Monologue

Play: Durata medie de viata a masinilor de spalat / The average life of washing
machines

Character: Tata/ The father
Do you have a soul mate? Anybody has one only that it can happen that you are in !omania and
your soul mate is in the "ew #ealand$ That means you had bad luc%$ That&s it$ My soul mate is the
very Madonna$ "o matter how much Madonna she is she has to have a soul mate li%e everybody
else$ And that is me' ( wrote to her for ) or * years$ ( told her that the guy she was married to was a
profiteer and that she should bra%e up with him$ Did she listen to me? +he did' +he divorced last
year' ( as%ed her to come and sing in !omania$ Did she come? +he did' +he does e,actly what ( tell
her to do$ +o ( went to meet her$ -ellll that concert. actually ( sat way behind and ( couldn&t see a
thing$ /ut at one time.$ /011111' An e,plosion$ And than ( did see' 2n the scene there was a
colored dot that was moving li%e this tiunng tiuungg from one place to another$ That was her$ After
the concert ( wanted to get bac% to that scene and as% Madonna out to a restaurant$ ( told the
bodyguards that ( was an ac3uaintance of hers and that they should let me pass$ And bam ( wo%e up
with a fist in my face from one of those niggers$ And than ( felt pissed off and ( hit him too$ ( hit he
hit ( hit he hit and then. ( don&t %now anymore$ ( slept in that par% where the concert was$ -hen (
wo%e up and ( remembered what happened ( got so angry that ( went straight to Madonna&s hotel and
as%ed for her$ And that woman from the reception she was more sour than a pic%le' 1irst she made
one of those faces as if ( as%ed her to marry me or something$ Afterwards she told me that there was
no Madonna staying in that hotel$ ( told her ( wasn&t leaving until they as% her to come$ An than
what do you thin% the stupid did? +he as%ed the bodyguards to come and throw me out of the hotel$
And they beat me too$ +o ( wanted to stay outside the hotel and see when Madonna was coming out$
+he had to come out at one point didn&t she? /ut ( thin% ( fell asleep and ( lost her$ +he left that
bitch' Do you understand me? ( felt that she wasn&t around anymore$ That&s how it is with soul
mates they feel each other around and ( didn&t feel her anymore$ +he left to +ofia to see another
one$