The Mailbox Daily Journal Prompte-TEC3169 112

Analysis of Writing Sample 1

Submitted By: Eldon Hinck Student (name removed): 5th grade student Date: 3/19/2014

The student who wrote this piece is a 5th grader, female, lower level learner in the area of reading and writing and math. Her cursive handwriting is above the others in her class, but I have not performed an actual handwriting assessment on her or the other classmates. This is just an observation that I have made while looking at various students work. This student has an interest in fashion, has a great attitude and loves coming to school. Her social skills are good, she says please and thank you, and youre welcome when someone says thank you. Her behavior in school and the classroom are good, she does not blurt out answers to questions, and raises her hand when she wants to ask or answer questions. This writing piece is dated 2-20-2014. There is not a title, this was an assignment to write a paragraph or two about how it would be to be blind. The students had just finished a story from their Anthology book talking about a guide dog for a blind man. This writer has gone through the pre-conventional stage but has not totally reached the independent point of writing. If age was all that was used for placement on the developmental continuum, she would be between the bridging and fluent writing stages. But, since we know that not all children develop at the same pace, age is not all we use for assessments. This writer appears to be in the beginning stage of the developmental continuum. The following example supports my belief: If I was blind the hard thing would be. In order for the writer to be fluent, the punctuation must be correct, and with a period after the word be, this does not allow an even flow, and the sentence does not make since. The next line reads Riding my bike and cook. The capital is good, if this were actually the start of a new sentence. The word cook should read cooking, and again hinders the fluency of the paper. These are examples from the first two sentences, and the reason I feel this student is still in the beginning stages of writing. Using the 6 traits, Sentence Fluency, I could give her a 1 because of the statement Short, choppy sentences bump the reader through the text. This is seen with the last two or three sentences that read: Want to go across the street and theres a car right there. Also it will be with you. Even if your taking a shower. While using the 6 traits, under the Idea Development section, I could rate this a 3 by using General, global information provides the big picture-and makes the reader long for specifics. The writing is clearly talking

about guide dogs for the blind, and how they can get you a towel when you are getting out of the shower, or helping you get across a street. She writes I could get a dog guide and teach it to get the food together. Also I could teach it how to help me get my stuff together. The Conventions category, of the 6 traits, was basically covered in the top paragraph of this paper by pointing out the incorrect use of punctuation. With all the examples, and assessments used, I feel that this student is still in the beginning stages of the writing developmental continuum.