World Weariness

Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 4 | April 22, 1957

Greeting in the na!e o" God. # $ring %ou God& $leing.
'% dear "riend, ince o!e o" %ou are pondering the u$(ect o" world wearine)an inde"ina$le
longing or !elanchol% or adne which !a% at ti!e take hold o" %ou)# would like to chooe thi
u$(ect a the the!e o" toda%& lecture.
*he "eeling grow "ro! e+eral root, there"ore there are a +ariet% o" poi$le caue "or world
wearine. ," coure the %earning "or God and per"ection pla% a role here too whether concioul%
or not, a well a the notalgia "or one& true piritual ho!e that dwell in e+er% hu!an $eing. -or
here on earth %ou are onl% +iitor, it i not %our true ho!e. .ut that i ne+er the !ain reaon "or the
inde"ina$le longing. #t $ackground i !ore co!ple/, and thi i what # want to talk a$out now.
0hen people de+iate in their oul "ro! the di+ine law in an% repect)and the !ore
unconcioul% thi happen the greater the de+iation i)then a +ague "eeling o" adne and
longing can grip the! at ti!e1 it i a i" their higher el+e would repond and encourage the! to
ene that o!ething i not 2uite right within the!el+e. -or intance, the% do not know how to
open the!el+e up to lo+ing in the true ene o" the word1 the% cannot !o+e out a "eeling which i
+ital in the li"e o" a hu!an $eing. A a cone2uence lo+e doe not co!e $ack to the! in the right
and "ul"illing wa%. *hen a "eeling o" wearine i the anwer o" their oul.
People o"ten think that the% are +er% capa$le o" lo+ing)and that !a% e+en $e true)$ut thi
capacit% doe not go into the right channel $ecaue ditortion in the oul pre+ent it. *he ditortion
can $e o" !an% +arietie, uch a "ear that one& ego i too !uch in e+idence. ,ne can ee 2uite
o"ten that hu!an $eing are indeed %earning "or lo+e and are e+en willing to gi+e lo+e, %et onl% on
condition that the% are lo+ed "irt. 3uch a 4a"e $argain5 not onl% lock the door, $ut caue a
ditortion in the oul which then can elicit the "eeling o" world wearine, ince the peron will
re!ain lonel%. *he "ear within the peron a%6 4#" # gi+e "irt, without $eing ure, !% pride !ight
get hurt, # !ight $e in(ured, the other could caue !e pain.5
-ear o" diappoint!ent i a ign o" o+ereniti+it%, and the o+ereniti+it% i a ign o" a "ale ene
o" el"7i!portance. *hi entire inner proce center around the ego, and that !ut $lock the trea!
o" genuine lo+e, ha+ing a contrar% direction. *he $locking goe againt di+ine law and there"ore the
oul !ut u""er. *he !o!ent %ou reet the 4inner witch5 o %ou do not take %our "ear o" what
could happen to %our own el" o erioul%, %ou can gi+e %our lo+e "reel%. *hen %our lo+e i pritine
and unadulterated, $ecaue the 4thou,5 with e+er%thing that %ou !i and long "or, will $eco!e
!ore i!portant than the 4#5 with it +anit% and pride. *hen the "eeling o" un"ul"ill!ent, o" +ague
%earning, will diappear, ince %ou are "ul"illing a +ital "unction o" hu!an nature and are thu in
har!on% with God and %our own higher el", at leat in thi repect.
8o not !iundertand !e. # do not want to i!pl% that a peron who ha thi particular
!iconception i necearil% el"ih. 9e or he !a% e+en $e le el"ih than another who ha
alread% "ound the ke% to thi pro$le!. ,ne hould di""erentiate $etween el"ihne and el"7
centeredne. .oth are wrong, $ut their e""ect i not alwa% the a!e. # do not e+en want to i!pl%
that uch a peron !a% $e pett% and unwilling to gi+e. #t i (ut that, in ignorance, genuine "eeling
are channeled through the ick lower el" into a "ale direction.
#t i not e+en that indi+idual who "it thi decription cannot lo+e at all. *here !a% $e a "ew people
around the! to who! the% re+eal all their lo+e. :et the% will not $e a$le to a+oid the +ague, wear%
"eeling. *hi i o $ecaue i" the energ% o" their "eeling were channeled in the right wa%, e+en in
repect to thoe "ew $elo+ed people, their lo+e would not $e concentrated on (ut a !all nu!$er o"
people, $ut would go out toward an%$od% in their en+iron!ent who can elicit poiti+e "eeling.
