Вы находитесь на странице: 1из 74

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

Principessa
An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

EPOV
A/N: This was written solely for fun and should be taken lightly. Ive taken some creative license on certain details, so keep that in mind. It takes place after the epilogue of EP (The Alec novella I wrote thats posted on fanfiction.net falls somewhere within this range, too). With that said, I hope you enjoy it and thank you for helping such a worthy cause. ~*~

The Part in Which I Can't Keep My Fucking Mouth Shut (what else is new?)
I fidgeted anxiously in the stiff brown chair, shifting position in an attempt to get comfortable. The air in the room was thick, like a fucking fog was rolling in, and it made it hard to take a deep breath. I had this ridiculous urge to get up and run, wanting to get the hell out of there, but I knew I couldnt. I had to stay. When I was a teenager, probably around seventeen, I had this nightmare that I was trapped in a room. Surrounding me were all of the girls Id had sex with in my life and there was no way out, all of the exits blocks. I was backed into a corner as they descended upon me, angry at me for fucking them and never looking back. The closer they got, the larger they grew, their stomachs swelling with each step they took. I was frantic as they shouted my name, the sound of babies crying filling the air.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

No matter how much I tried, I couldnt wake myself up. I hunched down in the corner, squeezing my eyes shut and yelling for it to stop, but the bitches wouldn't go away. They kept multiplying and with them, so did the babies. There were fucking dozens of them, filling the room and suffocating me. I finally woke up, screaming, sweating and in a panic. It took awhile for me to calm down and I made myself a promise that morning...no, I made myself three promises. One, I would never -- and I mean never -- have sex without a condom. That shit was dangerous. Two, I wouldn't have children. They were fucking scary. And three, I would stay as far away from pregnant bitches as humanly possible. They were fucking crazy. But as I sat there in that chair, fidgeting, I realized I'd broken them all for her. Not only had we had sex without a condom, but I'd gotten her pregnant and now... now I was surrounded by pregnant bitches. What the fuck had I gotten myself into? A hand grasped onto my knee tightly, stopping my leg from bouncing. I glanced at Isabella and saw she was eyeing me strangely, almost like I was crazy. I wasn't, though. No, I knew crazy. I lived with crazy. She was fucking crazy. "Are you okay?" she asked. "You're not having a panic attack are you?" "No," I said defensively. I was lying. I was on the verge of hyperventilating, the blood rushing through my body so fast it felt like something was crawling on me. I wanted to rip my fucking skin off just to make it stop. We were sitting in the waiting room of the Las Vegas Women's Clinic, waiting to see the doctor for Isabella's 20-week check-up. It was the first one I'd gone to, but not from lack of trying. Between work bullshit and her insisting she didn't need me to hold her hand and walk her through everything, I hadn't really been there for most of the technical shit. Technical shit... I didn't even know what the fuck that meant. Was there even technical shit? Women had been having babies since the beginning of time without all the fancy shit, like doctors and hospitals and drugs. Drugs... I could use some goddamn drugs. Valium. Xanax. Ativan. Percocet. Percodan. Percowhatever-the-fuck-would-calm-me-down. What I really wanted was some weed, but knowing my luck Alec would drug test me, like some fucking probation officer keeping tabs on the degenerate. I regretted not moving to California at moments like this. Medical marijuana would save my ass. He wouldn't say shit about it if I had a prescription.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

Who was I kidding? Yes, he would. Too bad they didn't have a prescription for vodka. I'd kill for a shot of Grey Goose. Probably fucking literally, too, with the way I felt. I was so desperate that just a drop would do... anything to soothe the ache and lessen the panic. Typical, the people at AA would say. Desperate times call for desperate measures. An alcoholic would drink a bottle of mouthwash if they had to in order to get a fix. It was why there was none in my house. No cough syrup, either. When I got a cold, I suffered through that shit. I told Isabella that was a little fucking extreme, but she stood her ground and I learned quickly that you didn't argue with a pregnant woman. And now we were back to the fucking pregnant women. I glanced around the room, seeing over a dozen of them. A few were looking my direction, curious expressions on their faces. I was the only man there, a lone, poor, male soul in a sea of hormonal bitches. Yeah, I was fucked and not in the good way. "You are, aren't you?" Isabella whispered. "You're about to have an attack." I wanted to deny it, but I couldn't even answer her. I was losing my grasp on the situation... fast. They weren't frequent, but panic attacks had always been a part of my world. It was a side effect of watching your parents get murdered in front of you, I suppose. It left you a little bit fucked up inside. Isabella started rubbing my back as I put my head down and closed my eyes. I tried to take deep breaths as she quietly talked, the sound of her voice washing through me. I felt like a pussy for it, but she never failed to soothe me. She was the remedy for whatever ailed me, the cure for my fucked-up-itis. I wasn't even sure what she was talking about, but it didn't really matter. She could tell me what a fucking wimp I was and I'd still feel better, hearing it come from her. The feeling subsided eventually, my urge to flee diminishing. I opened my eyes to look at Isabella and she smiled softly -- always so fucking understanding, even if she had gone crazy. Okay, crazy was a little harsh. I knew she couldn't help it. She was a roller coaster of emotions, going from screaming to laughing to crying within a matter of seconds. Pregnancy hormones, I guessed. I could barely keep up with her half of the time. "Better?" she asked. "Yeah," I replied. "Thanks, tesoro." "Of course." I glanced at my watch, seeing it was already half past one in the afternoon. Our appointment had

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

been at one. "Christ, what's taking so long?" I muttered. "What are they doing back there, making the damn babies?" "They're always running behind," she said with a shrug. "Can't say I'm surprised, since it's the women's clinic," I said. "You all always gotta be late for shit." I should've known better. I should've kept my mouth shut, but as usual... I didn't. The moment I spoke those words they seemed to echo loudly throughout the room, and every head in the place turned in my direction. Isabella shook her head, sighing exasperatedly, while the dozen or so others just glared. The hostility in their expressions made my heart rate skyrocket again. I was defenseless against them. I would hit a man in a heartbeat, but not a woman... never a woman. Especially not a pregnant woman, at that. Did I mention they were all crazy? I sat back in my chair and folded my hands in my lap, staring down at the floor. Shut up, Cullen, I thought. Just shut the fuck up. After what felt like another damn hour, the door to the back opened and a woman in hot pink scrubs stepped out. "Isabella Cullen," she announced, reading from a chart in her hands. We stood up and I followed Isabella through the waiting room. I could feel the stares of the women but avoided eye contact. Maybe if I didn't look at them, they wouldn't be compelled to attack. "How are you today, Isabella?" the nurse asked. "Fine, thanks," Isabella replied politely. "You?" "Wonderful," the woman responded. She peeked at me from the corner of her eye and smiled. "I see you brought someone with you this time." "Yes, my husband," Isabella replied. She emphasized the word and the woman nodded, instantly looking disappointed. Couldn't say I blamed her. Had to fucking suck trying to meet men at the women's clinic. The nurse said nothing else as she led Isabella to a scale, motioning for her to get on it. She hesitated, eyeing me apprehensively. The one goddamn woman in the world who was never selfconscious around me was suddenly hesitating over something as petty as a number. I looked away to make it easier for her as she climbed up on the scale. I could see the nurse manually moving the weight thing at the top and I was tempted to peek out of sheer curiosity, but after my outburst in the waiting room I figured that probably wasn't wise. The nurse wrote the weight down on the chart before handing Isabella a small plastic cup, and she quickly disappeared into a small bathroom without saying a word.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"Pissing in a cup?" I asked with confusion, glancing at the nurse. She laughed at my expression and nodded. "Is it like, a drug test or something?" "Or something," she replied. "Precautionary. We check hormone levels, look for bacteria, test for protein or presence of blood. That sort of thing." "Ah," I said. "And you do this every visit?" "Yes." "You must handle a lot of people's piss then," I said. "Not a job I'd wanna do." She looked somewhere between offended and resigned. She didn't want to do the fucking job, either. "What do you do?" she asked, eyeing me peculiarly. It was a loaded question. What did I do? I wasn't sure. I lied, cheated and stole, but according to the IRS I didn't do shit. In fact, I had no earned income the year before... not a fucking penny... even though I really banked about a hundred thousand. Made a hell of a lot more than that, but most I wasn't allowed to keep. Uncle Sam didn't take my money, but I had another uncle who sure as fuck did. I was tempted to be funny and tell her I worked in waste management, having watched more episodes of The Sopranos than Alec would be happy about, but once again figured I ought to keep my mouth shut. "I'm a student," I mumbled. "Music." It was a blanket answer. 'I'm a student', 'I'm between jobs', 'I'm laid off'. True or not, it all meant the same thing -- 'I don't earn a paycheck every week'. And just like that, all appeal faded. I had a baby on the way and didn't pull my weight. Automatically I had strikes against me. Not like I actually gave a fuck what she thought, but still... The door to the bathroom opened and Isabella stepped out, stealthily handing the cup off to the waiting nurse. She turned to me, smiling sheepishly, and I just shook my head. Like I hadn't seen piss before. The nurse led us to an exam room in the back, ushering us inside. "The doctor will be with you shortly," she said, sticking the chart in a container beside the door. Isabella nodded, taking a seat on the exam table as the nurse shut the door. You dont have to get naked? I asked.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

She shook her head. No, not usually. "Damn, I was kind of looking forward to it," I said playfully. "Are you really getting frisky at the OBGYN?" she asked. I smirked, closing the distance between us. "Yeah, why not?" I asked, running my hands up her jean-clad thighs. "As slow as these people are, I think we've got time for a quickie." "You're kidding." "Do I look like I'm kidding?" I asked. "Come on, I've always wanted to do it in a doctor's office." "And you haven't before?" she asked, almost as if she were actually considering it. Her question caused me to hesitate too long for her liking and she rolled her eyes, pushing my hands away. "You have." "I wouldn't say that." "What would you say?" "That I can't remember." "You have issues," she said, shaking her head. "And that's news to you?" I asked. "I always figured it was half the reason you loved me." She smiled, gazing at me. "I wouldn't call it half." "And what would you call it?" "One of many," she replied. "Maybe top ten." "What are the other nine?" "Do you really need me to stroke your ego?" I smirked. "Well, yeah, since you won't stroke anything else." She blushed as she laughed. No matter how ridiculous it was, she still acted so fucking innocent whenever sex was mentioned. "Thats one of the reasons right there," she said. "What, because I'm perverted?" "Well, you are, but I meant your humor."

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"I wasn't trying to be funny, Bella. I was serious." She smiled. "I didn't say it was intentional, but it was funny." I didn't have a chance to think of a comeback because there was a shuffling right outside the room. I glanced over as the door was pushed open and a woman with curly red hair walked in. She looked really fucking young and had on a dress suit with a white lab coat, the chart in her hands. "Mrs. Cullen, wonderful to see you again," she said, her eyes shifting to me. "And you must be Mr. Cullen." I nodded. "Edward." She smiled and held her hand out for me to shake it. "Pleasure to meet you, Edward. I'm Dr. Katie Marshall." "Doctor," I said. She looked old enough to still be playing doctor, not fucking practicing medicine. "How old are you?" Isabella sighed. "Edward..." "It's alright," Dr. Marshall said. "It's a valid question. I'll be thirty-one next month." "So you're thirty," I said. "Isn't that a little young to be delivering babies?" "Not really," she replied. "I've been practicing for about a year now." "A year," I said. "And how many babies have you delivered? Five? Six?" "Close," she said with a smile. "104." I looked at her with shock. That was a lot of fucking babies. "Seriously, that many?" "Yes. About two a week," she replied. "Do you have any other questions?" "Where'd you go to school?" "University of Nevada School of Medicine." "And you did your residency there?" "At affiliated hospitals, yes." "And that's the best you could do?" I asked. "I mean, no offense, but there are a lot of schools

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

with a better reputation. Harvard, Columbia, John Hopkins, Duke..." She looked at me with surprise. "Are you pre-med?" I laughed. Yeah, right. "No, but my father was a doctor." "Oh, where'd he attend?" "University of Chicago," I replied. "Pritzker School of Medicine." "Good school, probably one of the top ten in the country," she said. "To answer your question, I actually did my undergrad at Stanford -- which is also top ten -- but I decided to move closer to home to be near my family. Which, to me, is the most important thing. It's the reason I chose this profession to begin with--family. Are you done? Isabella asked before I could get out any more questions. Can we just get this over with? I shrugged, waving them off. Whatever. I guess shell do. Isabella huffed but the doctor just laughed, not seeming bothered in the least by my interrogation. I wasnt going to let some inexperienced wanna-be doctor take care of my wife if she wasnt even qualified to take care of her fucking self, though. Im glad you approve, Dr. Marshall said, grabbing a stool and pulling it closer to the exam table. I stood along the sidelines as she took a seat, opening Isabellas chart and glancing through it. Any dizziness? Nausea? No, not any more, Isabella replied. Thank God for that, I muttered. She'd been puking non-stop the first few months and could barely keep down crackers, much less any real food. I probably lost twenty damn pounds myself from having no appetite. I hated seeing her sick and not being able to do anything about it. It was frustrating and made me feel guilty, considering it was half my fault she was the way she was. And pregnant Isabella had no problem fucking reminding me of that. Any issues you can think of? Any cramping or spotting? Any contractions? Nope. The doctor nodded. Have you been feeling the baby move? Isabella hesitated, a tinge of panic in her expression that nearly freaked me out. If she was fucking panicking, there was no way Id be able to hold it together. Am I supposed to? she asked.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

Not necessarily, she replied. Soon, though. This is your first pregnancy, so you should start feeling it between 18 and 22 weeks. Youre exactly 20 weeks today, so it should happen any time. Oh, okay, Isabella said, the relief in her voice evident. The doctor jotted down a few notes and I tried to look over her shoulder and read them, but I was too far away and it would have been obvious if I moved closer. She closed the file after a few moments and sat it to the side, standing up. She instructed Isabella to lay back on the table and I watched as she pulled out a small tape measure, measuring her torso. She pressed around on her stomach a bit, doing God knows what, before taking a step back with a smile. Right on spot, she said, sounding satisfied. Youre scheduled for an ultrasound today, correct? Isabella nodded. At two. I glanced at my watch, seeing it was already ten minutes after. Fucking late, as expected. Well, everything looks wonderful on this end, Dr. Marshall stated, grabbing Isabellas file once more. Do you have any questions for me? Both of them turned to me expectantly, but I just smirked and shook my head. No, I think Im good. Great, Dr. Marshall said. Ill see if the ultrasound tech is ready for you. She walked out and Isabella sat back up, straightening her shirt. So this is what you do every time? I asked. Pretty much, she replied. Sometimes they take blood, other times there are more exams, but thats basically it. Just technical things. Technical shit--weighing, poking, prodding, pissing. I got it now. You know, well probably be waiting awhile for this ultrasound thing, I said, strolling over and sitting down on the stool the doctor had used. We still have time for that quickie. She just rolled her eyes. Shot down again.

~*~

The Part in Which We See Inside of Isabella (is that a fucking baby?!)
After what felt like another hour later, although it was really only a few minutes, the door to the

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

exam room opened and the nurse with the hot pink scrubs appeared. "The ultrasound tech is ready for you." We both got to our feet and the nurse led us down the hallway to a small room in the back. It was dimly lit and there was an exam table inside with a computer set up beside it, the back of the room almost like a normal office. The lady standing inside looked to be about the same age as the doctor, her dark hair slicked back into a tight bun. She had on a pair of red reading glasses with bright red lipstick to match, her features sharp and angular. She introduced herself to us as Bambi Foxworth and it immediately felt like I was trapped in a really bad porn flick. She instructed Isabella to lay back on the table and pull her shirt up. I stood beside her, holding her hand as the lady grabbed a plastic bottle from a nearby drawer. "This will be cold," she warned before squirting some clear, gooey shit on her stomach. Isabella stiffened, I assumed it was because it was fucking cold, as the lady picked up some white thing attached to the computer with a cord. It looked kind of like a handheld price scanner, one of those motherfuckers the bitch at the checkout counter at the store had for barcodes. She pressed it to Isabellas stomach, smearing the gooey shit all around. The screen instantly lit up with video and the lady smiled. "There's your baby." I stared at it, my brow furrowed in confusion-- it didn't really look like anything to me, much less a baby. The lady must've noticed my expression because she laughed and proceeded to point out the different body parts. After a moment the pieces started coming together and I stared in shock as it moved around, wiggling inside of her. A baby. It was really a baby. The lady spoke a bit more but I didn't understand a goddamn word she said. All I could hear was a faint swishing sound in the background, like I was being shoved underwater by a massive fucking wave. There was a pounding in my ears, the sound of blood rushing, and it made everything outside of it all garbled. There was a baby inside of her, a life we'd created together. I'd stuck my dick in her and those tiny little swimmy motherfuckers had found their way home, resulting in the little human that was on the screen. "Tesoro, there's a fucking person inside of you." The ultrasound tech abruptly stopped speaking, looking at me with surprise, but Isabella just laughed. "You're just now figuring that out?" "No. Well, yes. Christ, look at it," I said, pointing at the screen. "It's real." "It is real." "No, I mean it's really real. This shit just isn't words anymore. The fucking thing is really in there."

