Running head: DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE LENS OF OTHERS 1
Looking at Development Through the Lens of Two Acquaintances:
An Interview Approach to Understand Development Within a Counseling Context Lyndsey G. Hepworth Seattle University
Coun 507, Counseling Across the Lifespan Fall 2011 Submitted to Dr. Kristi Lee 12/7
DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE LENS OF OTHERS 2 Looking at Development Through the Lens of Two Acquaintances: An Interview Approach to Understand Development Within a Counseling Context One criterion that applies to any type of counselor is to be prepared to work with diverse cliental. It is our job to be prepared, ethical, skilled, and multiculturally competent. We should be able to provide quality service to all, in a compassionate and effective way. There are many ways to gain this expertise: through our graduate courses, reading textbooks and scholarly journal articles, professional experience, and simply engaging in conversation with others. Each day we encounter people other than ourselves, who each have unique personalities, characteristics, and experiences. Through our interactions with them we unknowingly learn about their individual experiences, which is helpful in preparing our understanding of others. Although no person is the same, our understanding of one community or one culture can help us when counseling a person from the respective community or culture. For example, being aware of the common struggles a person in public housing experiences can be useful when working with a client living in this type of housing. For this final essay we were asked to interview two people, reflect on their developmental stages, and apply it to a counseling context. This is taking our daily interaction with others to another level, truly focusing on their life, the specific struggles they faced, and considering what we could do for them as a counselor, at the everyday, state, and national level. By interviewing people with two differing elements of identity from my own, I was able to gain insight about an unfamiliar developmental lifespan construct. For much of this quarter we focused on applying textbooks concepts to our own development, and now have the opportunity to apply these concepts to people who differ from us in two ways. The interview questions were focused around five topics including, a) identity development, b) relationship with others, c) knowledge, DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE LENS OF OTHERS 3 education, and work, d) moral development, and e) spiritual development. For each interviewee I will give a thorough introduction and the reason for selecting him/her, a summary of their responses in relation to each of the five topic areas, distinguish clear connections made between their responses and class concepts, and apply their development to a counseling context at a everyday, state, and national level. To conclude this essay I will give my personal reactions to the interviews, discuss the reflection of my own life experiences in relation to the interviews, and emphasize the importance of understanding others life experiences through the lifespan. Interview #1 Introduction For my first interview I interviewed a close friend of my moms. When growing up I remember my mom dragging me to this friends holiday parties and playing with her kids, but I havent seen their family in about eight years. Although I had this periodic relationship with her children, I never had a relationship with her. I chose to interview her because she knows my mother, making it less awkward for the both of us, which I think aided in her openness and detail during the interview. My mothers friend is named Fabiola and she is a middle-aged woman from Peru. Although I am bi-racial, I have grown up in Washington and identify myself mainly as a Westernized, white female. Fabiola is in the stage of middle adulthood and has emigrated from Peru, creating two distinct differences between us. To create a general overview of her life, she was born in Lima and came to Washington by herself in 1981. She brought with her an equivalent of 50 American dollars and a dream to start a family and create a rewarding life in America. Within the first two months of being in the states she met my mom at the Shoreline Community College cafeteria. It is common for people in the Hispanic culture to come to the DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE LENS OF OTHERS 4 states to study and move back upon completion of their degree. Fabiola was different in her intentions; she wanted to make a life in America, not simply earn a degree and go back. She met her husband Michael within two years of being here and now has a lovely home with three children, ages 27, 21, and 15. Summary of Question Areas with Connection to Textbook Content Identity development. Fifteen years ago, shortly after Fabiolas last daughter was born, she found out she had breast cancer. Within these 15 years she has battled breast cancer four times and within the last year discovered a tumor near her spinal cord, making it extremely difficult to move around and feel physical pain. This life altering news led her to God and forming a strong concept of self- identity. One theorist, Marcia, has identified four identity statuses. The statuses include a) diffusion, when a person does little to form an