Through the Eyes of an Undergrad A struggle for Succcess Dominique B.

Ricks Norfolk State University, Norfolk VA Abstract This autoethnography details the authors personal and academic experiences during her four years of undergrad at Norfolk State University. The author begins to understand struggle and the milestones that she must surpass in order to reach success; is showcased through academic concepts and then integrated with the theoretical lens. The authors narrative of her struggle for success is heightened by the quotes and knowledge of intellectual thinkers. Keywords: autoethnography; narrative; undergrad

There I was sitting at my desk waiting for time to reach four oclock, so that I can finally clock out to go home. I started to think about how I could not see myself staying at a job that made me so unhappy. Dont get me wrong, for me to be nineteen years of age and have a job as a referral coordinator at a private doctors office was a great privilege. I had initially gotten the job at Virginia Medical Alliance as a medical records clerk due to my mothers many years there, than earned my way up to a referral coordinator in less than a year. In a short period time I had grown weary of it, I just didnt like the practice in general. A lot of the younger administrative staff were older than me, but similar in that they had not finished college. They had gotten comfortable with the steady income and chose not to follow through. At the time I was taking night classes at Northern Virginia Community College the Alexandria campus to earn credits. Day after day, I tended to day dream about what my friends were doing back at Norfolk State and how much I was missing out. I had come so far and yet now I felt stuck. Shortly after my freshmen year I had moved to Maryland with my mother and sister in their two bedroom apartment, in which I slept on the couch. I hadnt enough money to go back and start my sophomore year and thought it would be best if I moved with my mother and worked to save, but now I was ready. Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. I could no longer be afraid of distance, the unknown, and struggle; I was finally ready to finish out what I started.

The New & Unfamiliar

The summer of 2010 was coming to a close. Although I had been accepted by multiple universities, I had planned to stay home with my sister and attend community college. I had only actually visited VCUs campus and my mother suggested that I at least visit another university before making a decision. So, upon the last day to commit we visited Norfolk State University.

After a tour of the campus my mother looked at me and said, You should just go for it, you will not be missing out on anything at home. She was right and I had known if I were to go off to college, I wanted to go to a Historically Black College. When starting grade school I had attended majority white schools and then I never noticed the difference between myself and other students until now. In my psychology courses we learned that there is a certain stage of socialization when a child starts to recognize race. (Put in cited info). As I got older I started to attend more diverse schools and even majority black school. I wanted to attend a university that had a family filling and I would be judged strictly on my academic work. So, that day I committed to attending Norfolk State University. My family is originally from New Orleans, myself being the only one born up in Washington, D.C. I would be the first of my family to attend college and had done it all on my own. My mother had not ever been through the process before with any of my three older sisters, so it was new for her as well. Everyone was so proud, but secretly I was scared. I was scared of being away on my own, being pressure, and was unsure of what career I wanted to pursue. I was accepted to the university as an undeclared student. I was lost and was not ready to settle on major. Initially, I thought I would be a graphic design major or a social worker. So, I remained undeclared until attending an informational meeting of the department of Interdisciplinary Studies. After listening to the mission and attributes the major had to offer, I knew that I wanted to become an interdisciplinarian. (Various traits of interdisciplinarians) Soon after, I met my advisor Dr. Denise Langley, who grew to be very important person in my undergrad journey and a person I could talk to. My main reason for choosing Interdisciplinary Studies was the fact that I had two concentration areas of my choice. I chose Social Work and Psychology, as my concentrations. I chose these areas of concentrations because it reached

home. My extended as well as my nuclear family has been through struggle at times, were assistance would have greatly helped. (Give Hurricane Katrina/INT) According to Day (2009) values are affectively charged for emotional mobilization; in other words making us want to take action or feel emotionally positive or negative (p.1). My mother had instilled in me the value of caring and sensitivity, along with my new found love for supporting others. According to Phyllis J. Day (2009), Love is not simply the idea of helping others; it inspires each of us to enter the field of human services, to share our efforts, and to work for the well-being of humanity (p.1). This is how I came to the conclusion of pursuing a career in the field of service. I would have to say my freshmen year experience was the best and worst. It was the best because it made me grow as a person and I got the experience of attending a HBCU. Attending an HBCU is of great significance to African Americans. It gives us a common historical journey of struggle & victory, it has a general mission of racial uplift, and there arent too many non HBCUs where I would attend seminars and listen to speakers who have similar stories to my own. At HBCUs to me, there is a natural feeling of pride and community support. I had begun my classes, met new people, and began cheering again. Cheerleading has always been a part of my life and I was excited for the chance to start it back up. What I didnt know was how time consuming and how much pressure I would have to endure. Practice would start at 5 a.m. till about 7:30 a.m. Then I would have enough time to shower and then off to class. I rarely had time to hang out and experience anything outside of practice and class. Norfolk along with cheerleading was a geographical shock; they do a lot of things differently than in Northern Virginia, so I got the pressure put on hard. I would often meet with my advisor and she would give me words of advice to keep me motivated. At the same time I was experiencing all these new things, I was also in a long distance relationship. I had been in this relationship since high

