Are we truly Intimate?

Everybody is afraid of intimacy and interestingly mostly everyone is unaware of this fact. You must have
often heard that a lifetime is not enough to understand someone. Even after living together till death
two people remain strangers. The issue of intimacy becomes more complex, since everyone desire
intimacy. One cannot live in isolation without relationships. Relationships stand on the premise as to
how we respond and communicate with each other. These relationships form groups, society and
masses and no one can be isolated from this mass. The planet is one organism and each one of us is part
of it.
Yet Intimacy doesnt happen, Why?
One of the human beings basic need is the feeling of being needed, loved and to be accepted. Yet, we
have no acceptance of this need. Each one of us is living with a mask on. Most of us are not aware of our
own real self, and when we dont know ourselves then how can we open up to others.
Relationships are mostly based on self-fruition, self-gratification, whether in families, lovers, and friends.
Everyone seek comfort level and security in a relationship. When this security is not met, relationships
loose their essence. Then one looks for satisfaction in new relationships and the same story repeats
there.
Another aspect of relationships is that, being in a relationship means a process of self revelation and
during this process many unpleasant aspects about self comes forth, which one doesnt accept or face
and keeps blaming the other person. In the process, the relationship suffers and one starts moving
away from the relationship.
We are split within. In a relationship, we do experience moments of love, moments of thoughtlessness
and we cling to these memories. This creates a barrier between what is happening within us and what
we are actually doing. And, we continue to live in misery within.
So, what is intimacy?
Intimacy means exposing oneself to someone completely, dropping all defenses, all inhibitions and
exposing ones vulnerability. Intimacy means pure love and in love relationship dissolves. It is then
communion between two people happen, where there is no place for fear, there is complete freedom, a
sense of oneness.
Love is a not a product of the intellect, so it is not easy to comprehend the essence of love. Love is a
state of being. To understand love, one needs to understand self at all levels of consciousness and
accept and love self completely, then only one can love someone else completely. In true love, one is in
communion with the other, only when one is in communion with the near and dear ones, one would be
more open to the neighbors, society and then to the masses. In love, one becomes selfless, thinks about
fulfilling others desires. One has to commit in totality into a relationship, without any self gratifying
motive.
However, in reality love takes the back seat. The other person becomes an object of love and love
recedes. Possessiveness, jealousy, expectations overtake love and relationship looses its significance.
Actually, one is not thinking of love, mind seeks security and love makes one vulnerable. In love, one
risks of being exposed completely, but we are not ready for that, we wants to be at comfort level with
self.
When a relationship begins, big promises and dreams of a lifetime togetherness are there, but this
dream comes to an end very soon. We either live in the past or in future, forgetting the present. If we
donot commit ourselves in totality during the moment, every moment, neither the memories are
pleasant nor the seed sown for the future would be complete in itself.
Is intimacy possible?
Yes, intimacy is possible. One can initiate intimacy with self, accept self in totality, drop all masks, drop
all identities, live beyond traditions, beyond social rules. As one starts dropping all identities, simplicity,
love, innocence, trust, openness emerges. This in turn will help others to open up.
So, by taking a step towards knowing self, the journey from individual consciousness to collective
consciousness shall begin.the spirit of oneness and true love shall emerge and one shall merge with
the infinite.