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TiffanyTse
Mrs.Crichton
APEnglishLanguage
8March2014
DoingSchool
Studentsareconstantlyremindedthatgoodgradesinhighschoolequalacollegeeducationand
successinlife.AdultstellteenagersthatstudentswillbeflippingburgersatMcDonaldsiftheydonot
getacceptedintocollege.Schoolisnolongeraboutlearningandunderstandingthematerial.Thesteps
ofcellularrespiration,theHardyWeinbergequilibrium,thesignificanceofHenryClay,thequadratic
equation,andthecountlesslistoftopicsdiscussedinschoolareonlyrememberedmomentarily.
Studentsnolongergotoschooltobecomeeducatedinhistory,science,math,andtheothersubjects
theyareenrolledintheygotoschooltodowhatisrequiredofthemtogetintocollegegoodgrades.
Thestressplaceduponstudentstogetthat4.99GPAiscausingstudentstobecomementally
crazy.Studentswakeupatsixoclockinthemorningeachweekdayafteronlyfourhoursofsleep.
Theypressthesnoozebuttonagainandagainonlytobeabletogetanextrasixtysecondsofsleep.
Highschooljuniors,whoareoverwhelmedwiththeSATandACTinadditiontostandardizedtestings
thatcausethemtomissclass,pullallnightersonadailybasisandcollapseontotheirbedslikeadead
sealateightonFridaynightstheonlytimetheydonothavetoturninhomeworkthefollowingday.The
weekendsarenottimeforsleepinginbecausetherearehomeworkwaitingtobecompletedpointsthat
willeitherlowerorkeepthatAintheclass.FinishingupthatdoublechapteroutlineforHistory,thatone
pagelongCalculusproblem,thattenpageslongAPBiologylabreport,andthatJonKrakaueressay
causesstudentstobedeprivedofsleep.Studentsdonotwanttoprocrastinatebuttheyareleftwithno
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choicewhengivensomuchhomeworktodo.Thereareonlytwentyfourhoursinadaywithfour
hundredandtwentyofthoseminutesspentdoingschoolatschool.Accordingtothezombies,human
teenagersneedexactly9hoursofsleepeachnightbuttheteenagezombiesgetonlyhalfofthe
recommendedamountofsleepallthankstoschool,theplacewheretheyaresupposetolearnandnot
justgetgoodgrades.Prettysoon,highschoolsaroundtheglobewillbefilledupwithzombiestudents
walkingaroundwithacupofStarbuckstripleshotespressoinonehandandbooksintheotherjustto
getthroughanotherdayofdoingschool.Studentsofthisgenerationwillallendupbeingaddictedto
caffeineandtoleranttocoffeethattheywillneedagallonjugofcoffeeinordertoachievethesame
effectasacupofGrandeStarbucksespresso.Alongwiththeirtextbooks,studentswillbehaulingtheir
gallonofcoffeefromclasstoclass.Theelementarystylerollerbackpackswillbeexpandingtothehigh
schoolpopulation.Eventually,parentswillnolongerbedrivingtheirstudentstoXXXhighschool
becausetheywillbedrivingtheirsonsordaughterstothementalrehabilitationcenterorthecaffeine
rehabilitationcenter.
Becausecollegesonlylookatgradeswhentheydecidewhogetstoattendtheircolleges,those
whotriedtolearnthematerialinsteadofdoingschoolarenotgoingtogetintoanuniversity.Theywill
faillife.Withtheabove4.0GPA,studentsareprovidedwiththementalitythatcollegescannotreject
thembecausetheyareanA+student.Whetherthestudentactuallylearnedthematerialornotdoesnot
matterforcollegeacceptancepurposes.Astudentwhodoesalloftheassignedwork,theextracredit
assignments,andcrammedthenightandearlymorningbeforeatestmostoftengetanAintheclass
becausetheydideverythingthatwasrequiredofthem.Butdidtheyreallylearnandretainthe
informationforthefinaloreventheAPexam?Studentsaretrainedtoonlydotheschoolworkbecause
everythingbesidesgradesdonotmatterforcollegeacceptance.Theydowhatisneededofthemto
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achievetheirdesiredgradememorizinginsteadofknowingthematerial.Theintendedpurposeof
schoolwasforstudentstoexplorethedifferentsubjectsavailableandtoLEARNthematerialbut
clearly,learningisnotaprioritywhengradesmattermost.Studentssimplydonothaveenoughtimeto
actuallycomprehendthematerial.Whenstudentsattempttofullyunderstandandlearnthestepsof
photosynthesis,fermentation,andWorldWarI,theyputtheirGPAatriskbecauseittakestimeaway
fromcompletingtheassignmentandgettingthegradesneededforcollegeadmission.Studentswould
rathercramallnightbecausethisiswhattheyneedtodoinordertoreceiveanA+.
Theclearwaytogetschoolbacktoitsintendedpurposetotohaveteachersassignhomework
withthepurposeofhelpingstudentsreviewthematerialstaughtinclass,notusehomeworkastheway
forstudentstolearnfreshmaterials.Althoughstudentsneedtolearnhowtoreadthetextbook,teachers
cannothandovertheentireresponsibilitytothestudent.Eventhegardenerbelievesthatstudentsareno
longerlearninginschoolstudentsareonlydoingtheschoolwork.
ToomuchemphasishavebeenplacedonGPAasadeterminingfactorinwhetherastudentwill
havealucrativecareerorfaillife.Schoolisnolongeraninterestingenvironmentforstudentstolearn
andretaintheinformationdiscussedandtaughtbyteachers.Schoolisonlyaboutgettingtheworkdone
andcramming.Studentsarestayingupallnightandgettingminimalsleepinordertostayawaketo
continuethecycleofdoingschool.Caffeinezombieswillberoamingaroundtheschoolhallwayifthe
educationsystemcontinuestoteachkidstodoschoolinsteadofeducatingthemaboutthedifferent
subjects.Thesituationisonlygoingtogetworstifactionsarenottakenimmediately.Whoknowswhat
thecaffeinezombieswilldototheschool?

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Reflection
Thisessaytakesreadersthroughmyjourneyandexperienceasastudentinthegenerationof
lowcollegeacceptancerates.Forthereaderswhoarenolongerinschool,theyareprovidedwitha
glimpseofwhatschoolislikeforstudentsnowadayswhileIamalsoconnectingwiththereaderswho
arecurrentlyinschool.Mysomewhataccurateexaggerationsandsatiricalfallaciesarethedrivingforce
inthisessayandpushreaderstocontinuereading.Mycredibilityisdemonstratedthroughmyuseof
personalexperiencesmixedinwithsomefallaciestoavoidtakingmyselftooseriously.Readerswho
readmyessayfullywillfurtherunderstandthelifeofastudentinAmericaandwillunderstandthe
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strugglesthatstudentsgothrougheachday.Mydictionsarefresh,precise,andengagingtoensure
readerscanfullycomprehendmyargumentandbepersuadedatthesametime.Inordertomakemy
writingsoundeffortless,IusedtransitionalphrasesinadditiontowritingaboutwhatIcareabout.As
shownbymyproperMLAformatandcorrectnessinpunctuation,spelling,andgrammaticalstructure,
myessayindicatesahighlevelofprofessionalism.IamparticularlyproudofthefactthatIhadfun
writingthisessaywhilestillbeingabletopersuadereadersinonecompleteunit.