men to do what you want; understand what men want; pursue and evaluate men; be a good friend before being a lover.Once you find the right man, you can learn ways to cultivate a loving relationshipincluding in the bedroom, where you can apply proven methods to enjoy sexual thrills beyond your imagination.
Written with adult women in mind, this guidebook seeks to help you find a satisfying relationship with the best available man. Get a relationship with the man you want!
Shido of Sukhavati
Shido used the opportunity of professional life and simultaneous formal education to compress several lifetimes in his single life. Shido succeeded as a physicist, engineer, administrator, father, husband, and investor. He then succeeded as a Zen monk. He used his approach to complex problem solving to extend the capability of the art and science of Feng Shui.
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The Art and Science of Dating - Shido of Sukhavati
Copyright © 2012 by Shido of Sukhavati.
Author Credits: Sukhavati School
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
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Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
ISBN: 978-1-4759-0177-1 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4759-0178-8 (ebk)
iUniverse rev. date: 03/23/2012
CONTENTS
DISCLAIMER
INTRODUCTION
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
DISCLAIMER
As a condition for reading this book, or experimenting with the ideas provided herein, you agree that you are solely responsible for the good or bad results that occur. If you do not agree then you are forbidden to read this book and you will give it to someone else. This book, the author and the publisher do not claim this is valuable medical nor physical body nor legal nor psychological nor religious nor financial nor any other kind of advice. Each reader will use this book in a different way which cannot be anticipated. Meeting people, dating, partnering, accompanying, and marrying are serious events and can result in good benefits or in bad troubles in consequence to your speech, or actions. All results are your fault and your glory. You are liable for the consequences, for the resulting damages, for the excellent experiences, for the bad feelings, and the good feelings. You are responsible for enjoying the excellent results and the distasteful results. You are responsible for making whole anyone you damage and for taking the credit for all the good you spread. You are responsible for curing yourself for all emotional, mental or any other kind of consequential damage. You are solely the winner of all the wealth you create. You are solely the loser of any wealth you lose due the risk you take. You are responsible for any threat or compliment you receive. Your life is separate from, and not connected in any way to the lives of the author and the publisher.
The author and the publisher are not liable for any good or bad consequences whether they are mental, emotional, financial, psychological, bodily, or medical. Each reader will create a different and un-knowable achievement or failure based on reading this book. Each reader will have different expectations and different understanding of the language suggested in this book.
INTRODUCTION
WHY I WROTE THIS BOOK
I know your emptiness, the vacuum of your loneliness, and your instinctual need to relate to other people. You may have other reasons for reading this book. I am giving this book to you because of my compassion when I see, hear, and sense women suffering. I know how much you need to connect with another person. But you are not finding appropriate men. I spent hundreds of hours writing the lessons and researching books which I recommend in this book.
I began to focus on comprehension of women and dating at an early age. As a man fascinated, maybe addicted, to women I have dated hundreds of women. Therefore, I have accumulated an understanding the problems women have with men. This is based on a diverse sample size. The fundamental problem women have is that they do not realize that men are different from women in almost everything. But there are many other problems, some of which are the same problems men have in finding and stabilizing a connection with an appropriate woman.
Since I am educated, a successful physicist, and a professional engineer, I applied scientific methods to understand women and to guide women to the men who are appropriate. I formulated many trial solutions, researched the conditions, experimented with various women, and framed valid conclusions. Then I started over with new guesses and continued my research. Incidental to experimenting with women, I gained knowledge of the many misperceptions and self deceptions women have. I am advising you of the solutions to problems with dating and relating that women have. These are the solutions which I have observed in successful women. These methods are what many men prefer to experience when relating to women.
Later, I became a Buddhist monk. Buddhist expressions of connection with other people are defined as loving kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity. As a Buddhist monk, I have not yet achieved the great perfections; so I remain addicted to women. I am giving this book to you as an expression of loving kindness because of my compassion when I see and hear women suffering.
All I ask is that you tell your friends to buy this book to pay my time and expenses of writing and research. This book is a safe place. This is your gift for being disconnected. This is your gift for being honest enough to learn how to be a friend and a date and a spouse. Please pass on the title of this book to people you meet.
WHY YOU CAN BELIEVE THIS ADVICE WILL LEAD YOU TO A SATISFYING RELATIONSHIP
I am a man who has experimented with women more than 30 years. I am advising you on the ways I have observed in successful women I have known. I am also informing you of solutions to dating problems which I have observed in women. After pondering about the troubles women have, I wrote about what many, not all, men would like to experience with women.
WHAT MAKES ME THINK THAT I, A MAN, CAN TEACH AN ACCOMPLISHED WOMAN LIKE YOU HOW TO HAVE THE DATES YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED WITH MEN WHO ARE UP TO YOUR STANDARDS?
Simple! I know what men want. And I know women who succeed in finding good men who are worth dating. Do you think that all men know what men want? No! Men complain a lot about women but they do not understand women. Nor do men know what they themselves want (besides sexual experience). So men cannot usually suggest improvements in women’s dating habits. However, I know what men want and I understand women. I provide you with this depth of information. Also, I am giving you methods I discovered in books. I experimented for 30 years, trial and error, study and practice, to learn what I am giving you.
What makes my knowledge different from other men’s? I have dated hundreds of women because I am delighted with women. I am in touch with my feelings. I know you are lonely, or need to talk, to tell your secrets, to confide your troubles, or some other need. I know because I meet women (and men) almost every day who open up to me and pour out their hearts to me. It takes me about 20 seconds to create this loving and safe atmosphere for a woman. Men take a little longer to trust me.
