AUTHORS NAME: Jennifer Strawser

SINGLE SUBJECT LESSON TEMPLATE

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1.

TITLE OF LESSON: Peer Review Workshop: 1984 Research Paper

2.

CURRICULUM AREA & GRADE LEVEL

a. English 12 (ERWC for Seniors/12th grade)

3.

DATE OF LESSON/TIME NEEDED

a. Thursday, 11/6
b. Periods 2 (9:12-10:07) and 3 (1025:-11:22)
c. 55 minutes

4.

RESOURCES: Attach materials needed to implement the lesson - e.g., power point presentation, text, graphic organizer
i. Printed copies of student rough drafts (one copy of each draft)
ii. Highlighters, pencils, pens
iii. Peer Review Template Handout (22 copies)
iv. ERWC Sample Essay for Task 1
v. Document Projector

5.

CA CONTENT STANDARD(S): Address the content area and/or common core standards
a. CCSS.RI.11-12.6: Determine an author's point of view or purpose in a text in which the rhetoric is particularly
effective, analyzing how style and content contribute to the power, persuasiveness or beauty of the text.

6.

CA ELD STANDARD(S): Address how this lesson helps develop language

a. ELD 11-12.7. Evaluating Language Choice: Bridging: Explain how successfully writers and speakers structure texts
and use language (e.g., specific word or phrasing choices) to persuade the reader (e.g., by providing wellworded
evidence to support claims or connecting points in an argument in specific ways) or create other specific effects, with
light support.

7.

BIG IDEA ADDRESSED/ENDURING UNDERSTANDING: Why this material is important to teach; how it fits in with the unit
a. Students will learn that participating in a peer review is a valuable part of the writing process.
b. Students will learn how to apply the essay rubric/grading scale to student essays.

8.

ESSENTIAL QUESTIONS: Open-ended, arguable questions that organize the purpose of learning
a. How can collaboration be a part of individual work, such as essay writing?
b. How can my classmates help me improve my writing?
c. How does evaluating my classmates help me to view my own essay differently?

9.

OBJECTIVE(S) OR LEARNING GOAL(S): Choose one: Cognitive, Affective, Psychomotor or Language Development
a. Cognitive - After I have guided students through the peer review process using a sample essay and the Peer Review
Template, students will be able to evaluate peer essays to determine the authors point of view or purpose, and
analyze how style (boxes 4-6 on template) and content (boxes 1-3 on template) contribute to the power and
persuasiveness of the text. (Content Standard: CCSS.RI.11-12.6)
b. Language Development After I have modeled for students how to use the Peer Review Template and students have
practiced evaluating peer essays, students will be able to explain how successfully writers structure texts (box 4 on
template) and use language (boxes 5 and 6 on template) to persuade the reader (e.g., by using evidence to support
claims boxes 1-3 on template). (ELD Standard: ELD 11-12.7).

10. ASSESSMENT(S): Choose one: Diagnostic - entry level, Formative - progress-monitoring or Summative evaluative
a. Formative formal. Students will receive credit for completing one peer review template for two different student
essays (two templates total). Students must provide information in each of the boxes for full credit.
11. INSTRUCTIONAL STRATEGIES: What the teacher does
1. Anticipatory Set (10 minutes total)
The teacher will ask students to come in and get out their spiral
notebook. (1 minute)

12. STUDENT ACTIVITIES: What the students do

1. Anticipatory Set
Students will get out their spiral notebooks.

The teacher will sell the peer review activity by telling students
shes selected a sample essay on the most popular task Can a
society based on hate survive? and that students will be able to

Students will listen as the teacher explains the sample essay

theyll be viewing.

read the sample essay as well as their peers essays to get ideas
for their own essays. (1 minute)
The teacher will project the first three paragraphs of the sample
essay on the overhead and ask students read silently and score
the essay using the class essay rubric. The teacher will ask
students to write their score in their spiral notebooks and write 1-2
sentences justifying the score. (6 minutes)

Students read the first three paragraphs of the sample essay and
sore the essay using the class essay rubric. Students will write 1-2
sentences justifying their score in their spiral notebooks.

The teacher will lead a discussion where students can share what
letter grade they gave the essay and why. (2 minutes)

Students will participate in the discussion by listening to peers and

contributing what letter grade they gave the essay and the
reasons for the score.

2. State Objective (3 minutes)

Teacher will explain that students are going to practice evaluating
peer essays to determine the authors point of view or purpose,
and analyze how style (boxes 4-6 on template) and content
(boxes 1-3 on template) contribute to the power and
persuasiveness of the text. The teacher will write: STYLE +
CONTENT = POWER on the board.

2. State Objective
Students will listen as the teacher explains the objective. Students
will read/see the condensed version of the objective on the board.

