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2015

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373.167.1:811.111
81.2-92
441
91

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91 . / .. .
/ : , 2015. 150 . ( ).
ISBN 978-5-222-24719-8
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ISBN 978-5-222-24719-8

373.167.1:811.111
81.2-92

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, , 2015

- www.phoenixbooks.ru


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a adjective
A.E. American English
Br. E. British English
int interjection
n noun
pl plural
p.p. past participle
pres. p. present participle
smth. something -, -
Syn. synonym
v verb

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ANECDOTES, JOKES AND FAIRY-TALES.


,
SHE WAS A STAR PUPIL
Once a schoolgirl was at a dinner party. At table, she was next to a famous astronomer and decided to talk to him.
What do you do in life? she asked.
I study astronomy, he answered.
Dear me! cried the young girl. I finished astronomy last year.

star [st:]
next to
famous [fems] ,
astronomer [strnm]
astronomy [strnm]

!
What do you do in life? ?

HE SHOT THEM ALL


There was a traveler who liked to boast very
much. One day he said to his friend I shot tigers
in Africa.
Its a lie, answered his friend. There are no
tigers in Africa.
Right you are. I shot them all.

shoot [u:t] (shot [ot])


all [:l] ,
traveler [trvlr]
boast [bst] ()
friend [frend]
tiger [tagr]
Africa [frk]
lie [la]
Right [rat] you are. .

A MISER PAYS TWICE*


The theatre was very crowded. The rich man
called over an usher and promised him a sizable
tip if hed give him a down-front aisle seat. I love
mystery pictures, the rich man explained, but I
cant enjoy any movie unless I see it up close.
The usher led the way down and managed to
find a seat for the rich man. As he sat down, the
man gave the usher his tip one thin dime.

crowded [kradd] ; crowd


call over [k:lv]
usher [r] ( )
promise [prms]
sizable [sazbl] ,
tip ,
down-front [danfrnt] .
aisle seat [al si:t]
mystery picture
explain [ksplen]
enjoy [n]

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The usher looked at the tip. Then he bent down


and whispered into the rich mans ear, vengefully
The butler did it.

close [klz]
lead the way down
manage [mn] ,
thin [n]
dime [dam]
bend down
whisper [wspr]
vengefully [venfl]
butler [btlr]

* : .

A TRAMP AND A FARMER


A tramp asked a farmer for work.
You can gather eggs for me, said the farmer,
if you dont steal any.
Sir, answered the tramp with tears in his
eyes, you can trust me. For twenty years I was
manager of a bath-house and I never took a bath.

tramp [trmp]
ask [:sk] for ,
farmer [f:mr]
work [w:k]
gather[gr]
egg [eg]
steal [sti:l] ,
tears [tz]
trust [trst]
twenty [twent]
manager [mnr]
bath-house [b:has] ,

A PAINTER AND A BANKER


A rich London banker asked a well-known
painter to do a little thing for his album. The painter did it and asked one hundred pounds.
Why, cried the banker, it took you only five
minutes to do it.
Yes, answered the painter, but it took me
twenty years to learn how to do it in five minutes.

banker [bkr]
well-known [welnn] ,
little thing [] .
album [lbm]
hundred [hndrd] ,
cry [kra] (cried)
it took you only five minutes

learn [l:n]
how [ha] ,

!
It takes me just ten minutes to get to school/university. ,
/ .
It takes only half an hour to have a pie cooked.
.
Why did it take you so long to find it out? ,
?

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ANECDOTES, JOKES AND FAIRY-TALES

JOSEPH TURNER AND HIS DOCTOR


Joseph Turner was a great English painter. He
had a dog. He liked his dog very much. One day
he was playing with his dog. Suddenly the dog
broke his leg. Turner sent for a well-known doctor.
When the doctor came, Turner said, Doctor,
my dog has broken his leg. I know that you are
too good for this work but please do it. It is so
important to me.
The doctor was angry but he did not show it.
The next day the doctor asked Turner to come to
his place. Turner promised to come as he thought
that the doctor wanted to see him about his dog.
When Turner came to the doctors house, the
doctor said, Mr. Turner, Im so glad to see you.
Id like to ask you to paint my door. I know that
you are too good for this work but, please, do it. It
is so important to me.

Joseph Turner [ozf t:n]


suddenly [sdnl] ,
break ones leg [brek wnz leg]
It is so important to me. .
be angry [gr]
show [] ; ,
want [wnt]

A PAINTER AND AN OLD COUNTRY MAN


One day a painter, looking out of the window,
saw an old country man going by and thought the
man would make a good subject for a picture. So
he sent his servant to tell the man that her master would like to paint him. The old man hesitated
and asked what the painter would pay him. She
said he would pay him a pound. The old man still
hesitated. Come on, she said. Its an easy way
to earn a pound. Oh, I know that, he answered.
I was only wondering how I should get the paint
off afterwards.

