How Ive changed since becoming a mother

Becoming a mother has really changed my thoughts and perspectives on many things. I had some pretty definite ideas in my head about the kind of parent I wanted to be and how I was going to do things. Being a parent has meant learning a LOT and changing deeply rooted opinions held for years. Here are some opinions I had going into parenthood that underwent a massive change: 1. I will NEVER co-sleep with my babies. I believe its dangerous. They will sleep in their own cots and will learn to sleep through the night at a young age. All I can do is laugh and cringe a little bit when I look back on this one! I know realize that IF my babies ever actually slept through the night at a young age then they would be probably be undernourished and stressed. As for co-sleeping being dangerous I now highly doubt this in the case where a mother is breastfeeding. Typically you will lie in a protective position so your baby can easily access your breast. Moreover you remain connected to your baby, even in sleep and wake easily at his slightest movement. Co-sleeping is lovely and soothing for both you and your baby and results in your both getting more sleep, particularly in the early days when feeding is very frequent overnight. (Oh I had NO IDEA what sleep deprivation was really like and how I would do just about anything to get sleep. I intend to co-sleep when we have another baby. Co-sleeping was a bit tricky for me the first time around as I had twins so I could only safely cosleep with one at a time but I think its a great arrangement when you have one baby. Its certainly better than falling asleep sitting up to breastfeed and having your baby fall off your lap and onto the floor! 2. Extended breastfeeding is weird. Babies can drink cows milk over the age of one so theres no need to keep breastfeeding. I was lucky enough to be successful with breastfeeding. Some initial hard work and struggles saw me emerge the proud tandem feeder of twins. Breastfeeding my twins fills me with joy and pride, I am so happy to be able to do this for my babies. Initially I only intended to breastfeed for 3 months, then 6, then 12. But as I reached these self-imposed stop times I thought why stop whats working so well?

While Im not sure how I feel about breastfeeding children old enough to attend formal schooling (personally its not for me) I now feel completely differently about the breastfeeding of toddlers. The World Health Organisation recommends for up to 2 years and beyond. In many traditional societies, children are breastfed up to 3 or 4 years old. While you can put your toddler on cows milk as part of a healthy, balanced diet, cows milk lacks many of the necessary vitamins and minerals essential to toddler development that are present in the correct proportions in breastmilk. Cows milk can be Me tandem nursing Teddy (left) and Basty (right) at 10 months old. I love these special nursing moments so much I difficult to digest and is a wanted to capture them on camera :) leading cause of food allergies in young children. Breastmilk on the other hand evolves and changes with your growing baby to always be exactly what they need for their particular stage of development. Not to mention that it is a wonderful method of soothing your upset toddler. Plus its free! I am returning to work this year however I still intend to breastfeed my one year old twins morning and night until they choose to stop. 3. Baby Bjorn carriers are the bomb, I cant wait to get one!

If I could, I would round up all Baby Bjorn carriers and burn them! When I was looking into getting a baby carrier I did quite a bit of research that turned up the potential hazards to a babys hips having them dangle down like that. Not to mention the strain on the spine of having a baby forward facing in a carrier. Babys spines are shaped like a C, when a baby is facing the parent the spine is protected and cradled in the correct position. Facing outwards puts strain on the spine. Moreover a forward-facing baby cannot, if feeling overwhelmed, turn his head away from stimulation and seek peace and comfort in his parents chest. On top of these negatives for the baby, the Baby Bjorn offers no lower back support for the parent, making the baby difficult to carry very quickly. Parents tend to abandon these types of carriers early, thus effectively ending any baby-wearing relationship that may be developing. There are many great carriers out there that are capable of carrying toddlers of much heavier weights allowing for the lovely baby wearing relationship to continue. I ended up purchasing two Ergo baby carriers and use these relatively frequently. Baby-wearing is beautiful and such a Basty and I enjoying some precious one-on-one time with him in the Ergo. Basty dearly loves time alone comfort to the baby. Unfortunately I could with me which is hard to get being a twin! not baby-wear as much as I would have liked due to having twins. While its possible to carry two babies in carriers its not ideal. However for one baby this really is the perfect way to spend the day with your baby, you can get on with your chores while you baby enjoys being snuggled down next to your heart. Perfect 4. Rear-facing car seats are such a pain, I cant wait to forward face them when the twins hit 6 months! (Legal age when you can forward face in Australia) During my pregnancy I joined an international, online forum and discussions of car seats came up. I soon learned that in many parts of the developed world, babies and young children are rear faced for two years or more to protect their delicate spines in the event of a crash. At first I