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

She laughed. Again. What the fuck was so funny? I was finding it increasingly more difficult to breathe, my chest tight, and she was fucking laughing at me. "It is," she said. "Our baby." "Our baby," I repeated. "We're having a baby." I knew I sounded like a goddamn idiot, but I couldnt help it. I was dumbfounded. It wasn't just some vague dream anymore -- it was actually happening. We were going to be parents. "The heartbeat's strong," the ultrasound tech said, pointing at a little round spot on the monitor that was flashing like a strobe light. "Thats the heart. You can hear it, too. Its the galloping sound in the background." "Shit, you hear that?" I asked. "I thought it was just me." No, not just you, she said with a smile. Its your babys. My babys, I muttered. My baby. Isabella was having my baby. What the fuck was I going to do with a baby? I was on the verge of panicking again, my breathing shallow. Isabella squeezed my hand and I looked down at her, seeing the concern in her eyes. Are you okay? she mouthed. I nodded hesitantly, although I wasnt really sure. I was going to be a father. Was I okay? At the moment, I didn't fucking think so. Do you want to know what youre having? the lady asked, seemingly oblivious to the fact that I was about to pass the fuck out. No, I blurted out at the same time Isabella said yes. She looked at me with confusion. I thought you wanted to know. I did, I replied. Or I mean, I do. I just... fuck... I dont know. Do I? She smiled softly. "I'll leave it up to you. If you don't want to know, we'll let it be a surprise." A surprise. A lot of fucking help she was. I had enough surprises in my life, and I didn't handle any of them very well. I hated not knowing what was going to happen, having to fly blindly on shit. It was why I loved the piano so much. I knew exactly what happened when I pressed a key, exactly what sound I'd get by combining them together. Music was a science just as much as it

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

was an art. It took as much precision as it did heart to pull off a masterpiece, and if you didn't know the goddamn keys in advance there was no way you'd get any of it right. So I had to prepare. I needed to know which keys made which sound, just like I needed to know what the hell I was getting myself into so I could be ready. Was it even possible to be ready, though? How was I going to prepare for something I knew absolutely nothing about? What if it was like a car accident and knowing in advance only made things worse? You see that car coming at you and shit seems to happen in slow motion, the world around you nothing but a blur. You tense up then, waiting for the collision, and you're wound so tightly that the impact is greater. It hurts more, the fucking pain deeper than if it were unexpected. Some shit you just couldn't be prepared for, no matter what the fuck you did. Was that one of these times? Was our baby like a fucking car wreck? And why the fuck was I comparing our baby to an accident? What the hell was wrong with me? "I don't fucking know." Isabella laughed for about the tenth goddamn time while I just shook my head. I was as confused as ever. "How about I write it down and stick it in an envelope," the lady suggested. "If you decide you want to know later you can look, but if not, no harm done. You'll find out delivery day." "That would be great," Isabella said, while I just nodded. It was all I could fucking do. Nod. Isabella squeezed my hand again as the ultrasound tech scribbled something down on a scrap piece of paper and got a small envelope from a drawer. She sealed the paper inside the envelope and held it out to us. I grabbed it before Isabella could and stuffed it in my pocket anxiously. I was starting to shake and needed some fresh air, the walls of the tiny room feeling like they were trying to swallow my ass. I wasn't sure what else was said. I was fucking antsy and about to start hyperventilating. Isabella seemed to sense my predicament, as usual, and cut the conversation as short as possible. The tech wrapped things up, printed out some shit and sent us on our way. I headed out as Isabella handled things at the check-out desk, paying whatever the fuck we needed to pay and scheduling her next appointment. I could sense the eyes on me in the waiting room as I scurried through the motherfucker, like it was a room full of vultures and I was dead meat. Probably fucking literally, too, if they could get their hands on me. I breathed a sigh of relief once I stepped out into the afternoon air. It was warm here in Vegas, but there was a decent breeze that made the heat bearable. I took a deep breath, trying to calm

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

down, and shoved my hands in my pockets as I paced around in front of the building. I felt the envelope and grasped the paper between my fingers, suddenly starting to sweat again. It was right there, the knowledge of what lay ahead of us literally within my fucking grasp, but I was too chicken shit to face it yet. I'm sure a lot of people wondered what happened to the Edward Cullen that lived in Forks back in 2005. The fearless motherfucker who had not a care in the world, who lived on the edge and never turned down a dare. I fought, dove off of cliffs, blew shit up and ingested any goddamn thing I could get my hands on. I was all about instant gratification then, getting what I wanted whenever the hell I wanted it. So what happened to him? He drove himself into a pit he almost couldn't get himself back out of. Almost. And what's left of that is me, this broken person, still teetering on the edge sometimes as I tried to navigate the life I'd been given. That's not to say I wasn't happy, because I was. I had Isabella and that meant everything to me. She was my world... but being in love didn't completely negate everything else. It was a struggle some days and she was my rock, the one thing I could always count on. She was consistent. I knew what to expect with her. I went out and spent my days immersed in this underground world that was so brutal motherfuckers tried to pretend it didn't even exist, because they liked to sleep at night without having to think about what went on outside their homes. But I couldnt pretend. I couldnt deny it, because I couldnt escape it. I went home every night to my wife, hoping and fucking praying none of that ugliness followed me. Hoping it stayed out there in the streets and didn't force its way through my front door, tainting everything in my life that was actually good. I swore to protect Isabella from it and would, but it was all changing. It wasn't just her I had to look out for anymore. We were going to have a baby. A baby whose gender was going to determine a lot. In the world I lived in, the word written in that envelope didn't just dictate whether we bought pink or blue. There were expectations, birthrights. That lone word would decide how the child would be looked upon, how they would be perceived, and that one simple fucking word could very well decide their entire future. I knew this because it had happened to me, and I was fucking frightened of it happening to my kid. Id keep that world from infiltrating my home as much as possible, but if we had a boy I wasn't so sure how long I'd succeed. After all, my parents had fought to the death to keep the shit away from me and a lot of fucking good that did. When it wants you, it gets you -- the Mafia doesn't take no for an answer. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't even hear Isabella come out behind me until I nearly fucking knocked her down with my pacing. "Shit, tesoro, I didn't see you there." "I can tell," she replied, her brow furrowed as she eyed me peculiarly. "Are you okay?" "How many times are you gonna ask me that?"

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"Until you tell me the truth," she replied. I sighed, taking my hand from my pocket and running it through my hair. "I'll be alright," I said. "I'm just stressed. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing." "No one does, Edward," she said, smiling gently. "I don't see how that can be," I replied. "There's a lot of fucking people around for no one to be knowing what they're doing. Someone had to know something, or none of us would be here to know anything!" Christ, did that even fucking makes sense? I doubted it. "It comes natural," she replied, I assumed knowing what the fuck I meant, even though I wasnt entirely sure myself. "It's instinct." "Well, its an instinct I don't have." "Yes, you do," she said with a laugh. "Even monkeys have it, Edward. It just hasn't kicked in yet." I shook my head. "You give me too much credit, Bella." "No, I don't," she said. "I give you the credit you deserve. And I'm not the only one who thinks you'll be a good father, you know. Emmett and Rosalie wouldn't have made you Little C's godfather if they didn't think you had those instincts." "Yeah, well, I still can't figure out why they did that shit, to be honest. Why would anyone trust me with a damn kid?" "Because you have a good heart," she said. "You're protective. You have a great sense of humor. You're loyal, understanding, accepting. You're strong, smart and talented. You wanted to know the reasons I love you? That's pretty much your answer. And I'm not the only one who sees those qualities in you -- your family does, too. You're good at everything, Edward, so why in the world do you think you wouldn't be good at this?" I stared at her, sort of fucking stunned. Girls had showered me with compliments my entire life but it was always shallow--how big my dick was, how good I looked. It was still startling to have someone tell me shit like how good my heart was and how understanding I could be. Those were definitely things Edward Cullen circa 2005 wouldnt have heard, the selfish bastard. "That was only nine," I said after a moment of awkward silence. "Huh?"

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"Earlier you said ten reasons, but you only listed nine," I replied. "What's the last one?" She smiled sheepishly. "Well, you are good looking." There it was... even she wasn't immune to the shit. I laughed as she blushed, the tension in the air lessening. "Right back at you, tesoro." ~*~

The Part in Which I Fuck Some Stuff Up (Oops)


The moment I opened the front door to the house, I knew we had a problem. A blast of heat hit me, the air thick and muggy inside. "Shit," I muttered, stepping into the foyer. Isabella brushed past me into the house, kicking off her shoes. "What's wrong?" she asked as I shut the front door. I frowned. "You don't feel how fucking hot it is in here?" She shrugged. "It's not so bad." "Not so bad? It's like a goddamn sauna," I said. "I'm already sweating my balls off." "Turn the air conditioner on if you're hot." "I already did, Bella," I replied. "I turned it on before we left." "Oh." "Yeah, oh," I grumbled, tossing my keys on the small table right inside the door. I peeled my shirt off and threw it over the banister of the stairs, too damn lazy to take it to the hamper. I could feel the warm air blowing out of the vent nearby, making the inside hotter than outside. "You should call the electrical guy," she suggested. "Or whatever you call an air conditioner person." "To hell with that," I replied. "They'll take too fucking long." "Then what are you going to do?" "I'm going to fix it myself." She froze, looking at me with shock. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"Yeah, why not?" I asked. "I mean, how hard can the shit be?" Her expression didn't change. She still looked at me like I was the fucking crazy one. "I don't know..." "Well, I do," I said. "This is what husbands do, tesoro. They fix shit." She just shrugged and walked away, grabbing my discarded shirt before making her way upstairs. I went into the kitchen and got a bottle of water from the fridge, downing the fucker quickly before heading to my downstairs office. I booted up my laptop and sat down, googling 'how to fix an air conditioner'. The fact that nearly every page said 'central air units should always be serviced by a professional' should've thrown up a goddamn red flag, but as usual the warning barely even registered with me. After finding instructions on one of those fucking Wikipedia wannabe how-to sites, I scrounged up a screw driver and headed for the unit. I cleaned the inside evaporator like it told me to, making sure to seal that shit back up tight when I was finished, before heading outside to the condenser. I stood there for a moment, unsure of where to start, before cutting the power and just diving right in. I didn't have a goddamn thing on the list of necessary supplies, so I made do with what I could find. I wiped and hosed some shit down, pulling things apart before putting it back together. An hour later I'd done everything imaginable to fix it, from checking fuses to cleaning coils. I was soaked and covered in mud, but I was pretty fucking proud of myself. I turned the power back on to it and gave it a kick for good measure before heading inside, seeing Isabella standing by the window. She scrunched up her nose, glaring at the floor where I'd dragged mud in with me. "How'd it go?" she asked. "Great," I replied. "I told you I could do the shit." I walked over to the thermostat and smirked, flipping the switch back to 'cool'. I waited for a second for it to kick on, prepared for the familiar hum to fill the room as cold air hit me from the vent, but it never came. There was nothing but tense silence, the anticipation slowly giving way to disappointment. What the fuck? Isabella smiled softly, giving me that fucking 'I told you so' look, and stared at me expectantly. "I guess I was wrong," I muttered, annoyed. Apparently I'd fucked it up even more, since it went from not cooling to not even coming on.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"Yeah, I was wrong, too," she replied, turning to look out the window. "Apparently you're not good at everything." ~*~

The Part in Which I Get Relief (not that way, you fucking perverts)
Less than an hour later a white work van pulled up in front of the house from Right Now Air Services in Las Vegas. The guy went to work quickly and I watched him warily, uncomfortable having a stranger inside my home. He kept giving me apprehensive looks but said nothing, working in silence for about thirty minutes. "Uh, bad news," he said finally, turning to me with hesitation as we stood in the back yard. He shot a quick glance at Isabella, who hovered near the doorway listening. "You have a Freon problem, which was why it wasn't cooling. It's a simple fix, but it seems the outside unit has also sustained a bit of damage. The aluminum fins are bent and the system is clogged with mud. The filter is also damaged... looks like someone took a high pressure hose to it." I ran my hand through my hair, frustrated. Oops. "Is that it?" "Besides a fuse being disconnected, yes," he replied. "We should have you up and running again today. As far as cost goes, it'll be..." "I don't give a shit what it costs," I said, cutting him off. "Just fix it." "Alright," he replied. "I'll get right on it." I headed inside and went straight upstairs to strip out of my filthy clothes. I discarded them on the floor before making my way into the adjoining bathroom, turning on the cold water for a shower. I climbed in under the spray, letting it cool my sweaty skin. I stood there for awhile until my fingers were pruney, the water so cold my balls were trying to tuck up inside. I turned the shower off and climbed out, wrapping a towel around my waist before heading back in the bedroom. I paused the moment I spotted Isabella sitting on the corner of the bed, clutching a familiar envelope in her hand. It was crinkled and bent, the edges of it damp and torn from having been in my pocket. The sight of it sent my heart racing, adrenaline running through my veins. I'd nearly forgotten all about the motherfucker during my foray with the air conditioner. Running my hand through my wet hair, I sighed and strolled over to the bed. I took a seat beside her and grabbed the envelope, knowing it was pointless to put it off any longer. It would taunt me, glaring at me from wherever the fuck I put it, a constant reminder of my cowardice. I needed to face whatever it was, because avoiding wouldn't change the shit. If we were going to crash, the least we could do was handle it like adults.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

Or me, anyway. Isabella looked pretty goddamn adjusted. I was the one acting like a pussy. "Don't you want to put on some clothes first?" she asked as I started tearing the envelope open. "It's too hot for clothes, Bella," I replied. "Besides, babies are synonymous with being naked. We make them naked and they sure as fuck don't come out with any clothes on." She laughed. "Makes sense, I guess." "Yes, it does, so feel free to take yours off." "Not right now," she replied. "In case you forgot, we've got someone downstairs working." "How could I forget when it's like two hundred goddamn degrees in here?" I grumbled, pulling the piece of paper out of the envelope. I started to unfold it but hesitated, looking at my wife. "You sure you want to do this?" She smiled and nodded. "Yes." "Okay then." I opened the paper, my eyes instantly falling upon the lone word written inside. The ink was bleeding from having gotten wet, but what was written was still as clear as day. Girl. She was having a girl. We were having a girl. A daughter. Relief hit me instantly, my earlier panic withering away. La Cosa Nostra left girls alone. They cherished females, protected them, but in no way, shape or form were they ever involved. One motherfucking bullet dodged. I exhaled loudly, not realizing I'd been holding my breath, and Isabella started rubbing my back. "A girl," she whispered. I nodded. "Are you disappointed?" she asked. I glanced at her and saw the apprehension and concern for my feelings in her eyes. She was too good for me. I'd believe that until the day I died. "Not at all," I replied. "Couldn't be happier." She smiled, tears forming in the corner of her eyes, and I reached out to wrap my arms around her. Pulling her down onto the bed, I snuggled up against her. I slipped my hand under her shirt,

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

caressing the swell of her stomach as I kissed her neck. "A daughter," I mumbled against her skin, still in disbelief that it was all happening. "A little girl." "With pigtails and dresses," she said. "She can play with dolls and go to dance classes." "And music classes," I said. "Art classes, too," she added. "She'll have everything I didn't get and get to do all the things I missed out on." "Like school." "Yes, and friends. There can be sleepovers and birthday parties and dates." I tensed. "No dates." "Yes dates," she insisted, her voice playful even though I was fucking serious. "With boys, even." "No goddamn way." "Yes way. She'll wear make-up and they'll hold hands in a dark movie theater while they share a soda." "You're fucking crazy," I said, sitting up and looking at her with disbelief. My panic was returning. Didn't she fucking understand how boys could be? "No daughter of mine will be doing that shit, Bella." "Yes, she will," she insisted. "It's normal." "Maybe so, but we're not fucking normal." "I know," she replied. "Which is exactly why she'll get to do it. Shouldn't she be allowed to have all the normal things that we didn't get?" I just stared at her, unsure of how to answer. She was right, of course, even though I didn't want to agree. We didn't do shit the normal way. There was no courting, or whatever the fuck they called it anymore. None of that check yes or no, meet the parents, awkward first dates bullshit. We just happened, our circumstances setting it all up so we came together. There was no other way for us and as grateful as I was to have her, I knew she'd been robbed of the experience. An experience she was apparently hoping to give to her daughter. I realized, as I stared at her, that she wasn't as adjusted as it seemed. She had the same concerns

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

as me when it boiled down to it. As much as I was scared shitless of having a boy being forced to follow in my footsteps, she was afraid of having a girl to follow in hers. "Fine," I muttered, laying back down and running my hand over her stomach again. "She can do that normal shit, whatever, but she still isn't wearing makeup." The moment I said those words Isabella's stomach stirred, the movement so slight I wouldn't have caught it if my hand hadn't been in the exact spot it occurred. Isabella gasped. "Did you feel that?" "Did she..." I started, pausing in shock. What the fuck? "Did she just fucking kick me?" Isabella broke into laughter, the carefree sound echoing through the still room. While we lay there a sudden blast of air hit me as the air conditioner kicked on and I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally fucking fixed -- all was right in the world again. "She did," she said happily. "I think that means she disagrees with you." ~*~

The Part in Which I Get Pussy (but not the pussy I like)
The incessant loud noises were grating on my nerves. We'd been there for less than five minutes and I already had a headache. "Are you sure about this shit, Bella?" I asked, wishing she'd change her mind so we could leave. I wasn't even sure how the fuck she'd talked me into it, to be honest. I'd stood my ground, refusing to let this shit happen, but in a moment of weakness I'd caved. I should've known I always would, considering she had me wrapped around her fucking finger. All she had to do was look at me with her wide, brown eyes and she fucking had me at her mercy. "Yes, I'm sure," she replied. "You're always off working and I get lonely." "I'll stop working so much," I said with a shrug. She laughed. "Like that's actually possible?" True. "I would if I could, you know." "I know you would, and I don't blame you. This way you don't have to feel so guilty leaving me alone." "I'll still feel guilty," I replied. "Now I'll just have to worry on top of it."