painter [pentr]
looking out [lk at]
window [wnd]
old country man [ld kntrmn]
subject [sbkt] ,
send [send]
servant [s:vnt] ,
master [m:str]
paint [pent] ,
pay [pe]
hesitate [heztet]
easy way [i:zwe]
earn [:n]
pound [pand] (
)
know [n]
answer [:nsr] ,
only [nl]
wonder [wndr] ,
get off , . ,
afterwards [:ftwdz]

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.
A PAINTER AND HIS FRIEND

One day Mr. Bent received a picture from his


friend who was a painter. Mr. Bent was very pleased
with it as the painter told him that it was the most
wonderful picture he had ever painted. However,
when Mr. Bent wanted to hang it up he could not
decide which the top was and which the bottom was.
So Mr. Bent thought of a plan. He hung the
picture in the dining room and wrote a letter to the
painter in which he said he looked forward to seeing
him in his house for dinner. The painter promised to
come and see him. The next day the painter came to
join Mr. Bent for dinner. There was a large choice of
dishes and wines, and the painter enjoyed the dinner
very much. They started with gin and tonic. When
the painter was eating soup, he looked at the picture
few times. When he was eating roast-beef, he looked
at the picture with surprise. Before he began drinking coffee, he walked up to the picture. The painter
looked at the picture for some time and understood
that the picture was hanging upside down. Why,
my friend, he said, my picture is upside down.
Is it? said Mr. Bent. But why did it take you so
long to find it out? You have painted it.

receive [rsi:v]
be very pleased [pli:zd]
hang up [hp]
decide [dsad]
top bottom [btm]
look forward [lkf:w:d] ,

choice of dishes [tsvdz]


enjoy [n]
roast-beef [rstbi:f] ( )
surprise [spraz]
before [bf:] ,
upside down [psad dan]
find it out ,

A PLAYWRIGHT
A certain playwright is a very slow and meticulous worker. He once promised a producer a new
play, and when a full year went by without any
further word from the playwright, the producer
began to feel a little impatient. Phoning the playwright, he demanded, Wheres the play? I want
to get the cast assembled, start rehearsals
Its coming along, coming along, the playwright assured him. Nevertheless, the producer
wanted something more definite.
Just how far have you got with it? he asked.

certain [s:tn]
playwright [plerat]
slow [sl]
meticulous [mtkjls] ,
producer [prdju:sr] ,
play [ple]
without [wat]
further [f:]
impatient [mpent]
demand [dm:nd] ()
get the cast assembled
rehearsal [rh:sl]
Its coming along
assure []

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ANECDOTES, JOKES AND FAIRY-TALES


Well, the playwright said, you know its to
be in three acts and two intermissions. Ive just
finished the intermissions.

nevertheless [nevles] ;
definite [defnt] ,
intermission [ntmn] ,

THE AMERICAN TOURIST IN ENGLAND


He was an American tourist to London and had
hired a guide to show him the city.
How long did it take you to build it? he asked
his guide as they passed a large hotel building.
Why, about six months.
Six months! exclaimed the American. Why,
it wouldnt take us more than six weeks to put up
a building like that in New-York.
They passed an office building, which was
quite new.
And how long did it take to build that?
About four weeks, answered the guide.
Four weeks! said the American. In NewYork wed build a place like that in four days.
Noithing more was said until they approached
the Houses of Parliament.
Well, *thats not a bad-looking place[1]. How
long did it you take to build it?
Well, you may not believe me, answered
the guide, but that building was not there when I
crossed the bridge last night.

hire [har] ,
guide [gad] ,
approach [prt] ;
believe [bli:v] ;
cross the bridge

1. thats not a bad-looking place

LACONIC
A laconic man is a person of few words. He is
brief in what he has to say.
There used to be a race named the Laconians.
They lived in ancient Greece. Sparta was their capital. They were noted for their courage and concise
speech. To put it in other words their motto was
Actions speak louder than words.

brief [bri:f] ,
race [res] ;
ancient [ennt]
Greece [gri:s]
Sparta [sp:t]
capital [kptl]
be noted for
courage [kr]

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10

Once when an Athenian herald told them If


we come to your city well destroy it completely,
the Laconians did not get frightened. Their answer
was brief and to the point. They answered calmly
If.
Thus, the name Laconia gave birth to the word
laconic

concise [knsas] ;
speech [spi:t] ;
motto [mt] ,
Athenian [i:nn]
herald [herld] ; . ,
destroy [dstr] ,
completely [kmpli:tl]
to the point
calmly [k:ml]


to get frightened
!
: Actions speak louder than words. .

EINSTEIN FOR A DAY


Albert Einstein is one of the worlds most brilliant and respected scientists. He is known for formulating the theory of relativity, which played a
critical role in the development of atomic energy.
Einstein had a fine sense of humour.

