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Bein Adam Le-Chavero: Ethics of Interpersonal Conduct
By: Rav Binyamin Zimmerman
Before embarking on the journey to acquire a new appreciation of the interpersonal
mitzvot, we must be aware of the challenge involved in studying them. There are at least
three difficulties to overcome before we can hope that mastering these laws will lead to
their internalization.
1) The lack of appreciation of their importance
We have cited many sources to emphasize the significance of these laws, for the simple
reason that many often believe otherwise. Numerous commentators have remarked on
the common assumption that one can be a good Jew if one carefully adheres to the
mitzvot bein adam la-Makom, even if one is remiss in fulfilling mitzvot bein adam
le-chavero. The Chatam Sofer, for example, writes:
We have found righteous and upstanding individuals who will readily sacrifice
themselves for the slightest detail and nuance of mitzvot bein adam la-Makom, but when
it comes to interpersonal relationships they are extremely lenient, for not everyone is
capable of foregoing [what they feel is] their full share. (Derashot, p. 245)

Many fail to realize that one who is negligent in his or her interpersonal mitzvot has not
only violated mitzvot of the Torah, but has also shown a basic misunderstanding of the
totality of the Torah. It is the Torah itself that elevates mitzvot bein adam le-chavero to
an essential part of our existence. A Torah Jew is a Jew committed to God and to the
way the Torah tells us to deal with our fellow man; it is the Torah itself that stresses these
mitzvot.
2) The sheer difficulty involved in these laws
Many find the ritual laws much easier to adhere to than the ones that involve other human
beings. It is often far easier to cede to God than to view oneself as ceding to ones
fellow.

3) The need for mastery in this area
The need to be meticulous in the fulfillment of these mitzvot adds to their difficulty. As
we shall see, more than specific overarching commands, this area of Halakha is marked
by principles, and their fulfillment is very situational; different circumstances carry
different requirements. Mastery of these laws requires a firm understanding of human
nature and the ability to apply the principles to the various predicaments that arise.
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#rxv ,t tmn, Rabbi Jonathon Sacks and the Two types of Hatred cajnc .
.ohrmn ,t tku ekng ,t shnavk hbc ,t vum wv gusn ,(ex cr hpk
8) http://www.yutorah.org/search/ :Choose one article on Hatred and summarize in essay format.
Provide Modern Day examples of Hatred.
-
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v!v rusc ah ot hbvhn, "vhr!g ic r!gkt hcr rnt /lhbhg ihcn vrue ku# uk rnt ,lhbhg
vek ohngp vcrva (rtu ohna hkg hbt shgn "hrub ic ibjuh hcr rntu /jhfuvk gsuha
vn ohhek ,vcvt uc h,pxuva ifa kfu kthkn icr hbpk uhkg kcue h,hhva ,hsh kg tcheg
/lcvthu ofjk jfuv ltbah ip (k jfu, kt /w# hkan/ "rntba
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/truuj h,tu tenux kh!ts vhk tbh!js ,,rnt te rhpa "vhk rnt
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tcv "iv uktu /ihkug ihtu ihsruha vakan (uj ,ohkug obvhk ihsruhv kf /// "tbhbj
////urhcjk gr oa vbfnvu ,ohcrc urhcj hbp ihcknvu ,aht ,at kg
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ohcrc urhcj hbp ihckh hgkmcu ch,fs htn "tcr arss /tcr arssn - .ik tbn - /
"tuv lurc ausev hbpk sus rnt //v"k ohkv,/ uns tku ugre ///upxtbu ujna
,,ua hns vhv tk hrac ohgren uhv ota lhbpk gushu huk ,okug ka ubucr
tcv ,sus "hk ohrnut ,ukvtu ohgbc ihexuga vgac ukhpt tkt ,sug tku /(rtk
- .vnc u,,hn aht ,at kg okugk ekj uk ahu )ebjc u,,hn :ovk rnut hbtu
