OTHER BOOKS BY JEFF KINNEY Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw

Diary of a Wimpy Kid Do-lt-Yourself Book DIARY

GREG HEFFLEY'S JOURNAL t St Kihhe

PUBLISMR'S NOT: This is a work of iction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiouslyr and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Library of Congress Cataoging-in-Publicaton Data: Kinney, Jeff. Diary of a wimpy kid / Jeff Kinney. p. cm. Summary: Greg records his experiences in a middle school where he and his best friend, Rowley, undersized weaklings amid boys who need to shave twice daily, hope just to survive, but when Rowley grows more popular Greg must take drastic measures to save their riendship. ISBN 978-0-8109-9313-6 (paper over board) [1. Middle schoolsPiction. 2. PriendshipPiction. 3. SchoolsPiction. 4. DiariesRction. 5. Mumorous stories.] I.

Title. PZ7.K6232Dia 2007 [Fic]-dc22 2006031847 VVimpy Kid text and illustrations Copyright 2007 VVimpy Kid, Inc. DIARY OF WIMPY KID and Greg Meffley cover image are trademarks of Wimpy Kidf Inc. Book design by Jeff Kinney Cover design by Chad w. Beckerman and Jeff Kinney Published in 2007 by mulet Books, an imprint of Marry N. brams, Inc. All rights reserved. No portion oF this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical, elec- tronic, photocopying, recording, or othervvise, without written permission from the publisher. mulet Books and mulet Paperbacks are registered trademarks of Marry N. brams, Inc. Printed and bound in U.S.. 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 mulet ooks are available at special discounts vvhen purchased in quantit for premiums and promotions as well as undraising or educational use. Special editions can also be created to speciication. For details, contact specialmarkets(a)hnabooks.com or the address below. HNAII J harry n. abrams, inc. a subsldlary of La Martinire Croupe 115 West lth Street New York, NY lOOll www.hnabooks.com TO tiOti, DAD, RE, SCOTT, AND PATRICK SEPTEIiBER ^[esda "Fi'rs+ 0-f rtll, le+ ne cje+ Some+vh^ s+rdi^K+* 'TVkis is JOURNAL, ho+ iar. X khow w^rt+ i+ scxs oh +he coVer, i)0+ wheh Hon weh+ 00+ +0 i>iy +vs +Kih^ X SPECIFICALLY +old her +0 cje+ ohe +Kd+ didh+ Scx 'dicxr'' oh i+. Gred+. All X heed is -for Some jerk +0 crt+ch me Crtrryihg +v's book rtroohd dhd cje+ +he wrohcj ided. (SISSY?)

*tVw "T^e o+her +vh^ X Wrth+ +0 clear t <"'3^+ rtWrt is +hrt+ +his Wrts MOMs icert, ho+ mihe. Bo+ i-f she +vhks 30,'r*3 "to wri+e dowh ry "Teelihgs ih here or wKd+ever; shes crrtz.. So jos+ dohJ+ ex^ec+ ne +0 i)e rtll "Pecxr Viar" +vs rthd "Pear Pirtr" +hrt+. "^e ohl reasoh X rt^reed +0 do +v's CX+ rtll is becrtuse X i^ort Irt+er oh w^eh rich dhd f<xn)00Sj X II hrtVe >e++er vVu^s +0 do +hrth rthswer<uesl''0*rsdy lohg. So +v's book is c^ohhrt come ih Kdhd. GREGOR! TELL us ABOUT YOR WERE YOU ALWAYS 50 SMART AND UANDSOME?

Like X SdicL XU >e -rnous ohe (cy, i)0+ -for how s+ock ih middle sc^ool wi+h buhch 0-f rnorohs. Le+ ne jus+ S(X -for +he record +hd+ X +Kihk micUle sc^ool is +he doni)es+ ided ever ihVeh+ed. Y00 CJ0+ kds like me w^0 hrtVeh + v'+ +heir ^row+^ e+ mixed ih wi+h +hese ^orilldis w^0 heed +0 shrtVe +wice rt dcy. ^FOUTTA MY\ SLV/Y; RUNTSy

+he wohder wy bullihg is soch t >CJ ^roilen ih middle sc^ool. X-f i+ wrtS t +0 r\t} c^rrtce leVels woold i)e brtSed oh heic^-i-, ho+ rtcje. Bo+ +heh rtcjrtih, X ^uess +Krt+ woold merth kids like Cvrrtcj Gi>+rt woold s+ill i)e ih +he -irs grade. ^[cU is irsi drt crf scKool, rthd ri^K+ how we re jos+ Wrti|hcj dtrouhd -for "the iertcher +0 hurr 0^ rthd /ihisK -the serthg chrtr-h So X -gured X dis well wrvte ih +Kis took +0 ^rtSS -the +ine. B Wrt, le+ ne cjive oo Sorne cjood rtdvice. Oh -the irs da 0-f scKool J oo CJ0+ +0 l>e rertl cdire-fol vvhere oo si+. oo Wrtlk ih+o "the cUssroon ahd joS+ ^luhk oor dowh oh rth old desk rthd "the hex+ -thihg ou khow -the. iertcher is saihg / UOPE YOU ALL UK^\ WWERE YORE SITTING, \ BECAUSE THESE ARE YOUR PERMANENT SEATS. y

So ih -this cUss, X 30+ s+ock wi+K chrs Hose ih froh+ 0-f me. rthd Liohel Jrtr*>es ih Wk 0-f r*>e. 4 JASoh Brill Crtme ih Irt+e rthd rtlr*>0S+ Srt+ +0 ny >u+ luckil X s+o^ed {rom rt+ +he lrtS+ Secohd.

\^iex+ ^eriod, X should jos+ si+ ih rniddle 0-f rt buhcK 0-f ho+ 31'rls rtS Sooh as X s+e^ ih -the roorn. Bu+ X ^oess i-f X do i+ j^s+^roVes X didh+ learh rth+Ki^ {rom Irtsi texr. GREG, WILL YOU PLESE PASS THIS NOTE T SUELLY? WWY, CERTAINLY UEU, HEH. Mrth, X doh+ khow WHAT is u wi+K cjirls Ahd ih +Ke --+K Qrtxt, +he -frtS+es+ ruhher WAS Rohhie McCo. Q? , <? o ^ovvrtdas., i+s rt wvjle lo+ nore con^licrt+ed. \^iow i+s rtl>ou+ +he kihd 0-f clo+hes ou wear or how rch oo Art or i-f ou hrtVe rt c+e btrtt or wKrt+ever. Ahd kicis lilce Rohhie McCo rtre scrrt+cKih^ Kertds wohderih^ whrt+ Keck "TKe rnos+ poouUr boy ih r*>y qrade is Bryce

X remember how Brce used +0 rtc+ trtcc ih elemeh+ar school. I DON'T TUINK' GIRLS ARE STNKY POOS

Bu+ 0-f courst how X doh + rth credii -for s+ickih^ wi+K -the ^irls rtll +Kis iirne. Like X Srtid; Brce is r*>os+ ^o^ulrtr kid ih our so leaves rtll res+ 0-f us QUS scrrtr*iblihcj -for -the o+her s^o+s. "TVe X Crth -fi$urz is +hrt+ XVn sor*iewhere arouhd 52hd or 53rd r*>os+ ^o^ulrtr +Kis tar. Bu+ ^ood hews is X r*> rttou++0 rnoVe ohe s^o+ becrtuse Charlie PrtVies is rtboVe mtj rthd hes ^eHihc Kis trices hex+ week. X -Ir +0 ex^lrtih rtll +Kis ^o^ulrtriH s0-f-f +0 ny riehd Rovvle (wKo is ^robrtbl hoVerihcj ri^K+ dirouhd -the 150 mark, b "the wa)j to+ X +KiVk i+ jus+ cjoes ih ohe ear rthd 00+ the o+her wi+K Kim.

vechesdrt 'ldrt we hrtd Phs E-d; so rsi -tvh^ X did X 30+ ou+sidewrtS Shertk o-f-f o brtske+brtll couri +0 see i-f +he CKeese wrtS s+ill there- Ahd sure ehogh; i+ wrtS.

yitct 0-f CKeese \\AS beeh si++ihg oh "the blrtck+o^ sihce Us+ S^rih^. X ^uess i+ mus+Ve dro^^ed OU+ 0-f someohes SrthdwicK or

Some+hih^. AA cou^le o das, -the Cheese s+rtr+ed C^e-Hih^ rtll nold rthd hrtS'ly. \\lobod would ^U >rtske-+>rtll oh -the court where +ne Cheese wASj eVeh +houcjh -4>rt+ wrtS +he ohl coori -4>rt+ W rt hoc> vvi+h rt he-h *Teh ohe drt, +vs kid hrtned Prtrreh Vslrtlsh ioucKed +he Cheese wi+K Kis -ih^er, rthd -thrt+s whrt+ s+dir+ed -this ihihg Crtlled "the CKeese "lucK. x+s brtScrtllv like Coo+ies. X-f OU cje+ CKeese 'XouCfi; oure s+uck wi+K i+ uh+il ou ^rtSS i+ oh +0 soneohe else.

"Te ohl Wcy +0 ^)ro+ec+ oursel-f {rom CKeese "luch is +0 cross our -ih^ers. +0 kee^ our fihcjers crossed eVer r*>or*>eh+ 0-f +he drt. X ehded u +rt^ih^ mihe -to^e+her So +K&V d s+ex crosst rtll the +ir*>e. X 30+ rt p ih hrthawri-|-ihcj, to+ i+ was -to+rtll wor+h i+. "Tis ohe kid hrtned Abe Hrtll 3+ CKeese louch ih Afril, rthd hobod would eveh corne hear him -for res+ 0-f ear. "Tvs Summer AU moVed rtWrt +0 Crtli-orhirt rthd +ook -the CKetse ^uch wi+K Kirn. Bo+ i+s ho+ easrememberihq X jus+ Ko^e Soneohe doesh+ s+dir+ -the Cheese "luch u rt^diih J becrtuse X doh+ heed kihd 0-f s+ress ih m i-ft rthmore. ^ursrtV Xr*> hrtVihcj rt seriousl hard +ir*>e cje++ihcj used +0 -frtc+ Summer is over rthd X hrtVe +0 cje+ 00+ 0-f >ed eVer r*>orhihcj +0 op +0 school. H summer did ho+ exrtc+l cje+ of +0 rt ^rerti s+rtri-, thrthks +0 ny older bro+her Rodrick. 10 A cou^le 0-f das ih+o Summer vacdrtoh, Rodrick woke r*>e u ih middle 0-f hi^K+- He +01(1 r*>e X sle^+ +Krou^K -\\\t whole Summer, l)u+ luckil X woke 0^ jos+ ih +ir*>e -for -irs+ drty 0-f school. or ohe, bu+ Rodrick wrtS dressed ih Kis School clo+hes rthd Ke se+ ny rtUrm clock rthead +0 nirtke i+ 1 look like i+ wrtS morhihg. Plus, he 1 fr*ihs So X couldh+ see +w + w rtS Afftr Kodrick woke me uy J '- jos+ CJ0+ dressed rthd

11 Bu+ X gutss X r*>us+ hrtVe mrtde rt ^re-H l>icj rrtccei becrtuse hex+ ttahc X khew, Prtd wrtS dowhs+rtirs, ellih^ rt+ ne -for ert+ih^ Cheerios rt+ 3*00 ih -the r*>orhihcj.

x+ +ook r*>e rt rniho+e +0 /^ure 00+ whrt+ "the Ktcc WrtS 301'hg oh. X X +ld X^rtd +hrt+ Kodrick hrtd ^Ued rt +ricc oh r*>e, rthd ME wrtS ohe sKould be ^e+ih^ elled drh Prtd Wrtlked dowh +0 brtsemeh-t +0 chew Rodricc ou, rthd X +33e(| rtlohcj. X couldhi Wrti+ +0 see Rodrick ^e+ WrtS cor*iih0 +0 him. 12 Bu+ Rodrick covered Kis +rrtc|cs ^re-Hy cjood. Ahd +0 +his &<yy > Xr*> sure Prtd ihihcs Xve ^0+ rt screw loose or Sone+Kih^.

TridrtV ^drt rt+ school we ^0+ rtSSicjhed +0 readihcj cjrou^s. "TV>e doh+ come r^v+ 00+ rthd +ell ou i-f ourt ih -the Gi+ed ^rou^ or -+he wrts cjrou^; tu+ ou Crth iOUrt i+ 00+ ri^K+ rtWrt t lookih a+ iu covers 0-f tooks +he hrthd 0U+. ENSTEIN Bnk 5A CHLD Tty yp HOTT 5AYS BO (600}.

13 X Wrts ^>re-H disrt^oih+ed +0 -fihd ^>u+ ih +he Gi-f+ed o^rou^, becrtuse ex+rrt work. vl^eh +he did +he screehih^ rt+ ehd t>es+ +0 mrtke Sure X 30+ ih 'E-rts

0U+ X 30+ +hrt+jus+ merths rt lo+ 0-f 0-f Us+ t<xr, X did ry ^rou^ +his ec*r.

FRED PICKED UP THE BUH...BAH... BEE... WWEW. TUANKS!

THE "BOOK. Mon is rertl +^+ wi+h our ^>rihci^rtl, So Xll t>+ s^e s+e^ed ih rthd mrtde Sure X 30+ f>u+ ih Gi-f+ed oTou^ rt^rtih. Mon is rtlwe*s Srtihc^ Xrn rt Smc*r+ cid; t>u+ +hrt+ X jus+ doh + nsel-f. H B>0+ i-f +heres ohe Xleirhed-fronRodrick, i+s +0 se+ ^eo^les ex^ec+rt+iohs rertl low so OU ehd L sur^risih^ +hem t ^rrtc+icrtll doih^ ho+^ih^ rt+ rtll. R.ODRICK, I WANT YOUR DIRTY UNDERWEAR_ OFF THE KITQ-IEN TABLE BEFORE I GET HOME FROM WORK.

GRUNT LATER. Ac+Urtll, X m cihd 0-f ry ^>Uh +0 c^e+ ^u+ ih +he 'E-rts didh+ workX Srtw rt cou^le 0-f +he "Bihk Sas Boo ' kids Koldih^ +heir

books u^side dowh, ahd X doh + +^ihk +he were jokih^. Sdrt-rda vlell, +he {irs week o sc^ool is fihall oVer, So +odrt X sle^>+ ih. Mos+ kids Wrtke L> earl oh Srt+urdcy +0 Wrt+ch Crtr+oohs or whrt+eVer, 1)0+ ho+ ne. ohl rertSoh X 0U+ o t>ed rt+ rtll oh weekehds is becrtuse eVeh+urtll, X Crth + s+rthd +he +rtS+e 0-f py owh t>rert+h Ahymore. r SM4C/T 5M/lCAr I - /N JBL

16 Uh-for+uhrt+el, Prtd Wrtkes u A+ 6-00 ih norhih^ ho mrt+ter WHAT dy 0-f +he week i+ is, rthd Ke is ho+ rertl cohsidera+e of -frtc+ +hrt+ X An +ryihcj +0 ehjo n Srt+urdrt lice rt hormrtl ^ersoh.

X lii^ + hrtVe rth+Uh^ +0 do +odrt so X jus+ hertded uy +0 Rowles house. Rowle is +ec^hicrtll ry t>es+ -rehd, t>u+ +hrt+ is defihi+el sut>jec+ +0 c^rth^e. XVe t>eeh rtVoidih^ Rowle sihce +he firs+ drt 0-f scKool, w^eh Ke did Some+vh^ +hrt+ rertll rthhoed ne. vle were ^e++ih^ our s+u-ff -from our lockers rt+ ehd 0-f dy, rthd Rowle Crtme uY +0 ne rthd Srtid /WANT TO COME OVER\ TO liY HUSE AND v_ PLAYyY? J

+0 Srt hrthc^ 0U+, ' ho+ ' hornrt-Her how mrth hoo^ies X ^ive him, Ke rtlwys -[orQt-s +^e hex+ +ine. X Ve t>eeh +ryihcj +0 te rt lo+ no re Cc*re-ful rtt>ou+ ry inrt^e eVer sihce X 30+ +0 niddle sc^ool. Bu+ hrtVihc^ Rowle rtrouhd is de-Ahi+el ho+ 13 X Rowle rt -few ears w^eh Ke noVed ih+o py heic^borhood. His non t>ouc^+ him +his book Crtlled How +0 Mrtke Friehds ih Uew PUces," rthd Ke Crtme +0 m ^ouse +rih^ dill +hese dunt) ^innicks. (*

X ^uess X kihd 0-f -fel sorr for Rowle, rthd X decided +0 +rtke Kin uhder ry wih^. x+s t>eeh ^redi+ hrtVihc Kin arouhd, mos+l becrtuse X ^e+ +0

use rtll -triccs Rodrick ^ulls oh r^lE. 1<? /DID YOU KNOW THAT IF YOUR HAND\ IS BIGGER THAN YOUR FACE IT'S A ) VSIGN OF "LOW INTELGENCE"?/

LAf GOTCMA'

wm...LET ME CMECK AGAIN

20 Mohda You khow how X Srtid X ^>ly rtll Sor+S 0-f ^rrthks oh Rowle? vlell; X tave rt li-H-le t>ro+her hrtmed Mrthh, rthd X could NEVER c^e+ c*wrt wi+h ^ullih^ rth 0-f +hrt+ s+u-ff oh Kin. Mon rthd Prtd ^>ro+ec+ Mrthh like hes rt ^rihce or Some+hih^. Ahd he hever ^e+s ih -troukle, eVeh i Ke rertll deserves i+. Yes+erdcy, Mrthh drew rt sel-f-^or+rrti+ oh nv bedroom door ih

^ermrtheh+ nirker. X +Kou^n+ Mon rthd Prtd were rertll ^oih^ +0 le+ Kin hrtVe i+; t>u+ rtS uSurtl, X WrtS wroh^. (aVWWW.??J 7~T 7 # B>0+ ne noS+ rtt>ou+ Mrthh is +^e hickhrtne Ke hrtS or ne. Vl^eh Ke wrtS rt tmty, Ke couldh + ^rohouhce ' t>ro+her, So Ke s+rtr+ed Crtllih^ ne "Bubty." Ahd he STILL Crtlls ne +hrt+ how, eVeh +houc^ X kee^> Luckil hohe of ry friehds hrtVe -fouhd OU+ e+, t>u+ believe me, X tave w Sone rertlly close Crtlls.

Mon mrtkes ne Mdihh rertd -for sc^ool ih +he norhih^. Af+tr X mrtke Mrthh his t>rertk-frtS+, Ke Crries is cerertl t>owl ih+o +he -frtnil roon rthd si+s oh his ^IrtS+ic ^o-H.

"C" IS FOR COOKIeN AND COOKIE IS FOR M! /

w^eh i+s +ine -for Kin +0 0^0 +0 dy c<xrt, he ^e+s 1 w dun^s w^rt+ever Ke didhV ert+ ri^^ ih +oile+.

Mon |S dilwcys ^e++ih^ oh ne rtt>ou+ ho+ -fihis^ih^ ry t>rertkfrtS+. Bu+ i-f s^e hrtd +0 scrrt^e corh rtkes 0U+ of +he t>o++om of rt ^IrtS+ic ^o+-t every norhih^^ she wouldh+ hrtVe much 0-f rth rt^e+i+e ei+her. 23 ~Tesct a X doh*+ khow i-f X meh+iohed +Kis be/ore, 1)0+ X rtm SUPER ^ood Video ^rtnes. X II t>e+ X could t)ert+ rthohe ih ry (^rrtcle hertdte-hertd. Uh/or+uhrt+el^ Prtd does ho+ exrtc+l d^recid+e ry sklls. Hes rtlwrts <^e-H'h<^ oh ne rtboirl- ^oih^ 0U+ rthd doih^ some+hih^ rtc+iVe. So +ohi^K+ rt-f+er dihher w^eh Prtd s+rtr+ed Krtsslih^ ne rtt)0i>+ oir+side, X +rie<l +0 ex^lrtih how wi+K video ^rtmes, ou Crth ^la s^or+s like /oo+brtll rthd soccer, rthd ou doh+ eVeh <^e+ rtll ^0+ rthd swedrty.

Bu+ rtS usurtl, Prtd didh-+ see ry lo^ic. 24 Prtd is rt ^re-H srndr+ opy ih ^eherrtl t)i+ w^eh i+ comes +0 connoh StY\St, Some+imeS X wohder <*!>ou+ Kin.

