Until Your Prodigal Comes Home: Encouragement Along the Way

Copyright © 2017 Irene Bennett.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

1 (866) 928-1240

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

ISBN: 978-1-5127-6791-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-6792-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-6790-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016920248

WestBow Press rev. date: 06/05/2017

Contents

Foreword

Acknowledgments

Our Story

1    Help…My Child Is a Prodigal!

2    Keep Your Eyes Upon Jesus

3    Wait in Peace

4    Live with Courage and Conviction

5    Invite God to Strengthen Your Family

6    Fight for Your Prodigal’s Heart

7    Let God’s Promises Anchor Your Hope

8    Focus on the Big Picture

And Such Were Some of You

Appendix

Foreword

For more than fifteen years, I’ve had the privilege of working alongside Irene Bennett as we serve the Lord together in ministry. I’m still amazed each day by her seemingly inexhaustible wellspring of love, concern, and compassionate care for every individual with whom she speaks—whether it be a brokenhearted mother calling the ministry after her daughter has just announced that she is gay and no longer believes in God, or a grandfather she meets at a church where we are ministering who has been devastated by the recent discovery that his only grandson is in a homosexual relationship.

I have honestly never met anyone who handles a very demanding schedule with more grace than Irene does. She successfully manages a household that includes a husband, two kids, her mother, and a very needy Toy Maltese dog…while conveying to each individual who reaches out to her for help that she has all the time in the world to listen. The name Irene means peace; anyone who has ever had the opportunity to speak with Irene in person or over the phone can testify that it’s a name which fits her perfectly. Time and time again, the Lord has used her to minister encouragement to someone who desperately needs it in just the right way and at just the right time.

Besides being an incredible listener, encourager, and edifier, Irene is also a phenomenal communicator. She loves the Word of God and studies it daily. As you might imagine, there is a lot of confusing information out there on the gay issue. Irene takes a healthy and balanced approach to the homosexual issue. Whether she is speaking with an individual, to a church group, or in a media setting, she always does a superb job of presenting the unbiased and untainted biblical truth about homosexuality while offering compassionate, practical help.

I have to say, Irene’s God-given gift of encouragement has been instrumental in my life as well. As a former homosexual man myself, I’m grateful that Irene prayed for me for several years until I came to Christ, and then she became a friend who walked alongside me as a new believer and encouraged me through the Word of God. In fact, we became such good friends that I didn’t want to let her go—so I married her!

My wife graciously set aside her career as an art director, along with all of her dreams and aspirations to be an artist, in order to follow the Lord’s calling to dedicate herself to ministry to distraught parents, grandparents, spouses, family members, and friends—people just like you—who have a homosexual prodigal loved one. Irene walks alongside these folks as they watch and pray for that day when their prodigal’s eyes, ears, and heart will be opened and their loved one will turn to Jesus and experience the transformation He offers.

I am a bit partisan, for sure, but let me say this: I trust that the book you are about to read can—and I pray, will—strengthen your heart and guide your steps in your own situation. May my wonderful and godly wife—Irene Bennett—and this anointed book, Until Your Prodigal Comes Home: Encouragement Along the Way, be used by the Lord to greatly bless and encourage you!

Much love in Christ,

Stephen J. Bennett

Founder and Executive Director

SBM Worldwide, Inc. and The Parents Group

Acknowledgments

Special Thanks

Thank you to the W’s…you know who you are. Your loving support reminds me that God is for me—it has fueled my resolve to press forward and serve God in this ministry no matter what challenges I face. I love and appreciate both of you so very much!

# # #

Thank You, Lord, for My Editor

When I finished writing my book, I asked the Lord to provide an editor who could help me prepare the manuscript for the publisher. Of course, I prayed He would send someone who possesses excellent editing skills, but I also wanted to work with a Christian who has a good understanding of Scripture and Bible doctrine…and it would be a bonus if my editor could also be someone who is familiar with the LGBT issue.

About a week after my prayer, my husband, Stephen, received a ministry call from a woman named Janet. She had heard Stephen on a radio broadcast during which he shared his testimony and then answered some of the sticky questions parents of homosexuals often ask. The next day, Janet visited our ministry website. As she read a page written especially for parents, she came to the phrase, call now; she told us later that those words jumped out at her…she immediately stopped reading and called SBM to seek support and get her own questions answered. That day, Stephen answered Janet’s questions, prayed with her, and assured her that we would be here for her.

