Reginald G. Walker J r.

April 23, 2012

U.S. History from Post-Civil War Era
Dr. S. Asperheim

Doubt Due to Experience

With Anne Moodys closing remarks in her autobiography, she issued words of doubt
during the famous March on Washington. I WONDER. I really WONDER (Moody 424) were
those exact words. She was wondering if blacks would ever overcome inequality and live freely.
This statement is strong when realizing all Moody had been through over her lifetime, from
childhood to movement. She broke her life experience down into four categories which enabled
the reader to walk in her shoes during her times of travail and prevail. These times ultimately led
her to wondering and pondering upon the reality of blacks actually being set free. Anne Moodys
experience caused her to doubt the thought of blacks ever becoming free.
This doubt could actually be considered as a matriculation of her thought process from
adolescent to adult. As a child, she seen the electric lights were coming on in Mr. Carters big
white house as all the Negro shacks down in the bottom began to fade with the darkness. Once it
was completely dark, the lights in Mr. Carters house looked even brighter, like a big lighted
castle. It seemed like the only house on the whole plantation (Moody 5). Essie Mae was
curious, wondering why the Negroes didnt have that leisure of lighting up the entire plantation
as the whites castle did. Attempting to comprehend why most evenings after the Negroes had
come from the fields, washed and eaten, they would sit on their porches, look up toward Mr.
Carters house and talk[mama] would point out all the brightly lit rooms (Moody 5). These
images could be confusing to a child not knowing the reasons why.
Why Daddy left mama for a fair-skinned woman---then one Sunday morning before he
got home one of the women on the farm came by the house to tell Mama that he was spending
the weekends with FlorenceFlorence was a mulatto, high yellow with straight black hair. She
was the envy of all the women on the plantation (Moody 11). She described mama as a slim,
tall, and tawny-skinned, with high cheekbones and long dark hair [and] was by and far the
liveliest woman on the plantation and Daddy used to delight her (Moody 11). At this age, Anne
could not understand why Daddy left Mama (a darker-skinned woman) who he once loved for
Florence (a lighter-skinned woman). In a sense, it was like Daddy was abandoning his own kind
(black) for another kind (mixed with white). If Moody would have been older at this time, she
would have referenced to him as a coward and acting scared.
Moody voiced her opinion via thought during her first year in high school upon hearing
about the death of Emmett Till from classmates at school instead of through her mothers lips.
Upon asking her mother about the news of 14-year old Emmett Till, her mother despised that
kind of talking around her and instructed Anne not to bring it up during her time at work with
Mrs. Burke (Moody 127-130). Moody stated, Why is Mama acting so scared (Moody 130)? At
a young age, she started to induce hatred towards whites and even people of her own race
because of their cowardliness---it was at this stage in my life that I began to look upon Negro
men as cowards (Moody 136).
This was also the start of Moody beginning to doubt in her own kind (blacks) because of
their inactivity to retaliate against the whites. She was relatively young:
I was fifteen years old when I began to hate people. I hated the white men who
murdered Emmett Till and I hated all the other whites who were responsible for the
countless murders Mrs. Rice (introduced Anne into the harsh reality with knowledge that
Anne could not obtain at home due to her mothers fear and Mrs. Rice also introduced
knowledge of the NAACP to Anne) had told me about and those I vaguely remembered
from childhood. But I also hated Negroes. I hated them for not standing up and doing
something about the murders. In fact, I think I had a strong resentment toward Negroes
for letting the whites kill them than toward the whites (Moody 137).
Soon, Moody started to see firsthand the reactions of the white community. Emmett Tills
murder provoked a lot of anger and excitement among whites in CentrevilleMrs. Burke (white
woman Moody worked for) had to attend a guild meeting. She had more women coming over
now than ever. She and her friends had organized canvassing teams and a telephone campaign, to
solicit for new membersAfter the Guild had organized about two-thirds of the whites in
Centreville, all kinds of happenings were unveiled (Moody 136-137). Moody seen whites begin
to start their own get-togethers like that of the NAACP in Centreville.
Fast forward to Moodys college years, Anne begin to get involve with the Tougaloo
(college she attended) chapter of the NAACP (Moody 270). Not only that organization but
SNCC and CORE were also the organizations that she was involved in lending a helping hand
for equality of blacks. This pursuance of what Moody thought would lead to achievement was
scrutinized by her family back home in Centreville. Her mother send back a reply to Annes
letter with tears warning her not attend the upcoming convention for NAACP (Moody 284). Her