X Sure Prtd woild disnrth+le ry <^rtme ss+en i-f Ke could /i^ure 01/+ how +0 do i+. loclcly j +he ^eo^le who mrtke +Kese +Kih^S mrtke +Ken ^()ireh+-^roo-f. DAG NAB THESE FANCY GADGETS! E-Ver -tme Prtd kicks ne 01+ 0-f +Ke house +0 do some+vh^ s^or-t, X jus+ op 1^ +0 Rowles rthd ^la ry video ^rtnes +Kere. Uh/or+uhrt+el, +Ke ohl ^rtnes X Cdh ^la rt+ Rowles are cdrrdcih^ ^rtmes rthd s+o-f-f like +Krt+. Becrtuse w^eheVer X t>rih<^ rt ^rtne 1^ +0 Rowles house, his drtd looks i+ 1^ oh sone vlet) si+e. i/ ry ^dne hrtS ANY kihd 0-f /^-Vu^ or violehce ih i+, Ke woh+ le+ os ^l<y-

X rn ^e-Hh^ rt li-Hle sick 0-f ^Irtih^ Forru>lrt Ohe Rrth^ wi+h Rowle, becrtuse hes ho+ rt serious ^rtmer like ne. All +K*+ ou hrtVe +0 do +0 t)ert+ Rowle is hrtme oor Cdr some+hihc^ ridicoloos rt+ +he be^ihhih^ 0-f +^e <^rtme. 26 Ahd +Keh wheh ou ASS ^owles car, he jus+ /rtlls +0 f>ieces.

Ahvvvrt, rt-f+er X 30+ dohe mo^ih^ +^e -floor w+h Rowle +0<<y, X hertded home. X Trth +Krou<jK +Ke heic^bors s^rihkler rt cou^le +ines +0 mrtke i+ look like X WrtS rtll swedrt, rthd +Krt+ seemed +0 do +Ke +rick -for Prtd.

ry +ric|c kihd 0-f brtcc-red, becrtuse rtS sooh rtS Hon Srtw me, s^e mrtde ne op I^s+rtirs rthd +rt|ce rt shower. vledhesdd X 3L,ess Prtd nis+ hrtVe teeh ^re-H wi+K himsel/ -for nrtlcih^ ne OO oir+side es+erdA, becrtuse he did i+ rt^rtih --odrt. x+s <je-H'hg reall rthhoih^ +0 hrtVe +0 OO u^> +0 Rowles eVer +ine X Wrth+ +0 ^lcy rt video ^rtme. 'T^eres +^is vveird kid hrtmed re^le wv> liVes K<*l-fw<y be-hveeh ry house rthd Rowles, rthd re^le is dlw<ys hrth^ih^ 00+ ih his -froh+ rtrd. So i+s ^>re-H hrtrd +0 rtVoid Kin. fWANNA SEE \ 1 MY "SECRET \FRECKLE ?/ fun...N<r\ \THANKSJ

1S re^le is ih ry Plys E-d clrtSS rt+ school, rthd Ke hrtS +Kis whole nrtde-u^ Irth^urt^e. Like wheh Ke heeds +0 op +0 +Ke brt+hroom, Ke sas

--------CS^ ----- ZT-J ---- S5S5 Us kids hrtVe ^re-H much /i^ored Frgle 00+ b how, t>i/+ X doh+ +Kihk +Ke +eoicKers hrtVe rertll C(*u<jK+ oh e+. OK, KID... GE WWIZ*

^drt, X ^rotdtl vvould hrtVe ^ohe +0 Rowles oh ry owh dhw<y, tecdose ry bro+her Rodrick rthd his brthd were ^rrtc+icihg dowh ih +Ke t)t)iseneh+. 4? l^ociricc s brthd is REALLY AW-ful, rthd X Crth + s+rthd t)eih^ home w^eh +^ere hrtVih^ rehearsrtls. His brthd is Crtlled "Lortded Pirt^er/ ohl i+s s^elled "Loded Pi^er oh Rodriclc s Vrth. Yoo ni^+ +Kihk Ke s^elled i+ +^rt+ w<y +0 mrtlce i+ look cooler, 1)0+ X t>e+ i-f oo +old Rodriclc how "Lortded Pirt^er is rertll s^elled, i+ woild be hews +0 Kin.

Prtd was rt^rtihs+ +Ke idert o Rodrick s+rtr+ih^ t brthd,

t)i/+ Hon WrtS rtll -for i+. Shes +he ohe who t)0i><^+ Rodriclc his -firs+ drun se+. 30 X +Kihk Hon has +^is idert +K<*+ were rtll ^oiYu^ +0 learh +0 ^la ihs+runeh+s rthd +^eh tecone ohe 0-f +^ose /rtnil brthds like ou see oh TV.

Prtd rertll hrt+es hertV me+rtl, rthd +K<*+S +Ke kihd 0-f rwsic Rodrick rthd his brthd ^ld. X doh+ +Kihk Hon rertll Cdres w^rt+ Rodrick ^Idis or lis+ehs +0, becrtuse +0 her, dll music is +^e Srtme. fdc+j edrlier -h>dcy, Rodriclc was lis+ehihg +0 ohe o/ his cps ih +^e /rtnil room, rthd Hon Crtme ih rthd s+rtr+ed drthcih^. "Thdrl- rertllRodriclc, so Ke droVef-f+0 +he s+ore rthd Cdne Wk /i-+eeh niho+es Irt--er wi+K sone hertd^hohes. Ahd +K*+ ^re-H much +ook care 0-f +Ke ^roblem.

'TWsddV Yes+erdrt ^odrick <^0+ rt hew hertV ne+dl CD, rthd i+ hrtd ohe 0-f +hose ' Prtreh+rtl vlarhih^ s+ickers oh i+. X h*Ve heVer ^o+teh +0 lis+eh +0 ohe 0-f +hose ?areh+dl vlrtrhihg CDs, tecdose Hon rthd Prtd heVer le+ ne t)i +Ken rt+ --he mrtll. So X rertliz.ed +Ke ohl w<y X WdS ^ohhrt <^e+ t c^rthce +0 lis+eh +0 Rodrick s CD was 'rf X Shuck i+ ot 0-f \\\z house. morhiY\0j rt-pter Rodriclc le-ft, X Crtlled u^> Rowle laer +0 school. rthd +old nin +0 i)riV\0 his CD o 32

"Ttah X weh+ dowh +0 Rodriclcs roort rthd +ook +Ke CD o-f-f his raclc.

Youre ho+ rtllowed +0 brih^ ^ersohrtl music ^laers +0 school, so we hrtd +0 Wrti+ +0 use i+ uh+il rt-f+er luhch w^eh +Ke -lertchers le+ us oir+side. As sooh rtS we <^0+ +^e c^rthce, ne rthd Rowle Shuck arouhd +he Wk 0-f +Ke school rthd lortded OI I > r>|N Rodriclcs CD. Bi+ Rowle -for^o+ +0 ^0+ bd-H-eries ih his CD f>lc*er, so i+ wrtS f>re-H much wor+^less. "Ttah X Crtme 1^ wi+K +Kis ^rert-- idert -for rt <^rtme. IHe ot>jec+ wrtS +0 ^1/+ oh our hertd rthd +^eh +r +0 shrtke 'then o-ff wi+Kou+ osih^ our hrthds. 33 n* wihher V/AS wKoeVer could shdke -+Ke Ked^Kohes f-f ih -+he sKor+es+ amouh+ 0-f +ine.

X 1W +he record wi+K seVeh ahd a hl-f secohds, I)U+ X +hihk X mi^K+ haVe sKook Sorne 0-f ry fillih^s loose wi+K +Ka+ ohe. Ri^K+ 'V\ -+he mi ddle of our ^ame; Mrs. Craig came arouhd +he corher ahd cau^h+ us red-Kahdecl- SKe +ook +Ke nusic ^laer awa -fron ne ahd s+ar+ed cKewih^ us OU+.

34 X sKe had wroh^ idea abotr- wK<*+ we were doih^ i)ck +Kere. SKe s+ar+ed +ellih^ us Kow rock ahd roll is ' evil ahd Kow i+s 301'h^ +0 ruih our braihs. X Ws $oih +0 +ell Ker +Ka+ +here wereh+ eVeh ahv i)++eries ih -+he CD ^laer, )+ X could +ell she dioh+ wah+ +0 i)e ih+erru^+ed. So X jus+ Wi+ed trtrh she Ws dohe, ahd -+Keh X said I "Yes, ma am. >0+ ri^K+ Mrs. Crai^ was <*)o+ +0 le+ us ap, Rowle s+ar+ed i)lui)i)erih^ dbot/t how Ke doesh+ wah+ rock ahd roll +0 ruih Kis "braihs.

Hohes+l^ sone+ines X doh+ khow bot +K<*+ i)o. 35 Fri<Uy Vsell J how Xve ^ohe ahd dohe i+. Las+ a-f+er everohew<*sihbed; X Shuck dowhs-|-irs +0 lis+eh +0 Rodriccs CD oh -+he s+ereo ih -+he /amil roon. X Rodrick s hew Ked^Kohes oh ahd crahked +Ke Volune REALLY "Itah X lv'+ ' ^a."

irsi, le+ ne jos+ s& X c.h de/hi+el uhders+ahd +he ^0+ Pareh+al varhih^ s+icker oh +Ke CD. B>u+ X ohl 30+ +0 Kear i)ou+ +Kiri secohds 0-f -+he -firs+ Soh0 i)e-fore X 30+ ih+erru^+ed. 36 x+ +urhs o\ X did^+ hdVe head^hohes ^lu^ed ih+o s+ereo. So +he nusic WS ac+uall conih^ +Krou^K SPEAKERS, ho+ head^hohes.

Pad marched ne u^> +0 ry room ahd shu+ door l>evW ahd Ke said

VKeheVer Pad s<ys "Aiehd" +K<*+ w<y, ou khow oure ih +roui)le. -firs+ +ine Pad ever said YriehcT like +K<*+ +0 me, X dicW+ ^e+ +K<*+ Ke Ws i)eih^ sarcas+ic. So X kiV\d 0-f le+ ry ^uard dowh.

^fhi^K+i Pad elled a+ ne -for i)ou+ +eh mihu+es, hd -theh X ^uess he decided Ked ra+Ker i)e ih i)ed -+hh s+ahdihg ih ry roon ih his uhderwear. He +old ne X WS ^rouhded -fron ^laihg video ^ames for +wo weeks, which is abotr- wK<*+ X ex^ec+ed. X 3^ess X sKou Id i)e ^lad +ha+s dll Ke dicl'\\} ^ood +^1^3 i)ou+ Pad is +ha+ Ke 3e^s mad; \\t cools o-f-f real <^uick, hd -tKeh i+s oVer. 1)8 Usuall; i-f ou ness uy ih -froh+ 0-f Pad; Ke jus+ +Krows wKa+ever Kes 30+ ih vs Kahds a+ ou. GOOD TIME TO SCREW UP:

BAD TIME TO SCREW UP:

Mon has TOTALLY di-f'fereh+ sile wKeh i+ cones +0 ^uhisKneh+. X/ ou ness ahd Mon ca+cKes you, -firs+ -tKihg sKe does is +0 +ake A -few das +0 iurt 00+ wK<*+ our ^uhisKneh+ should i)e. 3 A*d wKile oure wai-Hh^; ou do all +Kese hice -thi^gs +0 +r +0 ^e+ o easier. I JUST DUSTED _ THE DINING ROOti FR THE HECK 0F IT

HOW THUGHTFUL F YOU!

Bu+ -+Keh a-f+er a -few das, ri^K+ wKeh You for^e+ oure ih -

rouble, +K*+S w^eh sta las i+ oh you. r ARE YOU UAVING FUN?

Mohda Tv's video ^ame i)h is A wKole lo++K<*'r' X +Koo^K+ i+ would be. Bu+ a+ leas+ Xm ho+ +he ohl ohe ih +he /amil wKos ih -rouble. Rodrick s ih Sorne ho+ wa+er wi+K Hon righ+ how, +00. Mahh 30+ ahold 0-f ohe 0-f Rodricks Keavy me+al ma^azihes, ahd ohe 0-f ^3es K<*d a ^ic+ure 0-f A womh ih bikihi lih<j across -+he hood 0-f a car. Ahd Mahh i)rou^K+ i+ ih+o da care for show-ahd-ell. //MVS

A^vva, X doh+ +vhk Hon was +00 abotr^e++ih^ +K<*+ ^Kohe Crtll. X saw -+he ma^azihe nysel-f, ahd i+ Kohes+l wash'+ ah+v'h<j +0 ^e+ worked 0^> oVer. B>u+ Hon doesh+ llow +h*+ kihd of s0f-f ih +he Koose. 41 Rodricks was +Ka+ Ke +0 ahswer A bi/hc.^ 0-f cues+iohS Hon wro+e 00+ -for Kim.

Sa. urTU/Tv^ tvh, <r*vc^Bi/^uj\, rrrvaie, x<JL **" tt&- -IAJ>OTJ NoQi. . rrr^eduL Mou. /nv^ ^3puJ!a/T_ a*- Achool ? No. }^lur & I|(5U. QJJOU, AaArn O^1 /VYUl^Q/^l/VX^, mocLT ?

X *pse| as^OMecl* ? (^ou. Aav CXrru^^rr^ ^ou. U/GrvX. .' .xOnrt/TV -^ox A-ccv^r^ ourTis. jb, o^/T\Atv T> sorrwP>en. 42 VedhescU X s+ill ^rouhded -fron ^laih^ video ^ameS; so Mhh h<*s keeh usih^ py ss+en. Hon weh+ Ot ahd i)ou^K+ d whole buhch 0-f educa+iohal video ^dines^ ahd w+cKih^ Mhh ^U +KefT> is like +or+ure.

^ood hews is +K<*+ X ihall i^ured 00+ Kow +0 ^e+ Sorne 0-f ry ^ames y>as+ Rowles dad. X jus+ ^u+ ohe 0-f ny discs ih Mahhs PiscoVerih^ +he Al^K<*i)e+ case, ahd +K<*+S all i+ +akes. m Uimnriy ^ursdav A+ school +od<y, +Ke hhouhced +K<*+ s+udeh+ ^oVerhneh+ elec+iohs <xrt conih^ u^. 'Xo te Kohes+ wi+K out Xve hever hrtd h ih+eres+ ih s+udeh+ ^oVerhneh+. Bu+ w^eh X s+rtr+ed +Kihkih^ tou ', X rertlized cje-|~h'hcj elec+ed "Treasurer could TOTALLY c^h^e n si+urt+ioh rt+ sc^ool. WE CMEERLEADERS ARE TIRED OF RIDING TO GAMES IN THE SAtiE BUS s THE Mr crr NERDS IN THE BAND! y WHAT I CAN DO...

HMM...LET

eVeh te+ier ... / WE JOCKS JST_\ NED AN AIR PUtiP \ TO INFLATE OUR V ONLY FOTBLL. J YEAWWWW... SORRY. CAN T HELP YOU WITW THAT.

Hotod ever +Kihks rttou+ ruhhih^ -for TreSurer, tecrtuse ll rthohe ever Crtres rttou+ <*re +Ke ti^- +icke+ ^osi+iohs like ?resideh+ hd Vice ?resideh+. So X i^nrt i-f X si^h -tomorrovv, +Ke "TreSurer jot is ^re-H nucK ni he -for +Ke +rtkihg. fri(U ^[drt X weh+ hd ^>0+ n hne oh +Ke lis+ +0 ruh -for 'TreSurer. Uh-for+uhrt+el, +Kis kid hrtmed Mrtrt Por+er is ruhhih^ -for "Treasurer, +00, hd hes rel trrtih rt+ mrt+v So +Kis ni^K+ ho+ te <xs erts rtS X +Kou 3^+. 45 X +old Prtd +Krt+ X W*s ruhhihc^ -for s+udeh+ 30Verhmeh+, rthd Ke seened ^re-H exci+ed. x+ +ums 0U+ Ke rrth -for s+udeh+ ^oVerhneh+ w^eh he Ws ny rtc^e, rthd Ke rtc+urtll woh. Prtd dg +KroucjK Sone old toxes ih +he brtSemeh+ rthd -fouhd ohe 0-f vs Crtni^rtic^h ^os+ers. INTEGRIT HONSTY KNOW-HW

// l Franl<. Heffle y FOR ' SECkTAR X +Kou^K+ +Ke ^os+er idert WrtS ^re-H Qoot So X rtsked Prtd +0 drive ne +0 +he s+ore +0 c^e+ some su^lies. X lortded oh ^os+er tortrd rthd mrtrkers, rthd X Sf>eh+ +Ke res+ 0-f +Ke hi^K+ nirtkihc^ rtll ry Crtm^rtic^h s+u-ff. So le+s jus+ Ko^e +Kese ^os+ers work. % X brogl'>+ m ^os+ers ih +0 sc^ool +0(W, rthd hrtVe +0 s<y, +Ke Crtne 0U+ >re-H ^ood. Do You VJah+ MARTY PORTER +0 te on TREASURER? /HEY, YOURE / DROPPING ALL 1 OUR MONEY, V ou FOOLf

t \ Remember in second 0pdde ow ^lrty Porter ^dc) h edd lce? ITCH ITCH

Do ou reall wan+ Sn ouchhc YOUR mohe? X s+rtr+ed n^>os+ersu<xssooh <xs X

30+ h. Bu+ +Ke were ohl u -for rttou+ +Kree mihu+es be-fore Vice Prihci^l Ro s^o+ied +Ken.

^ o Mr. Ro Srtid ou wereh+ llovved +0 wri+e "-Trttricrt+iohs rttou+ +he O+Ker Crthdidrt+es. So X +old Mr. Ro +K<*+ +Ke +Kih^ rttou+ +Ke Kertd lice w*s +rue, hd ^ow i+ ^r<Jic+icrtll closed dowh +Ke wKole sc^ool w^eh i+ Krt^^ehed. B+ Ke +ook dowh rtll py ^>os+ers rthwy. So od, V\<xr-\y Por+er w<xs ^oih^ rouhd hrthdihg 00+ lolli^o^s +0 tu himsel-T Vo+es wKile py ^os+ers were si-Hihg rt+ +Ke to'H'on 0-f Hr. Ros +r*sK Crth. X ^oess +v's nerths m poli+icrtl Creer is o-fficill oVer. 48 OCTOBER Mohda Vvlell, i+s -Tihrtll Oc+ober, rthd +Kere <*re ohl +Kir+ drts Ie-f+ uh+il H**lloweeh. H**lloweeh is nv FAVORlTE holidrt, eVeh +KoucjK Hon srts X-r\ ^e++ih^ +00 old +0 QO +rick-or-+rert+ihc^ rthnore. H<*lloweeh is prtds -TrtVori+e holidrt, +00, bu+ -for rt dif/ereh+ rertSoh. Oh H^llo^eeh hic^+, wKile ll +Ke O+Ker p<*reh+s <*re Prtd is Kidih^ ih +Ke tus^es wi+K rt ti^ +r<*sh Crth -Toll 0-f Wrt+er. Ahd i rth eehrt^ers prtss t our drivew<x, Ke drehc^es +Ken. rirthdiha 0U+ Crthdy.

Xn ho+ sure Prtd rertll uhders+rthds +he cohce^+ 0-Hrtllwee'r'* fto+^ohhrt te +he ohe w^0 s^oils Kis -fuh.

' 11 1 11 lhi^K+ wrtS +Ke o^ehih^ hic^+ 0-f +he Crosslrthd Sc^ool Krtuh+ed house, rthd X 30+ Hon +0 rt^ree +0 +rtke ne rthd Rowle. Rowle sKowed rt+ py Kouse vvecnrih^ Kis H<*lloweeh cos+une ron\ IrtS ertr. Vsl^eh X Crtlled him eirlier X +old K in +0 jus+ wertr re^uUr clo+hes, tu+ 0-f course. Ke didh+ lis+eh. X +ried ho+ +0 le+ i+ to+Ker ne +00 much, +houc^v Xve heVer teeh rtllowed +0 c^o +0 +Ke CrossUhd hrtuh+ed Kouse be-fore, rthd X WrtSh+ 301hg +0 le+ Rowle ruih i+ -for ne. Rodrick hrtS +old ne dkll rtbou+ ', rthd X Ve teeh lookihg -forward +0 +Kis for rttot +Kree ertrs. A^yvvrt, w^eh we 30+ +0 +Ke eh+rrthce, X s+rtr+ed hrtVihg secohd +'ogl'>+s rtbou+ OY ih. oVer wi+K) rthd s^e noVed us rtlohg. Ohce we were +Krou^K +he 3<*+e, i+ wrtS ohe scrtre rt-f+er rtho+her.

51 Bu+ +he wors+ w*s +Kis <*rea Crtlled CKrtihSrtw Alle- ^ere w<xs +Kis ti^ QU ih rt Kocke mrtsk rthd Ke K<*d REAL c^ihSvv. Rodrick +old ne +Ke cKrtihSrtw KrtS rt rutter blrtde, tu+ X w*sh+ +chcj rth chhces. RRRRRRRRRRRRr/ ^v/ /.*.'

