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Maria Vazquez Senior Capstone, Period 1st Ms. Frank Domestic Violence Domestic violence is a behavior of one person a relationship that takes control over the other person. Many people have no idea about this issue. When someone hits, threats, abuse, intimidates, or even isolates in a relationship is most likely symptoms of Domestic violence. Some people think this behavior is normal in a relationship and some just let happen even though they know what's going on. Domestic violence is a really serious problem that shouldn't be ignored because it can lead to homicide or suicide. Domestic violence is associated as an issue that women go through but its not always the case. Men also go through domestic violence. Besides that both men and women are scared or ashamed to get help there for they remain silent. Domestic violence should be stopped and more people should be helped because many men and woman get abuse or killed and are scared to get help. Domestic violence is a serious problem that many people experienced, suffered and even cause them death. It doesnt matter the gender, age, religion, culture, or education." Domestic violence has different forms for example; physical, emotional, sexual, economic and psychological abuse".(Catalano, Shannon). Physical abuse is when a person attempts to harm for example; hits, slaps, bites, burns, punch, and kicks.. Emotional abuse is when a person insults or criticizes in any way with harmful or harsher words that makes victim feel useless or meaningless. It could also mean name calling or giving the silent treatment or making feel guilty. Sexual abuse is when someone beats in certain parts of your body then after words the
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person will force him or her to have sex, either alone or with other people. Economic abuse is when a worker works none stop to get paid and by the end of the week, the abuser comes around looking for victim to take you money away. The last one is called psychological abuse where the abuser threatens to harm, pets, or family; it could also lead to property damage or kidnapping children. In domestic violence there's a cycle of abuse that involves certain steps. First is abuse, where it causes violent behavior, aggression, and it sends out a message to the person to tell who is the boss. Then after that it leads to guilt, where the abuser now feels guilty and is worried he might get caught and suffers the consequences for his or her behavior. The third one is excuses, its "when the abuser rationalizes what he or she has done, and he or she may come up to you with excuses or blames you for the abusive behavior. Leading after that is normal behavior, when the abuser now wants to regain control and keeps the victim in the relationship, he or she may act like nothing has happened, next he might charm you with his words and give a lecture on how he might change this time. Second to the last is fantasy and planning, this is when your abuser fantasizes about abusing again and spends a lot of time thinking about what was done wrong and how he'll make the victim pay and will find a way to make the abuse real" (Firth, Shannon). The last one is called set up, this sets up and puts his or her plans in motion creating a situation where he can abuse you. Many people dont know that domestic violence is a crime. Some states define domestic violence as a distinct crime. Distinct crime is recognize different in nature from something else thats the same. "For example, a conviction of a crime of domestic violence it is an automatic mandatory jail sentence and a restraining order. On top of that the judges order abusers to be in therapeutic counseling"(Sara, Berman). Judge gives 3 years in jail for domestic violence. This
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process goes to both men and women. Also there is a way to be protect by the police in case the abuser wants to harm the victim again once out of jail. In order for it to happen, victims must go to court and secure a protective order which prohibits the abuser from coming into contact with or being close proximity to 500 feet the domestic violence victim. Also a protection order can stop the person from hurting you or your children, order the abuser to get help with counseling, and keep children in victims care. Besides protection," the federal gun control law makes it a crime for people who have been convicted of crimes involving domestic violence to own guns." (Sara, Berman) Furthermore, domestic violence can be the purpose of health problems. It affects millions of people and often results in physical and emotional injuries and even deaths. Several people fall for unhealthy eating, drug use, and suicidal behaviors. Domestic violence is associated with mental health problems such as anxiety, traumatic stress disorder, sexually transmitted diseases, and depression. Woman who are abused suffer risk of unplanned or early pregnancies. This is not only for adults but for teens as well. It is possible that teens can go through domestic violence and can be effected in the future. Most likely they become sufferers of intimate partner violence as adults." Domestic violence has killed woman and men aged 15-44 worldwide, act of violence cause more deaths and disability than cancer, malaria, traffic accidents, and war combined." (Margaret, Martin) Woman isnt the only ones who struggle over domestic violence. Men are also victims believe it or not. One out of seven men and one out of four women go through domestic violence. This is something that several people dont know. Woman can also be the abuser in this issue. Several men are likely to feel ashamed, isolated, guilty and confused about the situation. Men are physically stronger than woman but that doesnt make it easier to escape the violence.
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Same process as woman, men gets hit, kick, bit, spit, slap or destroy belongings. She may also use weapons or attack while sleeping or by surprise. Threats and harm is likely to occur. Now, men are less likely to report abuse to the police because they are embarrassed or fear that they won't be believed. Abused men find it hard to leave the abuser and same goes to women. They feel stuck in the relationship because of their children ,feel ashamed ,religious beliefs or lack of resources. Steps to deal with an abusive partner. First, leave if possible, never retaliate; don't hurt the abuser you may get arrested, get evidence of the abuse; record dates, time, and any witnesses. Also keep a cellphone, evidence of the abuse, and other important documents close at hand. For example, pictures of the injuries go to the doctor and get it documented. Last, obtain advice from a domestic violence program or order of protection against abuser. Domestic violence and abuse can have a serious and dangerous physical and psychological impact on both partners and children. "3.3 million and 10 million children in the U.S are exposed to domestic violence each year and more than a decade of empirical studies indicates that this exposure can have significant negative effects on children's behavioral, emotional, social, and cognitive development." (Salcedo, Lucy) Children that see domestic violence occur at home are also victims. Statistics say children exposure to domestic violence have chances to end up being an abuser when they grow up into an adult. It's like their parents story all over again. Children in families in which domestic violence has occurred are 6 to 15 times more likely to be abused than those who are not. Trauma is something children go through when domestic violence is exposure. Trauma is any experiences that poses physical and psychological threats that causes them an extreme fear. In result children believes that its okay to hurt or to get hurt by someone you love. Also children start blaming themselves for the violence. "Behaviors seen in domestic violence exposed children; lack of confidence, excessive