*hen the% would reach out with a "ull% co!!itted lo+e, not a"raid o" taking rik, e+en to the e/tent
o" lo+ingl% gi+ing (ut a !uch i!portance to the other peron& "eeling a to their own.
All thi cannot $e taken "or granted, !% "riend, "or no !atter how !uch %ou !a% agree
intellectuall% and in principle, the "eeling lag $ehind, e/cept in +er% rare cae. Naturall%, %our
lo+e would $e di""erent toward each indi+idual, $ecaue %ou hu!an $eing take it a a !atter o"
coure that one indeed lo+e o!e "ellow hu!an $eing !ore than other)and a long a %our tate
o" de+elop!ent till keep %ou in the c%cle o" reincarnation one cannot e/pect %ou to $elie+e
otherwie. :ou know alo "ro! e/perience that %our lo+e "or %our !other i di""erent "ro! %our
lo+e "or %our !ate, that %our lo+e "or %our iter or $rother i di""erent "ro! %our lo+e "or %our
child, %our lo+e "or %our "ather di""erent "ro! %our lo+e "or a "riend, and it e+en di""er "ro! "riend
to "riend. *here are o !an% +arietie o" lo+e current, and the% all ha+e u$tance and "or! in the
pirit. *heir color, hade, ound, and "ragrance are o" a wide +ariet%. And the hu!an capacit% to
lo+e would $e large enough to produce all the di+ere energ% current i" onl% the ick tendencie o"
the ego would not tand in the wa%.
0hen %ou lo+e o!eone +er% !uch, %ou o"ten ha+e the +ague "eeling that then %ou !ut $e taking
o!e lo+e awa% "ro! o!eone ele who! %ou !a% want to lo+e e+en !ore, and %ou ha+e the a!e
"eeling a$out o!eone ele& lo+e "or %ou1 it ee! a i" one peron would ha+e to $e hortchanged
in "a+or o" another a lo+e i $eing hared. :et genuine, health% lo+e i indi+ii$le1 it ne+er
di!inihe. *he !ore lo+e %ou generate, the !ore it !ultiplie itel". # do not want to $e
!iundertood here either6 # a! not re"erring to e/ualit% and ero. *hi i according to eternal law,
and %ou ha+e to "ind the truth within %ourel". 3o it i with God, 0ho lo+e 9i innu!era$le
children, 0ho alwa% lo+e !ore, ne+er le.
9ow can genuine, health% lo+e $e attained; Not $% tr%ing to "orce %ourel" to lo+e1 thi doe not
work. #t can $e reached onl% indirectl%, $% tarting with %ourel", that i, $% thorough el"7
e/a!ination, without el"7deceit. -ind the e/tent o" %our ego, %our o+ereniti+it%, %our +anit%, %our
pride, and how the% pla% their part. 0hoe+er ha undertood thi ha !ade the "irt tep toward
attaining true, genuine lo+e, and thu alo toward li"ting the "eeling o" longing, adne, notalgia,
or whate+er ele %ou want to call the!. ,nl% %ou can look into %our oul, and i" %ou "ind that not
e+er%thing i all right within %ou, then %ou know alo that %our oul need to $e healed in thi
repect.
0hen people concentrate all their lo+e on one peron, and the% do thi in the wrong wa% $ecaue
their oul i not health% in thi area, then the lo+e "or thi one peron will weaken the!. *he% !a%
$e o a"raid to loe the lo+e o" the other that the% cannot $e true to their own el", and thu the% will
indeed hu!iliate the!el+e and $e hu!iliated $% the other. #t will happen in an unhealth% wa%, out
o" weakne and "ear, not out o" trength. Actuall% o!e people $elie+e that el"7de$ae!ent i the
ign o" real, great lo+e1 howe+er, the% are decei+ing the!el+e. ,ther are o a"raid o" e/actl% that
)$eing hu!iliated)that the% cut the!el+e co!pletel% o"" "ro! too trong "eeling.
