Вы находитесь на странице: 1из 32

imaginary sister

color purple
By Yuliya Goss

Comment [Y1]: I thought that the Traveler

sounds too much like Divergent, which is not that
much of a big deal but I think this header is specific,
yet ambiguous enough.

Only one day is left until the Picking Ceremony tomorrow. I just turned
sixteen, so it is my turn to pick a cast. You can be whatever you want, the Elders

Comment [CG2]: Content: young main character

like in Divergent & The Hunger Games

and the Center tell us. No, we cannot be whatever we want. We are bound by our
backgrounds, heritage, beliefs, parents, society, resources and these walls. There
are expectations that this society places on us.
Ada, is your dress ready? I hear my mom from downstairs.
Pants, mom, pants and a tunic, I reply, looking at the outfit that I
prepared for myself. It is a china blue hemp tunic with flowers and laves
embroidered on it, intertwined with Craftsmens tools. The pants are skinny and
slightly stretchy, sand-colored.
Ada-a-a, you got your shoes? mom yells again.

Comment [CG3]: Organization: dialogue.

Also, the character is introduced while being in
regular, familiar to her setting.

Yes mo-o-om. They are somewhere here.

Comment [CG4]: Style: believable speech to

show that they are yelling back and forth

Make sure they are nice and clean!

Yes, mother, I say on the way back to my room. It is a nice little room Lim
and I used to share. It was my little realm where I brought nice stones or pieces of
glass, where I had pain, tools, thread, some skins, beads and brushes. There was
my bed by the window.
When I walked in to the room, my jaw almost dropped as I saw a huge
black raven, stoutly sitting on my windowsill; one of those whose feathers around
the neck and head become looking more like fur. His jet eyes looked right through
me. I wanted to touch these black feathers that gleamed with dark-emerald and

blue. As I stretched out my hand towards him, he turned away and offered his
foot to me, revealing a small parcel strapped to it. I untied the parcel and saw that
he was still not looking at me; rather his eyes greedily looked at a bowl of pairs on
the table. For some reason I told him to wait, as if hed understand, and went
toward the table. I love pairs. I bit off a piece and offered it to the raven. He
gobbled it down and gave me a craaaw in gratitude, I suppose.
What the raven brought to me was a wooden locket of sandal wood very rare
around this area. The contents baffle me. Consumed by thought, I decide to
change to see how I look. Everything fits. But I am pale, and my dark eyes add to
it; and my thighs are a bit too thick for my taste, and my arms are not as slender
as Id like them to be. I should work out and get healthy. My pungent dark-blue
hair is sticking out in all directions. At least, I know what to expect from tomorrow
in terms of my look. I shut my closet, say goodnight to mom and dad, and get in

Comment [CG5]: Content: short description of

the main character. As a teenager, she is not very
happy with her look

I know what I want. I want to see the world. I do not want to be confined to
one place. I know what I want. And mom and dad they will understand my
choice. They know that my heart was always set on the Travelers for a long time
now. The raven and the locket are not letting me sleep. One sheep, two sheep,
three sheep, four sheep

Comment [CG6]: Content: Decisive teenager,

like Catniss

I do not look rested. I do not feel rested. Last night I counted about 120
sheep before I fell asleep. Mom holds my hand as we join a large crowd of people.
I cannot figure out who that locket was from... It is beautiful out today sunny
and breezy; and the air smells a little salty... That purple strand of hair in it and a
note do not give me peace. Look deep down into your memory. Be weary of
trust Ada. Make a choice that is yours only, and do not be scared, it said... I see

Comment [CG7]: Style: train of consciousness. I

wanted to show her thoughts and how confused
they are.

only young people of my age with their families.... How would this person know
that I am a little scared?.. I see the Travelers in different shades of green, the
Craftsmen in beige and light-blue, the Scholars, strolling stately, in maroon and
dark indigo, the Farmers in orange and yellow, and the Warriors in black and grey.
Will I look good in green? They are moving slowly through the main doors, taking
seats in a large auditorium.
The auditorium is a pentagon, each wall of which is painted according to
colors of casts: green, beige, indigo, yellow, and gray. We are seated in a circle,
cast by cast. I am sitting between my parents, holding hands with both of them. I
know what I want. I know what my path is. Still I am pondering.
Are you alright Ada? Scared a little? asks mom, as if noticing something
on my face.
I just didnt sleep well
I couldnt sleep well either on my Picking Day. Just make your choice.

Comment [CG8]: Content: members of each

cast look different color-wise. Similar to Divergent
where factions look different from one another.