The second time Janet spoke with Stephen, as they were concluding their conversation, she said, I know this may sound strange…but your website could use an editor’s touch. Stephen’s jaw dropped! He told Janet that I had just finished writing a book and that we were praying the Lord would send us a volunteer editor.

The next day, I called Janet and quickly discerned that she was a woman of great faith. As she shared her testimony about some of the trials she has endured and God’s faithful work in her life, it became clear to me that the Lord has refined her as silver. Then, at just the right time, He arranged all the details for a divine appointment that would bring us together to work on this book. The Lord answered my prayer for an editor quickly and in a wonderfully unexpected way. As a bonus, He sent me a mother who represents the book’s target audience!

Janet lives almost halfway across the country from our ministry location, but because she had been using technology to do volunteer editing from home for some local ministries, she already knew that she and I could work together in spite of our geographical separation.

The blessings were mutual—after Janet visited by phone with one of the parents who is part of our support ministry, she told me it was the first time she had spoken with another parent of a homosexual child in all the years since her son came out. Since then, Janet has been able to connect with many other parents of LGBT children through our support ministry.

# # #

In a nutshell, that’s the story of how the Lord connected me with Janet, my editor…and now, Janet, I want to thank you.

• Thank you for the endless hours you worked to edit this book, often working into the night. I will always fondly remember reading the send times on emails I received from you…12:00 a.m., 1:00 a.m., even 2:00 a.m. or later a time or two!

• Thank you for the days you spent praying and waiting on God, trusting that He would reveal just what was needed—what to leave in, what to take out, and what to add. Your insight as the mother of a homosexual man has been invaluable as we brainstormed ideas and made decisions about what content would be most helpful to the parents who will seek encouragement through this book.

• Thank you for using your organizational skills to help me arrange and rearrange chapters, sections, headers, and subheaders in a way that would make this book Clear, Concise, Complete, Correct, Consistent, and Compelling (all those Cs of Writing you kept reminding me to consider). I appreciate that you set such a high standard of excellence for this project.

• Thank you, too, for your upbeat attitude—when I ask how you are, you often reply, On a scale of one to ten, I’m an eleven! Sometimes you say, "I’m soaring!" (My dear readers, you will soon discover the meaning behind that declaration!)

• Oh yes, thank you for sending the laundry folder…you already know that Stephen loves using it to create neatly-folded piles of shirts, and now I have learned to use it and love it as well!

Finally, Janet, I have especially treasured our growing friendship—the many times we have prayed together, laughed together, cried together, or simply taken time to enjoy a nice long talk. As we wrap up our work on this book, I still marvel at how the Lord worked out every detail to prepare each of us and then bring us together at just the right time. He knew we would be the right fit to get this task done. I am so very grateful that He chose you, Janet, to be the editor of this book…and my dear friend.

Our Story

I was born again in my early twenties when Wayne, a Christian coworker, led me to Christ. That life-changing event occurred in 1987 while I was working at Presentation Graphics, which was the art department within an aerospace company called Textron-Lycoming in Stratford, Connecticut. The plant manufactured tank and plane engines which were sold to the United States government and its allies. The art department designed visual presentations for meetings and conferences held all over the world.

If you’ve ever lived in the Northeast, particularly New England, you’ll understand just how unlikely it would be to find an office setting in that region of the country where everyone was a Christian, but that was my experience. The Lord encouraged me during those first days of my walk with Him by surrounding me with a community of believers who were my colleagues in that art department. When I look back and remember how well we all got along, it’s obvious to me that the Lord brought all of us together. Even under the pressure of tight deadlines and copious amounts of work, we always remained joyful and friendly toward one another.

While we worked, we talked about the Lord; it was almost like going to a daily Bible study. Wayne was the eldest of the group, a seasoned Christian who had been a believer longer than anyone else in our office. Although I didn’t recognize it at the time, I later realized that Wayne filled the role of mentor for me during those early years in my walk with Jesus. That special relationship continued until people in the company started receiving pink slips, which eventually led to the closing of the entire plant and the disbanding of our close-knit group.