school and it had grown emotionally abusive before I had even left for college. To me leaving for college was to pursue higher education, but also a means of breaking away from that relationship. I was often conflicted on how to feel and juggle all my responsibilities. Once the end of the semester came, I had finally started to catch on and had ended my unhappy relationship to focus on loving and bettering myself as an individual. During my second semester right before the big game versus Hampton University I had gotten hurt pretty bad. We were up early in the gym for practice as always. Coach wanted us to throw some more advanced stunts for the game. I was a flyer, which is a dangerous position. I started to lean in to grab for my teammates hand then I fell over and landed on my butt with no once catching me. The pain jolted up my spine and I could feel the pain instantly and tears start to roll down my cheek. I went to the university nurse and was advised not to attend the game. My mother and grandmother heard the news and advised me to turn in my stuff; they felt it was too dangerous and mentally bad for me at the time. (Drawbacks) It was a loss and gain; I had no longer had something I loved to do, but now I had the time I needed to focus on my academics. During that semester my social work professor was Dr. Fairfax, and anyone who knows her knows shes serious about what she does. Being a freshman taking this 200 level class with juniors and seniors I was intimidated, a lot of people had warned me. One thing her class taught me is to think critically, her exams were always short answer and detailed. During final exam week, I received a call that my Grandmother on my dads side has passed away. This hit me hard for that I felt I didnt spend as much time with her as I should before her passing. During the middle of examinations I packed up my stuff and headed home to be with my family. Even though Dr. Fairfax was a very time orientated person, I was allowed to take my social work exam at a later date online. A day after her wake I had to head back to school to take my final

exam, then came back home. This was a hard time for me and I would say out of all my semesters my personal life affected my academics the most. I was still in good standings, but I knew I could do better. I had no ambition along with any money to continue here at Norfolk State University.

Cross Roads
I called my sophomore year the crossroads for that I had to make a lot of big decisions. In elementary school I had repeated the first grade and then skipped to third grade, this is how I felt about this particular year. I have to say I was not 100% sure if I wanted to go back to Norfolk State, I didnt know what was next for me. I had gotten a lot of mixed feedback from different people about my major and my university. Working at a doctors office a lot of the physicians and nurses children went to more prestigious universitys and I felt looked at my school as a second rate university. (Insert HBCU drawbacks, assumptions, & flexibility) Now, Im use to people asking me what exactly is Interdisciplinary Studies, but then it felt as though people were attacking for not have a traditional discipline. I had people tell me oh thats not a major, get out of it while you still can, or what do you plan to do with that. (Benefit of INT). My ultimate decision of coming back to Norfolk State was that I had a history. I wouldnt have to worry about my credits not being transferred and I wanted to finish where I started.

Back into the Groove

Soc of Afo-American course (discussions), Types of Learners (theories), Abnormal Psy (Personality Disorders)

Ending on a high note

(Self-actualization), (expectations), (INT Characteristic Traits) (tutoring experiences)

References Arroyo, A.T. & Gasman, N. (2013). An HBCU-Based Educational Approach for Black College Student Success: Toward a Framework with Implications for All Institutions. Arroyo, A.T. (2013). Selections from seeds of maturity. In A. Arroyo (Ed.), Ideas and their influences (pp. 1-47). Dubuque, Iowa: Kendal Hunt. Day, P. J. (2009). A new history of social welfare (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon. McLeod, S. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.simplypsychology.org/behaviorism.html Roosevelt, F.D. (1933, March). Inaugural Address. Speech presented at East Portico, Washington, D.C.