tcv okugk ekj uk iht - ohcrc urhcj hbp ,t ihcknv kct )tcv "/

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j vfkv rntba ubnhkfha sg ,uae uk rcsh tk vkj, urhcj ,t jhfunv " ta, tku
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ktrah ,t ohkfvk ostk ruxta itfn urhcj ,t ohkfnva p"gt ,ohcrc ifa kfu
ekj uk iht ohcrc urhcj hbp ihcknv ohnfj urnt lf ,tuv kus iug uhkg veuk ubht
tku ,kus ihc i#e ihc ohcrc urhcj ahhck tka rv!vk ost lhrm lfhpk ,tcv okugk
,ubnn auc tuva rcs uhbpk rpxh tku ,ubnn auc tuva oac uk treh
uc r!j tk ot ohna hrcsc kct ,urhcjk ost ihca ohrcsc .ohrunt ohrcs vnc
ihkkenu ih!cnu uhbpc u,ut ohprjnu ut#j ohnxrpnu ohcrc u,ut ihnhkfn r,xc
/ktrahc ohthcbv kf uaga unf c#unk ru!jha sg u,ut
n"r vumn lubhjv rpx & (oukhm)
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uvuchtfha ohrcs ktrahk rntb tka rnukf ,ohrcsc ktrahn sjt ,ubuvk tka
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ihtc ohtkj uhv ,ohbuatrv lhagn ruf! uk rnth tk vcua, kgc vhv ot ,smhf
vtr /wuu l,kxf l,trh tkv ,Iwu ,wsH cuhtk uhrcj urnta lrsf uk rnth tk uhkg
tku ,uk ihta gsuh tuvu hbukp kmt ufk ovk rnth tk ,vtuc, ohaecn ohrnj
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/u,hng ,t aht ubu,
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tka IoaH urnta sg rcsc uhkpvu ,oahhck tku rcs ouac ,uhrcv chtfvk
/ohns uk ihta vgac jenv kg uhbhg vk,h
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vcrvu /,uhrcv ckk stn vae rcs tuva hpk ,ohrcsv ,tbutc vcrv vshpev
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sjt kf kct ,,uhrck rgm ivc aha ohrcsv kf #rp cu,fk raptc vhvh tku /wuu
kfu uh,ughxp kf gsuh tuv tuv lurc oav hf ,vtrha vn hpf rv!vk lhrm
oburf! ubk uc,f ohagn vnfu /cckk vtrh tuvu ohbhgk vtrh ostv hf ,uh,u!hnr
/tghmnn hghcr erpc ihbgv rehgu ,rxun v! kg snkk oharsnc vfrck
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uarhpa i,utc ,ohrcsc urhcj ,t chtfvu v! kg rcugu /sucfu vfrc ohhj tmnh
iht kct ,v! utk kg rcg /ivc tmuhfcu vkujcu vcua, kgcc vfrck oburf! ohnfj
iustv shc kg ka vgumr hkcn ,uhekn vnfu /vagn uc ihta hpk uhkg iheuk
/vkg,hu lrc,h ,v! kg vumnv
ohrcsc urhcj rgmk gharvu khj,vu sjt ktrah tc ota gnanc iht ,vnusv hpk okutu
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/oh#uav kg ck ,,k ihtu ,ohrunv
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tanv lhkahu uhpurhjn ohgnuav kt unmg kmbhu ,jubh ohkhxf ehjc xgf hf ,vcrv xgfh tku
/ost hbcca ohcu#v lrs uv! ,'rjnv kg
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uk ah hf ,urhcj shn ihe!bv kucxk ostv chhj,b tka epx ihta ,uruvku ohsevk ,r,jnc
kmbvk kufh tuva rcs kfc ,lu,u ,unrn tkn rat uvhp hrcsn if unfu ,ushn kmbvk ,uar
/ubnn
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rnut cu,fv ovhkg ,ihchan obhtu o,prj ihgnua ,ihckug obhtu ihckgbv Ic"g j"p ,caH
/u,rucc anav ,tmf uhcvutu It"k ,wv oh#puaH
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tku oka ckc i,h kutak uk tuchaf tkt ,oeub v! hrv lnn h,ktaaf hb,ktav
tmuhf kf ifu ukn ratf uk kunh
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uk rntu ubnn rufak ut ubnn kutak icutrk iugna tc ohnhk ,iugna vmr tku
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oukhm+ c"nru t"nr vumn lubhjv rpx &
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/wuu tb ta tbt 'xuhk urnt, vf wuu
/wuu hbrvu kuta gnau lkt lht ktuna rnthuu "rntba ,vumn "rnut i,b wr
,ie! hbustu! "ch,f trehgns ,uc vbha tuv lurc ausev 'ta ,oukav kus "tb, ktgnah hcr hcs
/h,be! hbtu "ch,f 'uxcku
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ka u,gs tv, okugk ohnfj urnt itfn uhbhgc ubjcah rnut huv uhbhgc ubbh ut uhbhgc ubjcah
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v ov vn /c ohekj vga, rpx hpk rea ka okug ,ufhkv .