I cherish the memories made in that large art room and hold dear the biblical truths which were embedded in my heart during that time. Wayne was exactly the type of person I needed as a role model in the beginning of my Christian life. He passionately wanted to know and serve Jesus and had great faith and wisdom, yet he was wonderfully and completely his own eccentric, artistic self.

Wayne taught me through example that the Lord had made me a unique creation—that both my body and my personality were His handiwork. I learned that my old ways of thinking, which were according to the world’s standards, were unfruitful, even dangerous. Instead, I could now choose to follow Jesus and live a new life. I found great freedom and joy in knowing I could be myself while trusting the indwelling Holy Spirit to give me the power to live a holy life.

I learned that I could go to the Lord with every problem and burden, a truth I desperately needed to know because I was twenty-three years old and suffering with bulimia. My physician had told me there was no cure—he said that I would battle the eating disorder all my life. But after I shared my secret sin with my new Christian friends, they helped by making me accountable. Jesus had provided a safe, judgment-free environment where I could talk about and begin to resolve the feelings that had driven me to binge and purge instead of continuing to act upon them.

Around that same time, I met an older Christian woman in the company who told me she used to be an alcoholic. She said that she would wake up every morning with an uncontrollable urge to pour herself a drink. That drink was only the first in her daily ritual of drinking herself into oblivion. But she said that the morning after she prayed to receive Jesus Christ and was saved, she didn’t pour her usual morning drink; in fact, she never touched alcohol again! She told me it was entirely the Lord’s doing.

Since three of my uncles were alcoholics, I was fully aware of the bondage and devastation that sin could cause. Hearing that woman’s testimony energized my new-found faith by giving me hope for my own deliverance from bulimia. For the first time in my life, I was seeing God’s power. This experience made me confident that the Lord could set anyone free from anything. Although it took years for me, I was eventually delivered from the grip of the eating disorder.

Praying for a Husband

Accepting Jesus as my Savior put me on the right path, and I was determined to stay there. I was finished with making my own decisions and bearing the costly consequences they brought. The next important step in my life would be to marry a godly man who loved the Lord. Wayne explained that a man who loved the Lord and sought Him above all else would be someone who would obey God’s command to be a good husband and father. This convinced me to let God choose my husband for me.

I began to kneel beside my bed each night and ask God to bring me a godly man. Quite unexpectedly, though, night after night the Holy Spirit laid a strong burden on me to pray fervently for my future husband’s protection, health, and life. Sometimes I prayed with tears streaming down my cheeks because I felt my future husband was in imminent danger, although I had no idea exactly what kind of danger that might be.

As a new Christian, I had never experienced a prayer leading like that. It was powerful—the need was urgent! Yet I was clueless about the cause of my future husband’s peril. Naturally, I speculated about what his profession might be. Maybe he was a fireman, a policeman, or in the military on a dangerous mission. I wondered whether he was saved yet and prayed for his salvation. I decided that until the Lord revealed the answers, I would just keep on praying and trusting God to bring him to me.

Meanwhile, Back at Work

One of my new priorities became praying for the unsaved. Kathy, one of the Christians I worked with at Presentation Graphics, shared an equal desire to see her friends and loved ones saved. One day, she asked me to pray with her for the salvation of her friend, Stephen. She told me that Stephen lived as a homosexual man, that he was like a brother to her, and that she deeply cared about him. Even though I didn’t know him, I became committed to praying for Stephen’s salvation.

Kathy and I took advantage of our Wednesday lunch breaks to intercede for Stephen as well as for many of our other unsaved friends and relatives. We told people about our new weekly prayer meeting, and soon other Christians in our company joined us. It was wonderful to see people showing up each time, but we had only half an hour to pray. We decided that each of us would lift up three people, an arrangement that gave everyone a chance to pray. Stephen was one of Kathy’s three.

One afternoon, Kathy came over to my desk to tell me she had begun witnessing to Stephen over the phone, but now she felt the Lord wanted her to go to his house to share the gospel with him. At that time, Stephen and his partner had been living together for three years. I was impressed with Kathy’s courage and her determination to clearly share the truth with Stephen. Since his partner would most likely be home when she visited, we prayed that both men would be open to hearing the salvation message.