Albert Einstein [lbt ensten]


world [w:ld] ,
most [mst]
brilliant [brljnt] ;
respected [rspektd]
scientist [santst]
formulate [f:mjlet] ,
theory of relativity [r v reltvt]
played [pled]
critical role [krtkl rol]
development [dvelpmnt]
atomic [tmk]
energy [en:]
fine [fan]
sense [sens]
humour [hju:m]

Theres an amusing story about how Einstein


was traveling to universities in a chauffeured car,
giving lectures on relativity. One day the chauffeur
said, Dr. Einstein, Ive heard this lecture about 30
times. I know it by heart, and I bet I could give it
myself.

amusing [mju:z] ,
story [st:r] ,
university [ju:nv:st] (.. universities)
chauffeur [f]
giving lectures [lektz]
by heart [bah:t]
I bet [bet] ,

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ANECDOTES, JOKES AND FAIRY-TALES

11

Well, Ill give you the chance, said Einstein.


They wont recognize me at the school. When we
get there I shall put on your cap, and you introduce
yourself as me and give the lecture.

chance [t:ns] ,
recognize [rekgnaz] ,
cap [kp]
introduce [ntrdju:s]

The chauffeur gave Einsteins lecture without


a single mistake. When he finished, he started to
leave, but one of the professors stopped him to
ask a complex question. The chauffeur thought
fast. That problem is so simple, he said, Its a
surprise that youre asking. In fact, to show you
how simple it is, Im going to ask my chauffeur to
come up here and answer your question.

finish [fn]
started to leave
professor [prfes] ,
stop [stop] .
complex [kmpleks]
question [kwestn]
think [k] (thought [:t]) fast
simple [smpl]
Its a surprise [spraz] ,
Im going to ask


:
______________________________________________________
_________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
.
1. What is Einstein known for in the world?
2. Was Einstein traveling to universities giving lectures on economy?
3. Did he travel by train?
4. Was Einsteins chauffeur a clever person?

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...................................................................................................................................... 3
Anecdotes, Jokes and Fairy-Tales. , ................................................. 5
She was a star pupil ....................................................................................................................... 5
He shot them all ............................................................................................................................. 5
A miser pays twice ......................................................................................................................... 5
A tramp and a farmer ..................................................................................................................... 6
A painter and a banker ................................................................................................................... 6
Joseph Turner and his doctor ......................................................................................................... 7
A painter and an old country man .................................................................................................. 7
A painter and his friend.................................................................................................................. 8
A playwright .................................................................................................................................. 8
The American tourist in England ................................................................................................... 9
Laconic........................................................................................................................................... 9
Einstein for a day ......................................................................................................................... 10
No Parking ................................................................................................................................... 12
The Three Wishes ........................................................................................................................ 14
A Narcissus (Ancient myth).......................................................................................................... 17
How Different Languages Have Appeared On Earth .................................................................. 19
Short Stories. ............................................................................................... 21
Home............................................................................................................................................ 21
The Luncheon .............................................................................................................................. 24
Running for the Train................................................................................................................... 28
A Victim to One Hundred and Seven Fatal Maladies .................................................................. 30
Uncle Theophilus ......................................................................................................................... 33
The Sandglass .............................................................................................................................. 36
A Freshmans Experience ............................................................................................................ 40
The Ransom of Red Chief ........................................................................................................... 43
How We Kept Mothers Day ....................................................................................................... 48
The Errors of Santa Claus ............................................................................................................ 53
Manners ....................................................................................................................................... 57
How to Be an Alien...................................................................................................................... 59
A Few Historical Facts. .................................................................................. 69
Ancient Wonders of the World..................................................................................................... 69
Crusades: Links with the Past ...................................................................................................... 73
From the History of Britain ......................................................................................................... 76
Australias Unique History .......................................................................................................... 78
Agatha Christie ............................................................................................................................ 80

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Noah Webster ............................................................................................................................... 82


Albert Einstein ............................................................................................................................. 84
Some More Information about English-Speaking World.
....................................................... 86
The Future of English .................................................................................................................. 86
An Englishmans Meals ............................................................................................................... 89
English Cookery and Meals ......................................................................................................... 92
English Weather ........................................................................................................................... 95
Suffering From a Lack of Belief .................................................................................................. 97
Global Plan to Protect Film Culture ............................................................................................ 99
The Value of American Domination .......................................................................................... 101
The Scream Is Auctioned for a Record $119.9 Million........................................................... 103
Sightseeings. ...................................................................... 107
London Transport....................................................................................................................... 107
London: Places of Interest ......................................................................................................... 110
The Houses of Parliament .......................................................................................................... 114
New-York: the Beginnings ........................................................................................................ 116
Sightseeings of New York.......................................................................................................... 119
The Statue of Liberty at Home in Paris ..................................................................................... 123
Washington, D.C. ....................................................................................................................... 127
Lincoln Memorial ...................................................................................................................... 130
The USA in the 50s: Houses ..................................................................................................... 132
About Russia.................................................................................................................................. 135
The Moscow Kremlin ................................................................................................................ 135
Amur Leopard Adoption Launched ........................................................................................... 138
Sport ........................................................................................................................................... 140
The Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Game..................................................................................... 142
International Volunteer Day ....................................................................................................... 146
...................................................................................... 149

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20.01.2015.
13.03.2015.
84108/16. .
3500 . .


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