Brandon Corcione

Final Portfolio-Reflection
For my final portfolio, I chose to revise my first paper about The Blind Side and my third
paper about Khloe Kardashian and her PETA advertisement. I chose these two texts for a variety
of reasons. Personally, I think I enjoyed writing these two papers the most when comparing all
three. I also had the most difficulty composing these two papers whether it be finding a topic or
figuring out a way to get my point across, so I thought these papers would benefit the revisions
the most.
When I originally composed my paper on The Blind Side, I think I took a huge risk in
writing one paper on one specific movie. I absolutely loved the idea of it because it was
different, I enjoyed the movie, and I think it allowed me to give a more in depth analysis of the
paper rather than using multiple sources of media. During the peer reviews, I didnt even have
my topic of The Blind Side to write about, so my paper was written as a generalization about
media. I didnt use any of my peer review feedback because that paper no longer exists,
however, I responded well to the feedback. I was told my ideas were good but kind of scattered,
which was totally expected because I had no idea what I was doing. I made sure in my final
paper to have some kind of organizational strategy. Revising this paper was definitely a good
choice because it was one of my favorite papers to write. In my final draft I opened the paper
with a quote of Leanne Tuohy but just left it there. I simply stated a quote without interpreting it
which is such a common mistake that I should have picked up on. Professor Lehn pointed that
out in her comments and I immediately realized what I failed to do. I went back to the paper and
added one simple sentence after the quote stating, In other words, Leanne dedicates all of her
good deeds to helping others rather than herself. I personally find this one sentence to make a

huge difference in the beginning of the paper. It just adds a better interpretation and a more solid
understanding of a quote that a reader might not fully grope. On the second page towards the
bottom, I further analyzed whether people do good deeds to make themselves look better or for
actually doing something to benefit another individual. I added this in because it gives a personal
opinion and adds perspective to the paper. I stated that I have done good deeds but some for my
personal benefit, which definitely makes the paper seem more real and truthful because not many
people would admit to something like that. The rest of my revisions just further clarified points,
such as stating if it wasnt for the Tuohy family Michael would have never been recruited to play
college football despite his talent. Little details like this add more insight to the paper. In addition
to expanding on ideas, I added my personal opinion in more which I was afraid to do when the
final draft was due because I was not used to this writing technique. Overall I think the revisions
add more depth and insight into the paper and further explain ideas and concepts that occurred in
the movie. Based on the original draft, I definitely improved on making the content a lot more
understandable by expanding on certain points. If there was more time, I might add a lot more
about my persona opinion and reaction to the movie as a whole and particular scenes.
Similarly to The Blind Side paper, I had a difficult time choosing a topic to write about
for my third paper on advertisements. I didnt want to pick a generic ad, and I didnt want to pick
an ad that I wasnt interested in, so it took a lot of time for me to finally choose the PETA
advertisement. Once I started composing the paper, it was very clear and easy to get my point
across. The most difficult part was choosing a medium to write about. After that, the rest just
flowed with some basic thought organization, such as structuring my paragraphs before actually
writing them out. When revising the paper, I used my peer review and the comments on the
essay to make my changes. Just like my first paper, I opened the first paragraph with a quote and

didnt explain it. When I realized I made this same mistake on both my first and last paper I was
disappointed I didnt catch on to it. But I simply added in the sentence, In other words,

creativity without a purpose is art, and a combination of creativity with a set plan is
advertising. Its one simple sentence, but it goes a long way to make the quote more of a
concrete interpretation than something just thrown into the essay. This essay I decided not to
make that many revisions within in. I added a few, such as stating the design of Khloe in her
cover shoot and then further explaining a particular detail about it such as her hair, but I
really wanted to focus my revision at the end of the paper and talk about my composing
process. I had the most difficulty with this paper because it took me such a long time to find
an advertisement I wanted to write about. I actually end up writing the paper in a short two
days because the deadline soon came out of the blue. I thought I had more time, but I didnt.
I wrote the paper in two days, and I think I did a generally good job for the time constraint.
However I felt it was important to leave most of the aspects of my paper in tact with a few
minor revisions. My peer review went well and for the most part I had good feedback. Since
there wasnt much pointed out to be changed, I added the large paragraph at the end to talk
about my composing process. It adds to the paper because it gives the reader an inside look at
my thoughts during the composing process. I really went in depth talking about how difficult
it was to begin the paper, but then explained I didnt have much difficulty writing it once my
thoughts were together. I think the final revised copy is an improvement from the original
draft. I expanded on a few points and then did a huge paragraph at the end explaining the
composing process, which in my opinion does a lot for the paper. I went back myself and
tried to find something in the middle parts of the essay to revise just because I thought I
hadnt done enough to accomplish the task, but I found it difficult to point out something in
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specific. I just did a large revision at the end to make up for the lack of revisions in the
middle body paragraphs. I think I definitely could have benefitted from an additional review
one more time to try and improve the body paragraphs of the essay. Maybe I could expand
on certain points more and add my opinion in when I explained particular features of the ad.