Cheong, Seo Hyen

General Comments: 1) The author clearly states her ideas in the paper. 2) The papers flow is easy to follow. 3) The author uses good choice of words.

Phase 1: Content 1) Points were clearly made. 2) Essay was easy to follow. 3) Author picked an issue that is controversial and able to gather the attention of the reader. 4) Adequate examples were used to prove ideas. 5) Third person perspective was used.

Phase 2: Organization and Style 1) The essay was straight to the point. 2) Style was simple and clean. It was easy to understand.

Phase 3: Grammar and Mechanics 1) Some minor errors were made. (just simple typos) 2) References were not cited after the essay.