Ric^+ wKeh i+ looked like +Ke cKrtihSrtw QU wrtS 301'h^ +0 crt+ch us, Hon S+eed trtiled us OU+. Hon mrtde +Ke cKrtihSrtW 0jy show us w^ere +Ke exi+ Ws, rthd +K<*+ wrtS +Ke ehd 0-f our K<*uh+ed Kouse ex^eriehce ri^K+ +Kere. X ^uess i+ wrtS rt li++le entrtrrrtSSih^ w^eh Hon did +K<*+^ tu+ X willihcj +0 le+ i+ op +Kis ohe +ine. Srt-h>rd<y "l^e CrossUhd Krtuh+ed Kouse rertll op- ne +'w'hkihg. X deded +0 nrtke rt K<*uh+ed Kouse of ry owh. Ac+Urtll, X Krtd +0 brihg Rowle ih oh +Ke dertl, becrtuse Hon wouldh+ le+ ne cohVer+ our -frs+ foor ih+o -full-ou+ K<*uh+ed nhsioh. X kftew Rowles drtd wouldh+ te cr<*z rttou+ +Ke idert, ei+her, so we decided +0 tuild +Ke K<*uh+ed Kouse ih his t*seneh+ hd jus+ ho+ meh+ioh i+ +0 Kis *reh+S.

53 Here was our -fihrtl ^IdiVv HALL OF SCREAMS LAKE or KNIFE LLEY^ ^MAZE OF 1,000 SKULLS

 BOTTOM- LSS PIT

\ RAT TUNNEL ^DEATH SLID

EXIT X doh + nedih +0 or wh<H" we Crtme wi+K was WAY be+er -+he Crosslrthd School K*uh+ed house. ve rertliz.e<4 we were c^ohhrt 0U+ we were doihg -+his '+Ki^j so we CJ0+ Sone ^rt^er rthd mrtde <x tuhcK 0-f ytrs. heed +0 ae+ +ne wor<4 54 X II ddrni+ mabe we s+re+cKed +Ke +ru+K <x li++le ih our rtdver+iseneh+, tu+ we hrtd +0 mrtke Sure ^eo^le rtc+urtll showe<4 u^>. HAUNTED

VIITH LIVE SHRKS!

32 SURREYSTREET ADMISSION : 50 <t 3:00 p.m.

B> -+he "Hme we TihisKed >u++ih<j -+Ke ytrs arouhd -+he hejhborhoo<4 rthd 30+ tdick +0 Rowles trtsenehl, i+ was rtlrertd 2*30, rthd we hd<4h+ eVeh S+rtH-ed ^U+ihg -+Ke ac+urtl Kuh+ed house +0<je+Ker e-h So we h<*d +0 CU+ Sone corhers -from our or^ihrtl ^Irth. 55 vheh 3-00 rolled arouhd, we looked ou+side +0 see i-f rthohe hdd showed u^. Ahd Sure ehou^K J -+here were rtboiH- -HveM hei^KtorKood kids WArl'h<j ih lihe ou+side Rowles bdisemeh-|\ How, X khow our -f\trs Srtid rtdmissioh was -fi-f-y ceh+s, tu+ X could see wehrtd chdhce +0 mrtke killiV3 Kere. So X loi<4 -+he kids rtdmissioh wrtS +wo bucks, rthd -+he -fift-ceh+ -+vV\g was jus+

*TKe -firs+ kid +0 coucjh u^> Kis +wo tucks WrtS S^rthe Shellrt. He ^rtid vs nohey rthd we le+ Kin ihside, rthd ne rthd Rowle +00 k. our ^osrHohs ih +Ke Hdll 0-f Screams. 56 Hrtll 0-f Scrertms was basicrtll rt >e<4 wi+K ne rthd Rowley oh ei+Ker side 0-f i+.

X rnrtbe wemrtde -the 0-f Screams rt li++le +00 scar, tecdiuse h<*l-fwrts^rthe curled u^> ih rt brtll Uhderhert+K -the bed. vle +ried +0 hi +0 crawl 0U+ -from uhder -there, )u+ Ke woul<4h+ t>udcje. e nohe we were losihg wi-+K +K.S kid cloc^ihc^ +Ke 0-f ScremS, hd X khew we K^d +0 cje-+ Kin 0+ f -there, ^uick. 'E-VeVY+urtll, Rowles drtd Crtme dowhS+rtirs. A+ firs+ X was +0seeKin, because X +Kou

Ke could LiS >e<4 rthd cje+ our hrtuVY+ed KouSe crahkihg rt^rtih. r shrthe 0U+ -from uhder -+ne X s+rtr+ed +Kihkih rtuoiH" rtll +K Rowles drtd wash + reall ih rt rnood.

Rowles drtc Wrth+ed +0 khow wh<H" we were doihg, rthd wh S^rthe Shellrt was curled u^> uhder +Ke bed. ve -hjl<4 K in+Ke brtSemehl was rt K*uh+ed house, rthd shrthe Shellrt ac+urtll PAID for us +0 do +Kis +0 vn. 1^owles drtc cidh+ telieVe us. X rtdni+ i{ ou looked arouhd, i+ <4ich+ reall look like <x hrtuVY+ed Kouse. All we hrtd -h'me +0 +o^e+Ker was -+he Hall 0-f Screams rthd -+he Lake 0-f Blood, which was jus+ Rowles old brtb ^>ool wi+K rt to++le 0-f ih i+. 58 X Hried +0 show Rowles drtd our ori^ihdil ^Irth +0 ^roVe we reall were ruhhihg <x lecji-h'mrt+e o^errt+ioh, tu+ Ke s+ill di<4h+ seen cohvihced.

A*d +0 mrtke rt lohg s+or shor--,was -the ehd 0-f our h<*uh+ed house.

^W\t CJ00<4 hews Sj sihce Rowles drtd didh + telieVe uSj Ke didh+ mrtke us re-Tuhd Shdhes mohe. So rt+ leas+ we cleared +wo tucks -todrt 1' 51 Suhdrt Rowle ehded ^e++ih^ ^rouhded -for wKole Krtuh+ed KouSe ness es+erd<y. Hes ho+ rtllowe<4 +0 wrt+cK TV for rt wttki AND Kes ho+ rtllowe<4 +0 hdVe ne oVer vS Kouse durihg Hme. *TKrt+ Us+ ^rtH- reall ish-t -fir, because +KH'S >uhisKih<j me, rthd X didh+ eveh do rth+vV<J wrohg. A*d how where din X su^osed +0 ^>l<y n video ^rtmes? A^wdi, X -fel+ lcihd 0-f brtd -for Rowle. So X +ried +0 nrtke i+ u^> +0 vn- X -hirhed oh ohe 0-f Rowles frtVori+e TV shows, rthd X did d ^U-t-^U over -the ^>hohe So Ke could kihd 0-f ex^eriehce i+ w<y. WOW LOOK AT THE SIZE 0F THAT FLArETHROWER> X did ry tes+ +0 kee^ Wl"^* wK<v+ was ^oih^ oh oh +Ke screeh, tu+ +0 te Kohesl wi+K ou, Xrn ho+ Sure i-f Rowle Ws cje+-hV\g +he -full e-f-fec+.

'lesda Vslell^ Rowles c^rouhdihg is -fihrtll oVer, rthd jus+ ih +ine -for H<*lloweeh, +00. X weh+ u^> +0 Kis KouSe +0 cKeck 0U+ Kis cos-hime, rthd X hrtVe +0 rtdni+, Xrn rt I.-++C jertlouS. Rowles Mon CJ0+ Kin --vs cos+ume WAY cooler -+hdh Kis cos+une -from Us+ ear. 61 His oirl"-fi+ Crtme wi+K rt Kelrnel rthd rt sveld rthd rt redil swor<J rthd EVERYTl-llNG.

Xve heVer h<*<4 rt s-hjre-boucjh+ cos+ume be-fore. X s+ill h<*Veh+ -fcjurecl OU+ wh<*+ Xn c^ohhrt op as +omorrow So X II ^robrtbl jus+ -+hrow Sone+Kihg +o^e+Ker <*+ -+Ke ldS+ nihu+e. X -igurt m<ybe XII brihg trtck -+Ke 'Xoe Prt^er Aumry ^diih. X "l4vvjc i+s su^osed +0 raih +onorrow So micjh+ te -+he SmrtH-es+ choice.

6z Xh -few ears, -+he ^rowh-u^s ih n hejhborhoo<4 hdVe teeh ^e++ih^ crahk rtboul m Irtne cos+umes J rthd Xrn s+Ar+ih<j +0 +KiVk iVs ac+urtll KrtVih<j dh e-ffec+ oh +Ke rtmouh-+ 0-f Crthd Xrn {>rih<jih<j ih.

X doh+ reall hrtVe +ine +0 +o^e+Ker <* CJ00<4 cos+ume, because Xrn ih ch<*rcje 0-f ^Irthhihg oiH- -+he tes+ rou+e -for ne rthd Rowle +0 -h*ke -+omorrow hi^--. Tlvs ear Xve cone u^> wi+K <x ^>lrth II cje+ us rt+ lertS+ +wice -+he Crthd we scored Us+ ear. 63 Hdlloweeh Abou+ rth hour t>e-fore we were sc>oSe<J + s+*r+ +rick-or+rea+ihcj, X s+ill didh+ KrtVe di cos+ume. A+ +hd+ foih+ X was seriousl +Kihkih^ rtt>ou+ cjoih^ as rt cowto -for +he secohd ear ih rt row. Bu+ +Keh Mon khocked rt+ py door dihd hrthded ne rt 'rdl+e cos+une, wi+h rth ee p+cK rthd rt hook rthd eVer+hih^.

Rowle s^owed C rtrouhd 6*30 wearih3 Kis khicjh+ cos+une, tu+ i+ didh+ look ANYTMING like i+ ooked es+erdo. Rowles non ndide dkll +hese Srt-fe-t in^roVeneh+S +0 i+; rthd ou cooldh+ eVeh +ell whrt+ Ke wdis stoSe^ + ke rthnore. 64 s^e CU+ 0U+ rt t)i^ y>le ih +he -froh+ 0-f +he helne+ So Ke coold see be+ter, rthd coVered Kin t ih rtll +his re-flec+ive +<*e. s^e nrtde Kin wear his wih+er COI+ uhderhea+h eVery+hih^; rthd s^e re^lrtced his sword w.'4> dt cjlow s+ick.

ne X py 'HWCdlSe> ^>owle s+or+ed +0 hertd ocrh bu+ Mon s+c>ed us bt-fort we coold ^e+ 0U+ +he door. I WANT YOU TO TAKE MANNY WITH YOU! Mrth, X should hrtVe khowh +here was rt ca+ch w^eh Mon 3<*Ve rne +hrt+ cos+une. X +old Mon +here was ho WAY we were +rtkih^ Mrthh wi+K usJ we because we were ^oih^ +0 Ki+ 152 houses ih +Kr ee hours. were 3'^ +0 be oh Shrtke Road, wvch is wy +00 drthc^erous for rt li+tle kid like Mrthh. X shoulc heVer hrtVe neh+iohed +h<*+ Us+ because +he hex+ X khew, Mon was+ellihcj Prtd he hrtd +0 30 rtloh^ wi+h us +0 nrtke sure we didh+ s+e^ -

foo+ ou+sice our hei^tor^ood. P<1 +ried +0 scuirm 0U+ 0-f i+, tu+ ohce Mon nrtkes C her mihd, +heres ho wa ou Crth c^dih^e i+.

66 be-fore we eVeh 30+ 0U+ o{ oor owh drivew<y, we rah ih+o oor hei^Kbor Mr. Mi+chell rthd his kid Jereny. So 0-f coorst TMEY +rt^ed rtlohcj wi+K os. Mdthh dihd Jerepy wotldh+ +rick-or-+rea+ rt+ dih houses wi+K Sook decora+iohs oh +hem, so +hrt+ ruled 0U+ reH much eVer house oh oor tlock. Prtd dihd \Ar. Mi+chell s+or+ed +lkih^ dtkou+ foo+bdill or Sone+vh0, rthd eVery +ine ohe 0-f +Ken Wrth+ed +0 nrtke rt ^>oih+, s+o^Wrtlkih0. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

/BLAH BLN BLAH BLAH VLAH BLAH/

So we were ohlrtbou+ohehouse eVery +weh"t nihu+es. 67 rt coc^le 0-f hours, Prtd dihd Mr. Mi+chell +ook +he li'H'le kids K one. X was <<x) kecdtuse +h<*+ meah+ nie rthd Rowle could +ake

off. M 'HwcdlSe WdlS rtlmos+ en^^, So X Wrth+ed +0 nrtke C rtS much +irne dtS ossible. A li++le wKile Irt+er, Rowle +old nie he heeded rt O"Hy break. X ndide vn ^old off -for diho+Ker {or~fiVe mihu+es. Bu+ t +he +ime we CJ0+ +0 py c^rdtmmdtS house, i+ was clear +hrt+ i X didh+ le+ Rowle use +he bdi-^roon, i+ was ^ohhrt ^e+ mess. So X +old Rowle i-f Ke wash + Wk ou+side ih ohe mihu+e, X W<AS c^ohhrt s+dtr+ ^el^ih^ nsel-T +0 his Cdihd. we ^edided Wk 0U+ oh +he rortd. Bu+ i+ was rtlrertd 10'30, rthd X 3<jess +hrt+s wheh P10S+ 3rowh-uf>s decide Hrtllov^eeh is oVer. You Cdih kihd of +ell because +hrt+s wheh +he s+ar+ comihc +0 +he door ih +heir rthd

Vsle decided +0 ^edid home. Vsle mrtde t rt lo+ 0-f +ime rtf+er Prtd rthd Mrthh lef+, So X was srt+is-fied wi+h how much Cdihd we +ook ih. Vsl^eh we were hrtl-fwrt home, +his ^>icjcu> +ruck Crtme rodtrih^ dowh +he s+ree+ wi+h dt tuhch 0-f Ki<jK school kds ih i+. bi kid ih +he Wk was Koldih^ rt -Tire ex+ihcjuisher, rthd w^eh +he 'truck ^ssed t os, \\t o^ehed -fre. /-. o

X hrtVe +0 ^ive Rowle credi+, because Ke blocked dtkou+ ^5% 0-f +he Wdi+er wi+h vs s^ielc. i{ Ke Krtdh+ dohe +hrt+, rtll oor Cdihd wotld hrtVe c^o+teh sortked. vl^eh +he ruck droVe dtwy, X elled 0+ some+hiVu +hrt+ X re^re+ted dtkou+ +wo secohds Irt+er. 70

*T^e driver slrtnned oh +he brakes dihd Ke +trhed his +ruck arouhd. Me rthd Rowle s+or+ed ruhhihc) tu+ +Kose 3<ys were ricjh+ oh our Keels. ohl ^rtce could +vhk O-T +hrt+ was Srt-fe was Granndis house, So we CU+ +hroc^h rt cou^le Wkar<s +0 ^e+ +here. Grammdi was ih bed rtlrertd, {>0+ X khew s^e kee^s rt ke ohder +he nrt+ oh her -froh+ orc^* Ohce we CJ0+ ihside, X looked 0+ +he wihdow +0 see 'rf +hose ^us hdtd -followec[ us, dihd Sure ehouc^h , +he did. X +rie< +0 "trick +hen ih+o ledivihcj, tu+ +hey wooldh+ budae. -----------------^ ' * WELL, I GUESS NOW THT WE RE SFE IN OUR OWN HOSE YOU CN T GT US! Af+er rt wvle, we realiz.e< +he +eehrt0ers were ^oih^ +0 Wrti+ ts 0U+, so we decided we were jts+ ^ohhrt hrtVe +0 s^ehd +he hi^K+ rt+ GrdinmdiS. *ThrtVs wheh we s+or+ed ^e+tih^ cock, rndikih^ mohke hoises rt+ +he +eehrt0ers dihd whrt+ho+. Vslell, rt+ leas+ X WrtS mrtkih^ nohke hoises. Rowle w<AS kihd

0-T makihcj owl hoises, t>u+ X ^uess i+ Wrts +he same ^eheral idedi.

X Crtlled Mom +0 +ell Ker we were ^oihc +0 crash rt+ Grammas for +he hi^K+ Bu+ Mon Souhded reall rndid oh +he ^Kohe. S^e Sdiid i+ was rt scKool hicjh+> rthd +hrt+ we Krtd +0 cje+ home ricjh+ +hrt+ ihs+rth+. So +hrt+ meah+ we were ^ohhrt hrtVe +0 rndike rt ruh for i+. X looked OU+ +he wihdow, dihd +vs +ine, X c[ich+ see +he +ruck. bu+ X khew +hose Qus were vdihg sonew^ere dihd were JUS+ +rihcj +0 driw us 0U+. So we Shuck 0U+ +he back door, y>ed oVer Grannas -fehce, dihd rah rtll +he w<y +0 Shrtke Rortd. X -fi^tred our c^dihces were be-tter +here because +here areh + rth s+ree+li^h+s. Shrtke Rortd is scar ehouc^h oh i+s owh wi+hou+ KdiVih^ rt +rtcklortd of +eehdi^ers huh+ih^ oo dowh. 'E-Ver +ine we saw rt car conih^, we doVe ih+o +he bus^es. x+ nus+ve +rtkeh us rt ut hour +0 30 100 ords.

'.^/a f. ^ 0 Bu+ belieVe i+ or we nrtde i+ \\ wa home wi+hou+ v^ei+herohe 0-f us le+ our c^udrd dowh uh+il we ^0+ +0 ny drivewd.

crtu^K+.

B>u+ ri^+ +heh, +here wdis +his dw-ful scredm, dihd we Sdtw A t)i^ wave 0-f Wdk+er conih^ +0WArd us.

74 rAdih, X -for^o+ ALL dt)ou+ Pdd, rthd we +o+dll ^rtid +he ^ice -for i+.

vl^eh ne dihd Kowle 30+ ihside, we Idiid 0U+ rtll our Cdihd oh +he ki+cKeh +dt)le. TV>e ohl +Kih^s we could Srtlvdi^e were d cou^le 0-f mih+s +hd+ were wrded ih cellohrthe> rthd +he +oo+ht>rushes pr. Gdirrisoh 3*Ve us.

X +hihk hex+ Hrtllowee^ X M juS^ s+di home rthd mooch Sone Bu++erfih<jers -fron +he t)owl Mon kee^s oh +0^ 0-f +he reri^erd+or. NOVEiBER ^Kursdrt Oh +he t>us ride ih+o school +odrt, wet> GrrtmmdS house. x+ 30+ rolled wi+h +oile+ Atr ldS+ h^+, wm'cK X ^uess Wds ho t)i^ sur^rise.

X do -eel A IrhHe t>dd, becrtuse i+ looked like i+ wdis ^ohhdi +d|ce d loh^ +ine +0 clerth u^. Bu+ oh +he t>ri^K+ side, Grrtmmd is re+ired, So she didh+ KdiVe rth+Kih^ flhhed -for +odrt rthto. Yledhesdrt Xh +Kird ^eriod, fV. Uhderwood, our Pys 'E-d +edc^er, dhhouhced +hrt+ +he t>os will t>e doih^ d wres+lih^ uhi+ -for +he he*+ si/ weeks. 76 X-f +Keres ohe +hiVuj nos+ t)os ih ny sc^ool dire ih+o I i+s ro-essiohrtl wres+lih^. So rAr. Uhderwood ni^K+ dis well KdiVe se+ o-ff rt t>omt>. LuhcK comes righ+ d-f+er Plys 'E-d, dihd +he Cd-fe+erid WdS A con^le+e mddhouse.

X doh+ khow w^d+ +he sc^ool is +hiVtkih<j KrtVih^ d wres+lih^ uhi+. decided i X doh+ Wdh+ +0 ^e+ -hvis+ed ih+o d re^2-e^ fr r^oh+K dihd d hdl-f, Hd bei+er do n homework oh +hs wres+lih^ busihess. So X reh+ed d cou^le 0-f video ^dmes +0 ledrh Some rnoVes. Ahd ou khow wh rt+? A+er d while, X Wds rertll s+dr+ih^ +0 ^e+ +he 0-f i+. DOES THITX FEEL RlGUT? ) YES! NO! HELP?

'.Y\ -fdc+, +he o+her kids ih ny cldiss Krtd t>e++er look 0U+, becrtuse i-f X kee ^lS U' ^ cou^ ke rt redil +hredrh ,

73 'TKeh rt^dih, X i>e++er nrtke Sure X doh+ do T00 ^ood. ^[V\is kid hrtmed pres+oh rAudd op-\ hdmed A+hle+e 0-f +he Moh+h -for teih^ +he bes+ ^Irter ih +he bdske+bdll uhi+, so +he h|S ^ic+ure ih +he hdllwd.

x+ +ook rtbou+-fvesecohds+0redliz.ehow ?. rAudd Souhded w^eh ou Srtid i+ 0U+ loud, dihd d-f+er +hrt+, i+ wdis rtll oVer -for pres+oh.

