Reuben !

Ashley Reuben
John Kubler
English 115
8 December 2014
Dont Judge A Book By Its Cover (Improved Essay #2)
Have you ever watched a music video where the singer was wearing something too showy
and thought to yourself, What was she thinking? She looks like such a slut! Have you ever
walked outside and noticed someone whos clothes were more revealing than yours and thought,
She must be looking for someone to hook-up with. Many people today are quick to judge about
what a person is wearing and how they express themselves. A lot of feminists today think that
women are objectifying themselves by simply wearing an outfit that they probably feel comfortable in. Being a woman is not about covering yourself up so that no one gets the wrong idea.
Women dress for themselves, not to make anyone else happy. If men wear what they want then
why should we be limited in our wardrobe? Before, men were dominant in almost every relationship, but today women are breaking free from this domination. Nowadays, women are being empowered in a number of ways. In movies, songs, music videos, and even by the clothes that they
wear. Every person has their own sense of appropriate sex behavior, and if women want to satisfy
their free expression in a certain way then why not? If you see a man walking around shirtless you
wouldn't think anything of it, but if a woman is walking around in shorts and a crop top she is automatically criticized for it. In order to keep modern romance going today, you need to have equality in the relationship. So if a woman wants to express her sexuality in a certain way, she should be
allowed to do just that. Often times you will find that either the man or the woman will be dominant in the relationship, but for a good relationship it should be balanced out. Women can do

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everything that men can do. Men used to be the only ones who can initiate a conversation, but today many things have changed. Women can take control of the situation if they wanted to.
The film Crazy, Stupid, Love is a movie that shows how dominance can effect a relationship. It shows you how important sexuality is a relationship. In this film, there are four characters
that are important. Cal, married to Emily, is a good husband that goes to work and comes home to
have dinner with his family. His every day life is repetitive and he is not very interesting. Emily,
works as an accountant, decides that there is something missing in their relationship. She needs
something that Cal is not giving her. She needs some intimate excitement and affection in her life,
so she seeks it elsewhere. Emily cheated on Cal by having a one night stand with someone at work
because she wanted to satisfy her sexual desires. Emily tells Cal that she wants a divorce, and instead of fighting for her, Cal just gives up and says that he will sign anything that she wants. This
is a good example of how Cal has forgotten how important it is to keep his marriage exciting on a
sexual level. They had been married for so long that he thought he no longer had to work to keep
the relationship going, while she was trying very hard to find a way to make it work. They were
not on the same page of sexual fulfillment, which caused them to grow farther apart from each
other.
In the film, there is another male character named Jacob. Jacob is a womanizer. He always
hangs out at this bar, searching for who he is going to take home next. He is very dominant, he approaches women with confidence, and never asks them what they want but instead he tells them as
if they dont have a choice. Hannah is studying to be a lawyer and she is at the bar with her friend
when Jacob approaches her. He tries to smooth talk her into going home with him, but of course
she is not looking for a one night stand. Hannah is looking for a lasting relationship. However that
changed when her current boyfriend disappoints her. She decides that she wants some fun in her

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life so she goes back to the bar and tells Jacob that they are going back to his house. In this scene,
she is the dominant one. As they get to his house Hannah asks Jacob to show her all the moves that
he does on all the other girls that he brings here. So the night goes on, and Jacob and Hannah end
up talking throughout the whole night. This scene shows how Jacob is changing because he would
never talk about himself to other women that he would bring home. They end up having a lasting
relationship because Hannah was able to break his shell and bring out the side that wanted to be
loved and cared for. What they were originally planning to be a one night stand turned into what
we think is going to be a long lasting relationship because she was able to accept what he wanted
sexually.
In this film individual identity plays a major role in getting to know the characters. Jacob is
a dominant male who would take a different woman home every night, and you would think that
he is incapable of real love. His character changes over time because he finally meets someone
that he developed feelings for. He changed his habits and he wasnt going to the same bar every
night to pick up women. Hannah was a more of a woman who would have never thought of sleeping with a stranger from a bar for one night. However her character changes in the middle of the
movie because she learns its okay to have a one night stand. Cal was a husband that was unaware
of his wifes needs and he wasnt able to keep his relationship interesting. His character changes as
Jacob teaches him to become more sensual and physical with the women that he wants to be with.
Cal then realized that he still loved his wife, and he decided to fight for her. Emily went from being a lonely wife to wanting to make the relationship work and finding a way.
In the article Technologies of Sexiness: Theorizing Womens Engagement in the Sexualization of Culture Adrienne Evans, Sarah Riley and Avi Shankar talk about how women being
more sexual is rising throughout our world today. Women are liberating their sexual desires and