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"Why would you worry?" she asked, looking at me with confusion. "Everything will be fine." "You know how I feel, Bella. I don't like it. You never know what can happen." She rolled her eyes. "You're being ridiculous." I shrugged. Maybe I was, but I couldn't help it. "Sorry for the wait," a lady said, appearing from the back room. "What can I help you two with today?" Isabella smiled, taking my hand and squeezing it. "We want to adopt a cat." 'We' was a lie. I hated cats, the conniving, little, sneaky motherfuckers. The lady showed us to a room in the back, where there were rows of little cages aligning the walls filled with cats. They were much quieter than the dogs, whose barking and growling could be heard in the lobby. We walked around the room and Isabella reached into cages, petting the animals as we passed. There had to be at least fifty of them, all ages and colors imaginable. Some were abnormally fluffy, while others were hairless like a fucking rat. There were kittens and full grown cats, some thin as a rail while others were so fat I was surprised they could walk. No matter the difference, though, they all had something in common -- they all stared at me like they wanted me dead. She finally stopped in front of a cage that held a lone, black cat. There was nothing special about it, no markings to make it stand out. It didn't make any noise as we approached, didn't even move closer so Isabella could pet it. It just fucking sat there, looking gloomy. "I like this one," she said. I looked at her incredulously. "Seriously? It's kind of depressing, Bella." She nodded. "It looks sad." "And you want it?" I asked. "It looks like that kind of cat that'll throw itself in front of a fucking car." The lady cleared her throat from behind us, having been eavesdropping... the nosy bitch. "His name is Shadow. His owner dropped him off a few weeks ago, couldn't afford to keep him anymore." Isabella nodded. "This is definitely the one. He needs us." I turned back to the cat. It was still just sitting there, glaring at me. "Whatever."

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"The adoption fee is $40," the lady said. "Christ," I muttered, reaching for my wallet to see if I had any cash. The way the cat looked, they ought to have paid me to fucking take it. "What happens to the cats that don't get adopted?" Isabella asked, glancing around at the rest of the cages. "Well, we make our best effort to find them all homes, but the ones we aren't successful with are eventually euthanized." I could sense Isabella tense up and didn't even have to look at her to know that she was about to start crying. "All of these poor kitties," she said quietly. "They just want a home, someone to love them." I shook my head, glancing at her and seeing the look of desperation on her face. She was already a sensitive person, but the fucking pregnancy hormones had her on an emotional roller coaster. "I can't save them all, Bella. Even if I tried, I couldn't."

~*~

The Part in Which People Get on My Nerves (surprise, surprise)

"I got it!" Emmett yelled. I cringed, pulling the phone a few inches away from my ear. I was standing in the middle of the grocery store and was pretty sure the people two aisles away could hear his loud ass through the tiny speaker. "You got what?" "The perfect name!" My brow furrowed as I scanned the freezers, looking for Ben & Jerry's Carrot Cake Ice Cream. Isabella had been insistent on needing some, but I couldn't find the shit anywhere. I was at my fourth store and was getting desperate, to the point that I was on the verge of flying to wherever the fuck Ben and Jerry lived so I could force them to make me some. "The perfect name for what?" I asked, not understanding what had my brother so excited. "What do you mean for what?" he asked. "For your daughter!" "Why the fuck are you trying to name my daughter?" I asked, frustrated as I scanned the labels

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

on the pints of ice cream. Chunky Monkey, Americone Dreams, Phish Food, Half Baked, Cherry Garcia... everything but goddamn Carrot Cake. "Because somebody has to name her," he replied. "Isn't that my job?" I asked. "I am her fucking father, you know." "Yeah, but this is you we're talking about," he said. "We can't trust you with this shit." "We? You got someone conspiring with you?" "The whole family," he replied. "I'm speaking on their behalf." "Is my wife included in that?" "No, but she doesn't count here." "Why the hell wouldn't she count when she's the one that's pregnant?" "Because she's on 'Team Edward'. She's like the damn captain of the squad. You can do no wrong in her eyes, so she'd cave and let you name the baby whatever you wanted." I laughed. "Team Edward? Since when am I a fucking sport?" "Since forever, bro." I shook my head. My brother could be a fucking idiot sometimes. "So what's this supposedly perfect name you've come up with?" "There's no supposedly about it. It's the perfect name, period." "Well, what the fuck is it?" "Emmitina." He was completely serious as he said it, like he truly believed it was the best goddamn name ever. "You want me to name my fucking kid Emmitina?" "We," he corrected me. "We do, remember? I'm speaking for the family here." Despite myself, I laughed. "Yeah, you just lost all credibility with that shit." "Ah come on, it's perfect!" "I'm not naming my kid after you, Emmett."

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"Why not?" he asked, sounding genuinely fucking offended. "What's wrong with naming her after her godfather?" "Godfather? Who the fuck said you're her Godfather?" "Oh that's harsh, bro! You know I'm the best man for the job." "Hardly," I grumbled. "Why the fuck would I trust a guy who wants to name my kid Emmitina?" "Okay then, how about Emmitricia?" I rolled my eyes. "I gotta go. I have shit to do." "What's more important than talking to me?" "My wife, for one, and finding this goddamn Ben & Jerry's Carrot Cake bullshit she wants." "The ice cream? Man, that's good. So you're at Wal-Mart?" My brow furrowed. "Why would I be at Wal-Mart?" "Because it's the only place that sells it." Bingo, motherfucker. No wonder I couldn't find the shit. "Yeah, Wal-Mart it is," I replied, turning to head for the exit of the grocery store. "Hey, that's kinda cool, too," he said. "Emmart." "What the fuck is an Emmart?" "I don't know, but it sounds good. You could add a 'y' on the end and make it Emmarty." "You're stupid." "You don't like it?" "Of course I don't like it." "Why? It sounds like Amari and I know you like Amari." My footsteps faltered briefly, stunned he'd just said that to me. Amari was an Italian liquor we used to swipe from my father's cabinet as kids. My mouth nearly fucking started watering at the mere mention of it. The last thing I needed was to start thinking about alcohol again, the succulent burn of it warming my chest and soothing my nerves. "I'm hanging up now," I said.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"No! Come on, let's talk about this!" "Bye, Em." I hung up the phone and slipped it in my pocket as I continued to the exit, stepping out into the warm evening air. I glanced at my watch to see it was a few minutes past four as I started toward the car. I'd been gone for nearly an hour already and was surprised Isabella hadn't checked to see where I was. About the time that thought crossed my mind, my phone started vibrating in my pocket. I sighed and pulled it back out, thinking it would be her, but saw it was a new text from Emmett. How about just Emma? I shook my head. He was nothing if not relentless. And a pain in the ass, of course. Always a fucking pain in my ass. I climbed in my car, aggravated, and drove across town to the closest Wal-Mart. The place was packed, the aisles filled with people since it was the weekend. It always shocked me how busy that place was, motherfuckers everywhere no matter the time of day. They'd just be standing around talking, groups of them blocking the merchandise like they had not a care in the world. It was almost like stepping into an alternate universe, where there was a big ass family reunion on aisle twelve and everybody suddenly knew everybody else, even if they'd never seen them before. A million people in the goddamn city and it was impossible to make it out of Wal-Mart without someone trying to hold a conversation with you. I hated the goddamn place. I weaved through the maze of people, going straight for the freezers. It took me a second to locate the Ben & Jerry's section tucked in the middle of the dozens of other ice creams, and I had to wait a moment for some woman to get out of the way so I could see. When it was finally clear I glanced through the cartons, aggravated. I was about to give up, seeing every goddamn flavor imaginable except for the one I was looking for, when a label toward the back caught my eye. One wayward pint of ice cream was mixed in with the others, the lid declaring it an 'exclusive flavor'. "About fucking time," I grumbled as I snatched it out of the freezer, relieved to see Carrot Cake written on the side. I held that motherfucker close to me, guarding it like my life depended on the shit as I quickly bolted for the registers. Nobody spoke to me. Nobody even fucking looked at me, for that matter. I waited in line quietly, albeit rather fucking impatiently, and was glad when it was finally my turn to pay. I plopped the ice cream down on the conveyer belt and pulled out my wallet to get some cash.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"Hey, how are you?" the cashier asked. "Fine, you?" I muttered. "I'm great, thanks." There was no enthusiasm to her voice. She was working at Wal-Mart on a Saturday night. I ventured to guess there was nothing great about that shit. She picked up the ice cream and ran it across the scanner a few times but nothing happened. I looked at her, wondering what the fuck the problem was, as she grabbed the handheld scanner and pointed it at the barcode. The moment I saw it I smiled, thinking about that thing the ultrasound tech had used. We were getting closer to Isabellas due date, time flying by as the day drew near. It still felt so surreal and we had so much shit to do before then... things to buy, a nursery to paint, a name to pick out. A name that would definitely not be Emmarty, or whatever the fuck else it was he'd said. The cashier smiled as it finally beeped, returning the scanner to its place and eyeing the container in her hand. "So Carrot Cake, eh? Is it any good?" My expression fell quickly. I should've known I wouldn't make it out of there without someone attempting a conversation with me. Probably not, I replied. She looked at me with confusion and I sighed, annoyed at having to explain -- like it was any of the bitch's business. Its not for me, so I wouldnt know. Oh, she replied, sticking it in a bag. Ive never heard of it before. Is it for a friend? Her eyebrow was raised, the curiosity easy to see in her eyes. It took a moment for it to strike me that she was fucking interested and fishing for information. I shook my head. Its for my wife, I replied. One of those weird ass pregnancy cravings of hers. I nearly laughed at how fast her expression shifted, the hope morphing to disappointment. Too bad, bitch. I was taken. Oh, well, Im sure shell like it, she said, glancing at her register. Your total is $3.54. I pulled out a five dollar bill and handed it to her, stuffing the change in my pocket along with the receipt. I grabbed the bag with the ice cream and headed for the exit, sneaking past the bitch standing by the door. I hated when they fucking stopped me and asked to see my receipt, like I was there to steal from those motherfuckers. Did I look like a goddamn thief? Well, okay... maybe I was. What the fuck ever. I climbed in the car, glad to be out of that fucking place, and started on the road out of Vegas. I was a few miles outside of Blue Diamond when my phone started ringing and I grabbed it, tensing when I saw it was Alecs cell phone. Yes, sir? I answered.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

How long will it take you to get here? Uh, depends on where here is, I replied. I sure as hell couldnt say thirty minutes if he expected me in Chicago. Here, he said again, his tone clearly telling me he was aggravated. The usual spot we meet. Oh, uh, twenty minutes maybe, I replied, a little surprised he was in Las Vegas since he hadnt told me he was coming. He occasionally popped in to check things out, but rarely did that shit happen without advance notice. You have fifteen, he said. I started to respond, pretty sure there was no fucking way I could make it there in fifteen minutes, but he hung up before I could get the words out of my mouth. I only hesitated briefly before slamming the breaks and checking my mirrors, swinging the car around in the middle of the highway. I pressed down on the gas pedal hard, gunning it as I headed back toward Las Vegas. I passed cars and weaved through traffic, running a red light trying to get there in time. Accidentally running it, of course. That shit was yellow when I hit the gas. I pulled up to the small club Alec did business in, grateful for a spot right in front of the place. I locked up and shoved the keys in my pocket as I headed inside, glancing around and spotting him sitting at a table with his back to the door. I strolled in his direction, ignoring the manager when he asked me if I needed any help. "You're late," Alec said as I approached, not even bothering to turn around to look at me. I wasn't even sure how he knew I was there. "That was seventeen minutes." "Better than twenty," I muttered, pulling out a chair across from him and sitting down. I tensed when I glanced over, seeing he was holding a glass of scotch. Just my motherfucking luck. "Yes, but it's still not fifteen," he said, taking a long drink from his glass. He nearly emptied it before sitting it down on the table, a lone little drop of brown liquid still lingering on the bottom. It taunted me, practically fucking yelling for me to grab the glass and taste it. It was just a drop-just enough to pacify the voice. Just enough to quench my need. Just enough to dull the ache. Yeah, even I didn't believe my lies. It was just enough to send me on a downward spiral and destroy all the progress I'd made. It tempted me, though. So much so that Alec faded into the background for awhile until he called my name. "Edward! Are you even listening to me?" I looked away from his glass, seeing he was watching me warily. "Uh, yeah. I am," I said, lying

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

my ass off. I had absolutely no idea what he'd said. "Then what's your answer?" Shit. I hesitated, unsure of how to respond. "Um, yeah, I mumbled. Yes. "Yes?" I nodded. "Yes." He stared at me with such intensity that I wondered if he were trying to burn a hole through my head with his gaze. I started fidgeting after a moment, on edge. It was obvious he knew I hadnt been listening, which meant that he knew Id just lied to his face. My day wasnt going well, that was for damn sure. Well, since you said yes, Im assuming that means youll handle it? he asked after awhile, his words carefully chosen. He was testing me. I was fucking screwed. Uh, sure, I replied. Just tell me how you think I should go about it. Ah, I think its pretty self-explanatory, he said, grabbing his glass from the table. He held it up, motioning for a waiter to get him another before raising his eyebrows at me. Do you want anything? I hesitated. Of course I fucking wanted something. I wanted Vodka -- a lot of motherfucking Vodka. No, Im fine, I replied, sighing. The waiter returned with another scotch for my uncle and he swirled the liquid around in his glass before taking a sip of it. Tell me, Edward. How long do you think itll take you to handle this? Um, a day or so, I said. He looked unamused and I quickly started backtracking, knowing that was the wrong answer. Maybe more... His eyes widened with surprise. Wrong answer again. ...but probably less, of course. Of course, he replied, taking another big drink that emptied his glass for the second time. I know the Bellagio is big, but I certainly dont think itll take more than a day to deliver something to the owner for me. He reached into his coat and I cursed under my breath as he pulled out a small white envelope. I hated delivering shit but it was necessary sometimes, since Alec was banned from the casinos. He pushed it across the table and I reached for it, about to pick it up when he grabbed a hold of my wrist. He yanked me toward him, disrupting the table and nearly knocking everything off of it. People around us looked in our direction, but Alec didnt seem to notice. Or else he didnt give a shit. I was leaning toward the latter, to be honest.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

Dont lie to me again, Edward, he said, his voice low but forceful. "I can tell when you're not listening." Yes, sir, I replied, picking up the envelope when he let go of me. I slipped it in my jacket before rubbing my wrist, knowing that fucker was going to bruise. Good. Now go, he said with a wave of the hand, dismissing me. I stood up and started to walk away when he called my name again. My footsteps faltered and I turned back to him, curious as to what he wanted. "That goes straight from your hand to his. Dont mess this up, Edward. I mean it. My patience is thin." I wont, sir, I replied, turning back around once more to walk away. I was just delivering an envelope. How hard could the shit be? Apparently, it was a lot harder than one would think. Three hours later, after an intense interrogation where I refused to answer any of their bullshit questions and a pat-down from a Sumo wrestler looking security guard that made me feel like Id been fucking violated twice over, they finally let me into the bosss office. He was a short man, not much more than five feet tall, and was nearly bald with thick glasses. He was strict, a scowl on his face that looked like it had been plastered there, and his voice was sharp. He looked sort of like George Costanza... a meaner, uglier but undoubtedly richer George Costanza. He controlled the most successful casino in Las Vegas. Despite his looks, I bet he got a lot of motherfucking pussy. This is for you, I said, holding the envelope out to him. Its from Al-- I know who its from, he snapped, snatching it out of my hand. My eyes narrowed and I glared at him, already fucking annoyed by his attitude. The man tore the envelope open, pulling out a piece of paper. He read it quickly and laughed as he strolled over to a paper shredder, destroying it. "You can leave now," he said, waving me off with an impatient sigh. His dismissive attitude made me want to punch him in the face. Well alright, then. I shook my head. What the fuck was the point in that? I waited three fucking hours for him to shred it and say nothing? "Have a good day or whatever. He grumbled something I couldnt make out, but I didnt stick around to find out what it was. I bolted out of there and called Alec when I got back to my car. "Is it done?" he asked, answering on the first ring. "Yes, I gave it to him." "Did he say anything?" "No."

