Katherine

Griffin
Writing 310
Rough Draft
Final Paper

Eight million dogs and cats enter shelters in the United States every year and
over half will not make it out alive. This is a problem that pulls at the heartstrings of
any animal lover. Taking this heart-breaking statistic I looked into our own
community of Santa Barbara for an organization that was assisting in this issue.
Which is what lead me to the discovery of Deserving Dogs Rescue currently based in
Lompoc, California. Deserving Dogs serves all dogs in need regaurdless of breed or
age. By utilizing the concepts of ethos, pathos, logos, and Kairos I will argue that
Deserving Dogs goes beyond just advertising adoptable dogs by assuring that these
dogs are provided with the appropriate care and training once they are placed in
their forever homes.
During my extensive process of finding an organization, reaching out to a
representative, arranging a meeting, doing some pre-search of the organization,
conducting an interview, analyzing the interview data, pulling terms from class that
connected to the data, and putting together this final paper the topic has finally
become clear to me. I will be connecting what I have learned in this writing class
with my interview from a representative Deserving Dogs as well the artifacts that
the organization supplied to me. I will be explaining how effectively Deserving Dogs
is at using their writing to get a message across to potential adopters and I will also

Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 9:56 AM

Comment [1]: Use this APA resource to
help you format your paper like a standard
APA paper. I want a title (an interesting one),
a Running head, the AUSB info, your name,
1-inch margins, etc.
http://www.ccc.commnet.edu/library/apa.pdf

Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 9:56 AM
Comment [2]: L L

Whenever you use hard statistics like this,
you need to cite where you got it.
Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 9:57 AM
Comment [3]: I dont think this phrase is
necessarytry to find a different way to
connect the parts/sentences.
Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 9:57 AM
Comment [4]: sp
Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 9:58 AM
Comment [5]: Not needed. (Right? Read
it without it. Does it work for you?)
Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 9:59 AM
Comment [6]: Wooooo. I like this a LOT.
Youve answered the so what? question.

One q: could you work in the specific genres
that youll be analyzing? Could that enhance
this thesis statement? (I dont know the
answer. Give it a try though.)
Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 10:00 AM
Comment [7]: This is an incomplete
sentenceit lacks a subject/noun (who or
what the sentence is about) and a
verb/predicate that, together, form a complete
thought. I strongly recommend that you check
out this resource:
http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/sentence
-patterns/.

Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 10:01 AM
Comment [8]: <~~ Great stuff. Try to
work this into your thesis.

Also, you dont need to tell me Im going to
do this, Im going to do that. You can just go
ahead and do it.

explain how this organization could have done something a little differently in order
to have been more effective. The organization I was fortunate enough to grant me
an interview was Deserving Dogs. Their mission is to rescue and rehabilitate dogs
from shelters all over the state of California regardless of preexisting health
conditions, age, or breed. They also place a huge focus on after-care, which means
they provide follow-up training and health services for the dogs they adopt out. My
informant was the Founder and Director Angela Adan. She is responsible for pulling

Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 10:02 AM

Comment [9]:
Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 10:03 AM
Comment [10]: 2 things,

1, I know! Youve already established this.
No need to say it twice.

2, Youre switching gears here, so Id
consider starting a new paragraph.

each and every dog from the shelter and find temporary housing for them until
there permeate family has been found. She also is the lead trainer for the
organization as well as a registered vet tech. She deals with a vast majority of the
health problems she comes across on her own in order to keep the cost of vet care
down. She also works with the dogs pre and post adoption to make sure they are
adjusting into their new home and that their new families are keeping up with the
necessary training and health care.
Even though Angela has her hands full with all her daily responsibilities to
keep the dogs happy and healthy she must step out of the role she loves and put on
her next hat and do the job she described as disliking the most, which is finding
ways to reach future adopters. Through Angelas work to find future families she
uses all three rhetorical strategies, ethos, pathos, logos, and Kairos.
The first way in which Angela appeals to future adopters is through pathos,

Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 10:05 AM

Comment [11]: Each paragraph in a
paper, Griffin, should focus on one main
idea. Think of a paper as laying bricks or
somethingeach brick, one by one,
eventually forms a wall.

