Gossip Girl : According To The Catholic Church, Mortal Sin Can Only Be Absolved Through The Sacred Act

Of Confession, But It Looks Like A Certain W.A.S.P. Princess Has Recently Found Herself Desperately In Need Of A Little Unburdening. And Who Is The Man Upstairs To Discriminate?

Forgive Me, Father, For I Have Sinned. It's Been A While Since My Last Confession. After Being Broken Up With My Boyfriend For Exactly 20 Minutes, I Succumbed To Inebriation, Performed At A Speakeasy And Surrendered My Virtue To A Self-Absorbed Ass. The Only Good News Is That He's A Total Pig Who Will Act Like It Never Happened. Thank God. Ahem. Sorry. Truthfully, I'm Not Even Catholic. But Losing My Virginity To Chuck Bass? None Of My Friends Will Ever Understand. I'm Ready For My Punishment. Whatever You And God Think Is Fair- Flogging, Fasting, Putting That Thing With The Teeth Around My Thigh, Like Silas. Or maybe Ill just try to not drink and keep my clothes on and try avoiding those who might cause me to stray. Anyway, thank You, Father. It Was Very Good Advice. You Don't Grant Birthday Wishes, Do You? Well, The Next Time You Talk To God, Would You Ask Him To Send My Boyfriend Back To Me? Mm. Oh my god. Someone just leaked my diary to Gossip Girl. Status report people. Penelope social suicide watch. Since The Met's not gonna be happy. Make a donation. Also include the ballet, opera. Skip M-O-M-A Tim Burton isn't art. I stand by that statement. Jessica, you are on restaurants.

I need to be able to eat in this town again. Start by apologizing at per se and work your way down to Boulud Sud. Kati, regarding fashion, tell Diane that when I said her wraps looked like they were for falafels, that I meant it as a compliment. What could be more interesting than saving my future? (takes cell phone) My past. This is all Serena's fault! She said she would fix it. She just made it worse. Go. No. Not you. I have a new task for you. I'll manage matters of my heart. You find every secret Serena has. I need the best one, to destroy her. I just hope Chuck and Nate don't see this.