Trust vs.

Mistrust: The Infancy Period This stage, from birth to about one year of age, is basic but very important. A trusting childs life can be considerably different from a mistrusting child. This stage is mostly fulfilled by a mother. The simple but essential events that happen after a baby is born are feeding, holding, changing diapers, and nurturing, all make a baby either trusting or mistrusting. A baby that is taken care of in all those ways will be, in general, a happier baby. When a baby cries, she knows she will be tended to and becomes trusting therefore, a calmer baby. Over time and later in life she will be filled with hope and belief that everything will be okay in life. Say a baby isnt cared for or nurtured the way she should be then she will cry, worry, and be scared. Not being taken care of, touched, or loved on then the baby will become mistrusting, something that is hard to change later in life. (Harder, 2009) I was born to my mother, Genetha, and my father, Rick, on January 20, 1985 in Anderson, Indiana. Shortly after we moved to Livingston, Tennessee near the beautiful lake Dale Hollow. Being a first child, my parents were very excited about my arrival. My mom had been very excited but had thought I was going to be a boy. After thirty-six hours of labor, she was upset that I was a girl. She says though after she saw me for the first time she cried with joy and was excited again. Other than having to eventually have me by c-section, everything was normal and I was a happy and healthy baby. At about six weeks, I was crying and eating constantly but still not happy. When I was two months old, at a routine check-up, my doctor told my mom that nothing was wrong with me other than I was starving. Even though my mom was doing her best, I was still hungry. The doctor told her to go home and fix me gravy and eggs. She starting feeding me cereal and soon I was eating eggs and gravy.

I was a spoiled baby. Being the first grandchild on my moms side, I didnt have to share any attention with anyone. I was definitely held, feed, loved on, and certainly cared for. I, without doubt, was a trusting child at the end of the first year of my life. Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt: Toddler Years Within the toddler years are ages of one to three. During this time a child becomes more independent or self-reliant (autonomy) or becomes withdrawn (shame and doubt). Changes occur during this time including learning to feed and dressing themselves, toilet training, and learning to walk and talk. The major milestone at this stage is toilet training. Some start early and others take more time. The key in it is a parent lets the child go at their own pace and maturity and does not push too early. Supportive and patient parents are crucial. With that, a child gains more selfcontrol over their bodies (Harder, 2009) and learns new life skills. The greatest gift after learning all of that is the child has positive self-esteem making for an independent personality. The flip-side to this stage is that it can bring on self-doubt and embarrassment. If a child is pushed to early at a skill, especially toilet training then it can lead to the parent making the child feel bad about them. This can cause the child to become withdrawn, embarrassed, or they could have trouble making decisions. Again, for a positive outcome the child needs to be cared for by warm, sensitive parenting and reasonable expectations. (Berk, 2008, p249) When I was six months old, my mom found out she was pregnant with my brother, Chad. In the next nine months, my mom had big plans. She did not want two children in diapers or using baby bottles. Around the time my brother was born, April 1986, I was toilet trained. It may seem like I was pushed too early but my mom says that I had no problem with it. She says I quickly learned. She doesnt recall it making any negative effect on my emotional or social

development. Something she didnt have to break us from was a pacifier. We never left the hospital with one nor had one at home. I know my parents both cared for us and did what they thought was best. At this stage I had both of my parents and my brother, who I absolutely adored since his arrival, in the same home. At the same time though my father was an alcoholic and it was coming between my mother and him. Regardless of that I certainly left the second stage being self-reliant putting me on the autonomy side. Initiative vs. Guilt: Preschool Years A lot occurs during the ages of three to five, the third stage. A child will either have good self-esteem and confidence or be filled with doubt and guilt. When in a childcare setting or just being around others, children have the opportunity to learn while playing. Children love to roleplay. They also learn problem solving and gain social skills at the same time of role play. Around the world, children act out family scenes and highly visible occupations-police officer, doctor, and nurse. (Berk, 2008, p 364) When children are at this age they are encouraged to take risk, whether it is by adults or peers. They take initiative on their daily routines such as getting dressed, starting a conversation with a classmate, and trying again when theyve failed. Children learn to try things on their own. Just like adults, when they fail what theyve attempted then they may back down and become withdrawn. When they succeed or have support when they do fail they will create a positive self-image. Working in a childcare facility I have noticed that this is a crucial time that makes children who are they are going to be for a long while. It is important to always say something positive when you do correct a child, so that they will take initiative on their own and have a positive mind set.