identity, b) foreclosure, when identity is formed by adults, not through exploration, c) moratorium, when a person is exploring different types of identity, and d) achievement, when an individual has explored different identities, but has chosen one identity (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2010). I believe that Fabiola is in the achievement status, as she has explored different identifiers, but has stuck with being a mother, good friend, and close to God. Fabiola believes that the beginning of forming this true identity started when she had her first daughter, Michelle. Her identity as a rebellious child leaving Peru quickly changed when she had the full time responsibility of taking care of her first-born. Considering the impact of birth order, Michelle was indeed a guinea pig and Fabiola was very enthusiastic and had high expectations for her and her role as a mother. Rather quickly she realized what type of mother she needed to be; a warm, comforting mother that was responsive to her daughters need. I DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE LENS OF OTHERS 5 would identify her parenting style as authoritative, using moderate control and implementing the warmness and responsiveness factors. Research has found that authoritative parenting is best for most children most of the time, so Fabiolas ideas of parenthood were right on. It is her role as an authoritative parent, connection with God, and being a cancer survivor that leads to her achieved status of identity. Relationship with others. Being sick has strengthened Fabiolas relationships with others. When asked who do you consider part of your family, she replied all her friends and family. Her friends, including my mother, have helped take care of her kids when she was in the hospital, made meals for their family, and provided unconditional support. This year she planned an extravagant quinceaera, a huge fifteenth birthday celebration symbolic of entrance into young adulthood, for her youngest daughter Melissa. The party was on Saturday and she found out she had a tumor the Wednesday prior and had to go into immediate surgery. She was no longer able to complete the last minute party planning. A close friend jumped into the role as party planner and took care of everything so that Fabiola didnt have to worry about the party. This is one of the many examples of an altruistic act that her friends have done for her. The textbook states that, having good friendships helps boost self-esteem. They also help us become socialized into new roles throughout adulthood (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2010, p. 396). Her friends have helped her during the unfortunate transition of becoming sick and these strong friendships have given Fabiola hope and maintenance of self-esteem. I believe that it is her friendships and relationship with God that have helped her through four rounds of cancer. Even though she has become increasingly dependent on others, Fabiola welcomes friends and people in her community to her house every Sunday for bible study. She goes out of her DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE LENS OF OTHERS 6 way to help others discover God in their life and to provide support to them in any way they need. This act is an example of prosocial behavior that is defined as, any behavior that benefits another person (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2010, p. 191). She enjoys helping others, even when very sick. These multidirectional helping relationships she has with others is key in her life and in her progression of becoming healthier. Knowledge, education, and work. Having cancer has confined Fabiola to her house. She is unable to have a regular job as she is too weak and is constantly in and out of the doctors office. It was at church that she found her career calling, a blessing as she describes it. She overheard a church member talking about housing abroad students and decided to approach her with questions. After talking for a while with this lady, she thought that Fabiola would be the perfect candidate and said she was going to tell the agency about her. Shortly after Fabiola received a call from the agency asking to do a home visit to see if she would be a good candidate for the open position. She was approved and four days later had two kids from Korea living with her. When I asked her how she decided on her career she said that all fell into place and that it was her calling from God to house these students and take care of them as a mother would. She has been doing this for the past five years and says she has never enjoyed a job so much nor made so much money! She believes that people will be the happiest when doing a job that fits their personality, which coincides with Hollands theory of occupational choice. People choose occupations to optimize the fit between their individual traits (such as personality, intelligence, skills, and abilities) and their occupational interests (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2010, p. 431). Fabiola loves being social and helping others, so this job has been the perfect fit for her and proof that Hollands theory proves correct. DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE LENS OF OTHERS 7 Moral development. When describing to Fabiola the scenario of the husband stealing the drug to save his wife from dying, she