0hen %ou lo+e in a health% and genuine wa%, %ou ne+er co!pro!ie %our dignit%. :ou !a% well
ha+e to gi+e up initing that %ou !ut preer+e %our dignit% at all cot, $ut e/actl% $ecaue %ou
gi+e up the initence on %our dignit% can %ou win what %ou were read% to gi+e up. *hi i the
i!!uta$le piritual law. :ou will di""erentiate clearl% in %our oul that %ou ha+e to gi+e up %our
pride, the i!portance o" %our ego, $ut %ou do not ha+e to gi+e up $eing true to %ourel". *hi !a%
$e di""icult to undertand at "irt, $ut !editate on it and %ou will percei+e the di""erence. *hoe who
can lo+e in a genuine wa% without $eing a"raid that their little pride !ight $e hurt or that the% !a%
encounter o!e diad+antage, will ne+er $e 4!itreated,5 pro+ided the% guard againt $etra%ing
their own integrit% out o" "ear o" loing the lo+e o" their $elo+ed. *he% !a% $e diappointed, $ut
the% will not $e undul% hu!iliated. <eal lo+e will ne+er !ake %ou loe %our dignit%1 %ou will
alwa% $e a$le to tand up "or %ourel". 9ealth% dignit% will $ring %ou repect and not hu!iliation
or e/ploitation. 9ealth% lo+e will open %our e%e intead o" !aking %ou $lind1 it will !ake %ou
trong intead o" weak and alwa% true to %our el", e/actl% $ecaue through gi+ing up the little ego
%ou will no longer attach o !uch i!portance to the "ul"ill!ent o" %our own wihe. Genuine lo+e
i health%, and a uch "ree "ro! !aochitic or aditic tendencie1 it will not $e egocentric or
+iolate %our peronalit%. # want %ou to o$er+e that there are alwa% two oppoing current. *hink
a$out it, !% dear one.
-ear)!ore or le hidden in the hu!an oul)i a !a(or o$tacle to attaining real lo+e1 and "ear
can $e preent onl% when %ou lo+e %ourel" too !uch in o!e repect, when %ou take %ourel" too
erioul%, when %ou are too concerned a$out %our own well7$eing, when %ou hold on to %ourel"
intead o" letting %ourel" "low and urrender in a health% wa%. *hoe who !ake the!el+e too
i!portant !ut $e in "ear1 thoe who do not gi+e the!el+e that !uch i!portance do not ha+e to
$e a"raid that o!ething $ad will happen to the! i" the% let the!el+e lo+e. -ear co+er %our e%e
with a hea+% +eil, o that %ou $eco!e $lind. :ou can neither ee %ourel" nor other. Genuine lo+e
i not $lind, "or it can co!e onl% out o" a "earle oul. #t will ha+e the trength to react !ore or le
in the right wa%, while the wrong kind o" lo+e i weak and weakening, and will thu !ake %ou react
in the wrong wa%. A # aid, real lo+e create a natural dignit% +er% di""erent "ro! "ale dignit%,
which i $aed on pride and +anit%. 3uch wrong current in the oul then produce warning ignal in
the "or! o" "eeling o" world wearine.
Another ource o" world wearine can $e "ound in an attitude o" withdrawal, in which a peron
retire into a lonel%, el"7created world. Again, the% do thi out o" "ear o" gi+ing up their little el+e,
or o" taking rik, or out o" a cra ego7centeredne. 3uch withdrawal into a el"7created world !a%
%ield the! certain !o!entar% ad+antage in "reeing the! o" reponi$ilitie "or other, a""ording
the! to lead a li"e e/clui+el% and unco!pro!iingl% according to their peronal pre"erence. :et
the% pa% a higher price than the% are initiall% aware o". *he% act contrar% to piritual law and o
their higher el" !ake itel" known $% cauing the! to "eel world wear%. *hu the% will, "ro! ti!e
to ti!e, e/perience great diati"action with li"e and there"ore "eel alone, iolated and a$andoned.
All hu!an $eing tri+e, in their oul& core, to gi+e, to "ul"ill and e+en to acri"ice. :et where the
$lind, ick, or i!!ature part o" the oul reit thi tri+ing, two oppoite current co!e into
e/itence which tend to cancel each other out.
