Scott Rogers CI 404: Davila Student A Impact April 9, 2014 My students and I took a week to work through a DBQ

on Prohibition and why the United States repealed the 18th Amendment. At the end of the week, the students were asked to write a five-paragraph essay answering the question, Why did America change its mind on prohibition? The students were given a day and a half in class to write the first draft on lined paper. I graded the work over Spring Break, and then they were able to make corrections based on my comments. Student A wrote a great paper on their first draft. However there were a few things that I suggested be changed. I wrote on the paper, This is very well written. You are organized and providing good analysis. However, you need to provide citations. Where did you get the information from? Also, be sure to restate your thesis in the conclusion. Show how you proved your point. The student received a 3.5/4 mostly because the student did not provide citations and because the introduction and conclusion needed some work. I wrote many comments throughout the paper. For example, I wrote that they had a very good intro. However, I suggested that they start explaining prohibition, then tell us why it was repealed. I also wrote other comments about things they said for them to consider. I asked some questions in order to make them think how they may rephrase or rewrite to be stronger. Student A made quite a few changes in the final draft of the paper. First off, they changed up the introduction based on my suggestions. It was a good introduction to begin with, but now it was much stronger and mature. They also added the citations throughout the paper as well. The student also became much clearer and definitive. However, the student did not just make corrections on where I suggested. They also rephrased some sections, and changed the direction of one of the paragraphs completely. I was very happy with my students improvement. It is amazing how far a little feedback can help improve the work of the students. Although this student already did very well on the first paper, the final draft was much stronger and more polished. Overall, it sounded much clearer and more developed.