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they dont do things so that they can be noticed but they do it to make themselves feel good. Such
a resignification can be seen in relation to the popularization of pole-dancing, which has shifted
from an activity typically associated with the sex industry to all female exercise classes. Here, full
embodiment in sexualized culture is contextualized as an expression of empowerment (119). Pole
dancing classes are held in private areas and there is only women taking the class. Therefore,
women are not taking the class to get attention from men, but they are doing it because they want
to. Just as if men play soccer. They are not doing it because they want to get womens attention,
but because they like the sport and it makes them happy when they play it.
Women's wardrobe today has changed from what women used to wear before. Today if you
see a woman wearing shorts and a tank top on a hot summers day, you wouldnt think much right?
Wrong. There are some people today who think that when a woman is wearing revealing clothes,
such as shorts and tank top, is doing it only for attention or because she wants to show off. the
example of Brazilian waxes which have been rebranded through a pleasing yourself discourse,
implying that the practice of genital hair removal is a personal choice (116). Although this
quote isnt talking about clothes, it is still talking about something that women choose to do with
their own bodies. Just because they wax certain areas, it doesnt mean that they are going to be
sexual with someone. They are not doing it to please anyone but themselves. When men posting
for GQ magazine, most people do not argue that they are being objectified. There is even a Sexiest Man Alive cover that goes out once a year for People Magazine.
In the book Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi there are many ways in Marjis character and
her sexuality evolves. First, Marji feels like she is going to finally lose her virginity, but when she
doesnt it is her first time feeling insecure and shy. But this night was different. I felt ready to lose
my innocence. . . . Unfortunately, the next morning I was as much a virgin and as timid as the

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night before Its my fault! Im so unbelievably ugly. Im sure thats why he didnt want
me (212-213). This quote shows how she was ready to lose the one thing that she was holding on
to from her past. Her virginity meant a great deal to her in Iran, but now that she loved her
boyfriend, Enrique, she was ready to lose her innocence. She was trying to explore her sexuality.
But when she woke up the next morning and realized that they had done nothing, she felt very insecure and shy. This was something that she had not felt before because she was always a strong
woman. This signifies a big change in her sexuality because if she was still in Iran, she would feel
differently. I think this is a good thing because she is finally exploring her sexuality for herself,
and not basing it on her culture.
Not only did Marji feel alone and want to be loved, but she also turned to drugs to forget
about her pain. She had so much going on in her life that she couldnt handle anymore. She would
hang out with her friend Ingrid and do drugs so that she can have an escape from reality. Ingrid,
my former enemy, had now become a great friend. She taught me transcendental meditation. With
her, I spent my time either meditating, or tripping. I didnt always like it, but I by far preferred
boring myself with her to having to confront my solitude and my disappointments (218). This
quote shows how Marji is going through so much pain in her life that she doesnt want to face it.
Instead of confronting her problems and figuring out how to fix them she is ignoring them by doing drugs and hanging out with Ingrid.
The article Todays Ultimate Feminists are the Chicks in Crop Tops by Kate Taylor is
attacking Ariel Levys Book Female Chauvinist Pigs. In this article Taylor explains why she thinks
Levy is wrong. The answer is, laboring to look like Pamela Anderson is not empowering. Were
not trying to be empowered . . . this is because they already see themselves as equal to men: They
can work, they can vote, they can bonk on the first date. (1). This quote explains that women are

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not trying to act like a certain person to be empowered. Women dont need to prove themselves
anymore because we feel as if we have already proven ourselves. We can already do the same
things that men do, so why try to empower ourselves. The quote also states that for younger
women, the only reason they dress how they do is for fashion. Crop tops are in style now and that
is why most young women wear them, not because they are looking to be empowered.
Taylor explains that Levy is telling us that by getting boob jobs and wearing provocative
clothing doesnt show people that we are feminists trying show that every woman can be herself.
But then she goes on to argue that maybe doing all those things is being ourselves. If a thong
makes you feel fabulous, wear it. . . . True feminism should celebrate femininity, and make you
feel wonderful to be born a woman. Its a shame some feminists today cant do the same (1). If a
woman feels good in what she is wearing, then she should wear it proudly. Why would she wear
something that makes her feel uncomfortable? Women dont wear thongs so that guys stare at their
behind all day. If men want to stare at a womans behind then thats his problem. Women can not
control what a man thinks when he looks at a woman, but women can control how they feel about
it. Bottom line is, being a woman should be about feeling comfortable enough to wear what you
want and embracing how you look and what you have just like men are proud and have no problem showing off their six pack to the world. Men need to let their partners express themselves by
wearing whatever they want and not telling them that what theyre wearing is too sexy. This way,
the relationship can be balanced, and women can wear whatever they want.
Throughout the past few weeks we have been talking about certain music videos in class.
There is a lot of controversy that can be said of each music video that we watched. Jessica Simpsons These Boots Are Made For Walking, Madonnas Justify My Love, and Miley Cyruss
video Wrecking Ball all have an empowering meaning to them. Simpsons video shows her

