Hunter Adams English 1102 Due: 3 December 2013 My Parents Made Me Do It!

We have all been in a restaurant getting ready to take the first bite into our perfectly cooked steak and then you hear it; the shrieking of a toddler throwing a tantrum. All the tables surrounding the family turn and stare looking at the parent for an explanation. The though on everyones mind is, This These parents should have taught their child better. Society has an idea that a childs actions is based solely on how the way they have been parented. According to the norms of society, a parent can have a huge impact on the way their children act in from a young age and through adulthood. All parents know that their actions will aeffect how their child will be as an adult, but no parents knows which direction of parenting is the best. Hundreds of books line the shelves of libraries and bookstores to help parents with the daily task of parenting a child. Larzelere states, methods [of parenting] are improving, and by reaching across disciplines and examining interacting systems, a greater understanding of childrens development and socialization is likely to emerge. (Larzelere 5). Not one parenting style has proven to be the best. Research and developments are always happening in childrens development that help parents understand the best way for them to raise their children. In How Good Parents Raise Great Kids: The Six Essential Habits of Highly Successful Parents there are six distinct characteristics listed out and explained in order to help parents decide on how to parent their children in a well-rounded way.
Comment [AP3]: Okay, Im still looking for the connection to a thesis here. It seems like youre setting the reader up for a review of this persons book. Comment [AP2]: Set this person up a little better so that I better know their credentials. So maybe say: So and So writes, in the Journal of Parenting, that Comment [AP1]: Okay, this is an interesting and engaging intro here. but Im still searching for a particular thesis or an argument. Parents having a huge impact on their children, seems too axiomatic. Can you be more specific with what exactly you mean.

The first habit mentioned is good communication. All parenting books have a chapter on communication. Some talk about the ways you can change your verbiage in order for your child to understand you better, while others speak on why you should talk to your child the same way you would talk to a peer in any situation. Communication is defined as to reveal; to convey; to have connection with; interchange of thoughts or information. (Davidson 27) As stated by Davidson, it is obvious that most families in the United States dont quite have this concept grasped. The easiest way to bridge this communication gap for parents is by simply listening and showing a willingness to participate in the conversation (Davidson 29.) Communication should include a parent who puts the needs and wants of their children into consideration and helps them by listening and understanding a way to a common ground. Habit number two mentioned is that parents should encourage intellectual development. Because most teachers do not value conceptual thinking as much as they do grades, it is your task to help your child develop it (Davidson 69.) Parents start teaching their children from the time they exit the womb. Letters, numbers, nursery rhymes, and names are all part of the way a parent helps shape their childs future in thinking. Special toys meant to help children learn, books that develop a more extensive vocabulary and others are some of the efforts that parents make to help their children develop intellectually. Private elementary and secondary schools have become a luxury item and many parents hope and save for their children to be able to receive an education from one of these institutes. Many parents will shape their child intellectually so they will be able to have a brighter future and a better chance later in life (Davidson 74-115)
Comment [AP4]: According to who? You shouldnt make the reader reference your works cited page to gain a context.

Having a plan for discipline is the third habit a parent should have. This is thoroughly discussed in Larzeleres book about authoritative parenting. He states that child development experts tend to believe that authoritative parenting is the best style of parenting because research shows it tends to lead to children who are more independent, happy and successful (Larzelere 106.) Authorative parents are taught to have a parental control that is firm but not intrusive on their childs life (Larzelere 36.) A welldisciplined child is one that minimally acts out against their parents and excels in social interactions (Davidson 117.) Parents are more often using contracts weather they are written or verbal in order to allow their children to know what discipline their bad habits and actions can cause. The fourth habit for a parent to have is one that will instill self-esteem in their child. This is a major goal in minimalist parenting. The parent and children take away items that cause distractions or do not help the child in a positive way. Often times social media is eliminated because it is one way that children are often bullied. Parents focus on having joy and showing their children the things they should value are not materialistic. Children learn what is most important to themselves and their family and learn to cherish the things in life that are valuable. In this parenting style there is often a distinct division in the way children act when they are older. Minimalist children often are more appreciative for what others do for them, and often believe that whatever they do they are doing their best. This parenting style is wonderful at instilling a since of selfesteem in children. (Christine) The habit of teaching your children your values is the fifth habit outlined by Davidsons book. Some researchers have found that when parents give their child a

positive reward for following their values and expected actions that children tend to yield better (Gross 19.) Role modeling is another way that children learn their familys values. A learned behavior by most children is the way that their parents react to other people (Davidson 213.) This is shown when a child makes a racist comment at a young age. Growing up in the south, this wasnt uncommon. I now realize that if a child or even one of my peers makes a racist or derogatory comment that usually means that their parent has been a bad role model. Their parents have let them know that this is an acceptable behavior in their family. Parents can teach values both good and bad to their children. Finally the sixth habit a parent should have is to support socialization of their children. Wagonseller tells parents that there are five basic ways to develop their childrens social skills. Cooperation; a child follows rules and works well with others. Friendliness; the youngster is able to establish good friendships within his age group and keep close friends, politeness is and offshoot of friendliness. Sharing; the child lets his friends enjoy his toys and other belongings. Responsibility; the youngster does what is expected for his age level and therefore earns independence. Communication; the child tells his ideas and feelings accurately and listens to and understands others. (Wagonseller 64) Parents often socialize their children through play dates and through day cares. Children learn to work with others and develop an understanding for societal norms in these situations. I was once told by my high school sociology teacher that one could tell which students were allowed to interact with peers starting at a young age. He would figure this out by simply watching the students debate in the classroom. At the end of the semester he shared with us his thoughts and observations and he was one hundred percent correct about the students upbringings in a classroom of 35 students.

This observation completes by a high school teacher shows that humans are formed by the way their parents raise them at a young age. No matter what parenting style is chosen, a parent knows to have six habits in mind; communication, intellectual development, discipline, self-esteem, values, and socialization. The differences in parenting styles are what make us unique as families, and as individuals as we grow up. Parents making a decision on which parenting style they are going to use should look closely at the research of each. Children look to their closest role model to learn how to act and react to social situations, therefore making our parents one of our most important influences as we grow up. Hunter, You have done some really nice research here. I think youve done a great job with your introduction here as a means to gain a readers attention, and you write with a tone that suggests an amount of authority on the topic. I think, though, that this essay is largely reviewing the Davidson book as opposed to synthesizing your research and including your own point of view and making a clear argument (or thesis). A significant portion of this essay seems to be the various sources stitched with very little of your own words in the mix. Also, there are lots of typos and little errors here. Proof read a little closer.

Works Cited Christine, Koh, and Dornfest Asha. "6 Steps to Minimalist Parenting." parenting.com n.pag. Web. 1 Nov 2013. <http://www.parenting.com/article/minimalist-parenting?cid=searchresult>. Davidson, Alan, and Robert Davidson. How Good Parents Raise Great Kids: The Six Essential Habits of Highly Successful Parents. New York: Warner Books, 1996. Print. Gross, Jean. Psychology and Parenthood. Milton Keynes [England: Open University Press, 1989. Print. Larzelere, Robert E, Amanda S. Morris, and Amanda W. Harrist. Authoritative Parenting: Synthesizing Nurturance and Discipline for Optimal Child Development. Washington, D.C: American Psychological Association, 2013. Print. Wagonseller, Bill R, and Richard L. McDowell. You and Your Child: A Common Sense Approach to Successful Parenting. Champaign, Ill: Research Press, 1979. Print.