Now I am way over 40 years old. I am plain looking. I am 20 pounds overweight. I look my age. If you saw me, you would not be interested in saying hello to me. That proves how unreliable age, weight, and looks are. You limit yourself by judging a man by looks, age, or even weight. Women in their twenties and older open up to me. (Adolescent girls do not relate to me at all). It is not my fit body nor my distinctive clothes that melts these women’s hearts. They melt because I know what I am doing. So in 20 seconds, these women are on the perfect date. They open their hearts, and for a while they feel relief. They realize there is another dimension to relating to a man. That is a beginning of the art and science of dating for them. This is how I learned so much about what women want and how little they know about men.
You could find friends like me easily if you study the suggestions in this book and experiment with them. This book has the point of view of women who attract and enjoy the dates they want and also women who have not yet succeeded.
I wrote this book because I feel compassion, and sadness when I see many couples. Most couples obviously signal that they are not in harmony. I am giving you this advice because I have met so many couples that I suspect have grossly inadequate relationships. I am certain that most sexual encounters are poorly done. Most sexual action is inexcusable, little more than a bump in the night.
I want to save you the time and the devastating feelings you suffer. I am giving you an opportunity to avoid he disappointment that can result in the loss of your lover due to an infantile and ignorant sexual event. These are the losses that you would experience if you had to discover the information in the book through trial and error. It is clear that most of you are miserable. I listened you trying too hard to pretend you liked some guy. But the guy knew very little about women and love. I suspected you thought he was inadequate. I observed men who were not interested in their wives—even magnificently attractive and intelligent wives. Other people, not just I, could also read your forced smile, your tortured body movements that betray your yearning for absorption in love making. That is why I feel the compassion to help you.
If you want, you can see the married partners completely ignoring each other. Look closely. You can notice these incompatible couples. You might be able to observe the unsatisfied couples from all the way across the street. You can read their desperation to feel love for each other. They have given up trying to get attention. They do not even know how to listen. You will feel sad, too.
I see the young men and women on the first date. The man is talking on the cell phone. The woman is tuned to her iPod. They do not know how to have a spirited conversation. They are disconnected. At the same time, they are lonely. They feel isolated and want to connect. So they use their electronic gadgets to connect with someone far away.
My heart is breaking as I observe your unmet needs. I cannot stand it any more. I have to help you. Since I am educated, a successful physicist, and a professional engineer, I applied scientific methods to understanding women and to guiding women to the men who are appropriate.
An appropriate man is one who is available and who meets most of your desired features. All men have undesirable features, just as all women have negative features. A man who you think is perfect may be married or he may live in another country or something, so he is not available. A wild and exciting lover may change into a horrible philanderer and completely ignore you after you have settled into living together. So the most appropriate man is one who is predictable in the long run; not just next week. Have the courage to face the truth.
Apply the suggestions in this book to have terrific dates that lead to long term relationships or fulfilling partnerships. You will learn so much that you will wonder how you ever had a decent date before. You will realize why your relationships were so frustrating and short lived. Dating and working on a long term relationship are complex processes. Dating may be the most complicated experience that you will ever be a part of. A long term relationship requires steady work, mostly on your own imperfections. The answers to your questions, the depth of advice you need is waiting for you in this book.
Since you are reading this book, you are obviously ready to assert your willpower to study and to persist in the experiments required for successful mating and companionship for the long term.
Would it be nice to have a lover with whom you feel completely whole and strong?
You would feel like a valuable treasure—respected, admired, loved.
Totally connected.
Excited when you are together.
At your best.
Perhaps you could think as one person.
Would you like a man whom you could convince that you are right?
A man with whom you seem to agree on everything?
A man you can easily influence?
EIGHT SUGGESTIONS TO TAKE YOU TO THIS
PERFECT LOVER, FRIEND, PARTNER, OR SPOUSE
1. Study this book. Use These Suggestions, Methods, and Tools to Get the Relationship with the Man You Want.
Browse this book until you find something you want to learn.
2. Invest your time in the book today and every day.
3. Memorize a skill that you can use on the day you are reading.
4. Immediately try out the new skill or knowledge on different people face-to-face. Try it on strangers.
5. If you do not get the result you want, change something and try it again. For example, you could change to a different man to try out the skill.
6. Keep doing this until you get the right results.
8. Go back to step 3. And keep this up until you can successfully use all the methods suggested in the book. So keep reading and take action as suggested today.
Do you agree that after you follow suggestions 1 to 8, that you will have a superior lover or friend or partner or spouse? You will be able to experiment with new ways to make friends. You can experiment safely where no one will reject you or laugh at you. Would that work for you? These suggestions will be precious because they will improve your social life. They will open up opportunities for your happiness with other people. Make the effort to learn because there is so much to learn. There is hope because you can learn what you need here in this book. By the time you finish reading this book, you will admit how little you knew before. By then, you will know almost everything you need to know. Soon you will be ready to learn these vital things.
Delightful dating
Connecting deeply with men
Sexual fulfillment beyond your imagination
Outstanding relationships with men
How to find a marriage partner
How to have a marriage that lasts because it is based on a foundation of satisfaction.
You will learn what to do, how to know the right things to say, and how to have a positive attitude to win. You can learn in a step-by-step process. You can teach yourself directly from this book.
Start right here!
Right now!
Now is when you will learn everything you will need to know about mating, sex, and relationships. Or you will learn where to find the help you need. You may even learn everything