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"Okay," Alec said, the line going dead as he hung up on me. I put my phone away, grumbling to myself. "Yeah, you're welcome, Uncle Alec. Didnt fucking mind it at all. The drive home was quick, given I sped as fast as I was sure I could get away with. It was nearing nine oclock when I finally pulled up to the house, the sky already dark as night had crept in. I glanced at the Wal-Mart bag sitting on the passenger seat and frowned. All that fucking trouble hunting it down gone to waste. I grabbed the bag and headed into the house, finding the downstairs completely quiet and all of the lights off. I went into the kitchen to throw away the ice cream, knowing the shit was melted, before slowly making my way upstairs. My heart was pounding rapidly, a lot more nervous about her reaction than I'd been about facing an associate of the Mafia. I understood how they were and knew what to expect, but it was different with Isabella. I never knew if I was about to encounter Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde until it was too late. I could see the subtle light coming from under the bedroom door and pushed it open, my eyes falling upon Isabella right away. She was sitting on the bed in her pajamas, propped up by pillows with a book in her hands. She looked away from it when the door opened, a soft smile on her lips as she gazed at me. I was wondering if you were planning on coming home today, she said. Her voice was playful, thank fucking God. I come home every day, I replied, pausing for a second before adding, usually. She laughed. Did you at least get my ice cream while you were out? I did, I said. I dont have it anymore, though. She eyed me suspiciously. Did you eat it? No. It melted. How? What do you mean how? It got hot and went from solid to liquid. Its like, physics or some shit. Or biology. Chemistry, she corrected. Whatever, it is what it is, I said, shrugging. It melted and I threw it away. Its basic math -cause and effect.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

How is that math? I dont know, Bella. Its like A plus B equals C. A -- I bought it, B -- it melted, so C -- I threw the shit away. Makes sense to me. She laughed, rolling her eyes. Well, what were you doing to make it melt? I sat down beside her on the bed and kicked my shoes off before laying back. I gazed up at her, sighing. Just some shit. She nodded, that enough to tell her what she needed to know. She didnt want specifics, which was good, because she wouldnt get them. She didnt need to know the shit I did on a daily basis. I didnt want her to look at me like the monster I was... I wanted her just to see the husband, the father, the fucked up guy who obviously didnt pay enough attention in high school to know the difference between Chemistry and Biology. Her focus went back to her book and I closed my eyes, enjoying the silence. I could hear her humming lightly, soft gasps coming from her as she got lost in her book. It was her favorite thing to do anymore and shed spend hours telling me about all the fucking stories she read, talking about the characters as if she really knew them. I didnt exactly share her love of reading, but I definitely didnt mind listening to her talk. Oh, I forgot to tell you, she said after awhile, shattering the silence. I jumped at the sound of her voice, damn near asleep before she spoke. Emmett called me. I was already annoyed again just at the sound of his name. For what? He wanted to suggest a name for the baby, she said. He thinks we should name her Emily. I sat up, looking at her. Emily was strangely normal compared to the shit hed suggested to me. Why Emily? She smiled. Its a combination of Emmett and Rosalie. He thinks that since theyll be her godparents that... Theyre not going to be the godparents, Bella. Not that dumbass and his bitchy wife. No fucking way. She sighed dramatically. Whatever you say. Yeah, you remember that, I said. Whatever I say. But this is supposed to be a democracy, not a dictatorship. It isnt a dictatorship. Its a fucking monarchy.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

She laughed. Okay, King Edward. I smirked. I could get used to that shit. "That's right, babe," I said, reaching over to place my hand on her swollen stomach. "And our princess here deserves the best of the best." "And who, exactly, is that?" I had no answer. She had me there. ~*~

The Part in Which I Drown In Pink (but not the good kind)
If there was one thing that should've been clear to me the moment we found out we were having a girl, it was that we'd be buying a whole lot of pink. But acknowledging that and standing by while it actually happened were two completely different levels of acceptance. I was standing in the middle of Babies R Us, an entire store of nothing but baby stuff, and I'd never felt so out of place in my life. Standing in the middle of a dark alley, surrounded by men with guns and itchy fucking trigger fingers, was even less awkward than this place was turning out to be. My cart was packed full of shit, from blankets to pacifiers, clothes to toys, and about ninety percent of it was some shade of pink. I fucking loathed the color, detested it with a passion, and here I was dropping practically a year's salary on as much of it as possible. It made me sick to my stomach. "Isn't this adorable?" Isabella asked, holding up a tiny t-shirt. Pink, of course. Always fucking pink. "It's alright." Isabella glanced at the price tag, a look of shock on her face. "It's almost twenty dollars." Christ, and I was accused of robbing people of their hard earned money. This place was ridiculous. "Twenty dollars is a lot for a shirt that would barely even fit on my dick." "Does it want it?" she joked, her eyes darting straight for my crotch. Fucking tease. "My dick?" I asked. She nodded and I laughed. "Tesoro, if you want to get the shirt and play dress up with my dick, you'll get no objections from me. You could even put lipstick on the motherfucker if it meant you'd play with it again." She rolled her eyes, putting the shirt back on the rack before wandering away without another word. She'd been insatiable for awhile after the morning sickness subsided, barely able to keep

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

her hands off of me, and I savored every fucking minute of it. But as the weeks passed, so did her desire. We were getting to the point where she was uncomfortable and tired, barely able to tolerate me with clothes on, much less naked. It was crazy to me how much shit there was for babies. Car seats. Sun visors. Play pens. Bottles. Pacifiers. Swaddling blankets. Burp cloths. Slings. Bassinets. Swings. Papasans. Cribs. Bathtubs. Mobiles. Diapers... a lot of fucking diapers. Wipes. Formula. Body wash. Baby powder. Rash ointment. Diaper bags. Socks, onesies, sleepers, sleep sacks. Dresses, pants, shirts, hats. A coat, shoes, bows, bibs. More clothes than I had, but still probably not enough. There was special laundry detergent and baby-safe cleaning supplies. There were thermometers and nail scissors, special medications and nasal aspirators for sucking snot out of the nose. That fucking disturbed me, even thinking about using that goddamn thing. And baby-proofing... there were plugs for the wall and covers for the outlets. They had locks for cabinets, drawers, toilets, doors and refrigerators; guards for stoves, shelves, doorways and stairs. I was surprised they just didn't sell goddamn bubbles to stick the baby in, like those little hamster balls they had at the pet store. Neither Isabella nor I knew what the fuck we were doing. We had no idea what babies needed, so we just bought one of everything. She protested about the cost but I just threw the shit in the cart and continued on. "Why are you getting that?" Isabella asked when I picked up a small box and tossed in it the overflowing cart of pink shit. "I don't know," I asked, glancing at it. "What is it?" She laughed. "The box says its a wipes warmer." "Wipes warmer?" "Yes. I assume that means it warms the wipes," she said. "Smart ass," I mumbled. "That doesn't sound necessary." "I don't think it is," she replied, her eyes scanning the cart. "None of this is, really. We could make do without." "Bella, I'm not making do without anything," I replied. "You know me. If there's something that's going to make my life easier, I'm getting the motherfucker." "Oh, I know. It's just..." She hesitated, biting her bottom lip nervously as she glanced at the shelf where the wipes warmer had come from. I waited for her to say it was too expensive or try to talk me out of buying it, completely prepared to counteract anything she had to say. Anything, of course, except for what she actually said. "Do you think you could maybe get the pink one instead?"

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

I stared at her for a moment before switching the wipes warmers and she smiled, turning to walk away. Pink shit... I was drowning in fucking pink. ~*~

That Part in Which I Say Too Much (most of it the wrong thing)
The moment I opened the front door, the scent hit me and I cringed. It was so strong it made my eyes burn, singeing my tiny fucking nose hairs as I took it in my lungs. It was a harsh scent, one I'd hated my entire life. It was the bitter smell of cleaning products -- Pinesol, Pledge and what the fuck ever other lemony shit Isabella could get her hands on. I stepped inside, seeing everything was practically sparkling. The house was usually clean but this... this was fucking unnatural. Nesting, they called it, according to the ridiculous 'The Expectant Father' pregnancy book Isabella bought for me. I didn't read much of the motherfucker, thinking it was unnecessary, but I made it far enough to know she'd be doing some crazy shit like this. They said it was like birds getting their nests ready to lay eggs -- Isabella was getting her home ready to bring her baby to it. "Bella?" I called out, shutting the front door carefully behind me, almost afraid to move. I wondered if I should take off my shoes, not wanting to fuck up her floors since I could see my goddamn reflection in them. "In here," she yelled from the kitchen. I made my way in that direction, pausing in the doorway when I saw her sitting at the kitchen table. She had a pair of scissors in her hand and a stack of papers were scattered on the table in front of her. She was cutting something out of one of them and it took a second for it to register what she was doing. Tesoro, are you clipping coupons? She glanced at me and smiled, nodding. Yep. Why? I asked, strolling toward her. It didnt escape my notice that the kitchen was also spotless, every inch of it shining. There wasnt even a single motherfucking fingerprint on the stainless steel refrigerator and I wasnt sure that had ever happened before. To save money, she replied, giving me a strange look before focusing back on her coupons. She finished cutting one out and set it aside before moving on to the next. I picked it up, seeing

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

it was for $1 off of six cans of tuna. You dont even like tuna, Bella. No, but you do." I lay the coupon back down and shook my head. Yes, but I dont like it that goddamn much, I said. Maybe a can every now and then, but I dont need six of the motherfuckers. She shrugged. The cat will eat it. I glanced around the room, seeing the little fur ball was nowhere in sight. It was probably outside killing something. Thats ridiculous. It doesnt need people food -- it eats cat food and shit like birds. Isabella cringed. Thats disgusting, Edward. Maybe so, but its true, I said. I saw that little shithead in a tree yesterday going after one. She looked at me with horror and I tensed up, feeling like an asshole when she burst into tears. He killed a bird? No, I quickly lied, not wanting to upset her anymore. Theres no way it got the motherfucker. But he tried? Yes, I said. I mean, no. Fuck, I dont know! It was probably just playing. You know, like Sylvester and Tweety. Sylvester hated Tweety! No, that shit was all just an act, I said. I had no idea what I was saying, but I needed to diffuse the situation quickly. They loved each other. You know, like Tom and Jerry. Tom hated Jerry, too! Shit. Christ, Bella, calm down. Its not that serious. It was a game, you know, like hide and seek or tag. He wouldnt have hurt the goddamn bird. How can you be sure? I wasnt. In fact, I was pretty sure of the opposite, but I wasnt telling her that shit. Because, I mean, its like me and Rose, I said. You know, we talk shit but thats all it is -- talk. You dont hate Rose?

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

No. You love her? she asked, staring at me imploringly. The tears were slowing, a look of calm overcoming her face. Uh, yeah, of course I do, I replied, unable to hide the cringe as I said it. I tolerated Rose and yeah, a part of me cared about her, but love? Love was a strong goddamn word. Im gonna go take a shower, I said, needing to get out of there before I said something else to upset her. I started to walk away when I heard her gasp, the sound echoing through the room. I turned back to her and saw the look of shock on her face, her eyes fixated on me intently. She shoved her chair back and stood up quickly, startling me. Christ, Bella, I said I loved her, I said, caught off guard. What the fuck? She opened her mouth to speak, but her face contorted before she could get any words out. She dropped the scissors and they hit the floor with a clatter as she doubled over, clutching her stomach. Oh god, she groaned loudly. Oh God, that hurts. My eyes widened in shock and I just stood there, frozen in horror. Oh fuck.

~*~

The Part in Which We Almost Run Out of Time (after I damn near kill us)
I sped down the road, weaving through traffic and blowing through stop signs without slowing down. Isabella was yelling at me from the passenger seat but I barely heard her, my attention elsewhere. All I could think about was getting to the fucking hospital and getting there as fast as humanly possible. You need to slow down! Bella yelled as a car horn blared somewhere to the right of us. I had no idea where it came from or why, but I didnt really give a fuck. Those bastards would stop if they knew what was good for them. Seriously, Edward! Slow down! Theres no time for that, Bella, I muttered, blowing through another stop sign. There was a squealing of tires followed by another horn, and I laid my hands down on the steering wheel to blow mine right back. Fucking rude assholes. Didnt they know this was a goddamn emergency? Isabella groaned loudly and I glanced over at her, on the verge of panicking. Shit, you okay?

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

No, Im not! Slow down! I immediately hit the brakes, harder than I intended to, and we were both jolted forward roughly. I cursed and she grabbed a hold of the dashboard, bracing herself. Sorry, I said. Its okay," she said, shaking her head. "Just slow down, alright? Dont make me kick you out of the drivers seat. I rolled my eyes, laughing dryly. Id like to see you try. The rest of the drive was certainly less eventful. I tried to obey the speed limit -- key word tried -- and made a point to stop every time the fucking sign said I was supposed to. It only took a few more minutes to get to the hospital and I whipped the car in the first spot I saw that was open toward the front. I was pretty sure it was reserved for someone, probably a fucking doctor, but I didnt care. I helped Isabella out of the car and she looked around, her brow furrowed. Did you get the bag? Bag? She sighed, shaking her head. I packed a bag, Edward. Its in the back. Oh, I said, glancing in the back seat and seeing a black duffel bag. Where the fuck had I been when she brought it to the car? I had no knowledge of a bag. I grabbed the bag and helped Isabella inside the closest entrance, which happened to be the emergency room. The place was packed, nearly every seat filled with a line leading up to the admissions window. I pulled Isabella by the hand past them all, shoving some motherfucker out of the way to get to the front. He yelled but I just ignored him, having no time for bullshit. My wifes in labor, I told the nurse sitting behind the desk. Youll have to get in line, sir, she said, not even bothering to look up at me. What the fuck do you mean I have to get in line? We dont have time for a line. This is a goddamn emergency! Yes, well, this is the emergency room, she replied. Everyone here has an emergency. Bullshit, I spat, turning to the guy beside me that Id shoved. He was obviously fucking annoyed, but he looked more bored than anything. What the hell about this guy is an emergency? He looks fine. My chest, he replied, reaching up to rub it. It hurts.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

I stared at him with disbelief. Heartburn? Eat some fucking Tums." Chest pains? the nurse asked, jumping up quickly like her chair was on fire. Come with me, sir. I was completely fucking baffled as they scurried away, leaving us standing there. Come on, Isabella said impatiently. We can wait in line. But... Just come on, she said, tugging on my arm. It's not so bad. We have time." The moment those words were spoken she cried out, doubling over like shed done in the house. I went to help her but froze, both of us gasping when the large wet spot suddenly appeared on the floor by her feet. Oh god, she said. I think I just..." ...ran out of time? ~*~

The Part in Which My Daughter is Born (I want to beat the shit out of a doctor or two)
I paced the room anxiously, running my hand through my hair over and over again. It hadn't taken long for us to get some help, her water breaking in the middle of the emergency room apparently constituting an actual emergency to those motherfuckers. We'd been taken straight to the Labor & Delivery floor, where Isabella was hooked up to monitors by a nurse while I filled out all the paperwork I was supposed to do downstairs. Three hours had passed already and we'd yet to have anything happen, except for more pain for Isabella and a lot of frustration for me. Isabella groaned as another contraction hit and I stopped abruptly, eyeing her. "You okay, tesoro? Do you need anything?" "Ugh, I'm fine. Are you going to ask me that every time?" "Maybe," I replied. Wasn't I supposed to? I was pretty sure that was my job. "Please don't," she said, shaking her head. "If you want to help me, you can relax." "Relax?" I asked. How the hell was I supposed to do that? She was in labor and I was on the verge of a panic attack, and she wanted me to fucking relax? "Yes, relax," she replied, laying back and smiling softly at me as she motioned toward a chair beside the bed. "Come sit with me."

