Episode 5 Part 2

1. NICK: Ah, I co-starred with Russell Crowe in this one.

2. HECTOR: You, in Gladiator? Wow, Nick, I didn't realise. What were you?
3. NICK: The centurion.
4. HECTOR: Which centurion?
5. NICK: Ah! Here it is. There, that's me, on the ground.
6. HECTOR: Huh! A dead centurion.
7. NICK: Yeah, good, eh? I had some words, but they were cut.
8. HECTOR: What did you say?
9. NICK: "Nwrraaahhh!"
10. Hey, but now I've got the whole script just for me on television every night.
11. HECTOR: Nick, tell me, what is it?
12. NICK: It's my show. When I'm a star, I will not forget you, my friend.
13. VOICE ON TELEVISION: ...Join me at 5.30 PM today when I'll show you how to
14. make a delicious chocolate mousse, a dessert for lovers. You'll need chocolate,
15. eggs and butter. And don't forget the way to a heart is through the stomach.
16. HECTOR: The way to the heart is through the stomach. What does that mean?
17. NICK: It means if you want a girlfriend, cook for her.
18. HECTOR: I want to learn how to cook.
19. ANNIE: Anyway, what do you mean by I watch too many adverts?
20. BRIDGET: Well, remember when you wanted us to change our washing powder?
21. ANNIE: Oh, ho! "Hello there. As a mother, I must fight different stains every day.
22. Tomato ketchup. Chocolate - huh! Gravy. And egg. But help is here! I will wash one
23. shirt in ordinary washing powder and the other in new Zap! So, the shirt washed in
24. normal washing powder is - oh! - still dirty, but the shirt washed in new Zap is
Oh!
25. BRIDGET: Annie, have you seen my red T-shirt anywhere?
26. ANNIE: Oops!
27. BRIDGET: See what I mean?

28. HECTOR: Oh, hello, Bridget.

29. BRIDGET: Hello, Hector.
30. HECTOR: Oh, hi, Annie.
31. NICK Oh, thank you. Yes, I know.
32. HECTOR: Do you know where Nick is?
33. BRIDGET: No, we've just arrived.
34. NICK: I'm a great actor.
35. ANNIE: I think I know where Nick is.
36. NICK: .....Would love to do the part, but I'm too busy.
37. No, it's not the money, but I don't need 15 million quid. Look, talk to my agent,
Bridget, huh?
38. BRIDGET: I have an idea.
39. NICK: Oh, so Robert de Niro said yes already.
40. Hmm, well... hello?
41. Telephone rings
42. BRIDGET [pretending to be a Hollywood agent's secretary]: Hello? Nick Jessop?
43. NICK: Yeah.
44. BRIDGET [pretending to be a Hollywood agent's secretary]: I have an executive
45. from Warner Brothers on the line for you.
46. NICK: Right.
47. HECTOR [pretending to be a Hollywood executive]: Hello Nick. You are very big in
48. England. What are you working on now?
49. NICK: Hi. Well, it's something that all of England watches. It's the... You can laugh,
50. but tomorrow night at 6 o'clock, you will see that Nick from next door has star
51. quality and then Spielberg will call.
52. Now excuse me, I must learn my line.
53. ANNIE [composing email]: You know how much l love adverts.
54. Do you remember my Chunky Chunks?
55. "Hello and welcome to the Chunky Chunks challenge!" And Zap!
56. "New Zap!"
57. My favourite advert right now is for chocolate mousse. "Chocolate mousse, the
58. chocolate dessert for lovers".