,ne part o" the oul want to gi+e lo+e)and there"ore alo to recei+e lo+e. 0hate+er %ou gi+e
co!e $ack to %ou a a wa+e in an eternall% pulating c%cle. ," coure, %ou ha+e to tart the c%cle
$% gi+ing "irt and not waiting "or the other to tart $% gi+ing to %ou. *hi part o" the oul want to
"ul"ill itel", want to urrender the ego, to acri"ice, and will endea+or with all it trength, with
e+er% ingle current o" "eeling, to a$ide $% the piritual law. #t want to "orget itel" and not take it
+anit%, pride, and peronal ad+antage o erioul%. 3uch an e!otional current co!e "ro! the
higher el" that know where true "ul"ill!ent, happine, har!on%, and per"ection are to $e "ound.
*hi current e/it e+en in le de+eloped oul, $ut in the! it run underground, o to peak, and
onl% rie to the ur"ace on rare occaion during a li"eti!e.
*he other part o" the peronalit% want co!"ort, con+enience, and will gi+e up nothing. -ro! ti!e
to ti!e it ee the light o" happine, $ut pre"er to e/it in a gre%, olitar% world that ee! rik7
"ree to the $lind part o" the oul.
#t i i!poi$le to do (utice to $oth current at the a!e ti!e, ince the% deire directl% oppoite
goal. *he cro7current then gi+e rie to !an% other con"lict that e/tend !uch "urther than %ou
are i!!ediatel% aware o". 0hen %ou can no longer $ear the $urden o" the con"lict which are reall%
the %!pto! o" the deep plit in %ourel", %ou go to a p%chiatrit to $eco!e aware, in ti!e, o"
thee oppoing oul current. ,nl% when %ou know o" their e/itence can %ou !ake the inner choice
to clearl% "ollow either one or the other current)ince %ou cannot "ollow $oth at once)in "ull
knowledge o" what %ou ha+e to gi+e up and what %ou tand to gain a %ou decide "or one o" the!.
#n thi cae %ou ha+e at leat the intellectual knowledge to a% to %ourel"6 4#" # go in thi direction,
# cannot at the a!e ti!e go the other wa%1 there"ore # !ut !ake a choice.5
*hi i an e/a!ple o" an inner deciion which # ha+e !entioned pre+ioul%. #nner deciion can $e
!ade onl% when %ou ha+e $eco!e aware o" the hidden e!otional current and can pinpoint where
the% run into the wrong channel o a to cancel each other out. =ro7current create not onl%
p%chological and piritual o$tacle, $ut alo ph%ical !ani"etation in the $od%6 tiredne,
weakne, and e+en ickne can co!e "ro! e!otional hort7circuit. *he !ore "re2uentl% the
oppoing current clah within the oul, the !ore the peron will loe the trength which would
otherwie work producti+el% in a health% channel and thu renew itel" all the ti!e.
People uuall% know !uch !ore in their intellect than in their "eeling, $ut ince the unhealth%
"eeling cannot adapt the!el+e to the health%, conciou thinking while the% are hidden in the
unconciou, the% need to $e $rought up into concioune. >uite apart "ro! the piritual truth
and the di+ine law"ulne to which all hu!an who wih to li+e a health% and har!oniou li"e are
u$(ect, an% reaona$le hu!an $eing know that one cannot !o+e i!ultaneoul% in two oppoite
direction. *here"ore it i a$olutel% necear% to !ake the inner contradiction conciou, e+en i"
reitance ha to $e o+erco!e.
:ou o"ten call an e!otionall% ill peron i!!ature, at leat in thoe area where the oul i
unhealth%. #ndeed, i!!aturit% i a childih 2ualit%, $ecaue it !ean to want the i!poi$le, like a
child. An i!!ature peron doe not ha+e enough reaon to recogni?e that each action or non7action
$ring with it the correponding cone2uence, which the !ature peron i a$le to ditinguih and
accept. 9e or he can thu "reel% gi+e up the i!poi$le, wherea e!otionall% ick and i!!ature
oul would init on ha+ing the ad+antage o" $oth the oppoing alternati+e and none o" their
draw$ack, ha+ing their cake and eating it too. 0hen the% ha+e to "ace the "act that thi i not
poi$le, their inner re$ellion increae and with it their con"lict. -or re$ellion againt the
unaltera$le i in itel" a ick e!otional current. *he inner con"lict can increae to uch an e/tent
that the% $egin to $e re"lected and !ani"eted in the peron& outer li"e.