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"vr! vsucg scug ukhtf uruchsc 'hkjnv kf" (c
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"ucvut ,ntc urhcja sjt kfk rnuk vbha iurvta k"!j urthcu" (v
/sjt kf ka ruenvu i,b wru tgkht wr ihc ,eukjnv rtc /t (G
.uruchsc vbha wv 'ta ohtur vpht /c
.kkv ,hc hrcsn reak ruxhtv hck ohsnuk vn /
/ovhrcs ,ubak ohnfjk r,un ovca ohrcsv ,aka rtc /t (M
/vren kfk trcxv rtc /c
/NNNNNNNNot uruchsc ,ubak kufh ost okug ,ufhkvv hpk "oufhxk ohkkf vaka hc,f /
10) Read the article Should Moral Individuals Ever Lie? Insights from Jewish
Law by Hershey H. Friedman, Ph.D. and Abraham C. Weisel, Esq.
(http://jlaw.com/Articles/hf_LyingPermissible.html)
a) Provide 5 examples of situations where one is permitted to lie.
b) What is the first question a person is asked in tcv okug at the final
judgment?
11) Select an advertisement from a magazine or newspaper, or from radio or
TV. Analyze it for honesty:
Does it explicitly say anything you think is untrue? Is it trying to make
you believe something that might not be true? Is it lying by omission,
i.e. leaving out important information that would make a difference to
you? Is it misleading in any way? Does it present any half-truths?
b) Take any political speech (especially a campaign speech) and analyze
it in the same way.
(O
a)
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( c erp ,ugs ,ufkv o"cnr
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cvrxh tku ,v#uja ka kgbn ouenc v,n ka kgbn tku ,v#uja rac ouenc vkhcb rac hrfbk
tku ,kcen ubhta gsuh tuvu ,cure,c uk vcrh tku ,kfut ubhta gsuh tuvu ukmt kftha urhcjc
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/ruxt ohrcsc
e"id diictv awri 'x icia jxrp
okug ,ufhkv * y"h-s"h :u"f inhx
Further Resources:

- wk inhx van ,urt ,"ua
Regarding certain yeshibot that allowed their students to get the answers to the Regents Exams.
!< lunf lgrk rpxn ohren
:,ukta
(s"h 'hgx) .v! ruxht vub hnc .,gs ,chb ruxht thv vn (1

(u"# 'hgx) /,utnus hb, .,gs ,chb ouan ,uagk ruxt vn
(j"h 'hgx) .lkhcac sjuhn v!a rnuk okufk ,ujbv i,uba rjuxk ruxt vnk
(#"h 'hgx) .oru v! vn .ijcnc ,unrk ruxt vnk (&

Possible Triggers:
Show a brief 3 minute clip on Cheating, Lying & Honor in America's High Schools,
Colleges & Universities
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tc103Z1hSQs
2) Read an article concerning the high percentage of student who cheat in America:
Link:
http://articles.cnn.com/2002-04-05/us/highschool.cheating_1_plagiarism-cheating-students?_s=P
M:fyi
3) Show a clip concerning a cheating scandal in Alanta where teachers and principals were
found to have altered students answers on exams!