gave it much thought before answering. This internal processing is known as reflective judgment, the way in which adults reason through real-life dilemmas including moral dilemmas (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2010, p. 378). Her first response was one that comes from her spirituality; she said that she believes that everyone has their time to die, it doesnt depend on the pills or the doctor. If God is going to pick you up, he will (F. Bitterbost, personal communication, November 26, 2011). She went on to say that if she had to choose if this moral dilemma was right or wrong, she would choose wrong. Stealing is against her belief and she thinks that there are other ways to get the money for the medication such as asking others for help or fundraising. Her knowledge of what to do in moral dilemmas comes from her experiences. All that she has learned through life shapes how she chooses what is wrong and right. She added that it is her responsibility to share this information with her children, in hopes that they will make the right decision when stuck in difficult situations. Spiritual development. The textbook mentions that researchers are focusing on spiritual support as a way to help older adults cope. Even when under high levels of stress, people who rely on spiritual support report greater personal well being (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2010, p. 563). Fabiola believes that without her trust and faith in God that she may not be here or doing as well as she is. Taking into account this research, it is safe to say that without her faith she may have reported increased levels of stress, decreased self-esteem, and an overall decrease in well being. By turning her problems over to God she no longer has to deal with this stress and lives her life believing what will happen will happen. Fabiola is an incredibly strong woman with a strong belief system. She DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE LENS OF OTHERS 8 mentioned, everyone has inside the voice of God to know him, but not everybody listens. Some people accept God in tragedies, others in happiness. Me, I never heard his calling before. But when God did call, I heard and was very anxious to know him (F. Bitterbost, personal communication, November 26, 2011). She started the bible study at her house in response to this awareness and in hopes to increase the awareness of God and his power to others. Counseling Context My interview with Fabiola made me realize that some people believe that only God can or will help them. This made me question what a counselor could do for a client with such strong beliefs. If your client believes that everything happens for a reason and that God will help them when they need it, what is the counselor to do? I believe that this is when our counseling 510 skills will prove extremely helpful. Not having a specific counseling theory in mind and to simply keep the focus on the client and use paraphrasing, clarifying, feedback, and attending etc., to help them talk through what they are struggling with should be very helpful. Using Bronfenbrenners ecological theory I can think of ways of counseling Fabiola at the microsystem, mesosystem, exosystem, and macrosystem levels. His theory is based on the idea that human development is inseparable from the environmental contexts in which a person develops (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2010, p. 15). It is Fabiolas immediate environment, social setting, government and social policies, and the culture and ethnic group she belongs too that effect her development. As a counselor it is useful to consider each level and what we can do for them at that level. At the micro level, it will be important to discuss what everyday looks like for her. Does she have the support she needs? Can she engage in normal daily activities with her sickness or does she need the help of others? Providing her with numbers of caregivers to help her get the DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE LENS OF OTHERS 9 assistance she needs will reduce her stress and allow her to experience a day without the struggles in doing basic things. At the meso level, making sure that Fabiola has expressed her sickness to the agency and her church for community help. Being involved in breast cancer awareness campaigns is something I could personally do to increase the awareness around the community. On the government and state level, making sure that Fabiola is entitled to all leave that she may need under the Family Medical Leave Act. At the broadest level, the macro level, helping Fabiola connect with her Peruvian heritage in hopes of increasing her ethnic identity, which has been proven to help self-esteem. For Fabiola being an active member in church is very important and I think that being an active member in her cultural group would prove helpful as well. The ability to share common values and discuss them can be very powerful. Interview #2 Introduction For my second interview I interviewed a 21-year-old male that was born and raised in Texas, but whose parents emigrated from India and Peru. He is a friend of my boyfriends and I consider him my interview savior since my planned second interviewee bailed on me, still not responding to calls or text messages. I had originally planned on interviewing a 22-year-old Native American male, as I am