Running head: CHANGE PAPER: MY JOURNEY

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Change Paper: My Journey Through School
Kirsten E. Shier: 100479075
Dynamics of Change: EDUC 5203G
Professor Maurice DiGiuseppe
December 5, 2013











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Change Paper: My Journey Through School
Introduction
The following paper will discuss my personal journey through Ontarios
education system. I will highlight key phases in my educational journey such as
elementary school, high school, and university, as well as my years post undergraduate
studies. Family dynamics, study habits, friendships, new relationships, and internal
motivation will also be discussed, as well as connections to theories discussed in class.
This assignment has allowed for a lot of reflection and is therefore meaningful
and personal. Although learning is a lifelong process, the M.Ed. program marks the
finale of my full time studies and provides an opportune moment to reflect and share my
experience in school with my peers.
My Story
I always knew I would be a teacher. When I was a child my parents created a
schoolroom in the basement. It was equipped with a chalkboard, pointer, table and
chairs, and all other school supplies I found in the house. I spent hours down there, and
since I was the eldest sibling in the family, I would coerce my younger brother to be my
student. As you can imagine, I loved school.
The time I spent at elementary school was enjoyable. I generally liked my
teachers, got along well with classmates, and participated in extra curricular activities
through the school and privately. My mother was also involved with the school. She
volunteered with whomever needed assistance and was the President of the S.C.C. Fullen
(2006) believes that in order for success to occur the school/community, the district, and
the state must be consulted. He refers to this as tri-level engagement. As a child it is
difficult to interact with the district and the state, however, I believe that I had my own
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working model of tri-level engagement. This system included; my parents, school, and
extra curricular activities. These three areas interacted and consulted regularly to assist
with my success in elementary school.
Unfortunately in grade six my mother returned to full time work and was not able
to volunteer at the school as often. My grades dropped slightly but not enough to cause
concern. I worked extremely hard to finish elementary school with a B average.
After graduation I moved to high school. I attended a new school but home life
remained the same. I was accountable to my parents, followed a curfew, and openly
discussed school. My parents attended parent teacher conferences and I participated in
extra curricular activities through the school and privately. I had a lot of support and
guidance from my family. At school things remained similar as well. I leveled off at a B
average, met some new friends and kept some from elementary school. I had my
independence at school and freedom to hang out with my friends at night and on
weekends. Home and school overlapped in conversations and occasional parent teacher
meetings. This was how I kept my equilibrium.
After high school graduation I moved into residence at Trent University where I
would begin my four-year psychology and sociology degree. I have a late birthday and
when I moved into residence I was still 17 years old, younger than many of my peers.
The equilibrium I balanced in elementary and high school had shifted as I began living a
new lifestyle. I no longer participated in extra curricular activities, I did not have a part-
time job or use the school gym, and I no longer had any interaction with children my
greatest passion in life. Finally, I no longer lived with my parents. This meant that I had
no one checking in on me after assignments, quizzes, and tests. With my former
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hobbies abandoned, I filled my spare time by hanging out with friends, going to bars, and
increasing the frequency of my social drinking. Unfortunately this meant that after a
night with friends I was unproductive the following day. My body was required to
compensate for lost sleep, craved unhealthy food, and my mind was too groggy to
complete homework and assignments.
When my graded assignments did return and I earned a C I would rationalize this
by telling myself that I was adjusting to university. In elementary school I earned As,
high school Bs, and in university I would level off at a C average. The gradual decline
in grades was excusable in my mind.
My equilibrium had shifted. I no longer had the same family support I had when
living at home with my parents, I was unengaged with the community and my grades had
shifted yet again. What I benefited from tri-level engagement was no longer accessible.
My behavior had changed and the change was not for the better.
Unfreezing
I completed second year the same way I finished first year, unengaged in
academics and earning Cs. In the spring of 2010 I began to unfreeze (Schein, 1999).
After reflection on the previous academic year I decided to take two crash courses in
May and June. I also decided that I should earn some money before leaving for camp. I
registered for school and applied at McDonalds; the closest place to my house that I did
not feel bad lying to about my intentions. Working and attending school took up the
majority of my time and left me with ample time to reflect on my previous two years at
school and what my future would look like. One night I had a sinking feeling in my
stomach and I thought WOW if I do not change the way I have been approaching
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school and my hobbies I am not going to get into teachers college and there is nothing
else in the world I want to do more than teach.
Lewin, as cited in Schein (1999) believes three things need to occur in the
unfreezing phase.
1. Disconfirmation: I was unhappy with my first two years at university and felt as if
my actions had set me back on life goals.
2. Guilt: I accepted my feelings as valid and began feeling a large amount of guilt.