*here are !an% kind o" cro7current, not onl% thoe # !entioned. 3hort7circuit can, along with
other %!pto!, caue inde"inite longing and adne, and an%one who i haunted $% i!ilar
"eeling "re2uentl% hould earch in thi direction. ," coure, it i not o ea% to unco+er deep and
o"ten unconciou current, and %ou will need all %our willpower to con2uer the reitance. *he
longing "or God and "or one& true piritual ho!e doe not co!pletel% e/plain the "eeling o" world
wearine. *he unati"ied longing i indeed "or God, $ut in a di""erent ene than %ou co!!onl%
au!e. ,nl% when a hu!an $eing li+e in per"ect har!on% with God& law can the longing "or
God $e tilled. 0hen %ou co!e cloe to God in thi wa% and re!o+e all the o$tacle that pre+ent
%ou "ro! li+ing in har!on% with God, %ou can ati"% %our longing "or God alread% in thi li"e on
earth. -or thoe who "ul"ill co!pletel%, to the $et o" their capacitie, in accordance with God&
plan, their earthl% li"e, their indi+idual tak, which correpond to their tate o" de+elop!ent, will $e
"ree o" an% kind o" inner dihar!on%. *here will $e in the! no tor!ent, no $itterne, no tenion,
nor an% adne or world wearine.
Going $ack once !ore to inner deciion, # would like to !ention that when %ou !ake a negati+e
deciion in the "ull knowledge and acceptance o" all it cone2uence and related renunciation o"
whate+er ha to $e gi+en up)not onl% rationall% $ut e+entuall% alo $% $ringing %our e!otion in
accord with it)%ou are $etter o"" than i" %ou were to init i!ultaneoul% on two i!poi$ilitie,
deiring onl% the ad+antage and not accepting an% o" the draw$ack o" the two alternati+e.
-or intance, when %ou decide to withdraw and li+e a olitar% li"e $ecaue %ou do not want to gi+e
lo+e, out o" an/iet% and o+er7eniti+it%, then %ou !ut alo inwardl% reckon with the "act that %ou
will ta% olitar% and will lack lo+e. =ertain (o% and ati"action !ut then $e gi+en up, not
reluctantl%, $ut co!pletel%. @+en a negati+e deciion, i" it i trul% !eant to $e carried out, i one
tep cloer to health than the inner indeciion and the deire to ha+e it $oth wa%. -or in thi wa%
%ou will at leat uni"% %ourel" inwardl% and will no longer $e torn $% inner contradiction. #n order
to reach a negati+e deciion at all, %ou !ut take pain to honetl% con"ront %ourel", $ring the
unconciou into concioune, and co!!it %ourel" to pa% at leat one price, e+en i" "or the wrong
alternati+e. 3uch traight"orwardne er+e the oul& health, e+en though it !a% not $e the $et
poi$le choice.
*hu when people chooe to cut the!el+e o"" outwardl% or inwardl% "ro! other)and o"ten thi
happen onl% in the inner ene)the% will undertand right awa% what thi choice i!plie.
3el"ihne, an/iet%, o+ereniti+it% and pride ha+e won out. 0hen a a cone2uence the longing "or
lo+e, "ul"ill!ent, light, $rotherhood and "uion with another $eing touche the!, the% will con"ront
thi longing and tell the!el+e6 4# ha+e o choen, # know the price, and # pre"er to pa% thi price
rather than gi+e up !% negati+it%.5 #t will $e preciel% through the inner work that i necear% to
!ake e+en a negati+e deciion honetl%. *hu the% will ena$le the!el+e to co!e to the reali?ation
later that the% would, a"ter all, pre"er to !ake the true choice and that it would $e worthwhile to
gi+e up what at "irt ee!ed o di""icult to renounce. 'ot da!age are caued $% not !aking an%
choice and allowing all e!otional current to !ingle in the unconciou, without the e""ort to reall%
getting to know oneel". 3uch tate o" indeciion will wear out the oul, lead to una+oida$le
con"lict, o that no energ% will $e le"t to "ul"ill li"e a $et a poi$le in other area either)
whether piritual or !aterial.