sister, Adline, sent a letter cursing Anne out, implying that Anne was trying to get every Negro
in Centreville murdered (Moody 299). Anne still refused to quit, I wouldnt have missed it for
anything (referring to the NAACP convention), but her support system back home was
deteriorated. Moody had to rely on the people of her school and organizations for support
because she did not receive any from home because she wanted to assist in obtaining freedom for
all. During my senior year at Tougaloo, my family hadnt sent me one penny (Moody 286);
however, money was sent to persuade and contribute to Moody leaving the NAACP movement:
She even sent ten dollars for bus fare to New Orleans. I didnt have one penny, so I kept the
money (Moody 291).
Anne started to be furious with her mother as well: Mamas letter made me mad. I had
to live my life as I saw fit. I had made that decision when I left home (Moody 292). She was
struck in between a rock and a hard place because she had to fight for what she believed in and
ignore her mothers traditional, outdated ways of doing things. Freedom is what Moody was after
so she had to proclaim and give it out that she had even through the doubt of her family.
Her doubt continued to matriculate towards the movement because during the
Woolworths sit in, she seen whites mistreating whites that look to help blacks. Those whites that
wanted to help were called Communists, Communists, Communists (Moody 289) and they
would take as much of a beaten as blacks. There were now four of us, two whites and two
Negroes, all women. The mob started smearing us with ketchup, mustard, sugar, pies, and
everything on the counter. Soon J oan and I were joined by J ohn Salter (in charge of NAACP
activities for Tougaloos chapter), but the moment he sat down he was hit on the jaw with what
appeared to be brass knuckles. Blood gushed from his face and some threw salt into the open
wound (Moody 289). This violence was showcased due to the simple fact that blacks wanted to
eat at the counter with whites. Nowadays, this activity is almost unimaginable.
Slowly but surely, Moody was beginning to lose faith in the movement and her
involvement could have been portrayed as in vain. After Reverend King and some other
ministers were being taken to jail along with Moody: There were fourteen of us, seven whites
and seven Negroes. We walked out front and stood and bowed our heads as the ministers begin
to pray. We were immediately interrupted by the appearance of Captain Raymost of were not
prepared to go to jail [but]we had no other choice but to be arrested (Moody 295). The point
that they were rested was not the key component of this quote because almost all blacks were
being arrested for promoting equality; but the look of the leaders gave Moody more to begin to
doubt about and wonder if mother and sister were correct and maybe Anne shouldve listened
and avoided it all but escaping to New Orleans. After we go to jail we were mugged and
fingerprinted, then taken to a cell. Most of the ministers were scared stiff. This was the first time
some of them had seen the inside of a jailI just got my kicks out of sitting there looking at the
ministers. Some of them looked so pitiful, I thought they would cry any minute, and here they
were, supposed to be our leaders (Moody 295-296). This caused doubt and confusion because
they were in need of strong leaders but it seemed as if they were becoming fearful in the eyes of
Anne.
Moody thought the movement needed determined individuals to fight off the white
movement. Especially, in a time when cops are sending dogs after high school students and their
parents: students at Lanier High School had started singing freedom songswhen the cops
came, they brought dogs. The students refused to go back to their classrooms when asked, so the
cops turned the dogs loose on themmothers who lived near the school had joined the students
in fighting off the dogs (Moody 297). She figured if mothers could fight off ferocious dogs, the
leaders could survive in jail. Even if the movement was being discussed as the equivalent to Nazi
Germany by some (Moody 298).
All in all, Moody seen their leader in J ackson of the NAACP get killed by whites and
nothing was done about it. Not even blacks volunteered at J ackson State (Moody 301). She felt
that the leaders that were in place were too political and the nonviolent approach was ineffective.
The ending quotation uttered I WONDER, I really WONDER (Moody 424) was a
matriculation of everything that Anne saw, heard and experienced throughout her life. From her
Daddy leaving her Mama for a fair-skinned woman, to whites disliking other whites because
they wanted to help blacksfrom blacks not standing up for themselves to the lynching of
Emmett Tillfrom the death of J ackson NAACP leader to the March on Washington and the
singing of We Shall Overcome. Moody had seen a lot so her doubt became strong because she
had not really seen any form of overcoming all her life and to think it would come now was
asininity and insanity in her mind.


Works Cited
Moody, Anne. (1968). Coming of Age in Mississippi. New York: Random House.