7^ TKursdy Ylell, X /ouhc o +od +hd+ +he kihd o wres+lih0 Mr.

Uhderwood is +echiV\0 is COMPLETELY di-f-fereh+ -from +he kiV\c +he do oh TV. irs+ 0-f dll, we KdiVe +0 wedr +hese +Kih^s Crtlled sih^le+s, wm'cK look like +hose bd+hih^ sui+s +he used +0 wedr ih +he lOOs.

secohd 0-f dll, +here dre ho 'le drivers or hi-H-ih^ eo^e oVer ^ertds w'"^ cKrtirs or rth+Kih^ like +hd+. TV>eres ho+ eVeh A rih^ wi+h ro^es dirouhd i+. x+s jus+ bdsicdll A StotA-\y md+ +hd+ snells like i+s hever t>eeh wrtsKed t>e-fore. 30 fAr. Uhderwood s+dr+ed rtskih^ -or Voluh+eers so Ke could demohs+rd+e some wres+lih^ Kolds, t)u+ +here wdis ho Wd X wdis ^oih^ +0 rdiise ny Krthd. Me dihd Kowle +ried +0 Kide 0U+ ih +he t>dck o{ +he orr\ hedr +he cur+dih, t)u+ +hd+s w^ere +he ^irls were doiVu +Keir ^mhds+ics uhi+.

M-IEE HEE^C vle ^0+ 0U+ 0-f +here ih d hurr, rthd we weh+ Wk +0 w^ere +he res+ 0-f +he ^us were. fAr. Uhderwood sih^led ne 0U+, ^robdbl becduse Xm +he li^K+es+ kid ih +he cldSS, dihd Ke could +OSS ne drouhd wi+hou+ s+rrtihih^ vmsel-f. He sKowed eVerbod how +0 do rtll +hese +Kih^s Crtlled d "hrtl-f helsoh" dihd d "reVersdl dihd d ' +rtcedowh dihd s+u-ff like +hrt+. vl^eh Ke Wds doih^ +his ohe noVe Cdilled +he "firemdhs Crtrr/' X -fel+ d t>reez.e dowh t>elow, dhd X could +ell n sih^le+ wdSh+ doih^ d ^ood jot> kee^iVM^ ne coVered u^. TV>rt+s w^eh X +hrthked n luck s+drs +he 31'rls were oh +he

o+her side 0-f +he ^n.

* + fAr. Uhderwood divided us ih+o wei^K+ ^rou^s. X Wds 're++ *t>ou+ +hd+rt+-firs+, becduse i+ medh+ X WdSh+ KrtVe +0 wres+le kids like Behh Ylells, who Cdih behch-^ress

82 Birt +heh X ouhd 01 v/\\0 X DID KdiVe +0 wres+le, dihd X would Kdive -trdded -for Behh vlells ih d hertr+bert+.

re^le Wds +he ohl kid li^K+ ehou^K +0 te ih ny wei^h+ cldiss. rtrtreh+l re^le Wds d-H-eh+ioh w^eh fAr. Uhderwood Wds ^ivih^ ihs+ruc+iohs, becduse Ke ^ eVer which Wd ou could inrt^ihe. X s^eft+ py seVeh+K er'd ^e++ih^ WAY nore /milr wi+h re^le +hdh X ever Wdh+ed +0 t>e.

33 'lesdty This wres+lihcj uhi+ has +o+dll iurhed our School u^side dowh. How cids are wres+lihcj ih +Ke hallvvas, ih +K& classrooms, ou hrtne i+. Bu+ +he -fi-f+eeh nihu+es A-f+er luhcK vv^tre +he le+ us ou+side is +he wors+. You Crthi Wdlc -TiVe -fee+ wi+Kou+ -tri^ih^ oVer cou^le 0-f kids ^oih^ a+ i+. X jus+ +r +0 kee^ n dis+hce. Ahd marlc n vvords, ohe 0-f +K&se ools is goihg +0 roll ri^K+ oh+o +Ke Cheese rthd s+ar+ +Ke CKeese "lucK rtll oVer rt^rtih. u

8i M O+Ker >J ^rotlen is +h<*+ X haVe +0 wres+le Frecjle eVer sih^le d<y. Bu+ +his norhih^ X realiz.ed sone+V>ih^. X Crth noVe 0U+ 0-f rec^les weic^+ class, X woh+ KdVe +0 wres+le Kin ahmore. So ioda, X s+u-f/ed ry clo+Kes wi+K d tuhcK 0-f socks rthd shir+s +0 ^e+ nsel-f ih+o +he hex+ we^+ clSS. Bu+ X WS s+ilI +00 li^K+ +0 noVe u^-

X realiz.ed X WdS c^ohha KdVe +0 c^aih weicjK+ -for real. A+ firs+ X +houcjh+ X s^ould jus+ s+ar+ lortdih^ u^> oh juhk {ooi tu+ X A much be-H-er idea. 35 X (kcided +0 cjdih ry we0^+ ih MUSCLE.; ho+ . X Ve heVer teeh all +Kd+ ih+eres+ed ih ^e+tih^ ih te-fore, tu+ +Kis wres+lih^ uhi+ nrtde ne re+Kihk +h'V\gs. X /^ure i-f X tulc u^> how, i+ could ac+uall cone ih Kahd dowh rortd. The /oo+ball uhi+ is conih^ ih s^rihc^ dhd +he s^lii ieams ih+o sKir+s rthd skihs. Ahd X ALWAYS ^e+ ^>u+ oh scihs. X +KiV\c +he do +K*+ +0 malce rtll +he 0+-0-f-sK*^e kids feel rtS^Aned 0-f +hemselves.

86 X-f X Crth ^diclc oh some nuscle how, i+ ll te & whole dif/ereh+ s+or hex+ A^ril.

GREG HEFFLEY, YORE ON SKINS.

PPp

lohi^K+> a-f+er dihher, X 30+ Hon rthd Prtd +o^e+her rthd +old iKen ry ^Irth. X +old X wAS 301'h^ +0 heed sone serious exercise e<^ui^neh+> rthd Some weicjh+-cjAh ^owder, +00. X sKowed iKen sone nuscle macjaz.ihes X 30+ a+ +he s+ore so +he could see Kow ri^ed X WrtS ^oih^ +0 te. Hon didhi reall SA rth+hihc A+ firs+> tu+ Prtd wAS ^re-Hy eh+Kusidis+ic. X +Kihk K wAS jus+ ^lad X d0-f Keari -fron how X used +0 te X w<xs A u/lF OU WORk\ OUT regulrlyA 1 OU CAN GET \BIG riUSCLES! J MUSCLES ARE GROSS'

Bu+ Hon Srtid 'rf X wah+ed A we^+ se+, X was cjoihcj +0 KdVe +0 ^>roVe +K*+ X could s+ick wi+K rth exercise re^ineh. s^e Srtid X could do +K*+ t doihc^ srlu^s rthd jum^ihcj jac|cs -for +wo weeks. X +0 ex^laih +K*+ ohl w<y +0 ^e+ +o+all tulked u^> is +0 ^e+ +Ke kihd 0-f KigVr+ecK nicKihes KdVe a+ +K& 3n> ku+ t^om didh + wah+ +0 Kear i+. 33 Theh Prtd Srtid 'rf X wah+ed & tehcK ^ress, X should kee^ ry ihgers crossed or Chris+mas.

Bu+ Chris+mas is A noh+K ahd A awa. Ahd i-f X ^e+ p.hhed t Frecjle ohe no re iime, Xn c^ohha a Y\tTVous >reacdowh. So i+ looks like Hon rthd Prtd arehi 301h^ +0 te rth Ahd +h*+ meahs Xn 301h^ +0 haVe +0 +a|ce ma+ters ih+o ry owh hdhcls> rtS USUAI. Saiurda X couldh + wai+ +0 s+ar+ ry weicjh+-+raihihcj ^ro^ram ioda. 'EVeh +Kou^K Hon wouldh+ le+ ne ^e+ +he e<^uiYmeh+ X heeded, X WrtSh+ 301h^ +0 le+ +h*+ Kold ne trtcc. 81 em^+ied 0U+ +Ke nilc rthd orah^e juice rthd filled ju3s wi+K Srthd. Theh X +d^cl +her> +0 A brooms+icc, dhd X h*d nsel-f A ^re-Hy decehi barbell.

A+er +K*+> X made A tehcK ^>ress 0U+ 0-f rth irohih^ board hd sone boxes. Ohce X hd +K*+ rtll se+, X WdS read +0 do sone serious li-f+ihcj. X heeded a s^o+tih^ ^ar+her, so X Crtlled Rowle. Ahd wKeh K sKowed uy a+ ry door wearih^ so ne ridiculous X khew X nrtde a nis+rtlce ihVi+ih^ Kin. So X weh+ ih+o +Ke -ridae dhd X nade ^-ovvle use +he tehcK yrtss firs+> nos+l because X wah+ed +0 see 'rf +he troons+icc wAS ^oih^ +0 hold uy. He did rttoui -five re^s, rthd Ke was read +0 tu+ X wouldh+ le+ Kin. 'Tta+S wh*+ A ^ood +raihih^ ^ar+her is -for, +0 ^>ush ou teohd our lini+s. FIFTEEN MORE! COME ON!

. \ .. .1 . X khew Rovvle WASh + ^oih^ +0 te as serious rttoui wei^K+ li+ih^ AS X was, so X decided +0 +ry 0U+ rth ex^erimeh+ +0 +es+ his dedicrt+ioh. Xh +Ke niddle 0-f Rowles se+, X weh+ rthd 30+ +his ^Koh hose rthd mus+ache Rodricc has ih Kis juh|c drawer. <?1 Ahd ri^K+ Rovvle barbell ih +Ke "dovvh* ^osi+ioh, X leahed over rthd looked a+ Kin-

Sure ehou^K J Rovvle TOTALLY los+ his cohceh+ra+ioh. He couldhi eVeh ^e+ +Ke barbell o \)is c^es+. X +houcjh+ aboui Vkirn OU+, tu+ X realired +Ka+ i Rovvle didhi ^e+ serious abou+ work.ih^ OU+, K WdS heVer ^oih^ +0 cje+ +0 ry level.

X eveh+uall +0 rescue Ki; because Ke s+ar+ed ti+ih^ +K& rnilc jucj +0 le+ Srthd leak 0U+. *?2 A^+er Rovvle 30+ o tehcK ress> WrtS +ine or ry se+. Bu+ Rowle Srtid Ke didhi -feel lilce wor|cihcj 0U+ ahmore, rthd K weh+ Kone. You chovv, X igurt Ked ^ull sone+Kih^ lilce +hd+. Bu+ X 3uess vou Crthi ex^>ec+ eVerohe +0 haVe +he same lcihd o dedicrt+ioh AS ou. vedhesdd "lda ih Geo^ra^h we A ahd X haVe +0 Sa, X Ve teeh loocih^ /orvvard +0 +his ohe -for a lohcj +ime. He <^uiz. was oh s+rt+e ca^i+alsi rthd X si+ ih +he baclc 0-f +he roon, ricjh+ hex+ +0 +his ^Ah+ f +he Uhi+ed S+rt+es. All +he Crt^i+rtls are wri++eh ih bicj red ^rih+> so X khew X +Kis ohe ih +he >acj. Bu+ >e-fore +es+<J0+ s+ar+ed, PdrH Farrell ^i^ed uy -fron +he -froh+ 0-f +he roorn. TEACHER! TEACHER!

PdrH +old Hr. Xra +hd+ Ke should coVer u +he Uhi+ed S+rt+es nrt^ >e-fore we CJ0+ s+ar+ed.

So +^rthks +0 PrH, X ehded -fluhkihcj +he <^U2.. Ahd X will de-ihi+el t>e lookih^ -for A wa +0 A her kack -for +ha+ ohe. n 'TWsd<w ^[hicjh+ Hon carne +0 m roorn, rthd she had A fer ih Ker hw. As sooh rtS X saw H-, X khew EXACTLY wW H- WrtS. x+ was rth rthhouhceneh+ +ha+ +he sc^ool is KrtVih^ +rou+s -for <x wih+er ^* Hah, X s^ould haVe +hrowh +ha+ +U'h^ 00+ wheh X Srtw i+ oh +he ki+c^eh +rtt)le. X BEGGED her ho+ +0 rnrtke ne sicjh u^. "T>ose school ^las are alwas musicals, rthd +he lrtS+ +Kih^ X heed is +0 haVe +0 sihcj <x solo ih -froh+ of *e whole school.

Bu+ rtll rn' nore su re X s^ould do rh beaiha seerned +0 do WAS rnrtke Hon % Hon Srtid +he ohl wa X WrtS ^oih^ +0 t>e well-rouhded was t> +rihcj di-f-fereh+ +^ih^s. Prtd carne ih m roorn +0 see W^A+ WrtS ^oihc oh. X +old Prtd +ha+ Hon WrtS rnakih<j ne sicjh uY -for +^e sc^ool ^U, rthd +ha+ i-f X had +0 s+ar+ ^oih^ +0 ^la ^rac-Hces, i+ would +o+rtll ness n wei^+-li-f+ih^ Schedule. X khew +ha+ would ma ke Prtd +rtke n side. Prtd rthd Hon ar^ued -for <x -few rnihu+es, t)u+ Prtd w<xs ho rna+ch -for Hon.

So +ha+ meahs +ornorrow Xve CJ0+ +0 rtudi+ioh for +he sc^ool ^la* ritUv 'lle ^la +^ere doihcj +his ear isVi2.rtrd o Oz." A lo+ 0-f kids Crtne wearihcj cos+urnes -for +he ^ar+s +he were +rih<j 00+ -for. % Xve heVer eVeh seeh noVe, so -for rne, i+ wrtS like Wrtlkih^ ih+o rt -Trertk show.

rArs. Hor+oh, +^e rnusic direcior, rnrtde eVerohe sihcj ' rA Couh+r "Ts 0-f "ll^ee so s^e could Kertr our sihcjihcj Voices. X did rn sih0h0 +rou+s wi+K rt buhch 0-f o+^er t)os whose Pions mcU +^ern come, +00. X +ried +0 sih0 rts c^uie+l rtS ^ossble, t)u+ 0-f course. X 30+ sih^led 00+J rthwa. WHAT LOVEL \SOPRANO* X haVe ho idea rt So^raho is, Wom +^e wa Sone 0-f +he ^irls were X khew i+ wrtSh+ rt cjood +^ih^. Trou+S weh+ oh -ToreVer. ~The c^rahd -fhale Crtne w+b rtudi+iohs -for Poro+h; who X <jtess is +^e lertd charac+er ih +^e ^la Ahd who should +r OU+ -firs+ tu+ PdrH Farrell.

"-UX +houcjh+ dtou+ +riYuj 00+ -for +he r+ 0-f +^e vli+ch, tecause X ^eard +ha+ ih +^e ^la, +he vli+ch does all Sor+S 0-f meah +hih0S +0 Poro+h. Bu+ +^eh Somebod +old ne +^eres <x Goo vli+ch rthd rt Brtd vli+ch, rthd wi+b n luck, Xd ehd uY ^e+ih^ ^icked +0 te +^e cjood ohe. % rAohda X WrtS ho^ihcj Hrs. Hor+oh would jus+ CU+ ne -Trom +he ^la, )U+ +oda she Srtid +ha+ eVerohe who +ried OU+ is ^oih^ +0 cje+ rt ^ar+. So luck ne. Hrs. Hor+oh s^owed "The Vi2.rtrd 0-f Oz" rnoVie so eVerohe would khow +^e s+or. X WrtS +rihcj +0 -igure 0U+ wha+ ^ar+ X s^ould >u+ ^re-Hy much eVer charac+er KrtS +0 sih0 or drthce rt+ ohe ^oih+ or aho+her. Bu+ rt)ou+ ^rtl-fwa +hroucjh +he rnoVie, X igured 00+ wha+ ^ar+ X Wrth+ed +0 sicjh -for. X rn ^oihc +0 sicjh +0 >e (X Tree, because 1) +he doh+ haVe +0 sihcj rthd 2) +he cje+ +0 t>eah Poro+h wi+h d^les.

Ge-H-ihcj +0 e,3

Tyrrell wi+K rt^les ih

froh+ 0-f rt live rtudiehce would t>e m drearn corne +rue. X rna rtc+urtll hrtVe +0 +^rthk Hon -for rnrtlcih<j rne do +his ^la ohce i+s 11 oVer. A"f+er +he rnoVie ehded, X sjhed +0 >e "Tree. Uhfor+uh+elj rt buhch 0-f o+^er QUS hrtd +he sarne idert rtS me, so X 3uess +Kere are rt lo+ 0-f QUS who hrtVe rt t>ohe +0 ^iclc wi+h PrH Tyrrell. vedhesda vlell, like Hon rtlwas sas, te care-ful wh<*+ ou wish -for. X 30+ ^icced +0 >e rt Tree, tu+ X doh,+ khow i-f +hrt+s SUQ\\ rt cjood +^ih^. "The ^ree cos+urnes doh+ rtc+urtll hrtVe arm holes, so X <joess +hrt+ rules 00+ rth rt^le-+hrowihcj. X should ^robabl -feeI luck X 30+<x s^eakih^ ^ar+ rt+ rtll. "ll^e had +00 rnrth kids +rihcj 01+, ahd ho+ ehou^h roles, so +^e had +0 s+ar+ rnakih<j charac+ers. Rodhe Jarnes +ried 00+ +0 >e +^e "Th Mah, t)0+ Ke CJ0+ s+ucc wi+h >eihcj +^e s^ru).

Vr'i<x Rernernber how X Srtid X wrtS luck +0 cje+ <x s^eakih<j ^ar+? vlell, +oda X -ouhd 0U+ X ohl haVe ohe lihe ih +^e whole ^la* X SrtV i+ w^eh Poro+h f>cks rth rt^^le o-f-f n brahcn.

"Tia+ Pieahs X KrtVe +0 0^0 +0 rt +wo-^our ^rac-H' <J VVo % b I y o l JC

 s b 15 V < *>_ -M. c <u r . o *>_ 4> D p u V) D u o *> ) ) i<u > <u I5 t - I , v-\ ) <u 01 _u ^ 15 ts c

<u -= T? s > i-

DECEiBER ^Kursdav TVe ^la is ohl (X cou^le 0-f das <xw<x, rthd X haVe ho idea how were <joih0 +0 ^ull +his Firs+ 0-f rtll hotod KrtS to+^ered +0 learh +^eir lihes, rthd +^rt+s rtll Hrs. Hor+ohs -frtul+. Purih^ rehearsal , -ron +^e side 0-f ' ILL GET \ ' U, I GETTHAT^N YOU RE Hrs. Hor+oh w^is^ers eVerohes lihes +0 +hem +he s+rt^e. MY I \ PRTT! / ,r PRETTYy

X wohder how i+s ^oih^ +0 op hex+ "lesda w^eh Hrs. Hor+oh is si+ih^ rt+ her ^irtho +^ir-t fee+ awa.

103 Aho+her screwih^ eVery+vh^0^is +^rt+ Mrs. Hor+oh lcee^s rtddih^ hew scehes Ahd hew c^rtric+ers. es+erda, s^e brou^K+ ih -+v's firs+-^rdicler +0 ^ly Poro+hs doc^ "l+o. Bo+ +odrt, +'e cids non CAme ih Ahd Srtid s^e WAh+ed ^er cvld +0 Wrtl|c rtroohd oh +wo lec^s, becAuse crrtwlih0 arouhd oh rtll -fours would te +00 de^rrtdih^.

So how weVe <^0+ do^ +Krt+S c^ohhrt te Wrtl|cih0 rtroohd oh vs Kihd le^s -for +^e whole s^ovv. Bu+ -+he wors+ c^rth^e is +Ka+ Mrs. Hor+oh ac+uall wro+e A Soh^ +1^+ os TREES hrtVe +0 sih0. SU Srtid eVeryohe deserves A chrthce +0 sih0 ih +^e ^*y* 10f So +odrt we Ah ^oorlertrhihc^+'ewors+ soh^ -t^A+s eVer teeh wri'Heh.