highly interested in their culture and life living on an Indian reservation. Although things didnt go as planned, I had a successful interview with Roy, a male who struggles with his ethnic identity and finding his true self. Although he mentioned several times he felt ostracized, he never gave me a specific example, even when asking him. I would have preferred a little more detail from Roy, but I appreciate the things he did share with me. Currently Roy attends Washington State University in Pullman, WA, with his parents and two siblings residing in Mill Creek, WA. DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE LENS OF OTHERS 10 Summary of Question Areas with Connection to Textbook Content Identity development. Forming an identity has been a struggle for Roy. Growing up in Texas he said that he suffered prejudice and the effects of invisible social boundaries. With negative comments said about him and his idea that he wasnt allowed to hang out with people other than people of color, he grew to resent his ethnic identity, especially being Indian. The text says that prejudice often increases during the adolescence years when people are in search of identity, creating a preference for their own cultural group (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2010). For Roy he created a preference to fit into the white male group. When Roy moved to Washington during high school he did just this; he fit himself into the group he thought was popular. This led to a downward spiral of getting into trouble with both his parents and the law. Erik Eriksons psychosocial theory argues that adolescents face a crisis between identity and role confusion where the crisis involves balancing the desire to try out many possible selves and the need to select a single self (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2010, p. 326). It isnt until now, in his third year of college that he is realizing his actions have consequences and that perhaps the identity he has created for himself isnt the one he wants. Relationship with others. When asking Roy who he considered part of his family he replied that he only considers his immediate family. He says that all of his friends are there for him, but in a negative way, and that he wouldnt mind losing those connections. He goes on to tell me of a time that he did lose a friendship connection. Sophomore year of college Roy and this friend had been hanging out and smoking marijuana as they usually would do. Roy left for work and an hour later he got a call saying that his friend had accidentally shot and killed himself. This experience was eye DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE LENS OF OTHERS 11 opening for Roy; he knew that he didnt want to lead this life and sustain the friendships he has made that are potentially very dangerous for him. According to our text, the number one cause of death for Latino American male adolescents is firearms, something Roy experienced firsthand. Fortunately Roy realized that these deaths are preventable and that it is up to him to make better decisions. Knowledge, education, and work. When asked where he learned the most, Roy said that hands down in college. It is through his classes and interactions with others that he has learned his most valuable lessons, such as experiencing the loss of his friend and realizing that he needs to make some changes. As for work, Roy mentioned that he doesnt know what he wants to do yet; he has settled for working part-time at Sprint, but this is not something he wants to do forever. Super developed a theory of occupational development that outlines a progression of five stages in obtaining an occupational role that coincides with the persons changing self-concept. I believe Roy is in the implementation phase, when people take a series of temporary jobs to learn firsthand about work roles and to try out some possible career choices (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2010, p. 432). Through his part-time work and continued studies in college I am sure that Roy will find something that he enjoys and will turn it into a career. Moral development. Working through tough moral dilemmas has been a struggle for him. He says that weekly he deals with having to make the right vs. wrong decision. When I asked him how he does or thinks he should do it, he says that he thinks of his parents. For it is his parents that have been great role models, modeling the right way to deal with moral dilemmas. Banduras social learning theory states people learn simply by watching those around them (Kail & DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE LENS OF OTHERS 12 Cavanaugh, 2010, p. 12). I tried to apply his moral reasoning to Kohlbergs theory, but the two didnt fit, he has learned and makes his decisions by modeling what his parents do. Spiritual development. Several times throughout our interview, Roy mentioned that he learned how to do things, such as having God in his life, through learning from his parents. Since Roy grew up in a Christian household he is a believer in Christianity. Vygotskys theory emphasizes, childrens thinking does not develop in a vacuum but rather is influenced by the sociocultural context in which children grow up (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2010, p. 15). For the people of Peru, religion is very important and is recognized as an important