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

I sighed and strolled over to the bed, pulling the chair closer before sitting down. She reached out to me and I took her hand, kissing the back of it. How are you so calm? I asked. Its not so bad, she replied with a shrug. Its natural. Natural, I mumbled, gently caressing the skin on her hand with my thumb. I wasn't so sure natural was a word I'd personally use to describe what I knew was going to come. She was going to be squeezing a watermelon through a fucking tube 1/4th its size. That shit wasn't natural. Magical, maybe, but definitely not natural. That shit defied the laws of gravity. Or maybe it was physics... what the fuck ever. Did I look like a goddamn scientist? "How are we doing in here?" a nurse asked as she strolled into the room, her voice way too fucking chipper. It grated on my already frazzled nerves. "Wonderful," I said sarcastically. "Would be a lot fucking better if the doctor showed up soon." The nurse smiled as she walked over toward us, not seeming put off by my attitude. She checked the monitors Isabella was hooked up to before putting on a pair of rubber gloves. "The doctor will be here later. How about I check to see how far you're progressing?" I wanted to object, because she wasn't the doctor so I didn't want her between my wife's legs, but Isabella shot me a look that clearly told me to keep my mouth shut. She knew me far too well. I kept my mouth shut as the nurse checked her quickly, tossing her gloves in the trash when she was finished. "You're three centimeters dilated and about forty percent effaced." Isabella nodded like that shit made sense, but I had no idea what she was talking about. "Uh, what exactly does that mean?" "What that means, Mr. Cullen, is that you have a long night ahead of you, she said, clasping her hand on my shoulder and laughing before heading for the door. Contrary to what I'd said in the emergency room, we hadn't been out of time. In fact, it seemed time was all we had. Hours passed as we sat there, the clock ticking away at a steady pace. The nurse returned a few more times to check Isabella and each time she was a little bit further along, but nothing substantial. Nothing to apparently warrant a doctor showing up. I ran out for ice chips and freeze pops about a dozen times, since it was all Isabella was allowed to have, and I walked the halls with her twice when she was given clearance to move around. I felt fucking helpless the entire time, just sitting around and waiting. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel. Waiting for Isabellas pain to go away. Waiting for my daughter to finally make an appearance. A few hours eventually turned into the next motherfucking day, but it barely seemed to phase

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

Isabella. I could tell she was hurting but she stayed strong, fighting through the contractions and never losing her cool. She was patient... a lot more patient than I could be. I was on the verge of either punching someone or pulling my fucking hair out. It was nearing dawn of that next day and Isabella had been asleep for about an hour, while I dozed on and off, unable to get comfortable in the chair. I was changing position for probably the hundredth time when the door to the room opened, the nurse quietly making her way inside. I watcher her as she looked at the monitors, her eyes shifting toward me after a moment like shed sensed my gaze. Cant sleep? she asked quietly. I shook my head and she smiled, her expression understanding. Nervous? I hesitated. I was tired and impatient, but was I nervous? I guess so. Its normal, she said. But dont worry -- everything looks great. Your baby will be here soon and all of the wait will have been worth it. Yeah, I know, I replied, glancing at Isabella. She looked so fucking peaceful, like she had not a care in the world. How the hell can she sleep through this? Good question, the nurse said. Shes handling it all better than most Ive seen. Usually by now theyre screaming for pain killers. Pain killers, I grumbled. I could use some fucking pain killers. She laughed. I bet. Too bad you dont need them. Yeah, too bad. The nurse surveyed the monitors once more before leaving and I lay back in the chair. I was on the verge of unconsciousness when Isabella spoke, jolting me back awake. Drugs are bad. I opened my eyes and glanced at her, seeing she was watching me carefully. Maybe so, but they feel nice. She smiled softly. Yeah, but they're not worth the trouble. So you say. Im surprised you arent asking for some, though." Why? I just told you they werent worth the trouble. Yeah, but its not like theyre illegal. It's gotta hurt, tesoro. Its not so bad, she replied with a shrug. I looked at her like she was fucking crazy and she laughed. Honestly, it's not. I mean, it definitely doesnt feel good, but Ive felt worse. And besides, my mom did this alone, you know. She gave birth in the middle of the night, in the middle of a barn. She couldnt even make noise and she got up the next day to do her work like

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

none of it happened. If she did that when she was just a kid, then this is no big deal. As long as Im not alone, as long as I have you, I dont need drugs or any of that. I know Ill be okay. Her response surprised me. Id never really thought about her mother and what shed gone through to have Isabella. Id never hung around while a woman was in labor, but I recalled hearing Rosalie scream from down the fucking hall when she had Little C. I couldnt imagine someone going through that shit, much less doing it all on their own. Youll always have me, I said. Youll never have to be alone, tesoro. I know, she said, reaching for my hand. Youre not stupid enough to leave me twice. Her words were playful and we both laughed, the atmosphere suddenly lighter despite the seriousness of the situation. I held her hand and we chatted for a while until her contractions started to get significantly worse. They were coming quicker and I could tell they were more painful, because shed close her eyes and her breath would hitch, all conversation ceasing. We went through a few rounds of them before the tears started to flow from her eyes, a small crack showing in her tough exterior. Her breathing was labored and I was starting to panic again, feeling fucking helpless. Isnt there some kind of breathing you can do? I asked, regretting the fact that we never bothered to take any birthing classes they'd offered. You know, that hee-hee-hoo kinda shit they do on TV? She laughed dryly. Its kind of hard to hee-hee-hoo, Edward, when I cant even... Her words cut off abruptly as another contraction hit, this one obviously a hell of a lot worse than any before it. She cried out, startling me, and was so fucking loud the nurse heard her from the hallway. She rushed inside, flicking on the lights and I cringed, shielding my eyes from the harsh florescence. The bitch started chattering in her chipper voice, looking over the monitors before saying she needed to check Isabella. I got up and started pacing again while she did, unsure of what to do with myself. Wow, youre almost at a ten, the nurse declared, pulling off her gloves and tossing them in the trash. That was fast. Fast? It felt like fucking forever. I feel like I... Isabella started, cringing from another contraction. Oh God, I need to push. Dont push yet, the nurse said, her chipper voice suddenly stern. Ill get the doctor. She left and I paced for a moment longer until Isabella cried out again. I slid back into my chair, wishing I could take her pain away, and grabbed her hand again. Its alright, tesoro. Its almost over, I said, hoping like hell I wasnt lying to her. I want it to be over now, she said, shaking her head as the tears steadily flowed. I brushed

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

them away with my free hand. I know you do. Just squeeze my hand when the shit hurts if you need to and keep holding on. The moment I said those words another contraction hit her, those motherfuckers coming back to back. She yelled and squeezed my hand, pain ripping through it from her grip. I cursed, surprised I hadnt heard my bones fucking crack from the force. Christ, when did you get so strong? Wheres the doctor? she gasped. I need to push. Now. I looked around frantically, completely at a loss of what to do. Uh, fuck... I started, considering going out to see but I doubted shed let go of my hand. I debated literally yelling for the motherfuckers before just reaching for the nurses button, pressing it over and over again. Within a matter of moments another contraction hit Isabella and the door to the room was flung open, the nurse rushing in. She was followed by a few others, none of which Id ever fucking seen before. I need to push, Isabella yelled. I need to... I cant... Oh God... A man with blond hair that was slightly graying around the ears walked up to the bed, pulling on a pair of latex gloves. Mrs. Cullen, Im Dr. Riley Biers. Im going to be delivering your baby today. I tensed at his words, looking at him incredulously. What the fuck did you just say? He seemed taken aback by my outburst and turned to eye me warily. Uh, I said I'd be delivering the baby to-- The fuck you are, I spat, shaking my head. You arent doing a goddamn thing so you may as well walk right back out that door! Edward... Isabella started, but I didnt even give her time to finish. Where the hell is Dr. Marshall? I asked, annoyed. Shes supposed to be here for the delivery. Shes on vacation, the nurse chimed in. Vacation? Were having a baby and that bitch is on vacation? Edward, please... No, Bella, this is fucked up! Shes supposed to do this! Im handling her patients this week for her, Dr. Biers tried to explain, but I didnt give a shit what he had to say. I didnt care what sort of deal he had worked out with Dr. Marshall, because

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

it wasnt going to work. No one had cleared it with us before hand, and I refused to accept I had no choice in the matter. This shit was important. No fucking man was getting between my wifes thighs for any reason. Well, youre not handling this one, I said. You better go call Dr. Marshall and tell her to bring her ass back here. Not possible, Dr. Biers said. Theres no time. Shes in Florida, the nurse explained. I started to calculate in my head how far away Florida was and how long it would take her to get back to Las Vegas, even though I knew I was being ridiculous. I couldnt help it, though. I was exhausted and anxious, on edge and admittedly even a bit frightened. Wed never been through this shit before. Isabella was hurting and there was nothing I could do to make her pain go away. We were at the mercy of the doctor... a doctor I didnt fucking know, a doctor I instantly didnt fucking like. I, uh... I started, having no idea where I was going with my statement, but it didnt matter. Before I could get anything else out Isabella yelled, everything fading away except for her. She was all that mattered. Things moved fast from that point, everything a blur. I stood beside Isabellas bed, holding her right hand between both of mine as the doctor and nurse prepared for the delivery. I made no more objections, remaining quiet as two more nurses made their way into the room. Before I knew it the doctor was telling Isabella to push, the relief rolling off of her damn near palpable. Squeezing my hand tightly, she bore down right away and grunted loudly. I wasnt sure how much time passed -- couldve been hours, but it felt like mere minutes. Isabella pushed with every contraction, her face bright red from the force and her forehead damp with sweat. I told her how great she was doing, even though I had no fucking clue if it was really true. I was proud of her, though. She was so goddamn strong. Sweaty and exhausted, tears flowing from her eyes and her voice hoarse from crying out, but shed never been more fucking beautiful to me. Scary, yes -- a few moments shed let out a scream reminiscent of the fucking Exorcist -- but still... beautiful. Just a few more pushes, the doctor declared right before another contraction hit. Isabella braced herself and pushed as hard as she could, a curse slipping from her lips in the process. I looked at her, fucking stunned, as the doctor smiled. The heads out. Just the head? Isabella grumbled, panting. I cracked a smile and wiped the sweat from her forehead, brushing her tears with the back of my fingers. Almost done, I said. Youre doing so fucking good, baby. Im proud of you.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

She cut her eyes at me, her expression telling me she didnt fucking believe it. I think... she started, stopping abruptly to take a deep breath. Oh God, I think I need to push again already. Give me a big one, Dr. Biers said. Isabella grunted and bore down again, needing no more instruction. The nurses urged her on when her strength started to waver but I was at a fucking loss, my attention having drifted toward the doctor. I could see the sheet was soaked, blood and bodily fluid smeared all around. His latex gloves were covered with it and I suddenly felt queasy, stunned by the sight. It certainly wasnt like the movies; that shit was all dainty and clean. No, this looked like something out of a horror flick. Here she is! the doctor said. I watched in awe as he pulled the baby out, holding her up as a nurse grabbed a blanket. She placed it on Isabellas stomach and the doctor lay the baby on it, letting the nurse wrap her up quickly. Isabella gasped, her breaths shuddering as she grabbed a hold of the baby. She was smaller than I expected her to be, a tiny little thing with a head full of hair. Even wrinkly and covered in gooey shit, she was the most amazing thing Id ever fucking seen. She looked nothing like I expected her to look, but yet the moment I saw her I knew she was exactly how she shouldve been. She was a piece of the both of us -- the best of the both of us. I couldnt tell who she looked like, or even who shed be like, but I just knew it. She was fucking perfect. Perfect, Isabella whispered, echoing my same thoughts. I smiled as I glanced at her, tears starting to sting my eyes. Youre both perfect, I replied, leaning down to kiss her. My girls. ~*~

The Part in Which I Fall in Love (for the second time)


Here, Daddy, the nurse said, holding the baby out to me. I froze and gaped at her, too stunned to move. I wasnt sure what hit me hardest -- the fact that shed called me 'Daddy' (and that I was, indeed, someones fucking daddy), or that she was actually expecting me to hold the baby. I wasnt an idiot. I knew Id have to hold her and take care of her. She was my daughter, after all. But knowing I was going to do it, and believing I could do it, was a hell of a lot different than actually doing it. She was just too fucking small. She was fragile; I didnt want to break her. Because if anyone could fucking break her, it would be me. Id been hurting people my entire life. It was all I ever did.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

I, uh... I dont think I... I didnt even finish what I was saying... I didnt have a chance. The nurse thrust her in my arms and I tensed, speechless as the woman smiled knowingly and walked out. After she was gone I glanced down at the bundle I was holding, on the verge of panicking even though the baby was fast asleep. I stared into her face for a minute, studying her features, afraid to move. I didnt want to wake her, or even worse fucking drop her. After a while Isabella laughed from behind me, having stayed completely silent through the exchange. We were settled in a room on the maternity floor, where wed be staying for the next day or two. After the baby had been delivered, they cut the cord and dealt with the afterbirth. I knew little to nothing about any of that shit and was grateful for it, wanting absolutely nothing to do with any of the gory parts. It saw enough blood in my daily life. They cleaned both the baby and Isabella up after that, checking them out completely before relocating us upstairs. Shes not porcelain, you know, Isabella said, amused. Youre not going to hurt her. You cant know that, I said, turning slowly to face her. She smiled as she gazed at me, her expression full of love. I can and I do, she replied. Youre going to be great with her, Edward. Just relax. Again with the relaxing? I muttered. That words never been in my vocabulary. I know, she responded. Finicky. I laughed, shaking my head, but stopped myself abruptly when the baby stirred. Shit, shes moving, I whispered, about to panic again. Of course she is, she said. Shes going to move. Shell cry, too. Shit." Yeah, shell definitely do that, too," she responded with a laugh. But shell also smile, and laugh. Shell love you, you know, just like youll love her. I nodded, glancing down at her. She was already settled back into my arms, fast asleep again. I already love her. I know you do, she responded. It took a moment before I was comfortable enough to try to walk, slowly making my way over to the bed. I sat down beside Isabella, careful not to jar the baby. She needs a name, I said. Something that fits.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

Isabella reached over, gently running her fingers across the babys red cheeks. She was starting to look more human now that she was cleaned up and less like something out of Alien. She already has a name, Isabella said softly. I think shes had it all along. ~*~

The Part in Which We Find the Perfect Name (gotta love family)
Its Emma, isnt it? Emmett asked excitedly. I just know it. Youre naming her Emma Rose. I rolled my eyes and Isabella stifled a laugh as Emmetts voice rang through the speaker on my cell phone. I heard Rosalie shouting in the background, telling him he was stupid because we werent naming the baby after them. I smirked -- at least one of them had a brain. The simple fact that Id referred to Rosalie as the smart one in the family shouldve been the first red flag that I was heading toward sleep deprivation. Emmett fired back at her, defending himself, and I heard Esme sigh dramatically. You kids knock it off, she said. Get Jasper on three-way. I dont know how this thing works. If Im ever gonna do a three-way, Aunt Es, it isnt gonna be with Jasper... if you know what I mean, Emmett joked. I could practically see him waggling his eyebrows, the fucking pervert. Youre stupid, Em, I said. See, Edward agrees! Rosalie exclaimed. Yeah, I do, I replied. I was agreeing with Rosalie -- there was the second red flag. Whatever, Emmett grumbled. Hold on, Ill call him. It took a moment for Emmett to figure out how to work the three-way calling on his cell phone and dial our other brother in to the conversation. Please tell me you didnt name the baby after Emmett, Jasper said right away. I chuckled as Emmett protested yet again, the persistent fucker. Of course not, I said. Is everyone here now? Im fucking tired and ready to get off the phone." Yes, they all spoke in unison. Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice -- what was left of our family. Chelsea and Little C were probably somewhere around but they were still too young to be included, and as far as my only uncle went, well... I was sure he didnt give a shit about these things. We were all spread out through the country and couldn't be with each other physically,