'Ttahk. God Rod riclc woh+ te ih +^e Audiehce +0 see me humilitv+e nysel-f. Mrs. Hor+oh Srtid +'e is ^oih^ +0 te A semi/ormrtl occASioh, rthd X khow -theres ho wy Rodriclc is ^oih^ +0 wear A -he -for (X middle sc^ool Bo+ -t-odrt WASh+ rtll trtd. ~Twrtrd -the ehd 0-f ^rrtc+ice^ Archie Kell -+red oVer Rodhe Jrtmes Ahd cved '*'5 +00+^

becAuse he couldh+ s+iclc v's arms 00+ +0 brertlc vs -frtII. 105 So +^e c^ood hews is, +'ere le-H-ih^ os Trees carve 00+ am ^oles -for -the ^erformrthce. ^esda 'lh0^+ wrtS +Ke i)0 school ^roduc+ioh f "^>e vliirtrd 0-f 01.' "T^e -firs+ si^h +hV+ -rtvVu^s were ht ^oih^ +0 op well X wrtS ^eelcih^ +Kroo^K +Ke cor+rtih +0 c^eclc 00+ how mah ^eo^le s^ovved +0 See +'e Ahd ^oess v^o wrtS s+rthdih^ -froh+? M bro+her Rodriclc, weirih^ A cli^-oh +ie.

na^ehed i>e-fore +ne ^ eVeh s-tarted. \\t mus+ hrtVe /ouhd 00+ X WrtS Sih0h0, Ahd Ke couldirvt resis+ +he c^Ahce +0 see ne emkrtrTASS rysel-f. wos su^osed +0 s+rtrt A+ -'00, t)+ i+ <y)+ deUed becAuse Rodhe Jrtmes Krtd S+A^e -fr^+* ou d -icurt +hrt+ Soneohe w^0Se jot) i+ WAS +0 si+ oh +he s+rt^e Ahd do ho+vh^ coold jus+ soclc i+ 0^ for ohe erorncxhce. Bo+ Rodhe wooldh+ budc^e, Ahd eVeh-hMI, his non hrtd +0 ccxrr Kin o-f-f.

'W\t /hrtll 30+ s+rtr+ed arouhd -30. V^otod coold renenter +heir lihes, jos+ like X redic+ed, bu+ Mrs. Vvlor+oh ce^+

+'iiVkjS noVih^ rtloh^ wi+h her ^'Aho. 107 'W\t icid w^o To+o As+ool Ahd A ^ile 0-f comic tooks oh+o +^e S+A^e, Ahd +1^+ +o+rtll ruihed +he w^ole ' do^ e-f-fec+.

V^eh i+ wrtS +ine -for +he {orts scehe, ne Ahd +^e O+^er 'Xrtts ih+o ourosi+iohs."TV*e cor+rtihs rost, Ahd w^eh did, X heard Mrthhs Voice. Grerh X hrtVe teeh rttle +0 lcee^ +1^+ hiclchrtne <juie+ -for -fiVe ears, Ahd how rtll 0-f +Ke suddeh +^e w^ole +owh |chew i+. X could -feel rttoo+ 300 ^Ars 0-f eebrtlls ' h+ed n Wrt. So X did sone <juic|c Ahd X w<xs rtble +0 de-flec+ +^e entirrrtSSneh+ oVer +0 Arcve Kell.

\ Bo+ +'e major entrtrrissneh+ WAS s+ill oh +'e Wty. vl^eh X heard Mrs. Hor+oh l<y>'h3 -the firs+ -few bars 0-f "vle 'TViree *\rees/ X -fel+ ry s+omach jon* X looced 00+ A+ +'e Audiehce, Ahd X ho+iced Rodriclc wAS ^oldih^ A video cAmera. l

X kh ew i-f X SAh^ -+he Soh^ Ahd Rodriclc recorded i+, he woold lcee^ +'e -h^e /oreVer Ahd ust i+ +0 humiliA+e ne -for +'e res+ 0-f n li-fe. X didh+ |chow w'rt+ +0 o, so wheh +^e +ine came +0 s+ar-sih0h0, X jus+ ce^+ n rnou+h shu-K WE THREE TREES^ ( FROM YONDER Jj GLEN...

For <x -few secohds -there, -tvh^s weh+ OK. X /^ured +1+ i X didh+ +ec^hicill sih^ +^e sohc^, -t^eh Rodriclc wouldh + hrtVe Ah+|viruj +0 hold oVer ry ^ertd. Bu+ A-f+er A -few secohds, +^e O+^er 'Xrtts ho+iced X wrtSh+ sih0h0. 110 X 3oeSS rnoS+Ve 4>0U3^+ X khew Some+vh^ +Ka+ +Ke didh*+, so +Ke s+o^ed sih^ihc^ +00. r D SPY A miDEN^\ VT FAIR AND Sweet J

^T

#M ra \\low -+he -+hree 0-f us A word. Mrs. Hor+oh nos+ +'e sohc^ becAuse s^e Ahd vvhis^ered -t^e res+

were jus+ s+rthdih^ +Kere, ho+ Scyihc^ hrtVe 4>0U3^+ we -for0o+ +'e words +0 Crtne oVer +0 -t^e side 0-f -t^e s+rt^e 0-f +^e lrics +0 us.

WHILST WE RE \ RTED TO UR * SPOTS, SHE DOTH KVE ON ; LIGHTER FEET... ' Soh^ is ohl rti)00+ -t^ree niho+es lohc^, 1)0+ +0 ne i+ -fel+ lilce Ah ^oor rthd A X wrtS jus+ ^riih^ +'e cor+rtihs would op dowh So we could o-f-f +'e S+A^e. "TV>a+s w^eh X ho+iced PrHy Frtrrell s+rthdih^ ih +^e wih^s. A*d i-f looks coold kill, os 'Xrtts woold te dertd. s^e robrtl>y +Kou^K+ we were roihih^ ^er c^Ahces 0-f mrtcihc^ i+ +0 BrortdwAy or some+|vVuj. I . I '

Seeih0 PrHy s+rthdih^ +'ere renihded ne wh X si^hed +0 te A 'ree ih +^e -firs+ ^ce. Pre-H sooh, +Ke res+ 0-f +Ke 'rees s+ar+ed +Hrowihg f*'eS' +00. X +Kihk 'O eVeh 30+ ih oh +^e AC+. Sonetod chocced c^Usses o-f-f 0-f Prt*Hys v*ertd ^ Ahd ohe 0f +'e lehses troke. Mrs. v^or+oh W +0 shu+ dowh +^e A-f+er +Ka+; becAuse Prt-Hy Crth + see +wo -fee+ ih -froh+ 0-f ^er wi+^oo+ ^er c^Usses. -er +^e WAS oVer, n /rtmil weh+ home +o^e+^er. Mon ^rtd brou<^+ A bou<jue+ 0-f -oMtrs, Ahd X 3oess were S00Sed ^or ne bu+ s^e ehded u^> +0SSih^ +'en ih +^e -TAsh Crth oh +^e Wty 00+ +he door. X jus+ +1^+ eVeryohe who CAme +0 see +he ^ly w<xs <xs eh+er+rtihed AS X wAS. vedhesdrt Vslell, i-f ohe qoo ivVu^ Cme oui 0-f i^e ^la> rts ii X dohi hVe io worr toui i^e Bu>> hicchdime ahymore.

Krtssled ih -+he haw<y -f+er /i-p+h ^eriod iod; so ii looks like X Ch Tihll siri io breaihe li+tle easier.

Suhda Vsliih a "Hvs su-f-f goihg oh i school, X ^Vehi eVeh hd iine io ivhk boui Chrisimas. Ahd iis less i^h ieh das aw<y. llH Xh -f<*ci, i^e ohl ivlr^ ii 'H^ed ne o{{ +h'! CKrisinS WS comihc wS w^eh Rodrick ^>1/+ v's wish isi oh ihe reTri^eraior. ^ *----------------------- ^ ^ ^nclcs 1S\\ * Lis+ 1* NeVv drurns 2* New Van 3* staunken head V A> X usull nrtke 1>0 wish lis-t" eVer ear, bir!- ivs C^risinS; ll X rell Whi is ihis video t^me Clled "Twisied Vsliird. "lh^i Mhh wS ^oih^ i^rou^K i^e c^risins Cilo^, ^ickih^ oui ll i^e siu-f-f Ke Whis wiiK >.'3 red marker. Mhiry w(XS circlih^ eVer sih^le io ih i^e Cilo^. He WS eVeh circlih^ rell ex^ehsive -+Kih^s lice <^iirY+ no+oriied ccnr hd siu-f-f lilce ii. So X c1 ecided "+0 ih <*hd t^ive Kin sone t^ood ti^-troi^erl dvi' /ice. X tolc hi i^ai i-f Ke circled siu-f-f ii wS "100 ex^ehsive, Ke WS ^oiht^ -+0 ehd u^> vvi+K <* buhch o{ clo+hes for Chris+ms. X Sid Ke s^ould pick -three or -four medium^riced so Ke would ehd 0^ vvi+K cou^le 0-f +hih<^s Ke ac-|ull vvrth+ed.

Bui 0-f course. Mhh jusi wehi Wk io circlih^ eVer+vht^ t^ih. So X 3uess Ke II jLS"l hVe -+0 learh i^e Krd w<y. Vsl^eh X WS seVeh, -the ohl X rell Whied -for Chrisimas WS Barbie Pream Huse. NOT because X like ^irls "tos, like Rodrick Sid. 116 X juS^ +KoucjK'l' r+ would be reall Wesone -for-! for ny +o soldiers. vl^eh Hon hd Pd SW ny wish liS"h +h<rl ear, i^e t^oi ih t)icj f^K't oVer ii. Pd Sid +^>ere w(XS ho wa Ke WS ^e++ih^ ne doll^ouse, bi/t Hon Sid ii WS KeliK -for ne io * ex^erinehi wiiK w^+eVer cihd o{ -+os X Wh+ecl "+0 ^l(* wi^.

BelieVe H- or ho-t; Pd ac+ull woh rt^umeirrl. Pd iold ne io siri ry wisK isi oVer hd ^ick Sone ios were nore ^ro^rite -for tos. Bui X h<*Ve secre+ wea^oh w^eh i-- cones -+0 Chris+ms. H Uhcle Crlie lw<ys aps me v^-teVer X vvalrvh X 'told K in X v^h+ed -+^e Bcnrtie Precnn House, hd Ke Sid Ked hook ne u^>. Oh Chris+mas, w^eh Uhcle C^Hie 3<*Ve ne ny 31/+> i+ WS NOT wh<*+ X asked -for. He r*ius+ve Wlked ih+o +he +o s+ore hd ^icked u^> +he -firs+ +Kih^ Ke SW +h<*+ Kd +he word "Barbie" oh i+. So i-f ou eVer see ^ic-h/re 0-f ne w^ere X ro Beach Fuh Barbie, how + leasi ou khow +he wv>e s+or. holdiha

Pd WSh + real w^eh Ke Sw w^+ Uhcle C^Hie 30+ ne. He +old me +0 ei+her +hrow i+ 00+ or ^ive i+ aw<y +0 chri-t. Bu+ X ke^>+ i+ hw(*. Ahd 0K> X rtdn+ ncnte X +00k i+ 0U+ hd ^laed wi+h i+ ohce or +wice. 113 c room +wo weeks lier wiih ^ihk Barbie shoe siuck uy ny hose. Ahd belieVe me, Rodrick has heVer lei ne hear i^e ehd 0-f THAT.

^Kursdty "1[hi^K't ne hd Hon weh'l o+ -+0 op\ (X or iKe ivihcj "Tree ai cKurcK. Givih^ '1free is basicll Secrei Shi cihd o ihiir^ where ou \ (X or Someohe wKo is heed. Hon ^icked 0U'l red wool svvea-ter or our Givih0 'Xrtt ojy. X iried io ilk Hon ihio cje-H-ihcj soneiKi^ loi cooler, like TV or slushie machihe or Someihiht^ ike Because imt^ihe i-f ll ou ^0"1 oh Chris+mrts WS wool swe'ler.

X Sure our Givihcj ~T"ree ^u will ihrow his swea+er ih +^e Tsh, loh0 wi+^ +^e +eh Chs o rs we sehi V^is w<y durih^ i^e ^hcst^iVih^ Food PriVe. CKrisimdS Vslheh X woke -this morhiht^ hd weh-f dowhS-tairs, i^ere were boui milioh gifts uhder ihe Chrisimas -\ree. B>1/+ wheh X sir+ed di^0h0 rouhd, +^ere were hardl h ^i-f+s wi+^ ny hame oh "them. Bui Mhlry mde oui lice a bhdii. He 3^ E.VERY siht^le -|-|vhcj Ke circled ih -the cdrtaloc, ho lie. So XII >ei Kes Ke ddhi isieh io ne.

X did -fihcl cou^le tvht^s vvi+K ny hme oh +1^, bui i^e were nosil books hd socks hd siu-f/ lice i^i. X o^ehed ry ^i-pts ih i^e corher te^ihd +he couch, because X dohi like o^ehih^ ^i-T^s hear Pd. Vl^eheVer soneohe o^ehs Pdswoo^>s ri^-h ih hd cleahs a-pter -+^en. X 3Ve Mrthiry -t-o helico^ier hd X Rodrick >ook boir!rock bhds. Rodrick t^ave ne >ook, oo, bir!- 0-f course. Ke didh-i- wr^> i-h >ook he t^o-i- ne wS Bes-I- 0-f L il CirKe. * L il Cuiie is i^e worsi conic ih i^e hevvs^^er, hd Rodrck khows how much X haie ii. X ivhk iKis is i^e -Tourih ear ih r*ow Xve ^0'Heh L il Cu-he >ook {rom him.

X 3<*Ve Mom hd Pd '1heir ^i^s* X i^e Sme kihd o iih^ eVer ear, bui ^arehis eai ii siu-f/ u^>. (THANKS) TJ

*The resi 0-f i^e reliives siaried showih<j u^> rouhd 11-00; hd Uhcle Charlie came i hooh. Uhcle Charlie >rou^i 1>KJ irash ><*3 -Tull 0-f hd Ke ^ulled ny ^resehi oui 0-f ihe io^) o-f i^e U3.

"The ^acka^e w(XS i^e exci r^i siz.e hd s^e +0 >e "Twisied vli2.rd Q&me., So X khew Uhcle ne. Hon tyri -the Cmera y $& Cbarlie Cme ifrou^n or readv hd X tore 0^>eh r B>u+ i+ wds jus+ dh 8 X 10 'C+ure 0-f Uhce ChdHie.

X 3uess X didh + do d ahd Hon ^0+ mdd. All becduse i-f X hdd +0 u^s O^\ X doh+ +vhk X /IKN0W TWE\ PERFECT ] V PLACE FOR / I JUST KNW YOD LOV ra

^ood jot> 0-f vdih^ ny diSd0,'rvlTt'e'rvl', X Cdh S(X is, Xm ^dd X ri s+ill ki, dc+ dbou+ +he kihds 0-f ^i-+s ^rowhcoud tt'

X weh+ +0 ny room +0 +dke d bredk -for wve. A cou^e mihu+es d+er, Prtd khocked oh ny door. \\t +od ne Ke hdd ny ^i-f+ for ne 0U+ ih +he O<xr<xOt, dhd +he rertSoh i+ WdS 0U+ +here WdS becduse i+ Wds +00 +0 vvrd^*

Ah<J w^eh X Wdked dowh +0 +he c^drdc^e, +here wdS d brdhd-hew weic^+ se+.

"TVka+ +vh^ nus+ hdVe COS+ d -for+uhe. X didh + hdVe +he hedr+ +0 +e Pdd +hd+ X kihd 0-f 0S+ ih+eres+ ih +he whole wejK+lrf+ihcj +vh^ w^eh +he wres+ih^ uhi+ ehded dS+ week. So X js+ Sdid "+hdhks ihs+edd.

X +v'hk prtd Wds ex^ec+ih^ ne +0 drc> dowh dhd s+r+ doih^ some re^s or some+vh^, i>u+ X jus+ excused nyse-f dhd weh+ Wk ihside. A+ dboui 6:00, II +he red+ives cedred 0U+. X wdS si-Hihc^ oh +he couch wd+cvh^ Mdhh ^ wi+h Kis +os, feeih^ sorrv-fornysel-f. "VKeh Mom Cdme +0 me dhd Srtio +hd+ s^e fouhd d ^i-f+ bevhd +he ^irtho wi+h ny hdme oh i+, rthd i+ Sdid, 'Tron Sdh+d."

126 1fce box w<xs Wd +00 -for *Twis+ed vizdrd, bu+ Hon Sdme bi'3 box +rickoh nedS+ t(\r w^eh s^e 30+ ne d nenor Crtrd -for ny video c^dme ss+en. So X ri'ed +he rtc^rt3e ulled 0U+ ny ^reseh+. Oh +v's Wdsh + "Twis+ed vlizdrd, ei+her. x+ Wds d ^irthi red woo swed+er.

A+ -frs+ X +h ou^K+ Hon wdS sone kihd 0-f rdc+icrtl joke oh me, becduse +v's swert+er wdS +he Sdme kihd we -for our Givih^ 'Xrtt Qjy. $u+ Hon seemed ^'TfWy coh-fused, +00. S^e Sdid she DID bu ne d video ne, dhd +hd+ s^e hdd ho ided whd+ +he swert+er Wds doih^ ih ny box. Ah<J +Keh X -i^ured i+ 0U+. X +od Hon +here mus+ hdVe teeh sone kihd 0-f mix-u; dhd X 30+ +he Givih^ "Tree 3us rtn*d 3^ rt'|)r'e*

Hon Sdid s^e used c^i so s^e nus+ve $u+ +Keh Mom Sdid Givih^ ^ree Qjy

+he Sdme kihd 0-f wr'^ for to+K 0-f our wri-Heh +he wroh^ hdmes oh +he +dc^s. +hd+ +vs Wds red d c^ood becduse +he wdS ^obbl redl he 30+ Su^ A 3rert+

118 X hdd +hd+ OU heed d c^rtme ss+en dhd d TV +0 Twis+ed vlizdrd, so +he ^rtne WdS +o+d useess +0 Kin.

'E-Veh +houc^h n Chris+mds Ws ho+ ^oih^ +h+ ^rert+^ X sure i+ WdS ^oih^ d whoe 0+ worse for +he Givihg 'Xrtt ojy.

X kihd 0-f decided +0 +hrow ih +he +owe -for +vs chris+mds, dhd X hedded +0 Rovves house. 12*1 X -for^o+ +0 c^e+ d ^i-f+ for Rowe, so X juS+ sl'pe<^ rt koW 'r' "^e ^'1 Cu+ie took Rodrick 3<*ve ne. Ah<J +h+ seemed +0 do +he +rick.

Rovves rtreh+S hdVe d 0+ 0-f mohe, so X Cdh 3.-fh 3u+ Rowe Sdid +hd+ +vs t<xr he 'cked 0U+ n gif+ vmse-f. ^TKeh Ke l>roucjK+ ne ou+side +0 show me w^d+ i+ WdS. dvvdvs couh+ oh +nen -for d c^ood Tron +he Wd Rowe WdS his rese,rv^ +Kou^K+ he mus+ hdVe C^o-Heh ne d ti^-screeh TV or rno+orcce or some+vh^. 130 Bu+ ohce ^ih X le+ ny ^e+ +00

Rowe ^0+ ne d vl^ee. X ^uess X woud hdVe +houc^h+ +vs w<xs d coo ^i-f+ w^eh X Wds ih +he +vrd c^rdde, tu+ X hdVe ho ided whd+ X su0Secl +0 do wi+h ohe how. Rowe Wds so eh+husids+ic dbou+ i+ +hd+ X +ried ny bes+ +0 dc+ ike X Wds dhvvd. GEE, TUANKS!.

vle weh+ bdck ihside,, dhd Rowe showed me vs chris+mds 00+. \\e. Sure ^0+ d 0+ more S+U-T +hdh X did. He s+ed vlizdrd, so d+ ertS+ X Crth i+ w^eh X come +0 vs house. "TVtrt+ is, uh+i Rovves ddd fhds 0U+ how Vioeh+ i+ is. rtS Ato bo, ou hdVe heVer seeh soneohe dS Rowe wi+h vs Li Cu+ie took. H'S mom Sdio i+ wdS +he oh +vh0 oh vs S+ +hd+ Ke didh+ ^e+. vle, X n 3^ SOMEONE ^0+ whd+ +he Wdh+ed +odd. /^Tt5_A^\ CURlSTMAS V MIRACLE J eVeh ao+ \wi Hew Yertrs E-Ve Xh Cdise oure wohderihg wh+ X doih0 ih ry roon d+ ^-'00 .rn. oh Hew edrs 'E-Ve, le+ me -f1 oo ih. 'c-rlier +ocU., me dhd Mdhlry were horsih0 drouhd ih +he i>semeh+. X -fouhd d +iVy bdck i>ll 0-f +hred oh +he cdre+; dhd X +od Mdhlry i+ Wds d Sider. "TKeh X held i+ oVer Kin l'ke X WrtS ^oih^ +0 mdke Kim ed+ i+.

