Michael Tran

April 30, 2015

Ms. Diaz
ENGL 120-060
Adapting to Every Situation

Genre revisions are used to recreate documents in different forms to address different
audiences. With a genre revision you can change an analysis paper to an infographic or anything
you want. For my creative revision, I recreated my MWA 2, which was originally a position
paper, into a free-verse poem. Originally, MWA 2, as a position paper, was a very factual and
informative document, but it didnt promote or bring exposure to the topic. I wanted to recreate
this document in order to increase my audience population to bring more exposure to my topic
and what can be done about it.
My first draft of MWA 2 was about my stance on the minimum legal drinking age
(MLDA) in the United States. The rhetorical situation and goal for MWA 2 was to write a
position paper as a writing sample for a non-profit organization (NPO). I discussed the topic in a
standard position paper format with claims and rebuttals to the oppositions. I argued that the
minimum legal drinking age in the U.S. should be maintained at age 21, rather than lowering it,
because of the harmful effects of alcohol and its potential for abuse. Being a first year college
student, I had new experiences with people around alcohol and felt that I could discuss the topic
easily. However, this was not the case. MWA 2 was the first real research paper I had ever done.
I had to research studies, educate myself on drinking laws around the nation, and find common
arguments within the topic. This assignment was where I progressed most in the SLO G. After
educating myself on the topic, I was able to discuss my position and be able to defend it with
rebuttals to the opposing arguments. Learning about the dangerous effects of alcohol I decided
that I wanted to reach a larger audience to educate them also.

For my creative revision I decided to reach out to a larger general population. After
researching about alcohol's negative effects and its roles in other countries, I wanted to debunk
some of the common notions many people have about it. My purpose was to educate people
about the MLDA, its history, and why it shouldnt change. A position paper for a NPO doesnt
reach a very large audience and isnt very exciting for people to read. That is why I decided to
change the position paper into a poem. With a poem I am able to put the information in a briefer
and easier to read format that will attract more people. By using a poem, the information and
arguments are less likely to step on anyones toes. The position paper was straight forward and
basically told people, that what they knew about alcohol was wrong. The poem is more lighthearted and more likely to keep someone interested than the position paper. However, with an
abridged document there is less ethos of direct and credible information. To counter this I
emphasized the other rhetorical appeals, logos and pathos, to make up for it.
The primary rhetorical appeal that I used in my creative revision was logos. Logos was
most effective because of my topic. I used logic in a cause and effect manner to display the
effects of alcohol. I believe the last fives lines of the first stanza best represent the logos within
the poem.
So why give this to younger populations
When it would only hinder their maturation
Decreased academic performance and
Increased failures it would yield
Permanent mistakes that cant be healed
These five lines discuss how giving alcohol to a younger population would impede their
academic performance. They lines also represent my replacement of ethos. In the position
paper, I was able to discuss more about how it hindered academic performance and cite the study
that the information came from.

The next strongest rhetorical appeal I used was pathos. The dangerous things that result
from the effects alcohol can affect anybody. I used pathos to emotionally engage the audience
and enhance the logos. The last stanza in the poem expresses pride as an emotion and how
alcohol shouldnt ruin that pride.
Our generation is one of admiration
It shouldnt be the one to harm our great nation
So be contrite with your rights
And dont let alcohol become a parasite
We are born in the land of the brave
So dont be knave and waive your life
By taking a drink and going for a drive
Keep the MLDA and stay true to our
American ways
Drinking and driving accidents affect many families and those families can relate to this stanza
very well. I tried to evoke the emotions of the readers so that instead of just reading something
and disregarding it, they can relate with it and try to do something about it.
Ethos was the least used rhetorical appeal in my revision. I tried to focus more on
attracting a larger population and emotionally impacting them rather than boosting the credibility
of the document. There are many ad campaigns out there conveying the message with studies on
how alcohol is bad. For the poem I tried to evoke some emotions from the audience rather than
bombard them with facts and studies. I did include some ethos as a method to boost my pathos,
but overall ethos was the least needed appeal in this genre revision.
The genre revision allowed me to strengthen my message and increase my audience
population. However, this revision took away a lot of the facts and studies I used in my position
paper. The goal of the revision was to convey my message of maintaining the MLDA across a
larger audience. The genre change helped me achieve that goal as well as the shift in rhetorical
appeals. Overall, I believe the free-verse poem is more effective in addressing my problem and
argument than a position paper would.