Here it is again about choices. This whole morning Ive been trying to recall my
dream. There was purple. There was Lim in it. We were little. We were little
because I just got my toy horse. It was in the dream. I was four when I got it
The Elders come out. They each give a small speech but II miss all that,
consumed by my anxiety. Next second I feel my moms hand squeeze mine; then
my dads. I know that they will understand my choice I was four in that dream. A
girl older than me, with purple hair. She just unrolled it and it shone purple. All of
it. Thats it! Twelve years ago Lim showed me her purple gorgeous hair. The next
morning she was gone. That was not a dream
Yamaken Dao. The sound of this name distracts me for a moment. I see a
tall boy in green walk towards the goblets. His hair is gray, his back is straight. He
looks like an elf. What choice he makes, I do not know, distracted by my own
This whole time Ive been asking them about Lim, and they never said a
word. They were always so kind to me; we trusted each other. But what of they
lied this whole time? Not possible. They are my parents. They love me and I love

Comment [Y9]: Content: possibility of betrayal

by family members like in 1984

them very much. I was four. They say I had an imaginary friend Lim. But in my
memory, it was Lim and I, loved by our parents. What is going on? I feel tears
creeping up my eyes.
Ada Nordinsen, I hear my name ring, bouncing off the walls. That is my
name the name my parents gave me. Slowly they let go off my hands. I turn and
give them a hug. Step. Another step. I pick up a green marble and feel tingling in
my palm. As I open it, I see a small brand remaining. My choice has never been
more obvious. I want to find Lim. If I am the Traveler, I can find her. I cannot

Comment [Y10]: I want to change the process

of initiation or Branding. Not sure if Im happy
with this. I didnt like that my previous way was too
similar to Veronica Roths Divergent

believe her timing The scar slowly starts turning white. It is interesting how they
can cause a local allergic reaction and brand you. It is a painless way to leave
something so permanent on the skin. Ive made my choice as the Traveler. I will
become the Traveler.
My parents and I know that the choice Ive made will change our lives as we
knew it. We will not be seeing each other as much for I will have to join the
Travelers community. I will be seeing them. Ill visit whenever I get a chance. Dad
lays his hand on my shoulder.
I guess I should have taught you some of what I know. Now youll be
learning on your own. Im sorry about that baby-girl. His voice is gentle and
slightly apologetic. I believe him. I am about to ask him about Lim. Wrong.
Dont worry about it dad, I say instead, Ill be visiting often, so I can learn
from you.
Just dont forget us sweetie, says mom.
I want to cry at such words. She is so kind. They both are. How would I react if my
child were to make such a choice? How would I feel, I wonder? But one thought is
the loudest among them all: Do mom and dad really know what happened to Lim?
I dont get a chance to ponder upon this thought. I have to pack up my
things. Tomorrow morning my parents will take me to the meeting place, and off I
go. Tomorrow evening they will be having dinner by themselves and I Who
knows who Ill be having dinner with?

Time has been rushing somewhere very fast. Soon after my arrival to the
camp, I had to unpack my small possessions and meet my roommate. Her name is
Phioni, and she is, what they call it, stunning: her poppy-red hair, long and
straight, barely reaches her shoulder blades. Despite her very bright beauty, she
creeps me out. There is something in the way she looks at me; something I cannot
yet describe. Maybe it is simply because we just met. She has a body of a Warrior:
well-trained legs and arms, flat stomach. Her nose, I can tell, has been broken or
just dislocated it is a little offset. Her green eyes are in great contrast with her
hair and eyebrows. It gives Phioni a snake-like countenance. I wonder what she
would do if she were to hear my thoughts
So where do you come from Ada? Phioni asks casually.
I am from the Craftsmen. What about you?
Mmmthe Warriors. My parents both are, so as their parents.
Then why to become a Traveler?
Mmmperhaps because I want to see places, she says and never asks
me for my reasoning. Maybe she figured that I will have the answer of the same
Thus, this awkward conversation ends. I am lying in bed silently, not moving. I am
thinking of my family and of Lim and of whether she was my family. One sheep,
two sheep, three sheep

Comment [Y11]: Organization: potentially a

rival for Ada

I do not have much time to write. My thoughts have
been very busy with everything I have to learn and
everything I have to ponder. Every night is the same
routine I count sheep. I have a hard time sleeping
here. The room is small and clean. Yet my sleep is
disturbed. In my sleep I think about the choice that
Ive made It is foggy outside today. Autumn will be
coming soon. There is yet another day of learning
trade, geography and martial arts. Breakfast is at
seven in the morning. Then classes continue from 8:30
to 16:00. Then there is homework and free time. I try
to visit my parents as often as possible, but it ends
up being only once or twice a week.