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

but it was good to know I could still count on them when I needed. Good," I said. "The baby was born at eight-something p.m." 8:24, Isabella chimed in. Yeah, that. She was six pounds. And two ounces, she chimed in again. Nineteen inches. And three-quarters, Isabella clarified. She was like a fucking mockingbird. Wow, shes small, Rosalie said. Naw, shes not that small, Emmett said. Thats about as big as C. Seriously, Emmett? C was nine pounds! Six pounds, nine pounds... thats not that big a difference, Emmett said. I lose three pounds just going to the bathroom. There was a chorus of groans following his response. Em, you might just want to shut up, Jasper said. Yes, please do, Alice muttered. What did I say? Emmett asked defensively. Its true. I do. Yeah, but we dont need to hear about it, Alice said. Its gross. Oh, come on, Alice. Dont act like you dont do it... Another dramatic sigh from Esme. I dont know about you kids sometimes. Anyway, I said, shaking my head -- this was going to take all fucking night. We decided to name her Elizabeth... Elizabeth Brianna. There was a brief moment when everyone went completely silent. Wed named her after our mothers, something that meant a lot to both of us. I wasnt sure how my family was going to react to the news, but the fact that they werent reacting at all made me fucking nervous. It was Emmett who finally shattered the silence. I guess I was wrong, he said quietly. I didnt find the perfect name, after all... you did.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

~*~

The Part in Which I Wish They Came Out Potty-Trained (I hate my fucking nose)

"I can't do it," I said, shaking my head. "No motherfucking way, Bella." "Yes, you can," she said. "It's really easy." "If it's so fucking easy, why don't you just do it?" She sighed. "I have been doing it. Now it's your turn." "I pass." Her brow furrowed. "Pass?" "Yeah, I pass my turn, so it goes back to you." She rolled her eyes. "You can't pass, Edward. This isn't a game." "How about a rain-check then? I'll do it tomorrow." She shook her head. "Now." I sighed, resigned to the fact that I wasn't going to win the argument. If she wanted me to do it, I was going to have to fucking do it. "Fine, if you insist." She smiled in satisfaction while I wallowed in the self-pity of defeat as she held the tiny white diaper out to me. "I'm going to shower," she said, climbing out of the bed and clutching the flimsy hospital gown closed as she staggered away. I watched as she disappeared into the small bathroom, leaving me to fend for myself. I grabbed the container of wipes and stared at the sleeping baby for a second, considering the best way to go about it. I'd seen Isabella do it a few times already, but monitoring a situation and executing it were two entirely different things. I considered calling Jasper, given he was the most strategic one of the family and could always come up with a plan, but I knew that motherfucker had never changed a diaper in his life. I could ask Emmett since hed dealt with his fair share of dirty diapers, but he'd probably laugh me off of the phone. I was on my own with this. There was no one to help me. I could smell it through the diaper, clothes and blanket she was swaddled in. It was offensive and made my stomach churn. I'd smelled some horrible things in my life but this... this was defcon level dangerous. Alert the fucking authorities -- we had a weapon of mass destruction on our

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

hands. I slowly started unwrapping her, trying not to wake her up, and I gagged the moment I took the diaper off. Shit was everywhere -- fucking literally -- and I held my breath as I wiped her off as quickly as I could. I wasn't as skilled as Isabella at it and nowhere near as fast, so it didn't go as smooth as it had for her. Elizabeth woke up mid-way through and started screaming at the top of her lungs, not happy in the least to be disturbed. I tried to calm her down but it was no use, her face turning red as she lost her breath from screeching. After a few moments I finally got a fresh diaper on her and carefully picked her up, still trying to calm her down. I paced with her for a minute before Isabella emerged from the bathroom and was about to speak when a grumbling sound stopped me. I stood there, shocked when the sickly scent hit me once more. "Fuck, already?!" Isabella cringed when I tried to hand the baby to her. "Pass." ~*~

The Part in Which I Decide to be Responsible (or try, for that matter)
The two days that followed were a blur, filled with inconsolable crying and ungodly shitty diapers. I rocked her, I walked her, I fed her, I burped her and I changed her, Isabella and I sneaking in small naps whenever Elizabeth let us fall asleep. It was exhausting and everything in my life felt completely out of my control. That tiny little girl, only two days old, already dictated what I could do and when I could do it. I had always complained that Alec controlled my life, but he had nothing on Elizabeth. I couldn't even take a piss without her blessing. It was nearing dusk of that second day when Dr. Biers showed up, his nose buried in a file as he lingered by the doorway. How are you feeling? he asked, not even bothering to look up at us. Great, Isabella replied. Good, he said. Seems like everythings in order. Ill sign your discharge papers so you can go home tonight." Thank you, Isabella said, but he didnt stick around to hear it. He was already back out the door before the words came out of her mouth. I dont like that motherfucker, I muttered. Im not surprised, Isabella said. You dont like anyone. I like you, I responded, pausing before adding, most of the time."

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

Well, I like you all the time. Bullshit. The only person who likes me all the time is me. She laughed and didnt disagree, because she knew it was the truth. Anyone who claimed they liked someone else all of the time was either a fucking liar or they didnt really know the person at all. Less than an hour later we had everything packed up and were heading out of the hospital. I located my car still parked in some doctor's spot, grateful they hadnt towed the motherfucker. I pulled up to the front of the building and helped Isabella into the passenger seat, eyeing the carseat in the back warily as I took the baby. After a moment I slipped her into it, putting the little seatbelt around her and clicking it into place. I climbed into the drivers seat and started the car up again, slowly heading out of the parking lot. Did you get her in right? Isabella asked. Yeah. Are you sure? Did you put the belt around her and secure the chest clip? Of course I did, I replied, shooting her a strange look. Did she think I was that incompetent? Why? I was just asking, she said, shrugging. I mean, you never wear yours, so I just thought... I sighed, shaking my head as I reached for my seatbelt and secured it quickly. Happy? I asked. She smiled. You know I am. I nodded, focusing back on the road as I reached over to take her hand. Yeah, I do. I drove us home, a comfortable silence overtaking the car, and for the first time in probably my entire goddamn life, I actually obeyed the speed limit.

~*~

The Part in Which Life Goes On As Usual (even though, for once, I wish it would slow down)
I heard soft footsteps across the old wooden floor, quietly heading in my direction. After a moment the bed beside me dipped and I opened my eyes, glancing at my wife. "She's finally asleep in her crib," Isabella whispered, sighing in relief.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"How long do you think that will last?" "Her being asleep? I don't know, an hour or two." "No, I meant her sleeping in the crib." Isabella smiled sheepishly as she snuggled up to my chest, not even bothering to humor me with an answer. We hadn't talked much about it, but I knew my wife well. She'd spent the first sixteen years of her life right by her mothers side, every waking moment in her shadow and sleeping beside her every night. I knew I'd have my bed invaded eventually. I wasnt an idiot. "It's good to be out of that hospital," she said after a moment. "I've never been so happy to be home before." I smiled, kissing the top of her head. "That's how I feel every night when I come home to you. Youre such a sweet talker, she said, nudging me playfully. You dont have to woo me, you know. You already have me. I dont woo, Bella, I said. Its not my style. I just tell the truth and people love me for it. She laughed. I dont think they love you for it, Edward. They love you despite it. Touch. Whatever, same difference. The point is they fucking love me. They do, she replied. No one more than me, though. I pulled her closer to me, wrapping my arms around her tightly and reveling in the warmth radiating from her body. I love you, too, tesoro. Sempre, she mumbled. Her voice was low, the word slightly slurred. I could tell she was about ready to pass the fuck out already and couldn't blame her for it. I was exhausted, too. Sempre, I replied. Mere seconds later she was snoring lightly, sleep taking me not long after. I wasnt sure how long I was out of it before I was jarred back awake by a ringing, and I opened my eyes to a pitch black room. Sitting up, I ran my hands down my face as I tried to wake myself up and glanced around, looking for the source of the noise. I spotted a faint glow on the floor and cursed, grabbing my cell phone. What? I answered it, my voice hoarse. I didnt even bother to look at the screen to see who was calling, way too fucking groggy to think clearly. There was a brief moment of complete silence that made me wonder if maybe whoever it was

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

had hung up. I was about to hang up myself when the last person I wanted to hear spoke on the line. What makes you think speaking to me that way is acceptable? Alec asked, his tone clipped. The sound of it woke me up quickly and I tensed, running my hand through my hair anxiously. Uh, shit, sorry, I responded. I was asleep and didnt think... Dont do it again, he said. I understand you have a lot going on but thats no excuse for disrespect. Yes, sir, I muttered. I know you just got home but there are some things you need to handle that cant wait. You need to collect on your bookmakers, your numbers need to be checked up on and that shylock that runs down near 53rd street still hasnt been dealt with. I sighed, frustrated, as I glanced at the small alarm clock beside the bed. It was nearing midnight. Now? Yes, now. Ive been patient, Edward... a lot more patient than anyone else wouldve been. You know what the oath stated -- you know your responsibilities with us. Handle them. Yes, sir. He hung up as I climbed out of bed, stretching. Slipping my phone into my pocket, I glanced at Isabella and saw that she was out cold. The blanket was loosely wrapped around her sleeping form, her head buried into the pillow and a look of pure contentment on her face. She looked so much at peace, finally able to rest after a few days of chaos. I felt guilty having to leave but knew I had no choice. If Alec said go, I had to fucking go. I walked over to the small desk, feeling around in the darkness for some paper. I found a scrap piece and a pen, quickly scribbling a note for Isabella. I knew shed be pissed that I didnt wake her, but I couldnt bear to disturb her peace. Handling shit. You know. Love you. I made sure I had everything I needed before heading out of the room. I started down the hallway but hesitated after a few steps, turning back around. I slowly made my way into the nursery across from our bedroom, tiptoeing over to the wooden crib. The soft glow of the nightlight gave me enough light to see Elizabeth was fast asleep, swaddled snugly with a pink blanket. She looked so fucking tiny in the middle of the big, empty crib, so vulnerable and helpless. It was still surreal, her being there. It was hard to believe she was mine, that a part of me carried on inside of her. Not just a part of me, but also a part of Bella. It was almost like being immortal, knowing that no matter what happened to me, Id live on. It made

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

me feel untouchable, invincible. Fucking unstoppable. I was on top of the world, everything I never knew I always wanted right there in front of me. She was my life -- literally. Our life. I reached my hand down and gently brushed my fingertips across her chubby cheek. She stirred a bit from the contact but stayed asleep. La mia bella bambina, I whispered. Welcome home, principessa.

~*~

The Part in Which I Need a Vacation (Four Years Later)


I stared into the beady eyes across the room, my hands gripping the arms of the chair I sat in. They stared back, not blinking or wavering at all, and my skin felt like it was fucking crawling. I hated being stared down, unable to know what was going through their minds as they eyed me up. I wasn't an idiot, nor was I naive. I knew they were plotting, and I could just imagine what sort of fucking petty scheme they were coming up with just to fuck with me. They always acted so goddamn innocent but I knew better--there was nothing wholesome about that motherfucker. They were evil--pure motherfucking 'I will kill you in your sleep and piss on your corpse before I curl up with your wife' evil--but they weren't going to get the best of me. No fucking way. I wouldn't be bullied or intimidated, especially while sitting in my own goddamn house. "Stop looking at me," I spat, snatching a pillow from behind me and flinging it across the room. It hit the small black cat and it yelped, quickly scurrying away. "That's what I thought, motherfucker." "Belllllaaaaa!" I groaned at the loud voice, running my hands down my face in frustration. "Uncle Edward said a bad word!" "No, I didn't," I lied, glancing behind me at where my godson stood, lingering halfway in the hall. He still looked just like his mother, bright blond hair and blue eyes with pasty, pale skin to go along with it, but he'd changed a lot. We still called him Little C, but there's was nothing little about the boy. He definitely had his father's stature and, at seven years old, was already deeply immersed in sports. Emmett loved that shit, bragged all the time that he had a future Heisman trophy winner on his hands. I didn't doubt the shit for a moment. That little fucker was fierce. C eyed me carefully, as if actually considering the fact that I could be telling the truth, and I didn't feel a smidgen of guilt for lying to him. I never felt bad lying to kids, to be honest. I figured they benefited from us lying about Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy, so who gave a shit if I slipped in a few more lies here and there?

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"You did, too," he said finally when I stood up from the chair and walked over, snatching the pillow back off of the floor. "You said a bad word and you threw something at Shadow." Shadow, my ass. More like fucking Lucifer. "No, I didn't." "Did, too!" he insisted. "I saw you do it!" "You were seeing things," I replied, tossing the pillow back on the chair. He narrowed his eyes at me and I chuckled, shaking my head. He'd been spending the summer with us while his little brother, Emmett Jr., went to Washington with Jasper and Alice. Those two were finally fucking married but didn't have any kids yet. They were having problems conceiving, something about Alice's uterus... I wasn't sure, honestly. I didn't pay much attention to specifics--I could barely tolerate talk about my own wife's plumbing. Emmett and Rosalie had spent the summer overseas, traveling around Europe for some new job Emmett took with a finance company. I wasnt sure what the fuck my brother did for a living, really, except he wore a suit and carried a briefcase that wasn't full of unmarked bills. They'd even met up with Esme and Alec in Italy for a bit last month and I couldn't deny the fact that I was jealous. I wanted to go, but I had to fucking 'work'. No matter how much I begged and pleaded, Alec wouldn't budge. He joked I'd used up all of my 'vacation days' for the year so I couldn't have time off. Yeah, he thought he had a sense of humor now, but I still didn't find him fucking funny. Asshole. Before C could counter my argument, like I knew he fucking would, a loud scream echoed through the house as footsteps hurriedly descended the stairs. The screeching grew louder, eventually mixing with some stomping, and I braced myself for the firestorm that was headed my way. Shadow, who had snuck his way back in the room to stare at me some goddamn more, heard the commotion and bolted out of sight. I envied the little fucker for being able to hide... there was no help for me. She was a fucking torpedo and I was the target. It didn't matter what I did -when she detonated, she would find me. C moved to the side to get out of the line of fire and I watched as four year old Elizabeth flew into the room, clutching tightly onto a piece of paper. She rammed right into me, sending me stumbling, and started laughing as she wrapped her little arms around my legs. She looked up at me with her wide green eyes, her bright red hair pulled up in pigtails. Everything about the girl was a miniature clone of me, from her looks to her attitude, even down to her finicky nature. Chaotic and determined, she left a path of destruction wherever she went and was a force to be reckoned with. In essence, she was a tiny, female Edward Cullen... The world was in big fucking trouble when she grew up.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"Libby, use your inside voice," Isabella called calmly from the kitchen. Elizabeth continued to make noise but her voice dropped down an octave instantly at her mother's command. Isabella was pretty much the only person that could tame the fucking wildfire, which shouldn't have been a surprise considering she was the only one that could tame me. "I drew you a picture, Daddy!" Elizabeth declared, letting go of my legs and shoving the wrinkled paper at me. I took it carefully, my brow furrowing when I saw the entire page was covered in nothing but black. "Uh, it's nice, piccola," I said. "What is it?" "It's a tornado!" she said excitedly, immediately starting to twirl in circles as she imitated one. "Oh, so it's a self-portrait?" Elizabeth rolled her eyes dramatically as she laughed. "You're so silly, Daddy!" I smiled as I sat the picture down on the coffee table and playfully tugged one of her pigtails. When I pulled my hand away I noticed I'd left a black streak behind and quickly looked at my hand, seeing smears of black on my palm. "What did you use to make that picture?" She shrugged. "Marker?" She posed it as a question and I knew right away she was trying to get one over on me. "Don't you lie to me, Libby Cullen," I said seriously. She smiled innocently, refusing to answer, and I groaned when I noticed she was suspiciously hiding her hands from me. "Goddamnit." "Ohhhh, he said another bad word!" C declared. I glared at him and he just smiled triumphantly, not at all intimidated. I was losing my edge. I didn't even scare a seven year old. "Daddy said a bad word!" Elizabeth shouted, jumping up and down. "Gimme monies!" "Libby, inside voice!" Isabella said firmly. "And stop jumping in the house!" I glanced over as she walked into the room, frowning. Elizabeth stopped jumping, turning to her mother with a smile, and Isabella's eyes widened with shock. "What's in your hair?" "She said it was marker but I guarantee she got into your fu--freaking paints again," I stated. Both of the kids look at me excitedly and I threw my hands up. "What? I didn't say it!" Isabella sighed, exasperated. "Libby, go upstairs and strip for a bath. C, that bedroom better be clean by the time I get up there. You've had a few days to do it." Both kids shot from the room quickly at her words. "How the fuck do you do that?" I asked. "They don't listen to me."