was skeptical, but then I did my research and discovered that rear-facing babies were up to 5 times safer than forward-facing babies. I quickly did what I could to spread the word as this is not commonly known in Australia. While I wouldnt say that passing on this information has exactly won me any popularity contests and many people choose to ignore it with excuses about how their baby is happier forward facing, hopefully I have informed some other mums, who will in turn pass than onto others until it becomes the norm to have children rear-facing for longer to make sure they travel in optimum safety. I now intend to rear face my children until they reach the height marker on the seat, so hopefully for around 2 years. 5. Im a disposable lady all the way! No cloth products for me! I never thought that I would use cloth nappies or other products. Discussions of cloth nappies came up regularly on my international online forum and I read a blog post about cloth nappies by one of the mums in the group. At the time while I was keen I doubted my ability to cope with twins in cloth nappies given I was struggling so much with the housework workload. With winter looming I decided against trying. Come summer I discovered that another twin mum in my real life mothers group was using cloth nappies so I asked her about it. She lent me some of hers to try and I loved them. I built up a stash and I actually enjoy washing my nappies. Plus they are just so cute which I love. This has led me to branch out into cloth in other areas including using cloth wipes and face washers more Teddy (looking at camera) and Basty rocking the very cute Itti Bitti Tutto MCN's often and moving from disposable to reusable menstrual products. I wish I knew about these years ago! Im even thinking of going back to hankies over tissues, something I thought Id never do. But it would be lovely to do the washing and not have to pick bits of tissue fluff of everything when I accidentally forget to check a pocket

6. Ill never take my babies on an areoplane or out to dinner to annoy people in a restaurant Clearly I was planning on not having a life! Opportunities to eat out are rare and when we do eat out its usually with the people who wouldve babysat our children anyway. So if I stuck to that one I would never eat out. I took my babies on an areoplane when they were 6 months old and luckily the other passengers were lovely, offering to hold them and play with them for us so we could have a break. I remember thinking on a previous, pre-baby plane trip when a baby cried in my ear the whole way that I would never take my future babies on a plane! Oh how ignorant I was!

7. Im going to smack my children so they learn respect. I was smacked as a child and I turned out fine! After bit of further reflection I think Im unlikely to smack my children. The more I think about my childhood and the instances where I was smacked I was usually scared, repentant and miserable knowing a smack was coming, usually for something that I had said or done without out thinking. Now I think that if my mum hadve just spoken to me about it, calmly and gently it wouldve been enough. Better than enough as I wouldnt have been afraid and upset. If anyone dared hit me now Id see that they were charged. What gives me the right to hit my children? And then expect them to learn not to hit? Im not totally against smacks for very young children in imminent danger situations and I think it can be done in a way thats instructive without being hurtful but too often it becomes an angry parent taking that anger out on a child, without meaning to. Im a lot less sure than I used to be that smacking is the right way to go when it comes to discipline.

8. My body will be wrecked after I have kids, my boobs will sag and Ill have stretch marks and loose skin. I will be uglier. In actual fact after some initial misgivings Im actually a lot happier with my body than I thought I would be. Not so much because I think I look better now (because I dont) but because Im blown away at what an amazing job my body did growing two babies at once and the job it now does feeding

those babies. Those stretch marks and that saggy skin? Thats my badge of honour, a sign of what my body did. I have more respect for my body now and see it more for what it does as opposed to what it looks like. Now instead of wanting to look hot I want to be healthy so I can be a good role model for my boys. And you know what? Get your slightly saggy, stretched tummy out in a bikini and other mums arent thinking omg why is she wearing a bikini?!? Theyre thinking, shes so brave, its good to see someone real with stretch marks and sagginess! Its been a seismic shift in thinking but Ive enjoyed the journey. Ive poured over articles for hours learning about things I knew nothing about. My whole world is filtered through a mothers eyes now. I care about things I never previously cared about because of how they will affect my children. I thank my online mothers group, because I can talk about anything with them and have learned a lot of them. Its been one hell of a learning curve, this first year with twins, but Im ready for more! Cheers, Dee