Gregory Hernandez

English 120
March 24, 2015
MWA 1 Traditional Revision Reflection
I have chosen to do my traditional revision on MWA 1. Although I managed to get
a good score on this assignment, I believe that I made a few mistakes that could have
made my essay even better than what it was. The very small mistakes that I made were
grammar errors. In this revision I focused mainly on the comments that were made on my
final draft. With the guidance of the comments, I believe that I was able to make a better
essay than what I turned in.
For the small errors, the grammar, I just went back and fixed them. For example,
at the very beginning of my essay I used the word know instead of known.
Personally I am disappointed in myself for this type of error very early on in the essay.
Whenever I see grammar errors in any type of writing, especially early on, I tend to
discredit all of the credibility that the author has. So if I were to read my own paper
without knowing that I had written it, I wouldnt take it seriously due to that very minor
error. Although my grammar errors werent very big, I believe that fixing them will make
my essay better because they make me, as the author, seem more professional, especially
due to the fact that all of my grammar errors were at the beginning of my essay.
The next part of my essay that I fixed was in my description of logos. The
comment that was left to me stated In terms of logos, also think about cause/effect. The
ad claims that if you do Y, X will happen. I used this comment in order to improve my
description of logos. Before, I had only stated qualities of the ad that provided logos. In

the revision, I added a short description of cause/effect that the qualities gave. In the ad,
the description was basically claiming that if a student were to get into the college, then
he would have the opportunity to become an astronaut, or at least work with NASA. I
added this to my essay using the format that was suggested to me in the comment.
The last thing that I focused on in my revision was my conclusion. Personally I
have never been able to write very good conclusions. I tend to always make them short
and to the point. This might be due to the fact that I just want to finish the paper and
move on to whatever I have planned next. Another reason why I write short conclusions
is because I feel as if I have nothing else to say, the essay is over and everything I had to
say has been said already. In my attempt to make a better conclusion, I basically restated
what I had said throughout the whole essay, only in shorter words. I believe that one last
restatement of what the essay said helped restate the point that I was trying to make.
Thus, I believe that the revision of my MWA1 made my essay stronger. The
grammar fixes made it look more professional, the added sentence to my logos paragraph
described the use of logos within the essay, and the revised conclusion restated what my
entire essay was about. Overall, I believe my MWA 1 is better than what it used to be.