This benefits my ELLs because theyre able to both hear and

see the objective, first hearing the objective explained using
elevated, academic, but developmentally appropriate
language, and second to see the objective in a condensed,
version using everyday language.
The teacher will also tell the students that she hopes that todays
activity will give students a better understanding of the
expectations/grading criteria for the assignment.
I have noticed that the essay rubric provided by the district is
somewhat vague and uses language that is difficult for my
students, especially my ELLs to understand.
I specifically created this template with questions that relate
to each of the 6 areas of the rubric in order to make the rubric
and expectations more accessible for my students, because
it was evident with the last essays that they dont understand
how to meet the abstract language of the rubric I needed to
give my students something more concrete to focus their
essay goals.
3. Input Modeling (12 minutes)
The teacher will project a different paragraph/excerpt from later in
the sample essay for students to read. The teacher will call
students at random (student names are written on paper, folded,
and placed in bowl/cup on the desk) to read one sentence of the
paragraph until the class has read the paragraph.

3. Input - Modeling
Students will listen as the paragraph is read, reading one
sentence out loud if/when their name is called.

The teacher will display the peer review template and read the
first question: does the author include a thesis/claim? The
teacher will call on volunteers or use the randomized system,
depending on class participation levels.

Students will consider the question and volunteer their answer

and evidence (i.e., yes the author includes a thesis when they
say insert authors quote here.).

The teacher will continue modeling for students how to fill out the
peer review template handout until the first three questions have
been asked and answered.

Students will continue to participate and volunteer answers until

the first three questions on the peer review handout have been
filled out.

The teacher will ask students to do question # 4 on their own,

charting out the organizational pattern of the paragraphs in their
spiral notebooks.

Students will listen to the instructions.

4. Check for Understanding (1 minute)

Teacher asks students to indicate with their fingers which question
theyre working to answer.

4. Check for Understanding

Students will indicate with their fingers which question theyre
working to answer.

5. Guided Practice (9 minutes)

The teacher will encourage students to look at their annotations

5.

Guided Practice

for a hint, and after students work on their own to answer question
#4, the teacher will ask students to share with the class what
organizational pattern they identified. Working together the class
will describe the organizational outline of the paragraph.

The students will work independently to answer question # 4 from

the template. Students will participate in whole group discussion
to find consensus for how the paragraph is organized.

The teacher will prompt students to answer questions #5 and 6 as

a group.

Students will work together and with the teacher to answer

questions #5 and 6.

6. Independent Practice (15 minutes)

The teacher will ask students to move their desks into a circle and
tell them that theyll be using the same template to evaluate their
peers essays. The teacher will instruct students to bring their peer
review template handouts with them.

6. Independent Practice
Students will move their desks into a circle, bringing with them
their template handouts.

The teacher will hand out the essays (student author names have
been removed and replaced with a number) and ask students to
begin.

Students will use the peer review template to evaluate their peers
essays.

The teacher will monitor while students read each others essays
and fill out their templates. When most of the students have
completed the template the teacher will pull names from the box
and ask students to answer a question from the template using
their peers essay. After two students have answered, the teacher
will ask students to pass the essays to the right and complete
another peer review (if time permits).

Students who are called on will answer the questions. Students

will pass their essays to the right and begin evaluating their
second peer essay using the template (if time permits).

7. Closure (5 minutes)
The teacher will ask students to assess their own learning by
answering the following questions in your spiral notebook:
1. Did the template help to clarify the expectations for the
assignment? If so, how? If not, how could it be changed so that it
would?
2. How will you use todays activity to benefit your own essay?

7. Closure
Students will complete a quick write to assess their learning for
the day by answering the two questions.

MATERIALS:
ERWC SAMPLE ESSAY FOR TASK 1 (The section highlighted in gray will be used for the warmup/anticipatory set. The section highlighted in yellow will be used for the modeling part of the
lesson):
The Trendy Teen Shoe: A Re-Envisioning of OBriens Future
When browsing for magazines at the drugstore, I overheard two young girls eighth or
ninth graders probably expressing their opinions to each other about the pictures in the
magazine they were jointly reading. Although I couldnt see the cover of the magazine, I
happened to see one of the images that sparked some of their commentary, and it turns out that
this image an advertisement for Rimmel make-up (Hate Image 1) was in the April issue of
Seventeen magazine that I ended up purchasing as a means of assessing teenage girl culture.
At home, I had a chance to look closely at this ad which features a beautiful, uniquelooking young woman and reflect on the girls comments. Thats a stupid headband, said the
girl in the sweatshirt. Look at her teeth! Shes kind of ugly, said the other. This went on as they