Ric^+ w^eh X WdS dbou+ +0 e+ Mdhlry op, Ke slrtec^ rthd r^dcle ne dro^ +he +hredd. Ah<J 3^ess w^d+? ^d+ -foo\ swdowed i+.

tahd

vell; Mahh com^le+el los+ Kis mihd. He rah u^s+irs +0 where Hon was, hd X khew X was ih t)i^ +routle. I I

Mahh +old Hon X made Kin ea+ a s^ider. X +old Ker +here was ho s^ider, ahd +K+ i+ was jus+ +ih ball 0-f +hread.

Hon trou^K+ Mahh oVer +0 +he Ici+cKeh +a)le. "TKeh she ^0+ seed, raisih, hd oh a ^la+e hd +old Mahh +0 ^oih+ +0 +Ke +hihcj +ha+ was +Ke closes+ ih size +0 +Ke ^iece o +Kred Ke swllowed. 134 Mahh +ook A wKile +0 loolc oVer +he +hihcjs oh +he ^la+e.

"TKeh Ke wal|ce( oVer +0 +he re-fri^er+or hd ^ulled 00+ ah orahc^e.

So +K+S wy X 30+ seh+ +0 ted a+ 7*00 hd Xn ho+ dowhs+airs wa+chihj +he Hew Years 6-Ve s^ecial oh TV.

+ha+s lso wh m ohl Hew Years resolu+ioh is +0 heVer wi+K Mahh ac^aih. 135 JANUAR.Y vedhesda X -ouhd a w<y +0 haVe sone -fuh wi+h +Ke Bicj VKeel Rowle CJ0+ ne -for Chris+mas. X came L> wi+K +Kis cjame where ohe gu rides dowh +he vll hd +he o+her ojy +ries +0 khock Kin off wi+K (X /oo+ball. Rowley was +he -firs+ ohe dowh hill, hd X was +ne +hrower.

x+s a lo+ harder +0 v+ novih^ +ar0e+ +hah X +Kou^K+. Plus, X didh+ ^e+ a lo+ 0-f ^rac+ice. x+ +ook Rowle lilce +eh nihu+es +0 walk +he Bicj vheel baclc +he U\ rt-+er eVery +n dowh. 136 Rowle ce^+ as|cihcj +0 swi+cK ^laces ahd haVe ne te +he ohe wKo rides +Ke Bicj vheel, tu+ '-r\ Y\o foo\. ~Th+ +hihcj was hi-Hhcj +KiHfive miles ah hour, ahd i+ didh+ haVe ah bralces. /DO YOU WANT\ / TO UAVE A 1 1 TUR.N NOW? / V^PANT, PNT)/ /NO THANKS...N I'M NOT s \GOOD s YOU^

Ahwa, X heVer did khoclc Rowle off +he Bicj vheel +od<y. Bu+ X 3^ess X haVe Sone+Kih^ +0 work a+ oVer +he res+ o CKris+nS

Vaca+ioh. ^v>ursdty X was headihc^ +0 Rowles +oda +0 ^lav our B,-3 vheel cjame ac^aih, >u+ Hon said X haa +0 /hisK n Chris+mas +Kh|c-ous be-ore X weh+ 00+ ahwhere. X +Kou^K+ X could jus+ crahk o\ ry +Kh|c-ou cards ih a hal-f hour, b+ wKeh i+ came +0 ac+uall wrrhh0 +hem, ny nihd weh+ blahlc.

Le+ ne +ell ou, i+s ho+ eas wri+ih^ +Khlc-ou ho+es -for s+uf-f ou didh+ wah+ ih --^e -frs+ ^lce. X s+ar+ed wi+K +Ke hohclo+Kes i+ems, because X +Kou^K+ +Ked te easies-h Bu+ a-f+er +wo or +Kr ee cards, X realized X was ^rac+icall wri+ih^ +Ke same +hihcj eVer +ine. So X wro+e c^eheral -forn oh +he com^+er wi+K blahks -for +he +hihcjs +K+ heeded +0 chah^e. vri+ih^ +he cards -fron +here was a breeze.

133 Dear^urrt- Ldid, Thank you so much for the awesome encclcpedia ! How did you know I wanted that for Christmas? love the way the ehcclopedia looks on my she|f ! All my friends will be so jealous that I have my very own encclopedici Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever! Sincerely, Greg M ss+en worced OU+ ^re"Hy well -for -irs cou^le 0-f ^i-+s, l)+ a-f+er ho+ so nucK. Dear /\un-i" Lore+td, Thank you so much for the awesome arvts ! How did you know I wanted that for Christmas? I love the way the an+s looks on my le^5 ! All my friends will be so jealous that I have my very own nts Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever! Sincerely, Grg

13? fricUv X -ihall chocced Rowle f-f +he Bicj VlKeel -+od<yj 1)0+ i+ didh+ ha^eh +he w<y X ex^ec+ed. X was +rih^ +0 Ki+ Kin ih +he shoulder, tu+ X missed, ahd +he /oo+ball weh+ uhder +he -froh+ +ire.

Rowle +ried +0 brealc Kis -fall t s+ickih^ 00+ Kis arms, tu+ Ke Ihded ^re-Hy hard oh his le-f+ Khd. X -^ured hed jus+ shalce i+ o-f-f ahd cje+ ri^K+ baclc oh +he bilce, tu+ Ke didh+. X +ried +0 cheer Kin i)t+ all +he jolces +K+ usuall craclc Kin wereh+ wor|cihcj. 140 So X khew Ke mus+ te hur+ ^re++ td. /HEY, LOOK AT ME?\ m YOUR DAD! V^DRR DRR DARRy'

MohcU Chris+mas Vaca+ioh is oVer, hd how were baclc a+ school. Ahd ou renenter Rowles Bicj vheel ccideh+? vell, Ke brolce vs hahd, hd how Ke has +0 wear a cas-h +od<y, eVeryohe was crowdihcj rouhd Kin lilce Ke wAS & Kero or some+vhc^.

141 X +ried +0 cash ih oh sone 0-f Rowles hew ^o^ulariH, tu+ i+ te+all baclc-red.

ri THE ONE WWO BROKE HIS MAND!

YOU riEANIE!,

A+ luhcK a tuhcK 0-f c^irls ihVi+ed Rowle oVer +0 +heir +tle so +Ke could FEED Kin. vha+ reall +ic|cs ne o-f-f a>ou+ +K+ is +K+ Rowle is ricjh-lhahded ahd i+s Kis LEFT hahd +ha+s trokeh. So Ke cah feed himsel/jus+ -fhe. HERE_ COriES THE /AIRPLANE!

142 'Tuts& X real ized Rowles ihjury +v'h<j is a ^re-H QOO racke-l-, so X decided i+ was +ine -for ne +0 haVe ah ihjury 0-f ry owh. X +oolc sone Q<\uzz -fron home, hd X wra^ed ry Khd +0 malce i+ loolc lilce i+ was hurh /ITS A RAGINgX / INFECTI0N CASED BY \ 1 SPNTER THAT WAS \LEFT UNTRETED y'

X couldh+ -fcjure 00+ wy +he ^irls wereh+ swarmihcj ne lilce +he swarmed Rowle, t)u+ +Keh X realized wK+ +he ^roblem was. See, +he cas+ is (X ^rea+ ^innicc because eVeryohe wah+s +0 sicjh +heir hanie oh i+. Bu+ iVs ho+ exac+l eas +0 sicjh cjauze wi+h ^eh. 143 So X Cme 0^ wi+K solu+ioh -+h+ X +^01^+ Ws jts+ S ^ood. / WOULD YO KE TO\ BE THE FIRST ONE \ V TO SIGN MY / X^SYMPATY SHEET?/

T^+ ide was +o+l >1>S+, +00. M bhd^e did ehd > Hrc-hhc^ -H-eh+ioh /rom cou^le 0-f ^eo^le, )t+ telieVe me, +Ke were ho+ -+he 0-f ^>eo^le X wS ^oih^ -for. /CAN I PEK\ AT UR \INFECTlON?y LS+ week we s+r+ed -the +^ird <^i>r+er + school, So how X hVe whole >uhch 0-f hew clsses. Ohe 0-f -the clsses X si^hed -for is sone+l^ih^ Clled Xhde^ehdeh+ s+ud.

X WANTED +0 sic^h uy {r Hone ^.cohonics 2, becose X Ws ^>re-H ^ood + Home 6-c 1. Bt+ >eihc^ c^ood + sewih^ does ho+ exc+l ku oo ^o^ulrvt ^oih+s + school.

A^V/A, t^is Xhde^ehdeh+ s+ud +Kih^ is h ex^erinieh+ +here +rih^ ot+ + oor school -for -the -frs+ -tme. 'The ide is +h+ +he clSS ^e+s ssi^hed ^rojec+, hd "theh oo hVe +0 work oh i+ +o^e+l^er v/i+h ho +echer ih +he roorn for +he whole <^i>r+er. c+ch is +h+ wheh oi/re dohe, eVerohe ih oor -+he Sme c^rde. X -ouhd ot+ +h+ Rick ^sher is ih ny clSS, which could >e )i^ ^roblem. Ricks )i^ clrtirn +0 -fame is -+h+ hell 'C k +he o-f-f -+he )o++on 0-f desk hd c^ew i+ i-f oo ^A him -fif-+ ceh+s. So X doiV-t rell hVe ho^es -for oor c^rde.

'Xots& ~Td we c^0+ our Xhde^eh(leh+ s+ud SSi^hneh+, hd c^uess wh+ i+ is? vle ha Ve +0 )tild ro>o+. A+ firs+ eVertod kihd of /reked 0U+, becuse we -+hoi>c^+ we were c^oihc^ +0 hVe +0 toi Id +u ro)o+ -fron> scr+clv 1% Mr. Prhell +old ts we doh+ hVe +0 )tild h c+ol ro>o+. vle jos+ heed +0 cone v/i+h ideS -for wh+ oor ro)o+ r look

like hd wh+ kihds 0-f thih^s i+ wotld )e )le +0 do. Ttah he Ief+ +he room, hd we were oh oor owh. vle s+ar+ed brihs+ormih^ <xw<x. X wro+e dowh >uhch ideS oh +he >lck>0rd. +v>e robo+ wooM do my fiomeWor: do +he dishes make my break- fas+ brusf* rn +ee+h

'E-Vertod Ws ^>re-H in^ressed wi-|-h ny ideS, )t+ i+ wS es +0 come wi+K -them. All X did Ws wri+e dowh ll +he +l^ih^s X h+e msel-f. e ^irls 30+ +0-+he-froh+0-f +he room, hd "the hd some ideas 0-f +heir owh. 'T^e erased ry lis+ hd drew +heir owh ^lh. Bt+ couole 0-f +h 147 c^rou^s, ^irls hd )os. T>e )os weh+ +0 -+he o+her side 0f -+he room w^ile +he ^irls s+ood rouhd -+lkih<3Mow -+h+ we Krtcl ll +he serious workers ih ohe ^lce, we ^0+ +0 work. Soneohe hd -+he ide +h+ ou Ch sa our hme +0 +he ro)o+ hd i+ Ch say i+ )ck +0 you.

+heh soneohe else ^oih+ed OU+ -+h+ oo s^otldh+ )e )le +0 tse >d words -for oor hme, becuse -+he ro)o+ s^otldh+ >e )le +0 curse. So we decided we should conte. wi+h lis+ 0-f ll -+he >d words -+he ro)o+ s^otldh+ >e )le +0 sa. vle Cme v/i+h ll +he re^ular >d words, )t+ +heh Rick ^sher came U v/i+h +weh"t mo re -+he res+ 0-f os hd heVer eVeh heard >e-fore.

So Rick ehded V )eih^ ohe 0-f -+he nos+ Vluble coh+ri)t+ors oh -+Kis ^rojec+. >e-fore -+he >ell rah^, Mr. Prhell Cme Wk ih "the room +0 check oh oor ^ro^ress. He ^icked > +he ^iece 0-f Atr we were wr, 'h'r'3 0^ hd red i+ oVer. 1^ 'Xo nake. a loh^ s+or sKori, Xhde^ehdeh+ s+ud is chceled -for -+he res+ 0-f -the ear.

vlell, + leas+ i+ is -for os tos. So i-f +he ro)o+s ih +he {iAort re ^oih^ arouhd wi+h cherr Ii 3I0SS -for /h^ers, + leS+ how ot khow now i+ ll 30+ s+r+ed. TVturstUy Xh school +od +l^e hd c^eherl ssembl hd showed -+he moVie 'X+s Gre+ +0 Be Me/' which +he show os eVery er. 'Tta moVie is all )oi>+ how oo should )e v/i+h who OO are hd ho+ c^hc^e h+hihc^ )oi>+ oorst\-f. 150 To >e hohes+ wH-h oo, X +l'whk +Krt+S reall durn) messc^e +0 )e +ellih^ kids, es^ecill -+he ohes + ny sc^ool. rrs gre^ ^ TO BE ME/

L+er oh, -+he mde h hhothceneh+ +h+ +here re sone o^ehih^s oh +he s<x-ft-\y ?+rols, hd +h+ 30+ ne -tvhlcihg. someohe ^icks oh S-fe-t p+rol, i+ Ch c^e+ -them sus^ehded. *Tta W(* X iQurt rt, X Ch tse h ex+r ^ro+ec+ioh X Ch ^e+. Plus, X reliz.ed +h+ n-be teih^ ih ^osi+ioh rtu+Korrt could >e c^ood -for ne.

CAN W PLEASE CROSS THE STREET NOW? BUT WE'VE BEEN STANDING HERE FOR AN UOR

X weh+ dowh +0 rv. vihsks o-f-fice hd sighed 7sel-f X 30+ Rowle +0 sic^h +00. Mr. vlihsk would mke us do 4 tuhch o{ cih-u^s or junih^

j<*cks or some-tvhg +0 ^roVe we were uy -for -+K& jo>, >C+ ^e jus+ Krthded us our te+s rthd badc^es oh -the S>0+. \Ar. vlhsk Sid -+he o^ehih^s were -for s^ecil SSi^hneh+. Otr sc^ool is ric^+ hex+ +0 +he elemeh+ry school, hd +heVe 30+ hl^-d kihderc^ar+eh -+here. He Wh+S ts +0 Wlk +l^e norhih^ sessioh kids home ih +he niddle o{ +he d. X realized +h+ meh+ we wotld rniss +weh-|y mih+es 0-f Pre-Al^ebra. Rowle nts+ hVe /c^ured -+h+ oo-, +00, becuse he s+r+ed +0 s^ek Bt+ X 3<*Ve him wicked ^ihch uhderhe+h +he desk l>e-fore Ke could -fihish ks seh+ehce. /^JTW WOULD MSS ANOn

X couldh+ telieVe ry lock.. X was ^e++ih0 ihs+h+ bull ^ro+echh hd -free ^ass /rom Krtl-f o/ Pre-Al^ekra, hd X didh+ eVeh hVe +0 lift /h^er. 'lesd <y 'ldtx was our -firs+ dcy as Srt-fe-t Prtrols. He rthd Rowle doh+ +echhicall hrtVe s+rt+iohs lice rtll +he o+her Prtrols, So +ha+ meahs we doh+ h*ve +0 s+ahd o ih +he -freezih^ cold for rth Kour te-fore school. Bu+ +h*+ <Ji<Jh + s+o^ us -fron comiht^ +0 +he crt-fe+erirt -for +he -free Ko+ c^ocolrt+e +he hahd 0U+ +0 +he o+her Prt+rols tefore homeroom.

Aho+tar 3reA+ erk er,d.

,s

ou +0 show +eh nihu+es la+e -for -firs+

X iellih^ ou, Xve 30+ i+ made wi+K +Kis Srt-fe-t Prt+rol +Kih^. A+ 12:15, ne rthd Rowle le-f+ sc^ool rthd walke<J +he kihder^rtr+hers Kone. 1k whole +n'> A+e u^> for-tfive mihu+es, ahd +here were ohl +weh+ nihu+es 0-f Pre-Al^ebra lef+ we 30+ Wk. VrtlciV^ +^e cids home was ho swea+. B>+ ohe 0-f +he kiVvier^Artoers s+ar+ed +0 snell & li++le -fuY\Y\, ahd X +khk mcybe \\t had rth accideh+ ih Kis ^>rth+s. He iried +0 le+ me khow rtbou+ +., tu+ X jus+ s+ared s+rait^+ rthead Ahd ke^>+ wrtljciVi^. X II +ake +hese kids home, tu+ telieve me, I *WhJ+ si^h u^> -for &Y\ dirt^er du-t.

155 FEBRUARY vedhesdty 'lda i+ showed -for +he -frs+ +ine +v's wih+er, rthd Sc^ool was cahceled. ve were su^osed +0 hrtVe A +es+ ih Pre-Ahd Xve kihd 0-f slacked o-ff eVer sihce X tecrtne rt Srt-fe-t Prt+rol. So X was ^sc^ed. -.-

X Crtlled Rowle ahd +old Kin +0 cone oVer. He rthd Kin h*ve teeh +alciV\cj rtbou+ tuildih^ +he world s bic^es+ showmah -for +he ^>as+ cou^>le 0-f ears how. Ahd X Sty worlds bic^es+ Shovmah, X rn ho+ ciddih^. Our t^oal is +0 ^e+ ih+o +he Guihhess Book 0-f vorld Records. 156 fL ASH p Bu+ every +ime weve ^o++eh strious rtbou+ ^oih^ for +he record, rtll +he show mel+ed, rthd weve missed our wihdow 0-f o^or+uhHy. So +Kis ttxr, X wah+e<J +0 ^e+ s+txr+ed rigK+ AWcy. V^eh Rowle ccxne over, we s+txr+ed rollih^ frs+ show>rtll +0 nrtke base. X -^ured base was 3<ihg +0 h*ve +0 te rt+ leasi eit^+ -fe.fi +rtll oh i+s owh i-f we Wrth+ed +0 rt sho+ CX+ brertkihg record. Bu+ +he show>rtll 30+ rertl heav, cmd we Krtti +0 +ake rt buhch 0-f breaks ih te+weeh rolls so we could ca+ch our brea+v e +0 op +0 +he t^rocer s+ore, tu our showbrtll was tloccih^ Vier Ctxr |V\. So we 30+ A li-Hle -free utor 0U+ 0-f v>er.

A^+er our break; me rthi Rowle ^ushed +hrt+ show>rtll uh+il we couldhi ^>ush i+ Ah far+her. Bu+ we looked bevhd us, we

saw +he mess we hrt(J nirtde. Purih ohe 0-f our kreaks, Hon came ou+sio 153 "Tta show>rtll 30-Heh so heav i+ +ore uy rtll sod DAKrti jUS+ Irtid dowh +v's /rtll. X was i+ woul< show rt -few nore ihcV>es rthd coVer uy our +rac|cs^ tu+ jus+ lice i+ s+o^ed showih^.

t4r ... *fr ^ Our +0 tui 14 +Ke worl<J s bic^es+ Shovmrth was s+ar+ih^ +0 -frtll a^>ar+. So X Crtne u^> wi+h A be-Her idea -for our showbrtll. 6-Ver +ine i+ shows, +he cids -fron vl^irle s+ree+ use our Kill for sleddih^, eveh +v>is ish+ +heir he^borhoocl. 15T So +omorrow morhiht^ w^eh +he v^irle s+ree+ ktis come marchih^ u^> our hiH, me rthd Rowle txre ^oih^ +0 ieach +hose 3us A lessoh.

FFI ra

a_a

"TKursdrt v^eh X wo|ce +his morhiht^ show was rtlread s+cxr+ih^ +0 nel+. So X +ol<J Rowle +0 hurry uy Ahd ^e+ dowh +0 ny house. vhile X was Wrti+ih^ -for Rowle +0 show u^t X Wrt+ched Mrthh +rih^ +0 build rt Shovmah 0U+ 0-f piddly crumbs 0-f show +h*+ were le-f+ over from our showtrtll. 160 x+ WrtS ac+uall iciVvti 0-f

X reall cou ldh+ doih^ W^A+ X did hex+. Uh-for+uhrt+el -for me, ri^+ rt+ +ha+ momeh+, Prti wcxs rt+ +^e -froh+ wihdow.

161 Prtd was ALREADY mad A+ ne -for +earih^ u^>

+he socL so X khew X was ih -for i+. X taard +^e t^ara^e door 0^>eh rthd X SAW Pad conih^ ou+side. \\t marched r0^+ o\ carriht^ rt show s^oVel , rthd X +^ou^K+ X was CJO|V\0 +0 have +0 make A ruh or i+.

