Watching the Tape

Wicked Awesome Learning Opportunity #2

Like many people, I cringe when I hear a recording of my own voice. Watching myself on screen
is a surreal and sometimes off-putting experience. Im not exactly sure why so people are so
averse to hearing and seeing themselves. Perhaps theyre discouraged when their perception
of themselves doesnt match the recorded version? Perhaps they dont want to witness
themselves making a mistake? Perhaps its simply too jarring to see the body they inhabit
existing in another space and time? Whatever the cause, confronting oneself on tape takes a
little courage.

While some teachers suffer from videophobia, others embrace the opportunity to view footage
of their lessons. In fact, I know many teachers who say that watching themselves teach is the
best thing theyve ever done to advance their practice. During my tenure as a classroom
teacher, I never managed to organize a video recording of myself. Part of the reason, I imagine,
was fear of what I might see. This year, however, I am devoted to developing my practice, and
videotape provides a useful tool for achieving that goal. After more than four years in
education, it is finally time to watch myself teach.

With the support of my teaching partner, Trisha Magoon, I recorded myself teaching a lesson,
and then we analysed the tape together. The whole experience was slightly nerve-wracking -
the sign of a genuine WALO, I might add - especially since I knew Id be watching the tape with
a respected colleague. What if the lesson was a complete failure? If so, I would be
embarrassed twice. What if I discovered that aspects of my teaching were misguiding students
(and had been for years)? If so, I would be devastated! I would have to move beyond this
debilitating self-consciousness and adopt a growth mindset. Inevitably, I would see myself
making mistakes; the point of this exercise was to learn from them.

Since literacy is an area of interest, I decided to film myself delivering a read aloud. At first, it
seemed like a pedestrian choice. Wouldnt an engineering challenge or an investigative math
lesson be more interesting to watch? I pondered. A read aloud works well, however, because
it reveals a great deal about the teachers presence, teaching style, and relationships with
students. I selected Dog Breath, a humorous story about a stinky dog who becomes a
celebrated vigilante. As part of our unit on fiction, the lesson focused on identifying and
explaining the events in a story. While veteran teachers may breeze through read alouds with
aplomb, I organize my thoughts methodically and figure out how Im going to connect the story
with the learning goals. In short, Im a planner! The day before the lesson, I stuck post-it notes
all over the book, reminding me of questions to ask and ideas to point out. Although I knew the
lesson could change course in an instant, I felt ready.

During the lesson, I had the sinking feeling that it was not going well. While all twenty-two
students were glued to the pages and enjoying the books comedic tone, I caught myself
making little mistakes long pauses, skipping over words, ignoring minor misbehaviors that I
might have addressed. It hadnt felt like a smooth performance. After dismissing the class for
lunch, I was in a downbeat mood, and it prevented me from communicating clearly with Trisha.
Over the past few weeks, I had not been feeling great about my teaching. Although I had been
preparing adequately, my execution felt a little off, and this lesson fit the trend.

I put off watching the video for several days. Abandoning a growth mindset, I didnt want to
remind myself how I had mishandled the lesson. The night before my debrief session with
Trisha, I finally dragged myself in front of the computer to watch the footage. I wanted to be
familiar with my weaknesses so they did not come as a shock. For a few seconds, my finger
hovered over the keyboard. Then, I pressed play.

Considering my expectations, I was pleasantly surprised by the next twenty-five minutes. The
lesson was far from perfect, but it certainly wasnt a disaster. I started jotting down notes,
most of which were positive. I was asking thoughtful questions, enforcing norms, and speaking
with a genuine, friendly tone. All of the students seemed interested in the book, and many
were eager to participate in the discussion. I noticed a few verbal ticks, which I was aware of
before watching the video, but they did not hold me back. All of sudden, I didnt feel so anxious
about my upcoming meeting with Trisha.

The next days debrief session was positive and constructive. I confessed to Trisha how I had
been a little hard on myself, and she explained that she often felt the same way about her own
teaching. I wonder how common this sentiment is among teachers. Does our profession
attract people who constantly question their own performance? Turning our attention to the
tape, Trisha and I reviewed some of the skills I was hoping to develop, and we established them
as lenses for viewing of the video. As the lesson progressed, Trisha pointed out several
moments where I successfully maintained the purpose for reading, redirected behavior, and
capitalized on the reactions of specific students. It was fun to stop the video when we noticed
something interesting a student who suddenly switched on, a particular verbal response
and reflect on its meaning. Would you believe it? I was actually enjoying watching the tape!

Along with warm feedback, Trisha also offered some suggestions for improvement. A former
fifth grade teacher, Im unaccustomed to reading picture books and had neglected some
illustrative clues foreshadowing the plot. I might have improved comprehension by elaborating
on some of the texts trickier words (e.g. burglar, breath-taking, miracle), stretching students
vocabularies. Finally, Trisha noticed how my pacing so important given first graders attention
spans fell away slightly at the end of the lesson. Trisha is a master of pacing. While her tone
is always calm, shes able to incorporate students ideas while keeping the lesson at a lively trot.
As I move forward in my practice, I must hone my pacing to bring out the best in students. In
sum, Trishas helpful feedback drew my attention to areas where I can improve my teaching.

My teacher friends were right. Watching yourself teach is an eye-opening experience. If
theres a lesson from my own experience, its that theres no need to be afraid. Teachers will
find things to celebrate and from there, they can grow.

Artefact #1: Image of Video Recording




















Artefact #2: Note from Debrief