element in their culture and moral development. I am sure this led Roys mother to believing in God and teaching Roy His ways. The cultural context that both Roys mom and Roy grew up in has influenced their spiritual development. Counseling Context Applying Bronfenbrenners ecological theory to Roy is useful in gaining a better perspective on how to counsel someone who has many of the same struggles as Roy. At the micro level I would make sure that he is surrounded by positive influences. People in Roys microsystem strongly influence his development and being aware of who is in it may be helpful. At the meso level I could provide positive ethnic support groups at school or encourage Roy to become active in extracurricular activities. At the state level I can advocate for schools to implement No Bullying Laws and instate harsh rules concerning social equality with punishment if not followed. At the macro level I can advocate for social justice, in hopes of increasing the awareness that this is a problem and needs to change. Perhaps Roy seeing this DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE LENS OF OTHERS 13 will give him more confidence to do the same thing and break down the barriers he has established about who and whom he cant hang out with. Summary To conclude this essay I give my personal reactions to the interviews, discuss the reflection of my life experiences in relation to the interviews, and emphasize the importance of understanding others life experiences through the lifespan. For me Fabiolas interview made a lasting impression; her trust and faith in God is greater than anyone I have met. Both interviews deepened my knowledge on the Peruvian culture and provided me insight to how others perceive their own lifespan construct. This process proved very informative and I was easily able to note many differences in our experiences. The interviews also made me aware of the similarities in our development. Although my two interviewees and I vary greatly in our experiences we share the need for close relationships with others, engaging in complex ways of thinking to solve moral dilemmas, and changes through time in our own identity development. Being aware of these themes will help when counseling; Ill know that people can struggle with forming an identity and lacking secure relationships with others can be very troubling and even detrimental to their mental health. To be a prepared, skilled, ethical, and a multiculturally competent counselor it is my duty to raise my awareness of others. By interviewing people with two differing elements of identity from my own, I was able to look at development through their lens and then apply what I learned to what I could do for them in counseling. Hearing others lifespan construct and struggles and formulating ways I can help them at the micro-, meso-, exo-, and macrosystem levels is something that I will do as a future counselor daily. It is with this intent that I will approach my future job as school counselor. DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE LENS OF OTHERS 14 References Kail, R. V., & Cavanaugh, J. C. (2010). Human Development A Life-Span View. (5 th ed.) Belmont, CA: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning.
DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE LENS OF OTHERS 15 Appendix Questions for Interview #1 Identity Development 1. What factors or experiences helped shape your identity? 2. Is your identity static or does it change based on situations, cultural context, roles, etc.? Relationship with Others 3. Who is included in your support system? 4. Who do you consider part of your family? 5. How has your relationship with your parents evolved over time? Knowledge, Education, and Work 6. When/where did you learn the most? 7. How did you decide on your career? Spiritual Development 8. What part does religion/spirituality have in your life? 9. What or who influenced your spiritual/religious beliefs? Moral Development 10. I am going to describe a situation to you and I want you to tell me who you think is wrong in the situation. There is a pharmacist who develops a drug for lung cancer. It is very effective and he prices it very high knowing that people will want to but it and that he can make a lot of money. A mans wife has lung cancer and she will die if she does not get this drug, but the couple cannot afford to buy it. The man goes one night and steals the amount of drug his wife will need to survive. 11. How do you decide what is right and wrong? DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE LENS OF OTHERS 16 Questions for Interview #2 Identity Development 1. What factors or experiences helped shape your identity? 2. How do others perceive you? 3. What do you like most/least about your identity? Relationship with Others 4. Who do you consider part of your family? 5. Tell me about your siblings. Who are you closest to? 6. Who was your role model as a child? 7. How would you define a good relationship? Knowledge, Education, and Work 8. What does your education mean to you? 9. When/where did you learn the most? 10. How did you decide on your career? Moral Development 11. How do you decide what is right and wrong? 12. Is there a time when you faced a moral dilemma? Spiritual Development 13. What part does religion/spirituality have in your life? 14. How do you see your religion/spirituality changing over time?