Would it make sense to devote one
paragraph just to explaining who your
informant is1 paragraph exclusively
devoted to Angela?

I think so. Paragraphs are your friends. J
Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 10:05 AM
Comment [12]: Already stated. Keep the
train rolling.

which means you are connecting with a persons sense of pity. She also used a
strong presence of ethos, which appeals to a persons empathy. She did this with the
use of stories of these poor dogs troubled pasts, from being left abandon on the side

Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 10:06 AM

Comment [13]: It does? I thought
empathy is an emotionlike someone
sense of pity (pathos).

of a street to being beaten and left for dead in a backyard. She also uses ethos
through a photograph showing a poor puppy that suffers from mental delays and
has been left homeless because of it. Angela does a great job of taking her potential
adopters past just hooking them with a sad picture or story but into the logos realm.
She provides follow-up training and health care to her dogs she adopts out. She
wants to appeal to a persons logical side. Almost everyone can fall victim to a sweet
photo but reality will quickly set in once you get that sweet puppy home. By
offering these classes and after care she hits all three rhetorical strategies with her
writing and I believe does so very effectively.

The first piece of writing in which I believe Deserving Dogs effectively

reaches her audience with the use of logos is in a flyer about a free training seminar
class. Angela mentioned that she sends a copy of her most recent flyer home with

Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 10:07 AM

Comment [14]: I think youre mixing
words here, Griffin.

Pathos = appeal to emotion.

Slow down and try to re-see this
paragraph. What point are you trying to
make, and what are you basing it on? (It
needs to be based on evidenceartifacts or
interview data.)
Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 10:08 AM
Comment [15]: <~~ Good.

all new adoptees. These training sessions are open to the public but she says she
makes a special point to gear her flyers toward her adopters. She does so by the
placement of these flyers. By specifically sending a flyer home with someone who
has just taken in a new family member she is directly choosing her audience for this
message. She also provides a few bullet points on the flyer that include things new
dog parents might be interested in learning. She points out that she will go over
basic training techniques, potty training skills, and puppy proofing your home. All
three of these things will be of special interest to the people that just took one of her
dogs into their home. Another flyer she says she has lots of success with are the
ones in which she advertises current adoptable dogs. In our interview we spoke at
length about the many ways in which she has tried and failed to get this message out

Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 10:09 AM

Comment [16]: Good Angela.

Id lke you to provide a few direct citations
from the flyers themselves. That word-for-
word language will usually give you (the
writer of a paper) a stronger case.

there. She has found through all of this trial and error that including a picture of the
dog and a few bullet points about their past more often then not will grab the
readers attention and pull them in. This is how she applies her ethos strategy. She
also shared that when she uses this method when people will call her about a
particular dog they will in fact say something about being moved or touched by the
photo on the flyer. She says she doesnt take a great deal of time placing flyers
around town but instead posts everything online. She is very active on her
Facebook page and finds she gets an awesome response that way. She will however
keep some flyers of current dogs in her car and if she happens upon a spot that looks
like it has a high traffic area of some dog lovers she will post a few. For example she
posts at the entrance to dog parks or pet supply stores most often. Occasionally she
will leave some at coffee shops or even some bars on State Street. This is an
excellent use of her Kairos. Although she said that she doesnt get to hung up on
worrying about where she posts these her method of stumbling upon the right
place is really quite genius.

Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 10:02 AM

Comment [17]: This comment is in
reference to the whole paragraph. When I see
thiseven before I start readingI think,
Ahhhhhhh! Attack of the page-long
paragraph! See if you like this metaphor:
Pretend your whole paper is a big ,juicy steak.
Do you want your reader to enjoy that steak in
easy-to-chew, digestable bites? Or do you
want them to start eating the whole thing in
one piece (think: zombie).
Paragraphs are like those bites. Give your
reader your argument in little, digestable, oneidea-at-a-time bits.
Readers need to be able to see the different
parts/pieces/bites of the argument that theyre
chewing on.

Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 10:10 AM

Comment [18]: Alright, so youre
bringing up something importanthow she
distributes her writing/message.

Worth elaborating more on it? And giving it
its own paragraph?

Also, Griffin: Im wondering why you dont
have any quotes from Angela ?
Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 10:11 AM
Comment [19]: Why? You didnt
convince me that this is an effective use of
kairos.

Another aspect of her job requires her to take the dogs that she is not only
adopting out but also training to different cities all over the state. This also helps
further the message of Deserving Dogs because it allows her to leave her flyers
wherever she feels is appropriate. She recently took a trip up north to San Francisco
where she came across a dog friendly bar and because she always carries a stack of
adoptable dog flyers she was able to post a couple in the bar. One the day of our
interview she actually had a couple from the bay area driving down to Santa
Barbara to meet one of her dogs that they had seen from the flyer. Again this plays

Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 10:11 AM

Comment [20]: already stated

into her ability to be thoughtful about her Audience. If she had just a flyer at just a
regular old bar in San Francisco she may have not found a dog loving couple stroll
through but because she knew the clientele this dog friendly bar would pull in she
knew it was the right place to put a flyer. The last piece of writing I was able to get
my hands on from Deserving Dogs was a health and wellness flyer that along with
her training flyer goes home with new adoptive parents. The clinic is aimed at
helping new dog owners feel more comfortable with the needs of a pet. The
example Angela shared with me in our interview was that many times new families
are unfamiliar with the the routines of shots and vaccinations as well as reading the
body language of dog that something may be amiss. This clinic that Deserving Dogs
puts on not only supplies affordable vet care but also takes the time to explain all
the medical dirty details that go into owning a pet that a typical vet may not have
time to do. This plays into the logos strategy very strongly because she is showing
the logical side of owning a pet and making it less foreign and scary for the first time
dog owner, or even third or forth owner. Her flyer for the wellness clinic has a brief
list of services offered as well as before and after photos of dogs that have come to
clinic.
While it was initially difficult to think of a way that Deserving Dogs could be
more effective with their writings I was able to come up with one suggestion that I
think would be really helpful for Angela. I believe that if Angela started a blog and
added the web address to all of her preexisting flyers and a link to the organizations
Facebook page it would really benefit her ability to get her message out. A blog
would allow Angela to elaborate in more detail about current dogs situations. She

Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 10:11 AM

Comment [21]: Nice. There ya go.
Zack De Piero 3/6/2015 10:13 AM
Comment [22]: 2 things:

1, youre changing directions/gears. New
paragraph!

2, get my hands on is really informal
languagethat kind of casual/conversation-y
language isnt usually a convention of the
academic research paper genre.

could provide a photo with a paragraph about the how the dog was found and taken
in by Deserving Dogs. She could also provide more information about the types of
training she specializes in in order to bring in outside business in for training
services. Another thing that might be included in a blog could be some helpful tips
about how to solve some health issues at home. Angela is very knowledgeable about
how to solve as many issues at home as possible and her knowledgeable would be
extremely valuable to the average pet owner. Overall I believe that through the use
of a blog that is regularly updated with new adoption stories, and advice would
really help Deserving Dogs with the message of saving dogs.

Deserving Dogs is an incredible organization that is devoted to rescuing dogs

despite any attributes that may otherwise get them overlooked by any other dog
rescues. Deserving Dogs uses many rhetorical strategies to get their point across.
The concept of ethos, pathos, and logos are demonstrated in their ability to create
advertisements for current adoptable dogs. They also use the rhetorical strategy
Kairos effectively by the placement of flyers that describe the services they provide
such healthcare and training. Angela at Deserving Dogs has extensive knowledge
about how to find homes for adoptable dogs. She is focused not only on the initial
adoption but also all the love, care, time, and effort that goes into keeping both dog
and family happy in their new arrangement for years to come.