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqrQsCBZxQg
Follow any of these with a discussion regarding cheating in school.
Can cheating in High School lead to cheating in other areas?
Would they ever cheat in college? IS it any different?
______________________________________________________________________________
4) Discussion:
Do you ever give off a false image/conception purposely? Why? Why would want to make
people believe something about you thats not true? What are the consequences?
($
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t#uja khcac v! kf /,uasj,n ,urh!u ,ucr ,urm vp kucb t#j khcaca v! hbpk rnt lfku
ostv kf tuva hbpnu ,ostv kf tuva vrumc rcsn hj ostv hf ostv hvhuw xkebut our, ifa
lfhpku ,rcsn hj tuva ost tuva vnc ostv kf vbv ,tkknn jurk tabt ,uvu - wvhj apbk
/v! t#j khcac ,uasj,n ,ucr ,urma itfc rnt
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ohbp ,u#g - ,hbavu ,ohgrv ohkcbv ,sn thva ktrah ase ,t kkj hf "(u ,s ohrcs) rntba ,
' v#v kusdv hudv iucbu ofj og er urntu ' lrsn ohejurnv ohxtnbv ohkfxv lrs kg vb v!u ,
,ocg,h cg,u omeah (ea iucbu ofj kfu ,o,bjm kg,u oatc vkgu ,ohgb 't vph ukufa kfav
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:t"h erp ohrah ,khxn ( ",uhebv ,sn h#rpc "vkgnk ubtcva -vatv og ruchsv ihbgc"
u,ut gnua tk sjt %taf ruxt v# otv . ?
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treb ost hbpk tka whpt vurg hukc lkuva hn unf kucb f" treb ubhck ubhc whpt uhp kcbn ot lfhpku
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v vfrc v!htu vkp,u vkgnk ihkce,n ihta iuhnyk lkuv tuv kf kkf okug ka ufkn rmutc
*
e"id diictv awri 'x icia jxrp
Further Resources:
ybe inhx t ekj ,ubye ,ufkv ,"ua !
:vkta /hpus uc iht rjt ouencu kuubn tuv wt iuakca rucs
:vcua, t"t hf tuv xutnv ruchsvu vpv ,ukcb kkfcu r,un rucs ruxt ruvrv urnth
"ruvrv hshk tch tka uhpn uthmuvc
2) Article: Cursing: A Halachic Analysis
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/article.php?p=77856
3) Article: What the heck? Casual cursing by teens is rising
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/695256046/What-the-heck-Casual-cursing-by-teens-is-risin
g.html?pg=all
4) Article & Video in Hebrew: ,xbfv hnutbn asujk ejruv hch# f"j "",ukkeu vp kuchb"
Cursing:http://www.globes.co.il/news/article.aspx?did=1000722806
5) A comprehensive list of Hebrew Sources from Chaburat Ner Gavriel:
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&ved=0CDAQFjAA&url=http%3
A%2F%2Fwww.nergavriel.org%2Fuploads%2F%25D7%2593%25D7%2595%25D7%25A8%2520%25D7%259
4%25D7%259E%25D7%259C%25D7%25A7%25D7%2598%25D7%2599%25D7%259D%2F%25D7%259E
%25D7%25A8%25D7%2590%25D7%2599%2520%25D7%259E%25D7%25A7%25D7%2595%25D7%259E
%25D7%2595%25D7%25AA%2F%25D7%259C%25D7%25A9%25D7%2595%25D7%259F%2520%25D7%
25A0%25D7%25A7%25D7%2599%25D7%2594.doc&ei=bc4OUfDpCPKK0QHOsIEg&usg=AFQjCNF4MzV
KArMAVWIr4oDy0AT_3F4Qtg&bvm=bv.41867550,d.dmQ
6) Sources in English
Masechet Shabbat 33A- QUOTE 1:
Obscene language causes calamities to increase and new harsh decrees against Jews and the
men of Israel die young, and orphans and widows cry out and are not answered as it says.