Bu+ Prtd was ^ertiih^ -for ry showball, ho+ ne. Ahd 'h less A mihu+e, Ke reduced rtll our har<J work +0 ho+hih<3* Rowle Crtme t rt -few mihu+es la+er. X +^0U^+ Ke m^+ ac+uall cje+ rt cicc 0U+ 0-f W^A+ ha^ehed.

Bu+ X ^uess Ke Kis hear+ se+ oh rollih^ +h*+ showtrtll dowh v'11, Ahd Ke was reall mrtd. Bu+ ^e+ +v's; Rowle was mrtd rt+ ^IE -for W^A+ DAD did. X +ol<J Rowle he was beiht^ rt bit^ brty, rthd we ^0+ ih rt shoViht^ mrt+ch. Rit^+ i+lookedlice we were ^oiht^ +0 ^e+ ih rth rtll-ou+ we ^0+ rtmbushecl -fron s+ree+. ^o x+ was d hrt-hd-ruh t -the vlhirle s+ree+ kids. * *

Ahd 'rf Hrs. Levihe, ry 'E-h^lisK iedcher, wdS i^ere, Xn sure s^e would KdVe Sdid +Ke w^ole si+ud+ioh WAS irohic. vedhesda ^cU d+ sc^ool +Ke hhouhced +Keres dh for +Ke car+oohis+ jo> ih +Ke sc ohl ohe comic slo+; hd 0^ uh+il how +Kis kid hmec Brydh Li-Hle \\AS teeh hoc^ih^ i+ dll +0 Kmsel-T. hool odoer. 'Tberes 164 Brdh hdS +Kis conic Cdlled Vsdck dhd w^eh i+ s+ar+ec o--i i+ wdS ac+udill re"H /ohh. Bui Id+el, Brdhs teeh usih^ his s+nY +0 hdhdle Kis ^>ersohdil tosihess. X ^oess -+hd+s +Ke 3<*Ve Kin +he dxe* Wacky Dawg BryanLittle Hey, Actually, Wacky Ihav^ Dawg say something somethin' seriouf m mind FUNNyi y ] today. c

Susan Lim, if you are reading this, Bryan is very sorry he kissed your best friend Rachel behind the lockers. He hopes you can f ind it in your heart to forgive him. p.s. Barry Palmer, you still owe Bryan f ive dollars, yu BUM

As sooh dS X Kearc +he hews, X khew X Kdd +0 +r 0U+. 'Vdck Pdv^" mdde Brydh Li-Hle d celebri-ty d+ our scKool; dhd X Wdh+ed +0 ot\ ih oh so ne 0-T +hd+ kihd 0-T -fme. X hdd A +dS+e 0-f whd+ i+s like +0 te -Tdmous d+ ny sc^ool wKeh X woh Kohorotle neh+ioh ih "Hvs ty Kd(J. h+isnokiV\ coh+es+ +n 165 All X did Wds +rdce dk ^ic+ure -Tron ohe O-T Rocrick s heav me+l ma <^azihes I tu+ luckil, ho ohe ever -Touhd OU+.

"TKe kid who woh -firs+ ^Ace |S ^dmed Chris Carhe. A^cl w^d+ kihd 0-f iicks ne o-f-f is +K<*+ C^ris snokes d+ leds+ d ci^areHes d d<y.

r<2?"T*1-! }on't noke. r ^ 166 'TKursdrtV He dhd Rowle cieciciecl +0 +eam u dhd do d Cdr+ooh +o^e+ner. So d-pter sc^ool +odd Ke Cdme oVer +0 ry house, dhd we ^0+ +0 work.

ve bdh^ed 0U+ d tuhcK 0-f chdrdc+ers recnl ^uiclc, i>u+ +hd+ +urhed 0U+ +0 te +he eas <*r+. Vs^eh we -triec +0 +Wftk sone jokes; we kihd O-T ta+ d Wdll. X ihrtll Cme wi+K d C^oocl Solu+ioh. X made d Cdr+ooh w^ere +he pohcK lihe 0-T eVer s+nY is "ZooVee Man*/" "Kdrl- wa we vvoulch-t ^e+ boc^ed dowh wi+K havihc^ +0 wri+e c+ul jokes; hd we could cohceh+Td+e oh -the ^>ic+ures. 167 For -the -frs+ cou^le 0-f s+ri^s J X did "the wri+ih^ dhd drew +he chardc+ers, dhc Rowle drew +he boxes arouhd +he ^ic+ures. s+e oh 0 crack, break y0^ monnas bcc? T~

a:

Hey, Timmy, your rno&er slipped ON a

^ananQ pel, and r*-5 s\e s dead.

ZOO-VEE MAMA!

Rovvle s+r+ed con^ldiihih^ +h<*+ Ke dich+ hVe ehou^K +0 do, so X le+ Kin wr+e di -few o-f +he s-h^s. 163 Bu+ +0 te Kohes+ wi+K ou, +here w<xs d re"Hy otvious dro^ ih ^Udli-ty ohce Rowle s+dr+ed doih^ +Ke wrrh'h0.

'E-Veh+Ud ll Hdmd ided dhd X re"Hy nuch le+ Rowle +dke oVer +he w^ole o^>erdi+ioh. X 30+ kihd 0-f sck 0-f +he Zoo-Vee l6<) Ahd tel ieVe i+ or ho+; Rowles drdwih^ skils are worse -thh Kis wri+ih^ skills. /OoPS X s+eppeA puddle.

-V- leOS Vs oc"dpdd le

- y- ay ! 1+ ii an cd pu<Me!

ZOO-WEE MAMA' X +old Rowle mcybe we should cone u wi+h Sone hew icUdS, tu+ he jus+ Wdh+ed +0 kee^> wri+ih^ "Zoo-Vee HdmdS. "Theh Ke his conics hc weh+ home, which Wds -fihe t ne. X doh+ redll Wdh+ +0 te ^r+hered o wi+K d kid w^o doesh + draw hoses; dhwd. Rovvle Ie-f+ es+ercU, X reallv 30+ +0 work oh sorne conics. X Cdine wi+K +tas crdirdic+er callecl Crei^K+oh +Ke Cre+ih; hd X 30+ oh d roll. CREIGHTON THE CRETIN by Greg Heffle HI, MY NO IT ISNT. NAtiE IS CREIGHTON. YOUR NAtiE IS STEWART PID." V >>JL^c AN

171 X mus+ve bdht^ed 0U+ +weh+ s+ri^S; dhd X didh+ eveh bredk A

swed+. I WONDER WWAT s IN THIS CUTE LTTL BOX?

THATS NT A BOX, ITS A BRICK, YOU DUMB MRON*

OOPS. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO PEN IT ALL DAY. DOCTOR, COULD I AVE A NEW BUTT? MY LD ONE HAS A CRACK IN IT.

CREIGHTON, I TOLD YOU MILLlON TIMES, EVERYONES BUTT MAS A CRACK IN IT

OH YEH,I FORGOT. ^redd dbou+ -these Crei^K+oh +Ke Cre+ih comics is +K<*+ wi+K dll +he icio+s ruhhih^ rouhd ry sc^ool; X Vvll HEVER ruh OU+ hew md+eridl. Vsheh X 30+ +0 sc^ool +odd, X +ook ry conics +0 Mr. Xras o-Tice. Hes +he ieacher wKo ruhs school hevvs^d^er. Bu+ wheh X weh+ +0 +urh ry s+ri^s |V\, X SAW +hd+ +here w<xs d ^>ile 0-f conics -from o+her kids who were -trih^ 0U+ -for +he jo>. Mos+ 0-f -the were ^re+y >ad, so X WASh + +00 vvorried bou+ +Ke cone+i+ioh. Grls RULE

by tabtha ctter and lsa rassel dorrt walk nearyeah, youVe our lunch table, not even tyler greeni cute!

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hai grls R.ULE

j>(PAft*y / /* 1____________ . _ lll NI ,0^ (OCH)

Ohe o{ +he conics was Clled "Pont 'lchers/' hd i+ Ws wri++eh t +his kid hned BiII 'Xri-H. Bill is lvvs ih de+eh+ioh, So X 3^ess he has * bohe +0 ^ick wi+h jus+ toui eVer iec^er ih -the school, ihclucihg Hr. Xn*. 17+ So ho+ +00 vvorried tou+ +he c^hces 0-f Bill s connic ^e++ih^ ihj ei+^er.

TV>ere were c+ull ohe or +wo decehi conics ih +^e tih. Bu+ X sli^ec +^en uhder ^ile 0-f ^^ervvork oh Mr. Xras desk. Ho^e-full, ihose ohes woh+ +urh uy oh+il Xh ih school. 'TWsdrtV ^[d, durih^ morhihg hhouhcemeh+s, X 30+ +^e hews X was ho^ihg -for. AND THE NEW CARTNIST FOR THE' SCHOL PAPER IS... GREG HEFFLEY!

T*e ^^er Cme 00+ iod + luhch +ime, hd eVerohe wS redih^ i+. X rell Wh+ed +0 ^ick i> C0 See hme ih ^rih+, bu+ X decided +0 jus+ ^\<x i+ cool for while ihs+ed.

176 X S+ -- +he ehd 0-f +he luhch -tble So i^ere would te ^leVvt 0-f room -for ne +0 s+ar+ si^hih^ +o^r^s -for ry hew /hs. B>LT+ hotod Ws comihg oVer +0 +ell ne how ^re+ ny conic was, hd X s+ar+ed +0 ^e+ -the -feelih0 sone+^ih^ Ws wroh^. X ^rabbed ^^er hd weh+ ih+o +^e t+^roon +0 c^eck i+ oirh Ahd w^eh X SW ry comic, X ^rc-Hcll hd hear+ -H-ck. Hr. Xra +old ne he hrtd mde Sone nihor edi+s +0 ny comic. X +^ou^+ he juS^ he xec s^ellihg mis+kes hd s+u-ff like +h+, t>u+ he +o+rtll tu+c^ered i+. 1fce comic he ruihed Ws ohe 0-f my /Vori+e 0heSj +00. Xh +he orgihl, Crgh+oh +re Cre+ih is +kihg nn+h +es+j hd Ke ccideh+ll e+s i+. A^d +^eh +he iecher ells + v^inn -for beihg such rioroh. Y> +he +ne Hr. Xra WS dohe wi+h 'r, ou ^rc+icll couldhi reco^hize i+ S +he S ne S-ri^. Creighton the Curious Student Teacher, if X + 43 = 89, then what would X be? by Gregory Heley

Thanks. Kids, if you want to leam more about math, be sure to visit Mr. Humphrey during his office hours. Or visit the library and check out the newly expanded Math and Science section! So ^re"H sure X woh+ te sighih^ u+o^r^s h+ime sooh. TECHERS PET! MARCH yledhesdd He hd Rowle were ehjoihg our ho+ cKocol+e ih +he C-fe+eri wi+K +he res+ 0-f +he ?+rols iod, hd ihere was h hhouhcemeh-- oh +he louds^eker. ROWLEY JEFFERSON, REPORT TO MR. WINSKY'S OmCE mEDIATEL. <0

Rowle weh+ dowh +0 Hr. vlihsks oice.J hd Rowle Cne tmck fi-f--eeh nihu+es l--er, Ke looked ^re-H shkeh UJ>. A^areh+l Hr. vihsk 30+ Cll /rom ^rehi who Sid +he wi+hessed Rowle +errori2.ih^ +he kihder^r+hers wheh Ke was su^^osed +0 te Wlkihg -thep'! home /rom scKool. Mr. vihsk was rell nd t>ou+ i+. 17<? Rowle Sid Hr. vlihsk elled + ^in or t>ou+ +eh mihu+es hd Sid his c+iohS ' disres^ec+ed

ou khow, X +hihk X ni^+jus+ khow w^+ +his is ll boirh LS+ week, Rowle hrtd +0 +ke CU2. durih^ /our+h ^erioc, so X vvlked +he kihder^r+hers home oh ny owh. x+ hd raihed +Krt+ morhih^, hd +^ere were lo+ o{ woms oh +^e sidevvlk. So X deciclecl +0 hVe some -fuh vvi+h +^e kids.

130 Some hei^tor^ood Irtd saw wh+ X was doih^; hd she elled + ne -from her -froh+ ^orc^. x+ wS Mrs. Xrvihe, who is /nehcs wi+h Rovvles non. S^e mus+ hVe +^ou^+ X was Rowle, because X was borrovvih^ his C0+. Ahd X wash+ boir- +0 correci her, ei+^er. /ROWLE JEFFERSON, / THE PRINCIPAL IS 1 GOING TO WEAR V^BO TMIS!

im IIII l1^ X -for^o+ toui +^e whole ihcideh+ uh+il iod. Ahvv, Hr. vlihsk +old Rowle hes 301hg +0 hVe +0 ^olo^ize +0 +he kihder^r+hers +onorrow morhihg, hd +h+ Kes sus^ehded /rom ?+rols for A week. 131 X khew X should ^robbl jus+ +ell Hr. vlihsk i+ wS ne who chSed +he kics wi+h +he worns. Bui X wSh+ red +0 se+ +^e record s+r;^h+ jos+ e+. X khew i-f X coh-fessecL Xd lose n ho+ chocol+e ^rivileges. Ahd +^+ nghi ihere Ws ehou^h +0 nnce ne kee^ cUei -for +^e +ine beihg. A+ dihher +ohi^+; Hon could +ell Some+hih^ Ws bo+herih0 ne, so s^e Cdirne i> "to roon -f+erwr<J +0 +lk. X +ol<i her X was ih +003 h si+u-hoh, hd X <iidh+ khow wh+ +0 do. X 30+ +0 ^ive Hon cre<i+ -for how s^e hrthdled i+. she <Ji<Jh+ +r +0 ^>r hd ^e+ ll +^e cU+ils. Alt she Srticl was +hrt+ X should +r +0 do +^e ' ri^+ +hiV>3> because i+s our c^oices +h+ nike us who we are.

132 X iiyurt +Ws ^re-H deceh+ dvice. X ri s-hll ho+ 100% Su re w^+ 301^3 +0 do +ororrow. 'TVmrsdrtv vlell, X was u^> ll hi^+ +ossihg hd +urhihg oVer +his Rowle si+u+ioh, t>u+ X /hll nde ny nihd. X decided +^e n3^ +^1^3 +0 do was +0 jus+ le+ Rowle +ke ohe -for +he +em +^is +ine rouhd.

Oh +he Wy home -fron sc^oo, X Cne cleh vvi+h Rowle hc

+old Kim +^e whole +ru+h boir- w^+ h^ehed, hd how i+ was ne who c^Sed +^e kids wi+h +he worms. 133 *TV>eh X +old K in +here were lessohs we could to+K learh rom +Kis. X +old Kin X learhed +0 te more Crtre-ful rttou+ wKrt+ X do ih -froh+ 0-f Mrs. Xrvihes house, rthd +Krt+ Ke learhed rt Vrtlurttle lessoh, +00; wKicK is +Kis- Be Crtre-ful rtboirl" wKo ou lehd our COA+ +0. -'T^ I \ l II i seem tocrt, i)u+ Ke Srtid Ke wrtS jt(S+ ^oihc +0 CJ0 Kone rthd +rtke rt hrt^. X couldh+ rertll tlrtne Kin. Becrtuse i-f X didh + KrtVe ny Ko+ cKocolrt+e +M'S morhih^, X wouldh + KrtVe hrtd nucK eherqy, ei+Ker.

13H VKeh X 30+ home, Hon wrtS Wrti+ih^ -for ne rt+ +Ke -froh+ door. /dd YOUDON ( THE RIGHT V TUING? y (YEAM!

Hon +ook ne 00+ +0 <je+ sone ice crertm rtS rt s^ecirtl +rert+. wKrt+ +M'S wKole e^isode KrtS --rtu^M" ne is +Krt+ eVer ohce ih rt v^Kile^ i+s ho+ sucK rt trtd idert +0 lis+eh +0 our mo+her.

135 'lesd a "Tkere Wrts rtho+Ker rthhouhceneh+ oh +he louds^ertlcer rthd +0 te Kohes+ wi+K yoo, X kihd o figured +his Ohe wrtS conih^. GREG MEFFLEY, PLEASE REPORT T MR. WlNSKYS OmCE. s\pppp.

X khew i+ wrtS jus+ rt nrt-H-er 0-f +ine te-fore X 30+ tus+ed wee for w^rt+ k* VKeh X 30+ +0 Mr. vihsk s okt, Ke wrts rertll mrtd. Mr. vihsk +old ne +hrt+ rth rthohnous source Krtd ih-formed Kin +hrt+ X Wrts +he rertl O/I^n-I" ih +Ke worn-cKrtSih^ ihcideh-K *TV\eh Ke +old ne X WrtS relieVed 0-f ny Srt-fe-t prt+rol du+ies ' e-f-fec+ive immedirt+el. 136 vell, i+ doesh + +rtke rt de+ec+ive +0 -figure. oir|- +hrt+ +Ke rthohynous source wrts Rowley. X Crth+ telieVe Rowle weh+ rthd brtccs+rtbbed ne like +Krt+.

VsKile X wrts si-|~hYuj +Kere cje+-hYuj cKewed 0U+ t Mr. vihs|c> X wrts +Kihki^> X heed +0 renenter +0 ^ive ny -fnehd rt lec+ure rttou+ lortl-t.

Ldt+er oh +ocU, Rowle 30+ reihs+rt+ed rtS rt prt+rol. A^d cje+ +Kis He Ac+Urtll CJ0+ rt PROriOTlON. Mr. vihsk Srtid Rowle Krtd "exKiti+ed di^hi-t uhder -rtlse susicioh." ou<jh+ rttou+ rertll le-Hih^ Rowle KrtVe i+ for rrt-Hih^ ne 0U+ like -thrt-l-, tu+ +Keh X rertliz.ed sone+Kih^. Xh Juhe, rtll +Ke officers ih +Ke Srt-fe-t prt+rols op oh rt +n' +0 Six V\^s, rthd +Ke ^e+ +0 +rtke rtloh^ ohe -Triehd. X heed +0 nirtke sure Rowle khows Xn Kis 3<y. LET ME GET TMIS FOR ou, CAPTAIN"?

'lesda Like X Srtid te-fore, +Ke wors+ 3e'H',h3 cicked o Srt-fe-t prt+rols is losih^ our Ko+ chocolrt+e pnv.leges. E-Ver morVMh^, X op +0 +Ke Wk door 0-f +Ke Crt-fe+erirt so Rowle Crth hoolc ne 133 ei+her ny -fnehd KrtS ^ohe dert-f or Kes +00 tus cissih^ +Ke O+Ker oicers birtts +0 ho+ice ne <*"! "i"Kc wihdow. P55T^ PSST ' ' *> \^

l&

0 Ih -fdic+; how +Krt+ X +Ki^k o i+> Rowle KrtS teeh TOTALLY ^ivih^ ne +Ke cold sKoulder Irt+el. A^d +Krt+S rertll Idtme, tecrtuse i{ X recrtll correc-H, HE* s +Ke ohe +Krt+ sold ME o. B-Veh +houcjh Rowle hrts teeh rt +0+A jerk u+elj X +ried +0 trertk +Ke ice wi+h Kin -todrt, rthw<y. Bu+ eVeh THAT didh + seem +0 work. APRIL FricUy E-Ver sihce +Ke worn ihcideh+> Rowle \\(XS teeh hrthcjihcj 00+ wi+K Collih Lee eVer drt rt-f+er scKool. VKrt+ rertll s+ihks is +Krt+ Collih is su^sed +0 te MY Wcu -riehd. ll\ose gus rtre rtc+ih^ -to+rtll ndicoloos. 'ldrt, Rowle rthd Collih were wertrih^ +hese ndi+cKih^ ^T-sKir+s; rthd i+ mde ne jus+ rttocrt Wrth+ +0 Voni+.

