Dear Brian, Overall your literacy narrative expressed a clear main idea of what your growth or decline was

based on and it was evident that they were on lies. Because it was not bluntly stated, I recommend revealing that more clearly so that the reader can connect your anecdotes and examples with your main idea. You provide a lot of content and much evidence for the growth but you would need more explanation of why it is important to your literacy. At the end of your literacy narrative, you stated that are not good with conclusions but as a pun simply admit defeat that you do not do them at all. In a formal essay, you would want to provide one and reestablish the significance for others to read this. You provided evidence for your literacy sponsors and showed how they helped but I would suggest providing fewer details in your anecdotes so that it can connect to how your literacy is continuing to change and grow now and not as though it was only a simple thing of the past. Possibly, you can include what you want to do with it in your future and how your experiences have helped. Your grammar and local errors were few and syntax shows the capability of writing well. You can possibly explain why the story of your brother relates to your literacy learning? I did enjoy the introduction and has potential to emphasize more on how it shapes you today and less of the scenarios itself; simply provide more meaning to your great content and how it can affect you as well as your surroundings and the people around you and this paper will be terrific. Sincerely, Helen Fetscher