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Javier Negrete Jr
Dr. Wanda White
English 1102
February 05, 2014
My Name is Phoenix
No one grows old without changing and adapting to the world around you. Though I am
only nineteen, I have only experienced a small portion of a greater life that will be lived for
others and my family. In these past few years, I have lived them wondering why God called me
to be born into a humble family of Mexico. During that time frame, I dedicated time of deep
thought and doubt to so many characteristics of my personality in search of what those traits
that best define me. As a result of excess reflection without action, I am clouded by self-
consciousness, and the fear of disliking my identity. It was not until a couple of days ago that I
launched a process of rebirth and chosen to start a new. I broke out of a dreamers life, entered
lifestyle that I hope is a perfect adaptation as I approach my future.
The beginning of my college experience was optimistic and filled with excitement at the
fact of being an independent. I was fearless, confident, and driven with a dreamers motivation
to persevere. I would go to bead thinking how my future patients would glance at me and
thank me for my medical attention. Other nights, I would day dream about having enough
knowledge of complex human anatomical systems to understand why the body reacts a certain
wayproviding my medical services to those in need. My list of dreams was becoming
meaningless as time progressed and I was not taking the steps to prepare to live the dream. I
remember walking in to a restaurant that had a quote that said, To live your dream, you must
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first wake-up. Months later, I had a discussion with my roommate about how I was not liking
my major and planning to change it. He encouraged me to, as the quote said, wake up.
The first thing that I wanted to establish in my life was a foundation of personality traits
that would follow me throughout my entire life. I wanted something bold, sturdy against
criticism, and poetic. I could only think of one mythical creature that best fit the drive and style
of recovery from any hardship. I envisioned lifes struggles as part of the cycle of life and ever
reoccurring. I connected that and an old memory of my dad refusing to pick me up after falling
from a steep hill at my elementary school. He said to me, Just like in life, you have to learn to
get up on your own. I knew then, that the phoenix was the creature to look up to.
After establishing a collection of personality traits, I proceeded to ask a question I had
never asked myself. What am I passionate for? What is it that one thing I would go to sleep
thinking about, and wake up with an urge to keep working on? It all reminded me of the
campaign that I became a part of to grant North Carolina undocumented students in state
tuition. My mind exploded with happiness in knowing that I knew what it meant to have a
passion for. I now know how I should feel about my career.
Like my involvement with the campaign, I want my career to fuel me with energy. I want
my career to have an intrinsic motivation. I want my career to make me apply every skill I have
and dedicate them to be applied. Unfortunately, I have not found yet what field of study makes
me feel that passion. However, I will know for sure what it will feel like when I find it.
College taught me that life situations as a dependent are not nearly as demanding as the
life situations as an independent. I learned much more about myself than any other time of my
life. Dreaming is for childen, teenagers, and people who depend on others to make decisions
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for them. Dreaming is for those who have not be awaken to reality. Realizing this was a big leap
and change in direction of my future. It was such a change that became an obstacle that helped
me find out the type of person I am. I am no longer that person who waits for the someday to
happen
. Overcoming that phase of my life was one of many necessary steps to build my
identity. The adaptation of being a Phoenix was among the most important decisions I have
made in my life. Being a phoenix Is to understand why you are having frequent times of
discomfort and sadness. It usually means that you must be re-born from any agitation and
become someone who has either learned from that agitation and begin a new cycle. The most
important part about becoming a phoenix is awaiting the agitation and accepting it as the time
to reborn.
Through all of this change, the most important part in defining my identity was to know
where my future lies. Being exposed to the feeling of being passionate was the preparation for
choosing the career or field of study to pursue.