At the ages of three to five I was enrolled in a childcare center and then kindergarten when the time came. I was a lively little girl that loved to play and socialize. I had my little brother at home, whom I was attached to. Playing in the yard, visiting our many cousins, and always having fun, I would consider myself to be a confident little girl. Living in Tennessee, I was always outside and playing. I was the first grandchild on my mothers side so I got plenty of attention along with support. My mother has always been there to encourage me, give me the push that I need, and there to tell me what Ive done wrong. All of those factors making for a good foundation. I believe that I left this stage being initiative and good self-esteem. Going into the next stage, my life was about to make a change. My parents got a divorce. Industry vs. Inferiority: Elementary Years This stage roughly includes the ages six through twelve. During these years children are in elementary school. A new or stronger relationship is formed with school and neighborhood. Children are capable of learning, creating, and accomplishing numerous new skills and knowledge, thus developing a sense of industry or competency. They learn how things work, likes to experiment and enjoys being in school. This is also the time when social skills are an important part of their lives. If they experience unresolved feelings of inadequacy or inferiority with their friends or classmates then it can damage their self-esteem. They may become withdrawn, doubt themselves, and procrastinate, which all can hurt their school grades. (Harder, 2009) My parents were divorced just as I started kindergarten. They divorced because my fathers drinking problem. Doing only what my mother thought was best, she packed me, my brother, and herself in the car and we moved here to Indiana. Up until that point I thought my life

was the way it was suppose to be. I continued kindergarten here. By this time, my mother had me to the dentist. They had concluded my bottom jaw was growing faster than the rest of my body, causing an extreme over-bite. On top of all of that my mother was really struggling to make sure we had everything we needed, even food. She wasnt getting any support from my father. By the second grade my dentist had me in a hideous contraption that went from my forehead to my chin. Looking back I dont see how they thought it would slow the growth of my jaw. It didnt. I continued to look different from everyone and was teased. Therefore I became withdrawn and definitely unsure of myself, although I excelled in school. When I went home I knew Id be loved by my mother and brother. Something I can still count on. So at home I was a happy, normal kid. My brother and I enjoyed taking things apart and seeing how they worked. I think this goes to show that support from people around you makes a great deal of difference. I was two different people at once. Im not real sure how I came out of this stage. I assume I was more on the negative side of it. Identity vs. Role Confusion Big, important, life changing decisions are to be made in this stage. This stage includes the ages from twelve to eighteen. They begin to shape what their lives and who they will be. School peers become a bigger part of their lives, could be positive or negative for others. Early in the stage children, now teens start to care what others think and how they look and present themselves to their peers in school, family, and friends. As the next few years come along college and their future starts to become of interest. Some know, without thinking about it, know what they want to grow-up to be. Others dont have a clue and it could be because of the lack of guidance or self-confidence. Teens can change a lot

many times, trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in, in the world. At the end of this stage, teens are entering adulthood knowing who they and their role or go into it still unsure of their place. (Berk, 2008, p. 600) By the age of twelve, my mother met my step-father, Tom. They were married and had a son, Austin by the time I was thirteen. During this time things got better financially and we moved to Yorktown, Indiana and together they built a new home for our new family, which included two new step-brothers. So my family went from three to seven in the matter of a couple years. It was very different and Im not so sure that I truly enjoyed it. I went through high school as a secretly depressed girl. I always took things to heart which resulted getting my feelings hurt a lot. School was rough. I was still teased and the dentist and surgeons had agreed that once I had stopped growing that surgery was a must. So I was stuck with ugly old me for a few more years. Going home wasnt much better. Having a mixed famil y caused many problems. My parents not agreeing on how to discipline each others children was the huge factor. I had no idea where I was suppose to go with my life and not so sure that I was even meant to be here. Being like second mom to my little brother, Austin, I knew I loved kids. I think it was the unconditional love that came with it. I struggled in this stage. I left it depressed and not sure what my purpose was in this world. Intimacy vs. Isolation This stage covers a larger age gap than the previous ones, twenty to forty years old. In the beginning of this stage most people are doing one of two things: going to college or have started their lives. Going to college gives a person the opportunity to meet many new people, be introduced to new cultures, and participate in groups or clubs. All of which give the

chance of making new friends and relationships. Starting life without a college degree or experience can be tough and make a person unsociable. Past experiences can also hinder someone from having healthy relationships or even making relationships or friendships at all. Moving on in this stage people tend to get married and start families. Adults closeness to groups and other things may dwindle. The most important relationship tends to be with the significant other, followed by close family and friends. (Harder, 2009) On the flip-side of this stage, some people become isolated and have no interest or confidence in themselves, to establish any close relationships. I didnt go to college after high school. Embarrassed by my looks, I ran off to Tennessee to live with my grandparents and to be closer to my dad and some other family. It wasnt long after being there that my mother called and said that she had gotten a letter from the surgeon saying that it was important for me to get the reconstructive surgery done on my jaws. Although I was terrified I moved back home. The plan was I had to wear braces for two years, after one year the surgery would be done. I had the braces put on. Shortly after I got my first job, the one Im still working, at a day care center. Not long after that I started a nine month massage therapist school. Although I discovered I didnt like it, after a couple months, I completed it and got my massage therapist license. During all of those events I started to bond with a small group of high school friends and starting dating one of them, Scott. After the first year of braces I had the reconstructive surgery done. I was a twenty year old and cried the whole way to the Indianapolis hospital. Months after the surgery, I realized that I had the confidence that I never knew was in me. They say looks dont matter but I do believe that it can greatly affect a persons happiness.