flipped through the rest of the magazine. Having walked away to buy my magazines, I didnt
catch all of their conversation, but what I did hear was mostly in the same vein: cruel and
judgmental.
It was unnecessary to hear all of their comments for me to know that this hate-filled
attitude exists within the teenage girl community. In fact, it was knowing about this attitude that
led me to my opinion regarding whether or not OBrien speaks the truth in George Orwells 1984
when he claims that a society can survive if it is based on hate. Ultimately, and lamentably, the
answer is yes, and no society better proves OBriens point than the society of teenage girls in
the United States.
To avoid causing confusion, I feel I must explain that the hatred I speak of differs in some
ways from the hatred OBrien speaks of, but I think the two types come from a similar frame of
mind. In between moments of torturing him, OBrien tells Winston that the Party the ruling
totalitarian regime in 1984 is not interested in the good of others[and is] interested solely in
power. Not wealth or luxury or long life or happiness; only power, pure power (Orwell 217).
While OBrien means procuring power on a large government scale, the idea can still be applied
to female youths, who feel powerful in putting others down. So many teenage girls spend their
energy trying to gain some kind of upper hand by hating others, attacking people to their faces
or behind their backs or trying to make people feel bad. In a single-page feature entitled 3 Ways
toMake Your Friday Night Fun! Seventeen magazine provides an example of the last type of
power-grab: making people feel bad. You could binge-watch Dawsons Creekagain, the article
suggests, and then asks, But why not try something that will make everyone jeal[ous] on
Monday? (121, Hate Image 2). To me, behind this lighthearted article lies the serious implication
that a teenage girls concern should be to exclude others and make them envious. How is it not
hateful on the part of the girl who chooses to exclude and then rub it in her peers faces that she
lives a fun lifestyle that they will never be a part of?
The hate does not end with cruelty to people. Power can be attained and maintained in the
teenage girl society by hating things even, through a strict code of what is acceptable and what
is not, a code that conveys the message that anyone who does not conform to the ever-changing

definition of cool must, of course, be hated. After all, as OBrien points out, the formula for
achieving power is inflicting pain and humiliation[and] tearing human minds to pieces and
putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing (Orwell 220). Isnt that
partially what magazines made for teenager girls are trying to do, reshape minds and show
readers how they should look and act and smell, what they should like and dislike and think
about things? Seventeen contains an example of this notion in the feature Into It or Over It?
(Hate Image 3). Apparently, insta-challenges (and I dont even know what these are) are in
according to a 53% majority, but mustache stuff is out according to a 61% majority (26). Too
bad if you still like taking pictures with mustaches; the magazine implies it is pass and has
given girls more fuel for hatred, the license to look down upon (and have power over) people not
following this obscure fake-mustache-related rule of conformity. So inevitably, isnt at least part
of the purpose of these magazines to make teenage girls hate their individual selves and use
hating others as a means of feeling better, feeling powerful?
In a media-controlled world that supports such hatred, it is not surprising that, even
though they want what OBrien and the Party members of 1984 dont care about wealth or
luxury or long life or happiness teen girls do not spend most of their energy trying to improve
their own lives; instead, they focus on trying to keep others down. OBrien tells Winston that if he
wants an image of what the future will be like, he should imagine a boot stamping on a human
face forever (Orwell 220). If you want an image of the future society of teenage girls, simply
imagine a trendy teen shoe instead of that boot; there is no indication that this hate-filled
mentality will go away any time soon.
Of course, it is true that not all teenage girls fit this mean girl mold. Some even fight
against this kind of hatred. Nonetheless, the problem persists, and that is my point. The mindset
of hate will go on, and those who get the power through being cruel and judgmental will keep the
power. The prevalence of bullying and cyber-bullying, related to depression, psychosomatic
problems and even suicide attempts (van Geel qtd. in Seaman), certainly indicates that mean
behavior is ever-present. The fact that there are an increasing number of school-based

programs aimed at preventing bullying represents the necessity for fighting against the
powerful force of hatred (Seaman).
Within the teenage girl society, female youths must work within the system of power
grabbing, of hating, and find positivity where they can. A comment like actress Selena Gomezs,
used within Seventeen magazines feature on feminism (Hate Image 4), symbolizes grasping for
something positive. She speaks of being grateful for her friends because she appreciates that
feeling where you know you can leave a room and those girls arent going to talk about you
(122). How unfortunate that she and so many other girls have to be grateful for something
that should be the norm. OBrien is correct, Im afraid, when he says that a society can survive
with hate as one of its dominating features. Even though teenage girls are a small-scale society
as compared to what OBrien talks about, their community still shows that hate can prevail.
Works Cited
Hollingsworth, Amy. Hate Magazine Mar. 2014. Web.

http://glossi.com/ANHollings/104317-

hate- magazine?tkn=a49e9eb0ef5e4e7dbc503a7019d773f9
Orwell, George. 1984. Austin: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1977. Print.
Seaman, Andrew M. Bullying among kids tied to suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts. The JAMA
Network Journal, 10 Mar. 2014. Web. 15 March 2014.
Seventeen Apr. 2014: Rimmel advertisement, 26, 121, 122. Print.

Works Used for Hate Magazine

Seventeen Apr. 2014: Rimmel advertisement, 26, 121, 122. Print.

PEER REVIEW TEMPLATE HANDOUT

Rubric Category

Evidence claim prompt

Does the author
Evidence:

Box 1: Response to the topic

Include a thesis/claim in the

introduction by restating
the prompt and taking a
stand?

Box 2: Understanding of
reading (1984)

Does the author support

their claim using evidence
from:
1. 1984
2. Research/outside
sources

Box 3: Quality and clarity of

thought

Connect the claim and the

evidence to the prompt?

Box 4: Organization &

development

Organize the essay in a

logical pattern?

Box 5: Syntax and Command

of language

Use academic/formal
language throughout the
essay?

Box 6: Grammar, usage,

mechanics

Write sentences that are

clear and easy to
understand?
Spell words correctly?
Punctuate correctly?

Describe the organization

pattern:

NA