AT+er dihher -tohic^-h X SrtW Rowle rthd Collih Wrtlki^ c/^ +Ke MI +o^e+Ker> cKunnih^ i+ u^. lto Collih hrtd Kis oVerhicjh+ krtc, so khew +Ke were ^oih^ +0 do rt slee^oVer rt+ Rowles. X +Kou^K+> vell, +wo Crth ^rt TWAT ^rtne. *TVe tes+ Wrt +0

op\ trtcc rt+ Rowle wrtS +0 op\ rt hew tes+ -fnehd 0-f ny 0Wh. Bu+ uh-or+uhrt+el, +Ke ohl erso'r' w^ Crtne +0 mihd ri^K+ A+ +Ka+ noneh+ wrtS re^le. X weh+ i> +0 re^les wi+K ny oVerhi<jh+ trt^ so Rowle could see X hrtd O+Ker triehd o^+iohS; +00. v^eh X 30+ -there, re^le Wrts ih Kis -froh+ ard s+rtttih^ rt ki+e wi+h rt s+icc. *TVrt+s w^eh X s+rtr+ed +0 +Kihk mrtbe +M'S WrtSh+ +Ke tes+ idert rt-f+er rtll. PANT PANT p/^T

Birt- Rowle wrtS ih his -froh+ dtrcL rthd \\t wrtS Wrt+chihcj ne. So X khew +Kere Wrts ho -k/rhihcj trtck. X ihVi+ed nsel-T ih+o re^les Kouse. H'S Srtid s\\t wrtS exci+ed +0 see re^le wi+K rt "lama+e/ wKicK wrtS rt +ern X Wrts ho+ +00 eh+KusirtS+ic rtbotrh

He rthd re^le weh+ u e +ried +0 cje+ me +0 ^U Twis+er wi+K him, so X nrtde sure X s+rted +eh -fee+ rtw<\ fron 1mV> rt+ rtll +ines. os+dtirs +0 ftis room. X decided +Krt+ X sKould jtS+ ^ ^ +Kis s+uid idert rthd op Kone. Bu+ eVery +ine X looked 0U+ +Ke v^ihdov/^ Rowle rthd Collih were s+ill ih Rowles -froh+ ard. 1<?2 X didh + Wrth+ +0 lertVe uh+il +v>se ^os weh+ trtck ihsice. B>ir+ +hihcjs s+rtr+ed +0 cje+ 0U+ o Krthd wi+K re^le re'fr't ^uiclcl. VKeh X WrtS Ioo|ciVv0 0U+ +Ke wihdow, re^le troke ih+o ny trtcc^^k Ahd drte +Ke wKole bg o jell terths X Krtd ih +Kere. xe^les ohe o +Kese kids wKos ho+ su^osed +0 ert+ rth su^rtr, so +wo mihir|-es Irt+er, Ke wrtS bouhcihcj off +Ke Wrtlls.

' V ^ s

s\

\ oo \*oo Vregle s+rtr+ed rtc+ih^ like rt +o+rtl nirthirtc, rthd Ke cKrtsed ne rtll rtrouhd Kis u^s+rtirs. X ke^+ +hih|cih<3 Ke wrtS ^oih^ +0 come dowh o-ff 0-f his su^rtr tu+ Ke didh+. E-Veh+Urtll, X locked mysel-f ih Kis trt+Kroon +0 Wrti+ Kin 0U+. 1^3 Arouhd 11-30, i+ 30+ <^oie+ 00+ ih +he hrtllwrt. "T^a+S wKeh recle sli^ed rt ^iece 0-f ^a^er Uhder +he door.

^ear Grc^or, IV very sorry X ccised oo w-4i a ^oojer on rny foger. Here, I + on -his popr 50 you cn g+ rne back. +

m 'ThrtVs +^e las+ +^ih^ X renenter te-fore X blrtcked 01+. X Crtme +0 py sehses rt -few ^ours Irt+er. X woke 11^, X cracked +^e door Ahd X^ertrd e^les roon. So X decided +0 mrtke rt roh -for i+. r ^e-H'h^ . B>1+ t +K**+ oih+, X could reall care less. Hon rthd prtd were ho+ wi+K rne-fo ; +hen 00+ 0-C ted rt+ 2 00 ih +he morhihq Shorihq co ni ha -fron Fr Mohda Vslell, ne rthd Rowle haVe o-f/'ciall teeh exfriehds for rtt>ou+ rt no h+h how, rthd +0 te 'iohes+ V^i+^ ou, X te+ier o-f-f wi+'iou+ ^in. X X Crth jis+ do v^rt+eVer X Wrth+ wi+Kou+ haVihc +0 worr rt)oi/+ carrihc all +^rt+ dertd wei<jK+ arouhd. Lrt+el Xve teeh ^rth^ih^ 00+ ih Rodrick s roon a-f+er sc^ool rthd 3oih0 -t^rou<jK v's s-hrff. ^TV>e o+her d, X -ouhd ohe 0-f vs middle scKool earboolcs.

Rodrick wro+e oh eVertods lC^re ih Ws earbook, so oo crth +ell ^ow ^e -fel+ rtboi>+ rtll +^e kids ih v's ^rade. 1%

'E-Ver ohce ih rt wvle, X see Rodricks old classmrt+es arouhd +owh. X tave +0 renenter +0 +hdhk Rodrick -for mrtkih0 c^urch rt lo+ more ih+eres+ihcj.

B>1+ rt3e ^odricks earbook +'trt+S reall ih+eres+ih^ is +he ClrtSS 1"rtVori+es 3e'ThrtVs w^ere +^e lC^ores kilsw^* ^e+ Vo+ed Mos Po^lar Ahd Mos+ "Ileh+ed dhd rtll +^rt+. 1*77 Rodrick wro+e oh vs ClrtSS "rtVori+es rt3e' ^00* MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED

Bill Watson Kathy Nguyen ou khow, +M'S ClrtSS "rtVori+es^rtSreall ^0+ ny ^ears +urhihcj. ou Crth ^e+ oirsel-f Vo+ed oh+o ClrtSS "rtVori+es oure ^ac+ically Ah immor+rtl. 'E-Veh i-f ou doh + live +0 wna+ oo 30+ ^lcked -for, ;+ doesh+ reall mrt-H'er, becrtuse i+s oh errr>rt'ne'n^ record.

Peo^e s+il +rea+ B>ill Vslrt+Soh like ^es Sone+^ih^ eveh ^e ehded dro'^3 0Lrt Ki^K sc^ool. \.% Vsle s+ill ruh ih+o ^in rt+ ^ood Barh eVery ohce ih rt w^ile. /WILL THATBE\ PAPER OR \PLASTIC, riAAti?/

So ^eres w^rt+ Xn +^ihkih^- "TViis sc^ool ear ^rtS teeh kihd 0-f rt )1>S+, to+ 'rf X Crth ^e+ Vo+ed as rt ClrtSS ^rtVori+e, XII OO 00+ oh rt Ki^K ho+e. X Ve teeh +ryihcj +0 +vhk 0-f rt Crt+e^ory X ha Ve rt s^o rt+. Mos Po^ulrtr rthd M0S+ A+l^le+ic rtre de-fihi+el 0U+, so Xn ^oih^ +0 ^rtVe +0 /ihd Some+vh^ +'irtVs rt li-hHe ti+ nore ih reacv A+ -firs+ X +1^00^+ mabe X s^oold wear reall hice clo+^es for +^e res+ 0-f t(Xr So X Crth ^e+ B>es+ Pressed. +'irt+ woold merth X woold ^rtVe +0 ^e+ n ^ic+ore +rtkeh wi+^ Jehhrt s+ewar+, rthd s^e dresses like rt Pil^rim.

vledhesda LrtS+ hi^K+ X was l'^3 ih bed; Ahd i+ Ki+ ft>e; X s^ould op for ClrtSS Clowh. x+s ho+ like X n khowh -for t>eih0 rertl -fuhh rt+ sc^ool or rth+vh^; t)0+ i-f X Crtho-f-f ohe t>i^ ^rahkt>e-fore Vo+ih^, +K*+ coold do i+.

iAY ^Korsda ^drt X Ws irih^ +0 iurt 00+ how X was ^oih^ +0 Sheak rt +'nnt+rtck oh+o Mr. Vslor+^s c^rtir ih His+ory w^eh he Srtid some+^ih^ +ha+ mrtde ne re+^ihk py fUh. Mr. VJor+K +old Is ^e ^rtS rt deh+is+s A|>oin+meir+ +omorrow, So were 301h^ +0 ^rtVe rt sots+i+o+e. Sots are like comic ^old. oo Crth S jts+ rtboi>+ rth+Kih^ ou wah+, rthd ou cah+ cje+ ih rootle.

GREG WEFFLEY, WILL YOU PLEASE DO THIS PROBLEti? EXCUSE ME? WELL, I HARDLY .THINK THAT S... YOUR AMA! =][=; YOUR BIG ,FANNY GRANNY YOUR SLAP- HAPPY GRANDPAPPY*

/, door, utSS w^o +^e subs+i+u+e +ec^er WS? -f ll +^e ^eo^)le ih +^e world +0 be our Sut> S^e used +0 be ohe 0-f +^0Se ^>reh+s w^o Cme ih +0 ^el^) 0U+ ih +^e classroom. Bu+ +'i+ ll c^h^ed -pter Mon Voluh+eered +0 be c^^erohe -for our /eld +ri^ +0 +^e z.00 w^eh X was ih +hird ^rade.

71

Mon rertred sor+s 0-f mrt+erirtl +0 ^el^ t'S kids rtreort^e d'fei'eh+ exvbi+s, to+ rtll rthohe Wrth+ed +0 do was wrt+c^ +^e rthimrtls op +0 bd+^room. (UEE HEE HEE HEE?) kfr r *S) . HELEPHANTS

AysY/A, Mon +o+rtll /oiled r\ flah +0 wih ClrtSS Clowh. X jts+ luck ^eres ho+ rt crt+e^or Crtlled B>i(^es+ MrtmrtS >oy, becrtuse rt-f+er +od(y, T wih +hrt+ ohe ih rt Irthdslide.

YU FORGOT UR LUNCH AT HOME! 203 yledhesdmv n* schoo rter crtrne 00^ A^rtih +oda. X <^ti+ m joi) AS school car+oohis+ a-f+er ' Cre^+oh +he Curious s+udeh+ Crtme 00+, rthd X didtrvt reall care who +he ^0 re^rtce r,e* Bu+ eVeryohe was laghih<3 A+ comics rt3e luhch, so X 'cke< A co?y see WrtS so fuhh. Ahd w^eh X oeheo

i+ X couldh + i)elieVe m ees. T/a:::~|gRg> i&SB&t*' r 1+ was Zoo-Vsee Mrtrnrt. Ahd 0-f courst Hr. X' didh + c^rth^e sihgle WORD 0-f Rowles s+ri^. Zoo-Wee Mama v\ey Iseau+i^ lady do 70U watC+ +0 3 on G aa+e wi+h me? by Rowley Jefferson

am no+ a ady X arr> jus+ One of +Kos dys \rti+h lon3 Kair 50 no +Kanks +0 -vhq+ date

204 So how Rowles ^e++ih^ rtll +he -rtme si>oSed +0 be rnihe. w as

E-Veh +he +eachers are kissih^ Rowles i>u++. X rtlmos+ los+ m luhch w^eh Hr. vor+h droe<l his c^rtlk ih H'S+r class

20 5

comic we Crtme L wi+h +o^e+^er. X -i^ored +^e leas+ could do was fu+ m hrtme oh +he s+ri^ AS +^e cocrea+or. So X weh+ 1> +0 Rowle rt-f+er school ahd +old him +U+S w^rt+ was ^ohhrt ^rtVe +0 do. Bu+ o I .I<<-} \ I KA IIIITC .I

kids rt+ m schoo are ALWAYS i+chihg +0 see He rthd Rowle +ried +0 Wrtlk awa, i>u+ +hose ^us wereh+ 301hg +0 le+ us 30 uh+il +^e saw us +hrow some ^hches. Xve heVer teeh ih rertl te-forej so X <Wh'+ khow how X was su^osed +0 s+rthd or hold m is+s or rth+^ih^. Ahd ou could +ell Rowle didh+ khow W^A+ was doih<3 ei+her, becrtuse jus+ s+ar+ed ^rrthcih^ arouhd like le^rechrtuh.

X was sure X could +rtke Rowle ih <x i)u+ +^e +^ih^ +hrt+ mrtde me hervous was +he f*c+ +hrt+ Rowle +rtkes kara+e. X doh+ khow W^A+ kihd 0-f hocus-^ocus +^e +each ih Rowles kara+e classes, tu+ +he AS+ +^ih^ X heeded Wrts or ^im +0 lay me 00+ ri 3^+ +r>ere oh +r>e tlack+oo. 207 Be-fore me or Rowle rnrtde moVe, +^ere was screechih<3 Souhd ih school ^arkih^ O+. A iuhch 0-f +eehgers s+0ed +Keir +ruck 1 Ahd +^e s+ar+ed 'l'^3 OL/+. X was jts+ ^drl eVerohes rt++eh+ioh was oh +^e +eehrt^ers ihs+ertd 0-f me rthd Rowle. B>u+ rtll +^e o+^er kids +ook off w^eh +^e +eehgers s+ar+ed headih^ our Wrt*

Ahd +heh X realized +hrt+ +^ese +eehrt^ers looked aw-full familiar. 'TV\r|-S w^eh i+ me. ^ese were +^e Srtme ^us who chased rne rthd Rowlev arouhd oh H*oweeh hi<^+, rthd +^e had -ihrtll

cau<^h+ u wi+h us. 208 B>u+ i>e-fore we could rnrtke <x ruh -for +J we hrtd our arms >cKiVkJ our Wks. "Those Wrth+ed +0 +each us lessoh -for +rtuh+ih^ +^em oh ^alloweeh hK^+j rthd +^e s+ar+ed ar^uih^ oVer +^eshould do wi+hus.

B>u+ +0 i>e hohes+ wi+h yoLj X was mo re cohcerhed eese was ohly -few fee+ -rom w^ere we were s+rthdihg oh +^e t>lrtck+0; rthd i+ Wrts lookh^ has+ier +^rth ever.

rti)ou+ some+^ih else. "The Ch 2Cfl "The i)i^ +eehger mus+ hrtVe Crtu^+ m ee, tecause +^e hex+ +hiVu3 X kheWj Wrts lookih^ rt+ +^e C^eese^ +00. Ahd X 3uess 3rtVe ^,rn +^e idea he was lookih^ -for. Rowle <^0+ sih^led 0U+ -firs+. "The i)i^ kd ^ratted Rowle <x HoWj X doh+ Wrth+ +0 SA exac+l wh*+ hA^ehed hex+. Because i Rowle ever +ries +0 ruh -for ?resideh+ rthd someohe -ihds 0U+ w^rt+ +^ese gus rnrtde him do, he woh + hrtVe c^rthce. hd draaed Kim oVer +0 +he Cheese. X khew +^e were ^ohhrt rnrtke me do +J +00. X s+ar+ed +0 f<mic, because X khew X wash+ 301h^ +0 i>e ai)le +0 <3^+ rn Wcy 0U+ 0-f -+tas si+ua+ioh. So X did some -fas+ +rtlkiV\<3 ihs+ead.

I WOULD, BUT I'M ALLERGIC TO DAIRY!

Ahd belieVe i+ or ho+, i+ rtc+urtll worked

211 X 3uess +ee'rw*3ers were sa+is-ied +he ^rtd rnrtde +^eir 0'h+J because rt-f+er +^e mrtde Rowle -ihish o-f-f +^e res+ o{ +he Cheese, +he le+ us OO. "Tta 30+ i>ack ih +^eir +ruck Ahd +ook o-f-f dowh +^e rortd. He rthd Rowle ohe 0-f us reall X +hogh+ rti)ou+ meh-Kohihg +0 Rowle +^rt+ mai>e could hrtVe ^lled 0U+ rt cou^le o \)is kara+e moVes Wk +here, i)u+ Some+hihg +old me +0 hold o oh +hrt+ +^ou^+ -for ri<^+ how. walked home +o^e+her. B>u+ hei+ber Srtid rthv+^ih^ oh +^e Wcx Mck. SHUODR
SHODDER

esddV A+ school +0<cy, +^e +eachers e+ Ls ou+side rt-+er luhch. x+ +ook ai>ou+ -five secohds or someohe +0 realiz.e +he c^eese was missihg -rom i+s s^0+ oh +^e black+o*

E-Veri)od crow<W arouhd +0 look A+ w^ere +^e C^eese used +0 i)e. Mobod could believe i+ was ac+urtll OOY\t. peo^le s+ar+ed conihg L wi+h +^ese craz. +heories rti)ou+ w^rt+ ^rte'r'e<^ Sometod said mcyi>e +^e c^eese ^rew lgs rthd walked awcy. +ook all ry sel-f-coh+rol +0 kee^> ry noo+K sKu+. Ahd i-f Rowle wash + s+ahdihcj there, X hohes+l doh+ khow i-f X could haVe ke^>+ <^uie+. MMFf V

A cou^le 0-f -+he <yjS who were arcjuihcj oVer wha+ ha^ehed +0 -+he c^eese were -+he same ohes who were e33|'r'3 rie ahd Rowle oh es+erda A-f-|-erY\00h. So X khew i+ wash+ <)oih<j +0 te Iohcj te-fore someohe +wo Ahd +wo +o^e+^er ahd -f^ured 0U+ +ha+ we nus+ have had some+Kih<j +0 do wi+'\ i+. Rowle was s+ar-hhcj +0 ^ahic, ahd X doh + blame him, ei+^er. Xf -+he +ru+K ever came 00+ ai>ou+ how +he Cheese disa^eared, Rowle would te -Tihis^ed. have +0 moVe 00+ 0-f +he s+rt+e, ahd nabe eVeh -+he couh+ry. 214 W^eh X decided +0 s^eak X +old eVerohe -+ha+ X khew wha+ ha^ehed +0 -the C^eese. X said X was sick 0-f i+ i>eihcj oh +he black+o^; Ahd X jts+ decided +0 cje+ rid crf i+ ohce rthd -for all. Vor a secohd -there, eVerohe jos+ -froz.e. X +houcjh+ ^>eo^>le

were ^oih^ +0 s+ar+ -thahkiV^ ne -for wha+ X did, tu+ bo, was X wrohcj. X reall wish X had worded ry s+or a li++le di-f-fereh+l. Because 'rf X +^rew awa -the cheese, ^uess wha+ neah+? meah+-+ha+ X have +he C^eese 'luch.

N> (-* ' 5 0 o A t t/1 3- 9 +S" O- _ c' 0 - ' o o 5

 5 V-\ /( r* < 3 r -d <st C > 7 0^ 3 k > v-\ <w r o c /} r u o 5 ? o c_ 2- : _ -o a 3 2 . :+ ^r- j (V :+- ^ lr-o o o n Cn _o 5 5 o n> c o v-\

< r> (V 50 "5 r ?r\ ki 5r *? i o 5 ? U o . cr- < % e-C umm 31 o In y? 5 gim - rU

3 rr" fl r & / > C 4/ 5r' t 3 C ( 70 r o f

7T c 5 4- y' l . rr ' " n> y' 3' n i/ i/ 5r "5 n> r* o~ o 4o w /

X -o -o n> o '

+ f C n> * O - t +* 5r' 3" o to C c 43 4- v& V-\ ? \ r o C <w c n> r ir in i -+ rr rr* - 4- 3' -- n> O * JUNE X -fli^ed +0 +he Class ^aVori+esahd heres -the ^ic+ure -+ha+ was wai+ih<j -for ne. CLASS CLOWN

Rowley Jefferson All X trth SA Sj 'rf ahohe wah+s a -free earbook 1 +he cah di<3 ohe 00+ 0-f -the -trash cah ih -the back 0-f -the ca-feteria. You khow, Rowle cah have Class Clowh -for all X care. Bu+ i-f Ke ever ^e+s +00 t>icj -for his tri+c^es J X II jus+ remihd Kin +ha+ Ke was -the cjuy who a+e ____ _______ ACKNOWLEDGMENTS There are many people who helped bring this book to life, but four individuals deserve special thanks: Abrams editor Charlie Kochman, whose advocacy for Diary of a Wimpy Kid has been beyond what I could have hoped for. Any vvriter would be lucky to have Charlie as an editor. Jess Brallier, who understands the povver and potential of Online publishing, and helped Greg Heffley reach the masses for the first time. Thanks especially for your friendship and mentorship. Patrick, who was instrumental in helping me improve this book, and who wasnt araid to tell me vvhen a joke stunk. My wife, Julie, without whose incredible support this book would not have become a reality. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Jeff Kinney is the creator of Poptropica.com. He spent his childhood in the VVashington, D.C., area and moved to New England in 1995. Jeff lives in Southern Massachusetts with his wife, Julie, and their two sons, Will and Grant.

mous ohe morohs riORONS 9 "7808 1 0*9931 31 Being a kid can really stink. nd no one knows this better than Greg Heffley, who fnds himself thrust into middle school, where

undersized vveaklings share the hallways with kds who are taller, meaner, and already shaving. In Dary of a Wimpy Kid, author and illustrator Jeff Kinney ntroduces U5 to an unlikely hero. 5 Greg says n his diary: Luckily for us, what Greg Heffley says he wont do and what he actually does are two very different things. Jus+ doh+ ex^ec-t ne +0 i)e rtll Pear Piry +Kis hd "Vear Vir" 5^2 Amolet Bo An imprint of Harry N. Abrams, Inc. 115 West lth Street New York, NY 10011 www.amuletbooks.com Pr-k* ! k u.s.i. www.wimpykid.com U.S. $12.95 Can. $14-50 U.K. 7.95 ISBN: 978-0-8109-9313-6