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"Maybe because you act just like them." I cocked an eyebrow at her and she smiled mischievously. "Truth hurts, huh?" "You know, you're kind of sexy when you're being mean," I stated, walking the few steps over toward her. I gripped her hips and pulled her toward me, our bodies flush together, and gently kissed her lips. She moaned softly, parting her lips as her tongue darted into my mouth, mingling with mine. My hands roamed down and I palmed her ass, squeezing it and pulling her tighter to me. We both groaned at the sensation, and I was about to get carried away when a loud wail rang through the room. I quickly let go of Isabella, startled by the interruption, and she sighed when C's voice rang out from upstairs. "Baby's crying!" "Way to state the obvious," I grumbled as the wailing continued to echo through the room. Isabella walked over and clicked off the baby monitor sitting on the shelf, heading for the hallway with it. "Edward, get the baby, please," she said. "Oh and don't forget to put your money in the swear jar." "Fuck the swear jar," I grumbled, pulling my wallet out. "I heard that!" Isabella hollered as she started up the stairs. I pulled a few one dollar bills out and shoved them through the slit cut in the lid of the clear plastic jar sitting on the shelf. We'd implemented the swear jar at the beginning of summer, after both C and Libby started repeating every word that seemed to come from my mouth. It was a dollar per curse word, and I'd probably lost a few thousand dollars to the motherfucker in just a few weeks. Every Friday Isabella would empty it and take the kids to the store to buy them something. They got a kick out of that, getting toys because of my fuck up's. Once the little smart asses even bought me a thank you card and in C's scribble, on the bottom, was written 'Thank you for saying so many bad things'. Isabella thought that shit was hysterical, but I was actually kind of proud -- at least the kids in my life appreciated shit. I strolled upstairs, the wailing growing louder as I made my way down the hall. I glanced into the bedroom C had been staying in and saw it was still a fucking mess, shit thrown everywhere and he didn't look to be in a hurry to organize it. I wasn't sure if he was always like that, or if it was an adverse effect of him spending the summer with me. I was going to send the kid back to his parents all fucked up, cursing, lying and throwing shit around. Elizabeth was splashing water out of the bathtub while Isabella knelt beside her, trying to wash the paint from her hair. In Elizabeth's room there was a streak of black paint on the floor, but it wasn't too much that we couldn't handle. Last time she'd gotten her hands on her mother's paints, the walls looked like a goddamn rainbow exploded in the motherfucker by the time she was done.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

I went into the last room on the right, the one directly across from our bedroom. In the corner was a white crib, a mobile of different colored birds hanging above it. "Hey now, none of that," I said gently as I walked over, the same time the tiny little girl started to pull herself up to a stand. The wailing quieted some and I sighed, reaching down to pick up our youngest, Gianna Marie Cullen. She'd just turned ten months old and was still pretty much bald, but she had sparkling light brown eyes that could take a person's breath away. I wasn't yet sure who the fuck she looked like, possibly a mixture of us both. I was convinced she had Isabella's nose, but she said I was out of my mind, considering hers had been broken long ago and had lost its original shape. Gianna gave me a watery smile, displaying her two little teeth as I brushed her tears away. "Dah, Dah, Dah," she babbled. I smiled back at her, my chest swelling with emotion at the sound. Even though we'd once considered having a house full of kids, not long after Elizabeth was born we'd decided we were done. One was enough for us with everything else we had going on, but apparently Isabella forgot to take her birth control and I couldn't seem to keep my dick to myself. "Good morning, sole mio," I said. "You hungry?" She babbled some more, I guessed it was her equivalent of 'Fuck, yeah!' I took her downstairs to the kitchen and put her in her high chair, glancing in the pantry as she started beating on the tray. I admittedly didn't handle the feeding very often (more like never), so I was a little lost when it came to what the fuck to give her. I grabbed some jars of baby food, eyeing the labels suspiciously. "Vegetable chicken? Peas? Beef and gravy?" I opened the last one and took a whiff, cringing from the smell. "Christ, what is this shit?" "Ohhhh!" I turned to see C walk into the kitchen, having caught me cursing yet again. "I know, I owe you another dollar." "Two," he declared, taking a seat on one of the stools around the island in the center of the kitchen. "Uncle Alec says the way you talk to Jesus is a curse, because you aren't really talking to him. I think you're yelling at him and you're not supposed to do that." "Well, I disagree," I said, plopping the jar of baby food down in front of him. "You eat that nonsense and tell me if you don't want Jesus to explain what it is." He looked at it and scrunched up his nose. "Can I just have Cheerios, please?" "Yeah, sure," I muttered, turning back to the pantry. I grabbed the box of Cheerios and a bowl from the cabinet, pouring some quickly. Gianna was still banging on her high chair tray, the noise growing louder, and I sighed in frustration. "Alright, Travis Barker, that's enough ruckus." "Who's Travis Barker?" C asked when I got him some milk. "Are you kidding me? You don't know who Travis Barker is?" He shook his head. "Lars Ulrich? Keith Moon? Neil Peart? Ringo Starr?"

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"Oh! Ringo Starr!" he said excitedly. "He was Mr. Conductor on the Shining Time Station! I love that show! I love trains!" I stared at him incredulously. "Beatles," I said. What the fuck was he talking about? "He's a Beatle." "Like a bug?" he asked with confusion. "No, not a bug," I said. "The music group." "Ohhh, he has a yellow submarine! He was on the Wonder Pets!" he declared. "The phone, the phone is riinnggginnggg!" "What phone is ringing?" I asked, glancing at the cordless, still cradled in its base. It sure as fuck wasn't ringing and neither was my cell phone. C laughed. "No, Uncle Edward, it's the Wonder Pets song." "Who the fuc--err, who the hell are the Wonder Pets?" "You said more bad words!" He laughed. "I can't believe you don't know who the Wonder Pets are." "Me? I can't believe you don't know who Travis Barker is." "Cheerio!" Elizabeth screeched, running in the room. She was clean, her hair damp, but I could still see the remnants of the black streak on the left side of her head. She climbed up on a stool beside her cousin and I grabbed another bowl, pouring some for her as Isabella walked in the room. She cringed from the noise, Elizabeth's screeching and Gianna's banging enough to give anyone a goddamn headache. "You couldn't get the paint out?" I asked. Isabella frowned, shaking her head. "She wouldn't sit still for me," she responded. "I got it the best I could." "Mama says I look like Aunt Allie!" Elizabeth said. I rolled my eyes and she giggled when she saw it. Alice had taken to adding bright highlights in her hair from time to time. I watched as Isabella grabbed the box of Cheerio's, taking a handful and dumping them on the tray in front of Gianna. She immediately stopped banging and started babbling happily, picking at the cereal and clumsily popping it in her mouth. Isabella grabbed the jar of baby food from the counter and looked at me with confusion. "Please tell me you weren't really going to feed this to her." I shrugged. "I didn't know what she ate."

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"She eats Cheerio's every morning. Has for about two weeks now." "Duh," C interjected, like I was fucking stupid for not knowing because it was common knowledge. "Well, no one told me," I said, turning to C. "Why didn't you tell me?" "You didn't ask," he replied nonchalantly. I groaned as Isabella snickered. "Maybe if you didn't sleep through breakfast every morning, we wouldn't have had to tell you. You would've already known." "Smartass." "Monies!" Elizabeth yelled. "You owe monies!" "Yeah, whatever," I grumbled. "I'll give you a fifty if you get off my back." Elizabeth perked up but Isabella shot her down quickly. "Oh no you won't, Edward. You aren't bribing them." "But Mama..." "No buts about it, Libby," Isabella said. "Eat your cereal." "Mean mommy," I joked. Isabella narrowed her eyes at me, making sure none of the kids were looking before quickly sticking up her middle finger. I laughed, grabbing a dish towel from the counter and flinging it at her. "Right back at you, tesoro." "Hmmm, maybe later," she said playfully, her eyes trailing down my stomach before her gaze settled on my crotch. "That's foul, Bella," I said, shaking my head. Pussy didn't come often anymore in my life, considering we had three of the best cockblockers ever born constantly around. "It's not nice to tease people. What kind of lesson are you teaching these kids? I mean, they don't even know anything about music! What are you doing to them?" "I know music," C said defensively. "Me, too," Elizabeth said. "I like Britney Spears and Justin Bieber!" I swung around to look at her with disbelief. "Please tell me you did not just say Bieber." She giggled. "He's cute."

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"Christ, that's it. You're grounded," I said, shaking my head. "Both of you for that matter. Go to your rooms and don't come out until you repent." "You can't ground me!" C said. "Yes, I can," I said. "Who's going to stop me, huh?" "But what did I do?" he shouted. "Edward..." Isabella started, but I held my hand up to stop her. "You're grounded, too, Bella," I said. "I think you're long overdue for a spanking or something." She rolled her eyes at me as C and Elizabeth both started whining. Their noise spurred Gianna on, who started screeching for attention. "You guys aren't grounded," Isabella told the kids. She grabbed a wooden spoon from the counter and handed it to Gianna, the object distracting her momentarily so she quieted down. "He's the one that needs a time out." "You'll get no argument from me," I stated. "I need a long time out. A vacation." "We're going to vacation today, Daddy!" Elizabeth said. "Hanging out with the Cullen clan isn't exactly a vacation for me, piccola," I replied. We were meeting up with the family later since summer was winding down, so Emmett and Rosalie could get their kids back and we could all catch up. It was sort of an annual thing we did, which usually took place in Chicago, but this year we were heading to Washington. It was the first time we'd be going back to Forks and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. "Do you want me to make you something?" Isabella asked, glancing at me. I shook my head as Gianna started banging again, obviously growing bored. "I'll just grab something in town," I replied, glancing at the clock. "I ought to get going." Isabella nodded as she pulled Gianna from the high chair. She cringed as she held her, looking at me suspiciously. "Did you change her diaper when you got her up?" "Maybe." Isabella narrowed her eyes, while Elizabeth and C laughed. "Ohhh, Daddy lying!" Elizabeth yelled. "Liar, liar, pants on fire!" C sang. Isabella held Gianna out to me but my cell phone started ringing before I could take her. Saved by the motherfucking bell. "Sorry, tesoro. Duty calls."

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

~*~

The Part in Which I Take My Supposed Vacation (who the fuck would vacation in Forks?)

You know what's worse than being crammed in coach on a two-hour flight to a city you're already anxious about going to, so you can be with people who even stress you the fuck out from afar? Doing that shit with three little kids. Even worse than that? When those kids are Cullens. I was surprised we didn't get thrown off the fucking plane. Elizabeth wanted to run around and wouldn't stay in her seat, even when the motherfucking 'fasten your seatbelts' sign was lit. C thought the shit was funny and kept egging her on, because he wouldn't be Emmett's kid if he didn't instigate problems. Gianna, well, she just made a lot of goddamn noise. Isabella was patient with them, as usual, but me... I was wondering how many people would try to stop me if I went for the emergency exit and jumped the fuck out of the plane. I was relieved when we landed in Seattle, the air in the plane stale and tense. Isabella carried Gianna and held onto Elizabeths hand as I grabbed our luggage, keeping an eye on C as he lingered to the side with his Nintendo DS. After we had all of our luggage, I rented a car and we headed out into the parking lot, departing for Forks. The ferry ride and the three hour drive felt like they took forever with the children fucking squawking in the backseat the entire time. Every ten minutes someone had to piss, C constantly complaining he was hungry while Gianna was cranky from missing her nap. Elizabeth was just excited, having never been to Uncle Jaspers place before, and talked non-stop about anything that came to her mind. Needless to say, by the time I reached Port Angeles, I was two seconds away from bailing from the fucking car and running. Are we there yet? Elizabeth asked, for probably the fiftieth time. "No," Isabella and I said at the same time. She huffed. "When will we be there?" "When we get there," I grumbled. "Soon, sweetie," Isabella answered. I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Elizabeth nod, satisfied for the moment.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

A minute passed, then two. After three I saw her getting impatient again, and when we hit four minutes she started squirming in her car seat. As soon as five minutes passed she huffed again and I knew exactly what was coming before it even came. "Is it soon now?" I groaned. "No." "Almost," Isabella said. "Just a few more minutes." "How many minutes?" "Twenty, maybe," Isabella replied. Elizabeth nodded again, once more satisfied. But soon enough her impatience returned and she started counting out loud, fucking up the order of the numbers. "Why are you counting?" I asked when she got to 'eleventy', the noise distracting. "Mommy says twenty is soon," she answered, going right back to counting. When she finally hit twenty she smiled and looked out the window. "Are we there?" I shook my head. "No." "But mommy said twenty!" "Twenty minutes, honey, not seconds," Isabella explained. "How many seconds is soon?" "About a thousand," I replied. She gasped, looking downright fucking offended. "I can't count a thousand!" "Hallej-fucking-lujah," I muttered. Isabella shot me a disapproving look but I shrugged her off. She knew she was thankful for that shit, too, because if Elizabeth could count that high, she damn well would. I fiddled with the radio while Elizabeth continued to rattle on, C complaining some more as Gianna started to cry. It was the story of my life now -- my chaotic, loud, stressful motherfucking life. It was crazy, and as I blew past the 'Welcome to Forks' sign, I couldn't help but laugh at how it had all turned out. I drove through the streets, bypassing the familiar locations as I made my way across town. I slowed when I spotted the nearly overgrown driveway, turning onto it carefully. "Are we camping, Daddy?" Elizabeth asked excitedly as we weaved through the trees. "Will

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

there be bears?" "No," I replied. I found myself using that word about a billion goddamn times a day with her. 'No, you can't climb on the roof. It's too high up.' 'No, the washing machine isn't a water ride. It's a goddamn washing machine.' 'No, we're not going to see Disney on Ice. A giant fucking rat with blades on his feet is just wrong.' 'No, you can't drive. You're still a fucking baby.' 'No, you can't eat that little gel packet that comes with the beef jerky. The shit says 'do not eat'.' "Uncle Jasper just lives in the middle of the woods. No bears, just some squirrels and deer or whatever." "Oh." She sounded disappointed, like she really wanted to sleep in a fucking tent with a bear or something. I pulled up in front of the house, parking beside a familiar looking black Mercedes that I knew belonged to Alec. It was the same exact car we were in, one I had rented without a second thought. It was frightening how natural it was to me now, how it was fucking instinctual to blend in with that crowd. I was undoubtedly one of them and always would be, although I liked to think the fact that I didn't enjoy it made me different from the others. Jasper and Alice's cars were both there, as well as a red Chevy rental that I knew was Emmett and Rosalie. We were the last to arrive -- late to the party, as fucking usual. I climbed out of the drivers seat of the car and stood there for a moment, staring at the house. It looked exactly as it had the last time I saw it, that cold December morning so many years ago. I'd walked out the front door that day, giving the house one last look before leaving everything I loved behind. I fully expected that to be the end of my happiness, that by walking away I was giving it up for good. I never could've imagined that I would someday return, much older and a lot fucking wiser, with more happiness than I frankly deserved to have. Because despite the fact that my life was often practically anarchy, I was happy. "It looks the same," Isabella commented as she climbed out of the car, giving me a small smile. "It does," I replied. "You know, the last time I saw this place, I was sure I'd lost you for good." "I don't really remember the last time I saw it," she said. "It was all a blur. I think your dad might've told me I was welcome here any time I wanted, but I swore I'd never return without you. I always thought the place felt like home to me, but I realized that it wasn't the house that made me feel that way... It was the person I'd shared it with." "I'm glad you're here with me," I said. "I won't lie, I didn't want to see this place again after everything that happened, but I'm glad if I have to, that you're with me." "Me, too," she replied. I started to speak again but was stopped when a voice rang out nearby. "Awww, are we having a Hallmark moment?"