The following spring, Scott proposed. We were married six months later in the fall. It all seemed right at the time. I moved in with him and started life. Life was great. I had a great family and friends. In 2009, I lost my younger cousin, 16 years old, to brain cancer. He was like a brother. I was crushed. My family was torn apart and has never been the same. All of my friends moved on, moving out-of-state or starting families of their own. No one had the time like the good-ole days. I quickly realized that life was short and that I needed to be happy and make the best of it. After being together for 6 years, I divorced Scott and I can say that Im finally living life. Im happy with all of my choices and dont regret anything. I plan on finishing school with an Associate in Early Childhood Education. Im fortunate enough that I received a scholarship for T.E.A.C.H. and I hope to make them proud. After multiple years of school and taking my time, I am now in my last semester and I couldnt be more excited. I am blessed with a husband, Josh and our newborn, Memphis. God is large part of our life and I know he has guided me and will continue to guide me along with my family. Generativity vs. Stagnation Roughly ages thirty-five to sixty-five are within this stage. This stage and the previous one overlap some due to the fact that people move on with life at different times. People become success in their careers, are busy with families life, with children and activities, and others do simply what they want all by themselves. Generativity comes from the base word, generation and means giving to the next generation through child rearing, caring for others, or productive work. (Berk, 2008, p. 16) The majority of people carry on with life by having children, new generations. People that grow-up

having unconditional love and a positive family life, look forward to starting a family and doing their best to provide the same environment. Although, a person does not need to have offspring to fall into the generativity side it means that the person has a caring and giving personality. The opposite side of this stage is stagnation. When someone doesnt have the opportunity to care for children or give to someone, they may become stagnate. Feelings of greed, being selfcenter, or self-indulgence will lead a person to care less for the younger generations and the world as a whole. The years of this stage are creeping up on me and will be here before I know it. I am excited for what the years to come hold for me. I have a family of my own and plan to teach my child and any future children to be the best they can be. I hope to travel and see some of the few great things God gave us. I feel that I am a giving and very caring person. I enjoy giving and making people happy. I believe that church can help me accomplish this. I love volunteering for church events and giving what I can to help others. I assist in sending gifts to less fortunate children in other countries. One day I want to be there when kids open those gifts to see the joy in their eyes. My husband and I also sponsor a child in the Dominican Republic and we hope to one day visit him. Ive never been on a mission trip but I hope to go this next year and make it a priority to go on one at least every five years. I pray that I can raise my child(ren) to care for others as much for others as they care for themselves. I hope to teach them that material things dont matter like family, memories, caring, and giving do. I want my children to see what others have and appreciate everything and

everyone they have in their lives. I want to make an impact on my children so that they may do the same in generations to come. Integrity vs. Despair The eighth and final stage of Eriksons theory is integrity vs. despair, starting at the age of fifty-five on until death occurs. I believe that those that live longer die with integrity and those that live in despair die sooner. A person with integrity has a sense of pride and is content with what he/she has done with their life. They have healthy relationships with others and have wisdom and guidance to offer. They accept aging gracefully and there for death as well. Those that live in despair feel useless and resent the outside world. They can be close minded and withdrawn from the outside world. They tend to be irritable and angry at times. This is the last stage and Erikson felt that much of life is preparing for the middle adulthood stage and the last stage is recovering from it. (Harder, 2009) I am now watching my grandparents in this last stage and Im taking their experience and trying to prepare for my future. My grandpa has always been a hard, everyday worker and he suddenly gotten sick causing him to not be able to work. He seems to be depressed and says he doesnt want to just wait to die. Hes never shown much emotion and now there is a lot. It scares me. I want him to be positive and live as longs as he can but I fear the negativity will soon take over him. I hope, sooner than later, I learn to balance life. I want to have hobbies so that one day when Im not able to work, Ill have something to occupy me but I also want to live a happy, relaxed life. I pray that I live a simple life and have much wisdom to give to my children, grandchildren, and hopefully great grand-children. I want to continue to stay in church and accept the

thought of death. I hope that when Im not able to work that I stay active by doing hobbies, spending time with family, volunteering, and staying involved in church. As far as death, I hope to live a happy healthy life and die in my sleep with a smile, just as my great grand-mother did. That smile reassures me that she died with integrity and I hope to do just the same. Summary I can honestly say that this paper has made me really think on life and what it should be made of. I have thought about past events and how theyve affected me. I feel like I was on the positive side the majority of the time. Im proud to say I think I made the best of negative situations and used them to my advantage. Things really have been put into perspective since starting this paper. I think I appreciate small things more and Im gradually doing better about looking at and focusing on the positive more. Im glad to have had this assignment and I hope I continue to focus on what is most important in life.

Works Cited Berk, Laura E. Infants, Children, and Adolescents. Boston: Pearson Education, 2008. Print. Harder, Arlene F. MA, MFT. (n.d.) The Developmental Stages of Erik Erikson. The Developmental Stages of Erik Erikson. Retrieved from http://www.learningplaceonline.com/stages/organize/Erikson.htm