Juan Gutierrez

English 125 056

Revision 12/11/2014
Una persona, Two lives
The immanent moment drew ever so close. With every passing second I already knew, by
conventional routine, what would eventually come. As swiftly as the hour hand brushed the
cheaply painted number 10 on the clock I could hear my mother utter those dreadful words. Por
favor ya quiero que te vayas a dormir. Soon enough I found myself tucked in my own bed
listening to the soft spoken words of my mom as she told me a brand new story. Each story
seemed as unique as the last. Not only were these stories filled with my favorite characters, but
they also included ones that were near and dear to my mom. She too heard most of these stories
growing up as a toddler. The light hearted speech soon turned into a vibrant adventure that
seemed to evoke nothing, but a paradise setting. With each echoing word, I could see myself
walk along side of my favorite characters. As they walked along a path on their adventure it was
almost as if I was part of the whole process. I not only had ventured into a brand new world, but
it was a world filled with fun and happiness. Here nothing could hurt me and everything seemed
to fall into just the precise spot. It was ideally the perfect world, and not only was I able to enjoy
myself, but I was also able to experience both sides of my life at the same time without having to
worry. Here I would not have to worry about the suggested correct time to use one personality
over the other. No matter where I was I could be myself without a doubt in the world. Although
this was not always the case. Especially when I eventually would wake up on the other side of
the dream.
Growing up I quickly noticed two different contrasting parts of my own life. During the
school day I was Juan, and when I got home from school I was Carlos. Even though I felt

like I was represented by two different people in theory I was the exact same little kid throughout
the whole day: with one major difference of course. At school I spoke nothing, but English while
at home I spoke nothing, but Spanish. Juan always seemed to have fun with his friends at school
and enjoy the process and at the time rigorous task of learning square roots in elementary school.
At the same time Carlos liked to relax at home in the comfort of his house which he quickly
became accustomed to. Seldom was the case that Juan and Carlos every met up for milk and
crackers. The identical yet seemingly completely different people made up who I was for the
majority of my early childhood.
Until then they lived their own respective lives. Neither seemed to interact much.
Ironically enough they were one in the same. How could two separate entities at one point in
time be so close to each other the next? Either way, no matter how I looked at it, many times it
would seem to me that Juan and Carlos where used at two different points in my life. They never
really seemed to blend together. As time went by, each started to walk their own path. Along the
way a fork in the road would soon lead them to a crossing road once more.
Growing up in a Hispanic/Mexican school allowed me to learn Spanish and at the same
time learn English at school. I had the wonderful opportunity to learn two languages at an early
age something I know both Juan and Carlos now truly appreciate. During the day Juan would
have the wonderful opportunity to go to school and learn brand new things each day. Not only
that, but he would also have the great pleasure of being a solely English speaking individual. For
most of Juans life he rarely ever had to use any other language besides the English. As a result
he felt it would be best just to speak in English and adapt the values and cultures which came
included in the package. On the other hand, after school was over, Carlos would come home and
enjoy the lovely company of his Spanish speaking parents. Carlos rarely needed to speak any

other language due to the fact that his parents only knew Spanish. Not only that, but he was
happy continuing to speak the language he originally learned and he was even more delighted to
have such a wonderful culture.
Two very different aspects of my life, yet so intertwined. Something about these
personas made up the single person that I am today, but somehow for the majority of my life
seemed as two completely different people. Both of us knew that exact same things, neither was
smarter than the other, but yet there still seemed to be clear cut differences. One based off an
American culture and the other Mexican culture. It was not until the last end of my high school
career that I actually identified this aspect of our lives. Once I came to realize this I notice the
true impact literature had brought forth on me.
Literacy often has many different forms of interpretation. Many of these times, as a
human society we are left with a plethora of answers to one specific question. Somehow you
would think that with over 7 billion people on this earth we would be able to come up with a
specific answer. Although the answer could not be farther from the truth, due to the simple fact
that we are so diverse and elaborate we all have seemed to adapt our very own definition based
on our own perspectives and experiences. Literacy to me means the intake of different values and
ideas throughout our own perspectives. Of courses what I think of literacy is not quite what you
taught it meant: or is it? Either way my own experiences of a dual personality have now come
into unison to give me a brand new fresh outlook on life that I have never really experienced
before. Looking back, I now have noticed that these two cultural lives were represented of my
life. I pictured my life as a balance beam, the more refined one language I grew in the more the
scale tipped to one side: the favorable side. My awareness came even more prominent as I
traversed forward. Learning formal Spanish was the first real time the cultural boundary became

to crumble. I had always knew Spanish since I was a young toddler, in fact it was my first
language. All this time I had been exposed to purely English prose and diction. Never had I ever
needed to academic Spanish before. Although I guess you could say that there is a first time for
everything.
Looking back I can now acknowledge that this in fact did compose the person that I claim
to be now. Having been expose to two different languages made me realize the advantages and
disadvantages that it brought forth. On one hand I had the ability and pleasure of speaking two
different languages. On the other, I was face with a constant struggle of expressing both form of
the language in a perfect sense. Oh, a Mexican that cannot speak proper Spanish, and, Oh a
Native born American cannot express themselves in an articulate way without letting the grasp
of an idea vanish in the text. Constant mediation of both Spanish and English made me come to
terms with the fact that I needed to not only present myself in a feasible way, but also in a correct
one. It was the first time I had really realize this now. Despite the fact, I was actually very happy
I did. Not only was I now being shown the whole story and now just half of two, but with this
came a new outlook that I use to this day. I was no longer two-half of a whole. I was now I
whole entity. Ideally, this was the first time that I truly acknowledge that life was not just
composed of a single idea. Nor does it just contain one single perspective, the same way there
are millions of ways to learn one thing, people lives vary. I had now come to the realization that
what truly made up my existence was the joy of having two cross cultural connection at a single
meeting point. Having been exposed to both side of this spectrum gave the opportunity to come
to accept the fact that I was neither Juan nor Carlos. In fact I was now Juan Carlos Gutierrez.

Reflection Paper
Looking back once more at this literacy narrative has allowed me to see many holes in
my writing. Going through this essay allowed me to tackle specific part of the overall essay flow,
and in a sense commit to patch work in order to provide a deeper and fuller story telling
experience. Previously, went I originally wrote the essay, it seemed as though the ideas where
there, but something was missing. Upon pondering through the essay, I quickly noticed that the
problem was in fact fluidity. In order to try and fix this problem I talked key transitional points in
this essay in order to build up the connection from one paragraph to the next. One specific
paragraph I did this to was my Introduction to second paragraph transition. Not only was I able
to fix parts in the introduction, but I also made sure to be more descriptive in terms of the two
entities that encompassed me. Overall, not only did this allow me to give more livelihood to the
story, but it also seemed to give it a fuller circle by giving more insight to the story.