That weekend, Kathy knocked on Stephen’s door, and he welcomed her into his home. As soon as his partner saw her, he moved to the other side of the house. However, Stephen allowed Kathy to speak freely. Even though he became a bit annoyed with what she had to say, he listened to all of it and even accepted a Bible from her. While Stephen didn’t agree with what Kathy shared, she was nevertheless able to sow precious seeds into his heart through the power of God’s Word.

Never Giving Up

Although Stephen did not respond to the gospel that day, Kathy and I pressed on with hope because we knew what God could do in his life. We continued to pray for him even after leaving Presentation Graphics and our weekly prayer meetings. Kathy also continued to witness to Stephen whenever she had the chance.

I must admit that while things looked promising at times, at other times they seemed hopeless. In fact, Stephen often expressed hostility toward the gospel. He and Kathy would occasionally have a disagreement, then not speak to each other for a long time. It seemed to us that Stephen would take three steps forward and two steps back.

An encouraging forward step came about when Kathy invited Stephen to a Christian singles group we attended at a local church. I remember waiting eagerly to finally meet Stephen, but at the same time not feeling convinced he would show up. To my delight, he did come as he’d said he would. Kathy introduced Stephen to me and a few other people, then the praise and worship time began. Stephen joined right in and sang with us, something I would never have expected. Later, we broke into small groups to study the Bible.

Afterwards, a group of us decided to get a snack at the diner, and Stephen agreed to come with us. Kathy, Stephen, another one of our friends, and I all sat in the same booth. As I talked with Stephen and got to know him better, I found him to be very intriguing. He was witty and laughed at all my jokes. I also noticed that he dipped his French fries in brown gravy, which I’d never seen anyone do before. We laughed a lot that night and had a great time.

At the end of the evening, we walked outside together. It was late spring, and the night air was warm. Summer was right around the corner, and I felt excited about being young and knowing Jesus. As I walked down the diner stairs, I speculated about what God would do next in our lives. After saying goodbye to my friends, both new and old, I watched Stephen drive away in his black Firebird.

That was a night of firsts for me. It was the first time I met Stephen. I could now put a face to the prayers I said for him. It was the first time I ever knowingly met a person who identified as homosexual. And it was the first time I had met a guy and thought to myself, Hmm, even if I liked him, he would never like me. Not that I thought every man would be interested in me, I just thought it strange that it was not even a possibility. After all, Stephen was single, had a great personality, and was only a year older than I was. I think at that moment God must have been saying, O ye of little faith!

I would not see Stephen again for almost two years, but Kathy spoke with him periodically and filled me in on what was happening in his life. It didn’t seem to us that he was any closer to getting saved than he had been when she first witnessed to him. He and Kathy continued to have their disagreements as before, but they were discussing Scripture more and more.

Change was taking place—we just couldn’t see it because it was happening in Stephen’s heart. One day in January of 1992, Kathy called to say that Stephen had prayed with her on the phone and received Jesus as his Savior. It was the Lord who broke through to him, and it took place in His perfect timing. We were thrilled and ready to do everything we could to help Stephen get grounded in Scripture and find a good church.

Our Life Together Begins

It was at this time that I learned Stephen had moved back in with his parents, whose home was located only a few minutes from mine. We started spending a lot of time together and quickly became good friends. We got along really well and had a lot in common, including being artists and loving to laugh. Beyond doubt, and most important of all, we shared a deep desire to serve God with all of our hearts. We spent hours together just talking about the Lord. It seemed that time flew by whenever I was with Stephen.

After a few months of enjoying our growing friendship, Stephen asked me on a date. This led to the most amazing conversation over dinner. Stephen candidly shared with me that, through the years, he had been with other men sexually who had since died from AIDS. Then it hit me all at once! I told Stephen I had been praying for a long time for my future husband’s health and protection and for God to not let him die. I shared with him that if he were the one who would one day become my husband, then all of my prayers would now make complete sense! During all that time when I was pleading before the throne of God for my future husband’s life, Stephen was engaging in dangerous sexual activity with other homosexual men. My future husband wasn’t a fireman, a policeman, or in the military—he was a homosexual! To say we were in awe of the Lord’s providence would be an understatement!

We decided that going forward, we would ask God for His leading for our future together. I really liked Stephen, and the feeling was mutual. Our relationship bloomed as we continued to spend all of our free time together. The fact is, we were falling in love with one another. On Christmas Eve 1992, after only three months of dating, Stephen asked me to marry him. After taking some