Therefore the Lord will take no pleasure in the young men, nor will he pity the fatherless and
widows, for everyone is ungodly and wicked, every mouth speaks vileness. And for all this, his
anger is not turned away, his hand is still upraised.
QUOTE 2:
Rabbi Chanan bar Raba taught:
Everyone knows why a bride enters the chupah to become married, but if anyone perverts his
speech by actually speaking about it, then even if [the heavenly court] had sealed a favorable
decree of 70 years for him, they will reverse it and decree evil for him instead.
QUOTE 3:
Rabah bar Shilah taught in the name of Rabbi Chisdah:
Anyone who speaks obscene language, Gehinom [Hell] is deepened for him as it says.
The mouth of strange women is a deep pit: he that is abhorred of G-d shall fall therein.
e"id diictv awri 'x icia jxrp
Guide to the Perplexed: (Section 3:Chapter 8)
You know how we condemn lowness of speech, and justly so, for speech is likewise peculiar to
man and a goodness which G-d granted to him that he may be distinguished from the rest of
living creatures. Thus God says, "Who gave a mouth to man?" (Exod. iv. 11); and the prophet
declares, "The Lord God hath given me a learned tongue" (Isa. l. 4).
This gift, therefore, which God gave us in order to enable us to perfect ourselves, to learn and to
teach, must not be employed in doing that which is for us most degrading and perfectly
disgraceful; we must not imitate the songs and tales of ignorant and lascivious people. It may be
suitable to them, but is not fit for those who are told, "And ye shall be unto me a kingdom of
priests and a holy nation" (Exod. xix. 6).
Those who employ the faculty of thinking and speaking in the service of that sense which is no
honour to us, who think more than necessary of drink and love, or even sing of these things: they
employ and use the divine gift in acts of rebellion against the Giver, and in the transgression of
His commandments. To them the following words may be applied: "And I multiplied her silver
and gold, which they prepared for Baal" (Hos. ii. 10). I have also a reason and cause for calling
our language the holy language--do not think it is exaggeration or error on my part, it is perfectly
correct--the Hebrew language has no special name for the organ of generation in females or in
males, nor for the act of generation itself, nor for semen, nor for secretion.
The Hebrew has no original expressions for these things, and only describes them in figurative
language and by way of hints, as if to indicate thereby that these things should not be mentioned,
and should therefore have no names; we ought to be silent about them, and when we are
compelled to mention them, we must manage to employ for that purpose some suitable
expressions, although these are generally used in a different sense. Thus the organ of generation
in males is called in Hebrew gid, which is a figurative term, reminding of the words, "And thy
neck is an iron sinew" (gid) (Isa. xlviii. 4). It is also called shupka, "pouring out" (Deut. xxiii. 2),
on account of its function. The female organ is called kobah (Num. xxv. 8), from kobah (Deut.
xviii. 3), which denotes "stomach"; re?em, "womb," is the inner organ in which the ftus
develops; ?oah (Isa. xxviii. 8), "refuse," is derived from the verb ya?a, "he went out"; for "urine"
the phrase meme raglayim, "the water of the feet" (2 Kings. xviii. 17), is used; semen is
expressed by shikbat zera, "a layer of seed."
For the act of generation there is no expression whatever in Hebrew: it is described by the
following words only: baal, "he was master"; shakab, "he lay"; la?ah, "he took"; gillah ervah,
"he uncovered the nakedness." Be not misled by the word yishgalennah (Deut. xxviii. 30), to
take it as denoting that act: this is not the case, for shegal denotes a female ready for
cohabitation. Comp. "Upon thy right hand did stand the maiden" (shegal) "in gold of Ophir" (Ps.
xlv. 10). Yishgalennah, according to the Kethib, denotes therefore "he will take the female for
the purpose of cohabitation."
e"id diictv awri 'x icia jxrp
e"id diictv awri 'x icia jxrp