Guilt for letting my parents and myself down.
3. Psychological Safety: These feelings were manageable and explainable. I was
able to make an action plan.
I successfully completed my spring courses and left for camp. I packed my
journal that read Be the change you wish to see in the world (Ghandi) on the front
cover. This quote serves to be the mantra of my summer and remaining two years at
university.
That summer I met my current boyfriend Trevor and I lost my uncle Steve to
cancer. Steves passing and my relationship with Trevor are cause for motivation in my
change story. Steve left behind his wife Andrea, who is my dads sister, and their two
children. Tyler was 12 and Dana was nine that summer. I imagine that it is difficult for
anyone to lose a loved one, but no child should be robbed of their father and that is what
made Steves death so traumatic for me.
I knew at the end of that summer that my next two years at university would be
drastically different than the first two. There would be no question as to whether my
academic plan would work out. Success was mandatory.
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Change and Challenges
Change is a process, not an event (Speck, 1999). My process began with altering
my mindset. I could not keep allowing myself to think that I am a C student. I will no
longer accept this as an excuse.
As I entered third year I felt confident but knew I had placed a lot of pressure on
myself to succeed. I needed to earn higher grades in my final two years as well as
overcompensate for my first and second year grades. Fortunately, Trevor has so much
confidence in me and expresses his feelings well. This assisted me through my final two
years. Not only did my grades need to improve but I also wanted to become involved in
the community. I needed to recreate those outsider insider relationships (Speck, 1999). I
began tutoring through Frontier College, I had a Best Buddy through Community Living,
and I went to the gym every day. In addition to this I had a long distance boyfriend
whom I needed and wanted to make time for on the weekends. I had to change the way I
worked. I began working smarter. I was organized and created schedules for tests,
assignments, extra curriculars, study time, social time etc. I did not simply do my
readings I highlighted important information and made notes. Instead of studying for
tests, I learned the material. Finally, I did not just write my papers, I sent them into
academic skills for free editing and feedback. This process of change was having a
positive impact on my grades and self-confidence.
I also had to change the way I interacted with my friends. Instead of staying out
late and frequenting local bars I would visit over lunch, rent a movie, watch a show, or
cook dinner together. Activities that were less detrimental on my productivity the next
day. Unfortunately this resulted in me losing touch with some friends, specifically, the
boys. They continued to visit local bars and our interactions lessened. I was so satisfied
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with the direction my final two years were headed that I was not upset with this
consequence.
A second challenge my new lifestyle faced was the pressure I had put on myself.
Since I was attempting to earn higher grades as well as overcompensate for the grades I
earned in first and second year, when I encountered difficulty it felt amplified. I
remember taking a third year statistics midterm and I froze. I couldnt remember how to
do a Chi Squared test. Unfortunately this question was the first of a three-part question
worth over half of the midterm. I cried for days but life goes on and eventually I
recovered.
Hinde (2003), emphasizes the importance of emotions and relationships during
change, the need to relate to other individuals experiencing the same or a similar change.
Fortunately my best friend and I were in the same program at school and lived together.
Although, she was not experiencing the same change process that I was, having her
around to talk with and finish assignments was beneficial.
Post-Undergraduate Life
My actions in first and second year did not disappear after I changed my habits
for third and fourth year. They scarred me and will continue to disrupt my academic
career for years to come.
When the time came to apply to teachers college I feared I would not be accepted
due to my low academic self-confidence. This resulted in my decision to spend my entire
October reading break applying to all 12 teachers colleges in Ontario. In hindsight my
decision to apply to 12 teachers colleges was unnecessary but it did provide me with
many options and an increased self-confidence related to school. Entering teachers
college allowed me to apply what I had been practicing in my final two years of
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undergraduate studies and use it for the rest of my life. This was my refreezing period
(Schein, 1999), a chance to apply all the changes I had been practicing into a new
program.
Reflection
This change story and paper have allowed for deep personal reflection that I am
appreciative of. I will continue to value the new relationships and lifestyle that have
come as a result of my changes. I have learned a lot about myself, what I am capable of,
what I value in a relationship, and that I hope to inspire intrinsically motivated children.
















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References:
Fullan, M. (2006). Change theory: A force for school improvement. Centre for Strategic
Education, 1-14. Available: http://www.michaelfullan.ca/media/
13396072630.pdf
Hinde, E. (2003). Reflections on reform: A former teacher looks at school change and the
factors that shape it. Teachers College Record (Online). Available:
http://tinyurl.com/mgynzwo
Schein, E. H. (1999). Kurt lewin's change theory in the field and in the classroom: Notes
toward a model of managed learning. Reflections 1(1), 59-74.
Speck, M. (1996). The change process in a school learning community. The School
Community Journal, 6(1), 69-79. Available: http://www.adi.org/journal/ss96/
SpeckSpring1996.pdf