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SamMiller
Ms.Miller

APLanguageBootcampAssignment#3
27May2014
WhyIWrite

Ihavenever,untilrecently,hadadesiretowrite.Ofcourse,Ienjoyreading,and

aminfactavoraciousreader,butIcouldnotseemyselfwritingbooks.Me,anauthor?Onlyif
anaudienceexistedthatfedexclusivelyonunendingnonfictionsonvideogames.OrsoI
thought.Thisbrieftangentconvenientlyleadsbacktomyfirstsentence:Ihadnever,until
recentlyhadthedesiretowrite.PerhapsIhadforacademicreasons,perhapsIhadscribbled
afewwhimsicalpoems(badones)downforpurepleasure.Butmymostrecent,and
strongest,motivationislikeOrwells:Ihavesomedemonsinside.AndIseethemaroundand
whenIdo,Isuddenlyknow,thethoughtsimplypopsintomyhead:Icouldwriteaboutthat.

Myearliestexperienceswritingwereacademicrelated.Numerous,boring

essayscenteredaroundavaguetopicthathadtobewrittenpreciselyacertainwayflooded
myEnglishteachersgradingboxesthroughoutmyeducation.Itwasratherlimiting,tobe
confinedtoeitheraresponsetoliteratureorpersuasiveessay,describingorarguingfor
thingsIdidnotcarefor.The
essayswereverycutanddriedandpredictable,duetomybeingunenthusiastic.Igotthe
occasionalthrillfromusinglarger,morecomplicatedwordsinwhatwastomeinteresting
ways.But,asidefromthemotivationforbettergrades,Ididnothavemuchreasontowrite.If
youhadshownmetheselinesafewyearsbackfromImagineDragonssongDemons:

Dontgettooclose,
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Itsdarkinside.
Itswheremydemonshide,
Itswheremydemonshide.

Iwouldhavesimplyreadthemover,confusedastowhyyouhadshownmethem,and
perhapslaughedimmaturelyandjustshruggeditoff.Iwas,andstillam,aweebitlazy.IfI
wastopenanovel,itwouldbeshort,andasmeaningfulandthoughtprovokingasIcould
makeit.Or,morelikely,itwouldturnoutbraindead,ortotheeffectofsomeotheradjective
withasimilarconnotation.Butwhatcouldinfluencemetowrite?
1.AcademicsMygrades,myattitudeconcerningschool,andmyprogressthroughschool
willbeamajorfactorindetermininghowIact,whatIbecomeandwhoIassociatewith.Essay
writingisavitalskillincollege,orsoIamtold.Highschoolispreparationforthis,asitisfor
variouspursuitsinlife.
2.InternalConflictPerhapsthemosteffectiveimpetus,formeatleast,isthewantto
expressinternalthought,feelings,moodsanddesires.Things,eventsandsituationsthatyou
simplycannotorwillnotthinkofasolutiontomaybewrittendownforoutsideassistance,or
forponderingandreflection.Ithelpstopinpointwhatexactlyyouarefocusedon,what
occupies
yourmindatagivenmoment.Hell,itsthepreliminarystepinpsychologicaltreatment,without
havingtopayforaprofessional!

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3.PleasureWhenbored,thehumanmindwanders,searchingforwaystooccupyitself
longenoughtoignorethevitallyimportantlessonbeingtaughtinthemeantime.Youmay
catchyourselfscribblingdown,inslow,thoughtfulmotionsimprovisedlyricsorlines,or
doodlingillustrationsofwhatevershortstorymaybebuildinginyourhead.

Mostrecently,Ihavebeenaffectedmoststronglybythesecondreasonlistedabove.

My...demonsofasort,myInternalConflicts,havesofarbeenexpressedinpartbyfour
monologuesIhavewritten.Theyatleastpartiallyencompassmyworries,andhaverelieved
meimmensely(andtemporarily)upontheircompletion.IntermsofAcademics,mywritinghas
beenslowlyimproving,ashavemyvocabularyandsenseofsituationwhilewriting.Interms
ofPleasure,IhaverecentlydiscoveredaseriesofpoemsandashortstorythatIwroteduring
abriefoutpouringofideasayearorsoago.Theshortstorytellsofaparallelworldinwhich
caninesarethemoreadvancedspecies,andhumansarethepets.Thepoemsare
warthemed,andthefirstistitledThereAreNoAtheistsinFoxholes,reflectingmyinterestin
thetwoWorldWars.Themainideaofsaidpoemisbasedintheselines:

Aprayerinafoxhole
Isnothingtoscoffabout.
Itisfilledtothebrim,
Andindeedspillingover,
Withamanshopesanddreams.

Whathewisheshehaddone,

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Whathewisheshecoulddo,
Whathedesireshisfatetobe.

Ofcourse,Ihavenotexperiencedwar,Ihaveneverresidedinatrench,anditismy

stronghopethatIneverhaveto.Butwhileonthissubject:WarWriters!TimOBrien,for
example,writestoconveytheemotions,experiences,andharshdifficultiesheexperiencedin
theVietnamWar(inTheThingsTheyCarried).Hehas,forlackofabettertermthatcomesto
mind,alotofdemonsinside,whichconformstopointtwoonmylistofreasonstowrite
(InternalConflict).

Overall,Ibelievethatitisdifficultforsomeonetosimplywrite.Whatisneededisa

motivation,asitisneededwithamultitudeofotheractions.Theimpetusmaytaketheformof
ajob(i.e.theneedtomakealiving),anemotionaldrive,arewarduponcompletion,or
perhapsajustasuddenbrainwaveofinspiration.Themotivationwilldefinethework,asitdid
withOrwellswritingcoincidingwiththetumultuoustimeshelivedthrough.Hewasinthe
trenches,hesufferedfromillnessesthroughoutmuchofhisadultlife,andhesawthehorrors
ofthewarand
oftotalitariandictatorsfirsthand.IhopethatImayneverhaveasmuchtowriteaboutashe
did,foralthoughitwouldpointtoaninterestingandeventfullife,itwouldsurelybea
doubleedgedblade.Butfornow,Iliveinmoretranquiltimes,inasafeplace,floodedwith
uselessadvertisementsandsensationalisticnews.Iwillwritemoreabouttheindividuals

problems,withmoreselfcenteredmotives,oratleastthatseemsmorelikely.Perhapsmy
writingwillevolvewiththetimes,asotherswritingshaveinmillenniapast.