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

Glancing behind me, I saw Emmett standing a few feet away, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Fuck yeah, and as usual you're ruining it." He laughed as his son climbed out of the backseat. "Uncle Edward said a bad word!" "Your Uncle Edward says a lot of bad words," Emmett said. "He probably says more bad words than good words, actually." "I do not," I retorted. "Yeah, not after the swear jar," Isabella said. "He has to fork over a dollar every word." "You guys have a swear jar?" Emmett asked, amused. "How can you afford that?" I looked at him incredulously. "Is that a rhetorical question or do you really want me to tell you?" He shook his head. "Don't tell me." Isabella opened the back door to the car to get Gianna out of her seat and Elizabeth jumped out, squealing when she spotted Emmett. "Uncle Em!" she screeched, running right for him. Emmett held his arms out, scooping her up in a hug and swinging her around in a circle. "Goddy D, how are you, baby?" I shook my head. He called her Goddy D, his twisted, fucked up version of goddaughter. He thought that shit was amusing because it 'sounded gangsta', like motherfucking John Gotti, but it grated on my nerves. And yes, despite my protests, he was her godfather. Another reason I was determined to live forever. "She has a name," I said. "You can use it, you know." "I know, but what's the fun in that?" "You just like pissing me off." "True." He laughed. "It's fun watching you get your panties twisted. Seriously, bro...you've always been uptight, but having kids turned you into a little whiney bitch." Elizabeth gasped. "You owe monies! You said a bad word!" Emmett grinned. "Yeah, I did. How about I give you a twenty? That way you can buy yourself something nice."

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

I looked at Isabella, waiting for her to protest, but she just smiled at them as she shut the car door. "You're shitting me. It's okay for him to bribe her but not me?" She shook her head. "He's not bribing her." "Yeah, I'm not bribing her. It's a gift. That's what godparents do, Edward. They spoil their godkids, turn them into brats and send them back to their parents." I immediately glanced at C, who was leaning against the side of the rental car, playing his Nintendo DS. It had been a gift from me, as were the dozen games I bought him for it. That was just the tip of the iceburg, too. He was coming home with twice as much shit as he'd left with. "Whatever," I said, refusing to let him win the argument. "I'm trying to teach my kids moderation." Emmett laughed so hard the ground nearly shook, tears welling in his eyes. "You? Moderation? That's a new one, bro." "Oh, fu---, uh, vaffanculo," I spat. Isabella glared at me, but the kids didn't catch the curse. The way I figured it, Italian didnt count since they didnt speak it. Yet, anyway. It was only a matter of time before they caught on. "Back at you," Emmett said, turning to his son. "Aren't you going to say hey to me, Carlisle? I haven't seen you in weeks!" "Hey, Dad," C said, finally looking up from his game. Emmett stared at him expectantly and C smiled sheepishly, strolling over to give his father a hug. I started pulling our luggage out of the trunk as C took off around the side of the house in search of his mother. Emmett put Elizabeth down and took her hand. "Come on, short stuff. Let's go inside while your daddy deals with his shit." "Bad word!" Elizabeth said excitedly. "You talk like Daddy!" "I know," he said, shaking his head. "You're going to take all my money this weekend aren't you?" Elizabeth just giggled, no answer needed. She'd break him if he kept it up. After grabbing some bags, I headed for the house with Isabella. We made it up onto the porch when the front door swung open and Alice appeared. "You're here!" she exclaimed, immediately pulling Isabella and the baby into a hug. "I've missed you so much!"

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"Missed you, too," Isabella said as she pulled out of the hug. Alice squealed and took Gianna from her arms, turning and bolting down the hallway without another word. "Did our kids just get stolen from us?" Isabella asked, glancing at me. I laughed. "Yeah, but don't worry. The kids have my blood running through their veins. They'll bring them right back." There was noise on the stairs and I glanced over, seeing Jasper on his way down. He smiled at us before looking around in confusion. "Where's the kids?" "Emmett," I said, the same time Isabella said, "Alice." "Ah, built-in babysitters," he said, clapping me on the shoulder as he stepped into the foyer. He gave Isabella a quick hug before looking at the luggage and motioning toward the stairs. "You know where your room is. Make yourself at home." ~*~

The Part in Which Alec Meets His Match (I'd never been prouder)
"How's it going?" I glanced behind me, seeing Alec standing on the porch. I was sitting on the front steps, watching as the kids ran around the front of the house. "Fine, sir," I replied. "Everything was in order when I left Vegas, so I don't foresee any issues." He nodded as he slowly strolled in my direction, taking a seat beside me on the steps. I was stunned he'd even come along, considering he wasnt exactly the family reunion type, but figured Esme had somehow forced him into it. "I know, Edward. I wasn't asking about business -- I was asking about you." I stared at him, stunned. He was asking me as Alec, fucking scary uncle, and not Alec, fucking scary mob boss. It was still fucking scary, but it was a vast difference from what I was used to. "Uh, it's going alright, I guess. Can't complain." "Edward Cullen having nothing to complain about? That's hard to believe." I smirked. "Well, yeah, that's a lie. I could complain, I just know better than to do it."

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

He nodded. "That's more realistic." "So, uh, how are you?" He shrugged. "I'm still alive and I'm not in prison, so I suppose that means I'm doing well enough." "Well, thank God for that." "Yes, thank God," he said with a laugh, clasping me in the shoulder. "While we're at it, we should be asking Him for forgiveness, too, just in case He decides to revoke the first blessing. Better safe than sorry, son." Son. The word sent a chill down my spine. It had been nearly seven years since my fathers death, and since then I hadn't felt like anyone's child. But sitting there on the porch, that word hanging in the air between us, I almost felt it. I almost felt like someone's son, the man beside me the closest thing I'd ever have to a father again. It was awkward sitting there, not knowing what to say, but Id take awkward conversation with him over none at all. The kids ran over eventually, Elizabeth stopping right in front of me with her hand out. "Monies, Daddy." "What? Why?" I asked. "I didn't say anything!" "You owe," she said matter-of-factly. I grumbled to myself, reaching in my pocket for my wallet. I pulled out a few dollar bills and handed them to her, watching as she stuffed the bundle into her pocket with a smile on her face. She turned to Alec next, holding her hand out again. "Monies," she said. He looked at her suspiciously and her eyes widened innocently as she added, "please?" He hesitated for a moment before grabbing his wallet, pulling out a five dollar bill and handing it to her. She smiled sweetly, shoving it in her pocket with the others. "Thank you," she said, skipping away. I glanced at Alec and bit back my laughter at the bewildered look on his face. "What was the money for?" he asked. "Cursing," I replied. "She collects a dollar for every bad word." His brow furrowed. "But I didn't say anything foul. She's mistaken."

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

"Not mistaken, just slick," I said, unable to keep my laughter in any longer. "You just got taken by a four year old." He stared at me, appearing speechless. I'd never seen him look so completely fucking dumbfounded before. "Unbelievable," he said after a moment, shaking his head. "Only your child would be brave enough to try to extort money from me." ~*~

The Part in Which I Realize I Now Suck at Football (but Ill always be better than Jasper)
The Seahawks are going the whole way this year, Jasper said. I can feel it. Bullshit, Emmet yelled from where he stood in front of the grill, flipping hamburgers. It was surprisingly not raining in Forks so wed decided to have an impromptu cookout. The Bears are headed straight for the championship. I guarantee it. I shook my head, palming the dingy brown football. Both of you are jumping the gun. Its way too early to call the season when it hasnt even started. I threw the ball and it spiraled perfectly across the yard at where C stood but was too high. He jumped, tipping it with his fingers, but it flew past him and rolled in the grass. Kind of off your game, arent you Mr. Quarterback? Jasper asked, pushing me playfully. I havent played football in years, I said, flexing my fingers and rubbing my aching wrist. C picked up the ball, tossing it back. It wobbled a bit in the air but came right for me, so close I only had to take a few steps forward to catch it. I palmed the ball again, feeling the laces under my fingers. Im surprised I still know how to hold the motherfucker, honestly. Jasper laughed. I think its like riding a bike. You think? Yeah, think. I dont know, though. Never played football. Thats because youre lazy, Emmett said, strolling over to us. He took the football from me and tossed it at his son, damn near as well as Id done. Not lazy, just had more important things to do back then, Jasper said. What, debate team? Student government? Emmett joked. Kissing teachers asses? Jeopardy, I added as C tossed the ball back. I caught it, throwing it right back. He was too

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

wrapped up in Jeopardy. Fucking Alice, Emmett said, laughing. His number one priority. Hey, I heard that! Alice yelled from behind us. We all turned around, seeing her sitting by the back door. She was with Isabella and Rosalie, the three of them playing with Gianna and Emmett Jr. on a blanket in the grass. Jasper shrugged, not denying it, and walked away. I went back to tossing the ball with C and Emmett just stood there, watching us. Do you believe in karma? he asked after a moment, his tone completely serious. I glanced at him, seeing his expression matched. Uh, honest answer? He nodded. No, I cant believe in it. His brow furrowed. Why? The shit Ive done in my life, Emmett? If karma was real, Id have a whole lot of fucking hurt coming. And I just cant accept that shit, because I have a wife and kids to worry about now. They need me. Yeah, they do, he replied. But what if you had it backwards? Youre not a bad person, Edward. You dont just go around hurting people for fun. Fate threw you in the position youre in, and I know you, bro... I know its gotta be hell on you. Im not trying to make it sound like I know what all youve done, because I dont, but I know the kind of person you are inside. You did all of this for Isabella, to save her, so dont you think maybe karma is rewarding you for that? You have her now. You have this beautiful family and youre happy. Yeah, youre still a finicky asshole that complains about every damn thing, but underneath that is a man who knows hes lucky. Dont you think karma is giving you back the happiness you sacrificed to give Izzy Bizzy? I stared at him as I gripped the ball tightly, having no fucking idea how to respond to that. Maybe. And come on, bro, he said, grabbing the ball from me and tossing it at his son. All the shit you pulled in high school with girls, all of the hearts you broke? If the fact that you have two daughters now isnt karma, Im a fucking baboon's ass. Yeah, you might be one of those anyway, I said. He shoved me and I laughed, shoving him right back. What made you ask me about karma? You feeling fucking philosophical today? Smoke some weed earlier that I dont know about? He shook his head. No, I was just looking around at all of us here, thinking about life and how things turned out. Its crazy, you know? I never thought wed get to this point, where wed all be back at this house together, spending time as a family. Its weird without Dad here -- I keep expecting to hear his voice or see his face as he pops around a corner or something, trying to be stealthy as usual -- but somehow it also feels kind of right.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

Mom would call it fate, I said. He nodded. Yeah, fate. I really hope we never lose this. Lose what? Jasper asked, strolling back over to us. Emmett waved his arms around. This. Jaspers brow furrowed. What, the trees? Yeah, the fucking trees, Jazz, I said. Please dont bulldoze the motherfuckers. I wont, he said seriously. I shook my head as Emmett started laughing. Im going to get a beer, he said. You guys need anything? Bring me one, Jasper said. Yeah, Im thirsty, I replied. He nodded and headed for the cooler as I went back to tossing the ball to C. Emmett returned after a moment, handing a beer to Jasper before holding a can of coke out to me. I grabbed it and Emmett took a sip of his beer, eyeing me warily. You dont mind if we drink, do you? I shook my head. He asked me that question every time I saw him, and each time it got a little easier to say no. Drink away. Just dont expect me to be sympathetic when your asses have hangovers in the morning. I popped the top off of my soda and started to drink when I heard a familiar screech heading in my direction. I sighed and braced myself as my brothers took a few steps away. A few seconds later I was jolted to the side as Elizabeth rammed right into me. Daddy, where do you get monies? I looked down at her, caught off guard by the question. What? How do you get your monies? Uh, I just have it, I replied, on the verge of panicking. I keep it in the bank. Where did it come from? Work.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

What work? Do you have a club? My brow furrowed. A club? She nodded. Like Uncle Alec. Oh, no. I dont own a club. Why would you think that? She shrugged. You drive his same car. I stared at her, unsure of what the fuck to say. She was way too observant for her own good. Its just a car, I said cautiously. Has nothing to do with his club or work." But where did your monies come from? she asked again. I told you. It comes from working. Did you make it? I earned it, I said, pausing before adding, some of it, anyway. She sighed impatiently, looking downright frustrated. You dont understand. No, I dont, I replied. Why are you asking me about money? Rose said a bad word and I told her to give me monies, but she said it didnt grow on trees. Oh, you want to know where money comes from? She put her hands on her hips, annoyed. Thats what I asked! Money comes from paper, bambina. Where does paper come from? I shrugged. Trees. She stood still for a minute as she processed the information. After it finally seemed to click she gasped. Monies come from trees! she exclaimed, turning around. She started to run straight toward Rosalie, holding her hand out and singing Liar, Liar, Pants on fire! ~*~

The Part in Which We Get Our Happy Ending (if the shoe fits, wear the motherfucker)

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

I made my way up to the third floor in the darkness, each step holding a comfortable familiarity. It had been a long day and I was exhausted, but something about being there, in that house again, had put me at ease. I slowly walked down the hallway, toward the room on the right that Id spent nearly my entire childhood in, but hesitated as I neared it. I could hear Isabellas soft voice coming from the room across from it, the one shed once slept in for a time all of those years ago. The door the the room was open and I paused in the doorway, glancing inside. Gianna was fast asleep in a playpen in the corner, while Isabella was lying on the bed with Elizabeth snuggled in her arms. My wife was holding a book and reading to her, the sight instantly bringing a smile to my face. Gus and Jaq had stolen the key to Cinderellas room from her stepmothers pocket and freed their friend just in time, Isabella read before flipping the page and continuing. Lady Tremaine was furious! She tripped the footman, and the glass slipper fell to the floor and shattered. Oh no! Elizabeth exclaimed, her eyes widening like she was shocked. I stifled a laugh, knowing goddamn well shed heard the story about a hundred times and knew exactly how it ended. Isabella smiled, turning the page again. Luckily, Cinderella had the matching slipper! She reached into her apron pocket and pulled it out. The slipper was a perfect fit! The Grand Duke took Cinderella to the castle, where she married the Prince and they lived happily ever after. I like Cinderella, Elizabeth said, as Isabella closed the book and set it aside. Can I be a princess like her, Mommy? Isabella smiled. You already are. Her eyes lit up. I am? Of course you are, Isabella replied. I am, too. I was a princess just like Cinderella. Was the lady mean to you, too, Mommy? Isabella nodded, smiling. Yes. I was kept locked up, forced to do all the work, and never thought anything would change. But one day, out of nowhere, my prince swept me off of my feet and saved me from it all, just like in the book.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

You have a prince? Elizabeth asked excitedly. I do, she replied. Hes your daddy. Elizabeth gasped. Daddys a prince? Yes. Daddy doesnt act like a prince. Isabella laughed. No, he doesnt, but thats what makes him such a great one. Your daddys a wonderful man, you know. Hes special. And someday, when youre older, youll be just as lucky as me and meet someone as special as he is. Hell sweep you off of your feet and itll be love at first sight. Wow. Will he give me a glass slipper, too? Isabella shrugged. Maybe. But if hes anything like your daddy, it might be a pair of Nikes instead. Laughter slipped from my lips and both of them looked in my direction. Isabella blushed, realizing shed been overheard, while Elizabeth just smiled. Daddy are you really a prince? she asked. You could say that, I replied. Do you have a crown? I chuckled. No. Princes have crowns, she said matter-of-factly. They like treasure. True, I responded. But just because I dont have a crown doesnt mean I dont have a treasure. Her face lit up again. You do? I nodded. Yes, I have the most beautiful treasure in the world, but nows not the time to talk about it. Its time for anyone under five feet tall to go to sleep now.

Principessa An Emancipation Proclamation Outtake by: KhariZZmatiK

She started to protest but Isabella stopped her. Hes right. Bedtime, she said, tucking her in before heading for the door. I strolled over and leaned down, kissing Elizabeths forehead gently. Night-night, Daddy, she said as I started for the door. I paused, reaching for the light switch to turn it off. Goodnight, principessa. I walked out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind me before walking over across the hall. Isabella was already changing into her pajamas and I kicked my shoes off, watching her in the glow of moonlight filtering through the window. Her body had changed over the years, stretchmarks joining the scars that marked her pale skin. Her hips were wider, parts of her fuller and less toned. She was curvy, her body still completely natural from head to toe. Standing there, looking at her naked form in the room where it had all began, my chest ached. She was more beautiful now than shed been then, and I was a lucky motherfucker to have her in my life. Through everything, shed been my rock. She never gave up on me on us and I would fight my entire life to be the man she deserved. I loved her, more than anything in the world. The two little girls across the hall were the only ones who rivaled that love. They were my life. Theyd all three stolen my heart and owned my soul. Every piece of me, down to the very core, belonged to them and I wouldnt have it any other way. So you have a treasure? Isabella asked playfully, glancing at me. I nodded. I call you tesoro for a reason.

Вам также может понравиться