In the past, when most families in Vietnam were extended families, love lives and marriage decisions were

affected a lot by the elders. Many marriages had been set up since childhood, which meant that a girl had to marry a guy she had no idea of. If a guy wanted to marry a girl, he had to accommodate her familys requirements. A family gathering would be held to check if the guys family had any connection, someone they could go to for help. Rich families without a son are often targets for poor guys as they would be able to inherit the money after his wifes parents died. Last but not least, there were cases of bad parenthood, where marriages were set up for business relations. In marriages where emotional bonds rarely existed like those, spouses had trouble relating to each other. Husbands always considered themselves to be superior and the role of wives to be taking care of the family. As a result, conflicts happened and relationships were likely to break down. Nowadays, relatives dont share the same house anymore. Brotherhood seems to exist between siblings during childhood, as people struggle to keep up with a fast-paced life. Therefore, marriage decisions dont depend on family members as much as they used to. Out of touch parents may still be stubborn and choose spouses for their children, but they will soon find the task unrewarding. Although children may bear a family resemblance to and was given strict upbringing from parents, it takes a lot to make children marry someone they dont love. If a group of friends is not close-knit, it will be hard for them to get on well with one another. Unless there are some special ties between two people, human instinct doesnt allow us to marry some total strangers. Parents may find the spouses approachable, while it is relative to each person.