@!otional cro7current or hort7circuit are not e2uall% trongl% preent in all people1 there are
!an% gradation. *here"ore it i not a !atter o" eitherAor. #n o!e cae the oppoing e!otion
urge with e2ual power and clah with uch "ur% that the wa+e o" "eeling co!pletel% u$!erge the
peron, o that he or he can no longer cope with li"e. And "ro! a certain point o" +iew it i !uch
$etter, $ecaue the peron will thu "ind the wa% to a "reel% choen healing !uch ooner. 0ithout
uphea+al !ot people, e/cept thoe "ew o" a +er% high tate o" piritual de+elop!ent, would not
"ind the wa% to health. 0hen the inner con"lict i not 2uite o e/plicit and one current i !ore out in
the open than the other, the% will till "eel counter7current, at leat "ro! ti!e to ti!e, which will
ap their trength and will pre+ent the! "ro! co!pletel% uni"%ing the energie o" their oul.
*here are alo other caue "or "eeling o" world wearine. All o" the! te! "ro! o!e ditortion
in the oul, $ut # will not go into that now. # ha+e gi+en %ou enough, o that e+er%one who hear or
read !% word ha a!ple !aterial "or el"7earch. 0hoe+er ha uch longing hould know that
hi or her unconciou e!otional current are not co!pletel% health% and "ree.
:ou hould attri$ute enough i!portance to %our oul and to %our entire peronalit% to reall% unco+er
what i hidden within %our el", alone i" poi$le and i" not, with help. :et %ou cannot reall%
unco+er what i in %ou i" %ou till init on attri$uting o !uch i!portance to %our pain, to %our
+anit%, and to %our "ear. ,nl% $% !ini!i?ing the i!portance o" thee can %ou "ind the courage to
dico+er what i hidden, to let go o" pretene, and to change %our inner realit%.
# want now to touch on o!ething ele, $ecaue it i related to toda%& the!e. *hi i el"7pit%,
which o"ten trengthen the "eeling o" world wearine. 0allowing in woe "eel o good to %ou,
and %ou con+ince %ourel" that the pain %ou e/perience !ut $e $orne $ecaue it i %our detin%. :et
in truth thi i +er% o"ten not the cae1 a # ha+e e/plained, uch woe te! "ro! ditorted oul
current, which %ou ha+e the power to correct.
*he ickl% en(o%!ent o" u""ering)%ou call it !aochi!)i caued $% peci"ic tendencie. ,n
the one hand %ou run awa% "ro! real pro$le! %ou do not want to con"ront1 on the other %ou "ind in
uch pleaant pain a co!penation "or the pri+ation o" %our li"e e/perience. *hee !a% ha+e
kar!ic reaon, %et 2uite o"ten courage and willpower could relie+e the! i" onl% %ou opened the
inner door. <egardle o" the $urden o" %our pat li+e, regardle o" what %ou need to e/perience
now on the outer le+el, %ou can, $% !eeting the inner condition which # a! howing to %ou again
and again, heal %our oul and $ring %our "eeling)not onl% %our thought and action)into
har!on% with piritual law. A a reult %our li"e will $e e!otionall% rich, har!oniou and happ%,
co!pletel% "ul"illing %ou where+er %ou are in %our de+elop!ent.
Lat $ut not leat, conider thi alo6 .% re$elling againt o!ething %ou cannot change, %ou throw
%our li"e into dihar!on%. ,n the contrar%, it will ne+er har! a oul to accept an unaltera$le troke
o" "ate. Naturall%, one will not, need not, and certainl% hould not $e glad to accept uch a $urden1
that would $e i!poi$le. :et one can reign oneel" to it without re$ellion and $itterne. *he
adne that co!e "ro! undergoing uch hardhip will in o!e wa% help to "ree the oul. # $elie+e
that %ou ha+e all "elt thi at one ti!e or another.
0hene+er %ou wallow in el"7pit%, %ou are unconcioul% re!e!$ering an earlier reaction, when
%our pain wa co!!enurate with the gra+it% o" the ituation. .% wallowing in el"7pit% %ou tr% to
reproduce thi re!e!$ered "eeling, $ut in circu!tance which are no longer the a!e1 when the
hardhip wa una+oida$le, %our urrender wa the right repone, $ut now it i di""erent. Now %ou
can change %our attitude toward %our pain. .ecaue o" thi di""erence, the a!e "eeling can in one
cae $e right and health% and in another cae $e ick. Perhap %ou will $e a$le to undertand thi.
'% word tonight are not ea% to grap and # ak %ou to think a$out the! care"ull%. .e $leed, !%
dear one.