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Srikanth Krishnan
Moomau Period 2
4/21/2014
Too Good to be True; an Analysis of the MagnaSoles Article
In close adherence to an increasingly prevalent marketing template for suspicious
products, the Onion parody article on the release of the fictional MagnaSoles shoe insert
mocks the hackneyed advertising techniques popularized by the modern consumer society
through satirical usage of falsified science, inclusion of questionably credible testimonials, and
implementation of blatantly sarcastic or absurd details.
The article employs phrases referring to clearly illegitimate sciences to convey contempt
for instances where advertisers support their products with made up science, albeit more
subtly. Magnasoles promoters purport that the inserts [harness] the power of magnetism to
properly align the biomagnetic field around your foot. While biomagnetism does exist, readers
recognize that their organic feet do not have any discernable magnetic fields of their own and the
inserts could even manipulate this field is frankly ridiculous. While the reader can easily
distinguish this claim as fictional, the detail draws attention to similar techniques used in other
advertising. Similarly, the products developers claim that Magnasoles utilize the healing power
of crystals to restimulate dead foot cells with biovibrational feedback. At this statement, the
article boosts the product from highly suspicious to utter absurdity. Concepts such as
biovibrational feedback and the healing power of crystals are fabrications straight from
science fiction, as crystals have no healing properties and the capability to reverse the death of
cells is tantamount to the supernatural. The Onions over the top method of exaggerating the
capabilities of MagnaSoles satirizes the scientific evidence that so many advertisers use to sell
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their products. Continuing the trend, MagnaSoles inserts are loaded with special resonator
nodules that convert the wearers own energy to match the Earths natural vibrational rate of
32.805 kilofrankels. Somehow, this conversion rearranges the foots naturally occurring atoms,
converting the pain-nuclei into pleasing comfortrons. MagnaSoles support remains woefully
problematic. Vibrations are measured in the units of Hertz, while kilofrankels are not an SI
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recognized unit. Further, their shoe inserts are apparently capable of cutting edge nuclear science
by rearranging atoms, another impossibility. The atoms they cite are themselves fabricated,
disqualifying the science even more. the unfortunate reality is that, despite expanding
educational opportunities, the majority of people are not very well versed in real science. When
people dont understand science, it becomes fantastical and wondrous to them; it becomes magic
rather than being explainable through empirical methods. Consequently, many people fall victim
to advertising techniques that reference pseudosciences such as terranometry, reflexology, and
biomagnetism because they cannot differentiate them from real sciences. The articles
exaggerates the usage of such techniques to satirize both the advertisers that unfairly trick buyers
into purchasing their products, and the ignorant buyers, who fall for the ruse.
In clear reference to the tendency of modern advertisers to include normal people and
specialist in their promotions to inspire consumers to purchase their goods, the Onion
incorporates several laughable testimonials in its MagnaSoles ad. The first in the roster is
scientific explanation of the product from a Dr. Arthur Bluni the pseudoscientist who developed
the product. Not only does the article explicitly state that he is a pseudoscientist and therefore
not an actual expert, Dr. Bluni is himself the developer of the product and therefore inherently
biased as it is in his interest to speak well of the product and promote sales. An additional
specialist Dr. Wayne Frankel favorably discusses MagnaSoles in the context of another

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Le Systme international d'units
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pseudoscientist, Terranometry. The article mentions these clearly phony specialists to draw
similarities to how many companies have their own developer scientists promote the product
rather than an expert from a legitimately neutral, third party group such as a regulatory agency.
As previously mentioned, people are easily influenced by the wonders of scientists. They are
similarly influenced by the specialist who are supposed to be smarter and understand the
complicated intricacies of science. People even consider their approval to underscore the
legitimacy of the product, when it may be just the opposite such as with MagnaSoles. The next
review is from Helene Kuhn, who states that she twisted [her] ankle a few months ago and
then enthusiastically claims that after wearing MagnaSoles for seven weeks, [shes] noticed a
significant decrease in pain. The irony is that her ankle has healed significantly after several
months and more weeks with insoles is not miraculous as the advertising technique would like its
reader to believe, but instead quite normal. Despite this, she obstinately and ignorant states that
her recovery was purely thanks to the inserts. This testimonial satirizes the tendency of such
testimonials to illogically decide that the product is solely responsible for their natural
rejuvenation, as well as the suspension of logic on the part of consumers as a result of such sly
advertising. The final included testimonial is from a Geoff DeAngelis, who simply states that he
is convinced by knowing that Magnasoles are clearly endorsed by an intelligent-looking man in
a white lab coat and that MagnaSoles seem to be working. Mr. DeAngelis commentary
returns to the illusion that the endorsement of a wayward specialist can legitimize a product.
Both Kuhn and DeAngelis are apparently not experts in the field of podiatry, leading to the next
advert technique that the article satirizes. Using normal people, the majority of which are
actors as it is, advertisers hope to connect with prospective buyers by inspiring a sense of
commonality between the testimonial and the buyer. Normal people are, realistically, not
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credible sources to contribute to the validity of a product, so the Onion looks to satirize how
advertisers use such testimonials to lower consumers guards. In all cases, the Onion suggests
how consumers draw conclusions about products from the people they see promoting it and the
stereotypes they apply to those people.
Perhaps the most obvious, the article is riddled with phrases and details that are clearly
absurd that draw attention to the many flaws of modern advertising. For example, the article
notes, Its patented Magna Grid design features Contour Points
TM
to draw attention to how
patents and trademarks are used to impress buyers by evidencing validity. The acquisition of a
patent or commercial trademark is not an actual indicator of a product being realistic or that it is
being advertised for along the same parameters as it was patented on, yet many consumers
continue to interpret this information as proof of credibility. In a different case, the article
contradictorily mentions both that the insoles were released less than a week ago and yet that
customers had worn them for seven weeks. This not only adds to the effect of how preposterous
the article is, but suggests the questionable nature of infomercial-esque products such as
MagnaSoles as certain logistics do not make sense. The techniques in which the article depicts
the science on which MagnaSoles are based are also heavily satirical. The pseudoscience so
relied on as the basis of the inserts are amusingly described as scientific-sounding and semi-
plausible. The article is self aware that it is a satire, and thus humorously yet subtly
acknowledges the shoddy science that is sometimes used in product promotion. The particular
diction throughout the article continues to satirize cheap advertising gimmicks as well as tie in
the articles ridiculousness to the overarching criticism the Onion is making.
The Onions use of pseudoscience, mockery of common personal testimonials, and
incorporation of satirical details and descriptions wittily lampoon the less scrupulous techniques
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that are so abundant in todays consumerist world. The publication draws specific attention to
appeals they feel are not legitimate; appeals that are founded in manipulative customers through
social means rather than appealing honestly and truthfully about a products merits. However
their criticism is not limited there at the advertisers, and there is a palpable contempt for the
masses that allow themselves to be swung by such lowly techniques. The articles effective
parody of such a scam allows for even broader inferences to be made. Beyond even the
techniques and the people at both ends of them, the article may be a subtle jab at our society's
allowal of a scam industry to exist. While trickery has always been a financial endeavor, recent
developments in the way people interact, particularly, the internet, has allowed for increasingly
devious and anonymous scams to develop.