Hunter Adams English 1102 Due: 3 December 2013 My Parents Made Me Do It!

We have all been in a restaurant getting ready to take a dive into our perfectly cooked steak and then you hear it; the shrieking of a toddler throwing a tantrum. All the tables surrounding the family turn and stare looking at the parent for an explanation. The though on everyones mind is, the child wouldnt act like this if the parents were better at parenting. According to the norms of society a parent can have a huge impact on the way their child act in from a young age and through adulthood. All parents know that their actions will effect how their child will be as an adult, but no parents knows which direction of parenting is the best. Hundreds of books line the shelves of libraries and bookstores to help parents with the daily task of parenting a child. Larzelere states, methods [of parenting] are improving, and by reaching across disciplines and examining interacting systems, a greater understanding of childrens development and socialization is likely to emerge. (Larzelere 5) In How Good Parents Raise Great Kids: The Six Essential Habits of Highly Successful Parents there are six distinct characteristics listed out and explained in order to help parents decide on how to parent their children in a well-rounded way. The first habit mentioned is good communication. All parenting books have a chapter on communication. Some talk about the ways you can change your verbiage in order for your child to understand you better, while others speak on why you should talk to your child the same way you would talk to a peer in any situation.

Habit number two mentioned is that parents should encourage intellectual development. Because most teachers do not value conceptual thinking as much as they do grades, it is your task to help your child develop it (Davidson 69.) Parents start teaching their children from the time they exit the womb. Letters, numbers, nursery rhymes, and names are all part of the way a parent helps shape their childs future in thinking. Special toys meant to help children learn, books that develop a more extensive vocabulary and others are some of the efforts that parents make to help their children develop intellectually. Private elementary and secondary schools have become a luxury item and many parents hope and save for their children to be able to receive an education from one of these institutes. Many parents will shape their child intellectually so they will be able to have a brighter future and a better chance later in life (Davidson 74-115) Having a mean of discipline is the third habit a parent should have. This is thoroughly discussed in Larzeleres book about authoritative parenting. He states that child development experts tend to believe that authoritative parenting is the best style of parenting because research shows it tends to lead to children who are more independent, happy and successful (Larzelere 106.) The fourth habit for a parent to have is one that will instill self-esteem in their child. This is a major goal in minimalist parenting. The parent and children take away items that cause distractions or do not help the child in a positive way. Often times social media is eliminated because it is one way that children are often bullied. Parents focus on having joy and showing their children the things they should value are not materialistic. Children learn what is most important to themselves and their family and learn to cherish the things in life that are valuable. In this parenting style there is often a

distinct division in the way children act when they are older. Minimalist children often are more appreciative for what others do for them, and often believe that whatever they do they are doing their best. This parenting style is wonderful at instilling a since of selfesteem in children. (Christine) The habit of teaching your children your values is the fifth habit outlined by Davidsons book. Some researchers have found that when parents give their child a positive reward for following their values and expected actions that children tend to yield better (Gross 19.) Finally the sixth habit a parent should have is to support socialization of their children. Wagonseller tells parents that there are five basic ways to develop their childrens social skills. Cooperation; a child follows rules and works well with others. Friendliness; the youngster is able to establish good friendships within his age group and keep close friends, politeness is and offshoot of friendliness. Sharing; the child lets his friends enjoy his toys and other belongings. Responsibility; the youngster does what is expected for his age level and therefore earns independence. Communication; the child tells his ideas and feelings accurately and listens to and understands others. (Wagonseller 64) No matter what parenting style is chosen, a parent knows to have six habits in mind; communication, intellectual development, discipline, self-esteem, values, and socialization. The differences in parenting styles are what make us unique as families, and as individuals as we grow up. Children look to their closest role model to learn how to act and react to social situations, therefore making our parents one of our most important influences as we grow up.

Works Cited Christine, Koh, and Dornfest Asha. "6 Steps to Minimalist Parenting." parenting.com n.pag. Web. 1 Nov 2013. <http://www.parenting.com/article/minimalist-parenting?cid=searchresult>. Davidson, Alan, and Robert Davidson. How Good Parents Raise Great Kids: The Six Essential Habits of Highly Successful Parents. New York: Warner Books, 1996. Print. Gross, Jean. Psychology and Parenthood. Milton Keynes [England: Open University Press, 1989. Print. Larzelere, Robert E, Amanda S. Morris, and Amanda W. Harrist. Authoritative Parenting: Synthesizing Nurturance and Discipline for Optimal Child Development. Washington, D.C: American Psychological Association, 2013. Print. Wagonseller, Bill R, and Richard L. McDowell. You and Your Child: A Common Sense Approach to Successful Parenting. Champaign, Ill: Research Press, 1979. Print.