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rolling up in a muscle car which already symbolizes power (0:07). In the video it also shows her
on top of the bar dancing, and the guys are lower than her. The guys in this film are portrayed as
sex hungry airheads, and in this scene they are acting like they are hungry for her (0:59). One guy
slaps her butt while she is walking past him, and as a result, she punches him. This punch starts a
fight between every guy in the bar. (1:22). While this fight is going on and the guys are all still on
the floor, Jessica Simpson and a bunch of the other woman go in the middle of the bar and start
dancing as if the men on the floor are completely irrelevant (2:09). So, with all these events going
on in the music video you can see that Jessica Simpson was trying to show that women can have
control over a situation as well. If you look past her wearing shorts and crop top, you will see that
the message she is trying to send is that women should not be afraid to show men that they are just
as powerful as them through their sexuality.
If you dont watch Madonnas video until the end you will think that Madonna is being
very objectified because of all the sexual acts going on throughout the video. Her message is made
at the very end of the video. At the end of her video it shows her walking out with a robe on and
her suitcase, signifying that she is leaving the building that she was in. Then it cuts to a scene of
the man that she was fooling around with, and he is reaching for her as if he is asking her to stay.
At the very end of the video there is a quote that shows up on the screen, poor is the man whose
pleasures depend on the permission of another (4:54). This quote shows that a man who needs to
get permission to get himself pleasured is not a very happy man. This means that Madonna doesnt
need to ask someone to give her pleasure, therefore the men become the weak ones in this video.
Although when you are watching the video, you might think that she is the weak one because she
is the one that is under him and he has all the control. But at the end of the video she flips the tables and makes you see what her real message was. Her message was that women dont need to

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get permission from anyone to be pleasured, they can do what they want just like men can. This
message can be used for other situations as well, it does not have to be about pleasure. For example, you can connect it to women wearing what they want without needing permission to go out in
public.
There are many arguments that can be said about how the media is becoming more sexual
and how it is affecting our society. For one, celebrities are supposed to be role models for children.
What are children going to think when they see their favorite singer make a music video and
where they are half naked dancing? Jessica Simpson shows you that even though she was a waitress, her purpose was not to serve the men that were there andMadonna showed you that no one
can control your life but you. So if you ask me, these women are good role models because of the
message of equality that they are trying to communicate to their fans. They are trying to show that
women can take control and do the same thing that men can do.
Many people argue that women might give men the wrong idea by wearing provocative
clothing. When a man sees a woman wearing shorts they might automatically think that she is doing it to get his attention, so he thinks that he should make a move. However, this may not be true.
Telling a woman what she can and can not wear is very insulting. Why should she let someone
else dictate how she wears her clothes or how she should look when she leaves the house? If you
tell woman not to wear certain clothing because of how other people will feel, then you are the one
that is objectifying her. Being empowered is about taking control and how can a woman be in control when she is choosing her outfit based on the publics opinion.
If everyone was not so quick to judge, the world would be a much better place. So next
time you see someone walking in the street wearing a crop top with jeans, dont think about what a
slut she is. Instead think about how lucky she must be to feel so comfortable with herself to be

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able to show off her body that she worked hard to get. Next time you see a celebrity making a music video that you disapprove of, why dont you look past the singer wearing provocative clothing
and try to think what message the singer is trying to send. Next time you think that you are not
good enough for anyone because you are not classified as beautiful or having a curvy body, remember that there are people are appreciated in this world not because of their physical features
but because of what they are doing with their lives. Instead of automatically looking for the bad in
people, take time to look deeper into the situation and find something positive that can be said
about it.

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Works Cited

10 Most Powerful Women in Media. Forbes. Forbes Magazine, n.d. Web. 22 Oct. 2014.
Madonna - Justify My Love (video). YouTube. YouTube, 26 Oct. 2006. Web. 22 Oct. 2014.
Jessica Simpson - These Boots Are Made for Walkin YouTube. YouTube, 3 Oct. 2009. Web. 22
Oct. 2014.
Miley Cyrus - Wrecking Ball. YouTube. YouTube, 9 Sept. 2013. Web. 21 Oct 2014.
Satrapi, Marjane. The Complete Persepolis. USA: Random Houses, Inc., 2007. Print.
Crazy, Stupid, Love. Dir. John Requa and Glenn Ficarra. Perf. Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone.
Warner Bros., 2011. Film Seen Online.
Foucalt, and Butler. Technologies of Sexiness: Theorizing Womens Engagement in the
Sexualization of Culture. N.p.: SAGE, 20 Feb. 2010. PDF.
Taylor, Kate. Todays Ultimate Feminists Are the Chicks in Crop Tops. The Guardian. N.p., 22
Mar. 2006. Web. 22 Oct. 2014.