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tiredness, headaches, stomachaches, outbursts of anger, bullying or aggression, sadness, eating problems/eating disorders, self harming, use drugs, school truancy, run away and even suicidal thoughts or actions."(Salcedo, Lucy) When a women is going though domestic violence is not their fault. The truth is that many woman in abusive relationships have a great inner strength including children. the abuser may say that your wrong or that they wont hurt you being abuse is not your fault. What women that are suffering this global issue should do is get help before is to late. There are several choices one is contact a women's shelter for more information and support. Second, attend domestic violence survivor support group. Third seek counseling and go stay with family or friends. Lastly take legal action. Same goes to men, seeking help doesnt mean you have failed as a man. Nobody is weak, there is always help no matter the gender. Counseling, therapy, and support groups for domestic violence survivors can help move on from an abusive relationship. Men are the most unexpected persons to be in this issue but they are many men going through the same issue. Domestic violence is an global issue that many women and men suffer through it. This conflict can actually scar people for life or even ruin one's life. It is better to look for a professional help than just taking it because that may lead to death. I have learned that many people that went through domestic violence are strong because they actually look forward to act and improve their lives. They found the way to be happy again and are willing to help the people that go through that same process they went through. Many people dont really know what is domestic violence and so in most cases of abuse go unnoticed or unreported. I have also learned that men and women all over the world are victims of domestic violence mostly in developing

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countries because they have different morals. No matter what everybody should be treated with respect. This problem can lead to worse if victims dont look for help right away. Thousands of people get killed or commit suicide because of domestic violence. There is a lot of help out there for everyone no matter the gender, religion, or culture . Believe it or not children get affect as well. Innocent children due to the exposure of domestic violence they end up affected in the future doing the same thing parents went though when adults. No one would like the worse thing for there children in the future. Remember, that the children from now are the future of tomorrow. Let's show them the best so the best they will be. Domestic violence has a solution. The solution is to speak up and get help. Nobody should be scared or ashamed to get help. Looking for help can save lives before is to late.

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