Comment [CG12]: Organization: Adas journal is

in different font. Two types of narration, like in 1984

We met and were able to talk for the first time at the library while studying for
geography and cartography. There was not much studying for me going on at first
I am and have always been a procrastinator. I was looking through old atlases
when the boy with lead-gray hair approached me. There was no one close by. I
could hear him breathe in and out, slowly and steadily. He was looking for
something. I was trying to get another book from the shelf that was way above
me. He, without looking at me, pulled it out and handed it to me.
Is it what you were looking for? he asked me in quiet tone. His voice was
soothing and a little cracking.
Yes, thank you very much, I said to him and stole a glance. His face looked
calm, yet searching.
He, perhaps feeling the weight of my covert stare, looked at me. As I saw his lightgray eyes, I quickly looked away. My cheeks felt warm.
Are you done with this one? He pointed at the atlas I was holding. His
hands are slender but dry and cracked.
Ohyes, you can have it, and I handed the atlas to him. You know, I
continued, Your hands will be in a much better condition if you use ointment.
These cracks must hurt.
He was silent, looking at the book.
Here, try this, I said to him and offered some ointment in a glass jar.

Comment [CG13]: Content: Just like Tris gets

awkward around Four, so as Ada around Yamaken
when they do not know each other well.

He dipped his thin fingers in it, having the book pressed between his ribs and arm,
and rubbed the ointment in.
Thank you. I honestly gave up on trying to heal them, the boy said with a
Take it then. I have another one. I promise, it should help. My father uses
it when he travels, and I again offered a little jar to him.
Are you sure its ok? I dont want to take your things.
I am sure. I hope your hands feel better soon.
Ill return the favor, says the boy, chuckling again. I am Yamaken by the
way. What is your name?
Ada. My name is Ada. And its nice to meet you.
My pleasure too, Yamaken said with a quick smile. I feel like Ive seen
you before.
And at that moment it hit me of course he has seen me before, just like I have
seen him!

Comment [CG14]: Organization: mini-turn


We met in an unusual sort of way. About five years
ago, my dad would be frequently seen buying things from
one particular Traveler. This man must have lived on a
different reservation because neither his dress, nor
manner of speech suggested that he was from around
here. He was usually accompanied by a little boy his
son I always assumed. I was eleven back then. I noticed
the boy with light gray hair would always stand quietly
next to his father, always well-behaved. His gaze was
open; it was searching.
We would see each other like this, from the distance,
every couple months. I never had courage to run up to
him and call him to play games. It was something that
the Elders discouraged us from doing getting to know
people from other reservations. The segregation from
the rest of the world was something we shouldnt be
complaining about. If we are locked up like this, we
are safe that was the idea promoted by the Center and
the Elders. Our reservation is where we belong. It is
safe within the walls, we are told. But what if those
walls are a little too tight?..

Welcome to the Travelers gang. I am Orach. Not Orange but Orach, your
instructor. The head of this camp is Jaan Pulkov. He will be teaching you trade and
martial arts. I will be teaching you geography, navigation and cartography. There
are areas beyond the wall where you do not want to go. For instance, poisonous
swamps will suck you in and burn your skin; if not that, then there is a chance for
you to fall in the canyon or drown. That is exactly why you will be studying your
asses off gang. When you travel, you have a lot of stuff that you do not want to
lose due to the elements. Pulkov will teach you how to defend your stuff, yourself
and your partner when shit hits the fan. Questions?!
Everyone was silent following this address, intimidated.
What are we to defend ourselves from? is a question you should ask,
thundered a voice from behind.
Uh! Jaan Pulkov ladies and gentlemen, said Orach.
To be a good team, you have to trust your partner. You will pick your
partner for a trip. It is to be your first trip outside the walls, so I want you to
double- or triple-up. No single Traveler will leave. Orach will fill you in. And
remember, trust is vital. Trust in that your partner has got your back.
With these words Jaan did a 180 and left the hall. There was something in the air
that I couldnt describe. Perhaps, anticipation? I looked at Yamaken who stood a
little apart from me. He caught my glance and winked at me. I just found my
partner, I believe.

Comment [Y15]: Content: trustworthy adults

like in the Hunger Games. Thinking about adding
Effie-like character.

The library became our constant meeting place. There we recalled how we
met. He remembered that when I was little, Id always hide behind my dad and
look at him. Then he confessed that he stared at me too.
I thought that your hair was amazing. It was much lighter when you were
little Ada, he noted. Your eyes remained the same though. They just got depth
of age and he gave me a deep silent look.
When our eyes met, his silvery-grey and mine dark and bluish, I felt as if an
invisible line connected us. Did I just right at this moment fall for Yamaken? Or
was it a long time ago when we were kids; when it was on a different level, the
level of human towards human interest? Was I attracted by his calm silvery
gaze and a sound of his voice; his personality that I am yet to explore? Now it is
more irresistible the power of attraction. What am I supposed to do?..
Not too many people went here, so Yamaken and I could study and talk.
Sometimes, when we knew for sure that no one was here, he would help me
practice my self-defense and offence skills.
Bend your knees; you must feel bouncy, he said one time. If your feet
are not shoulder-width apart, it will be harder for you to keep the balance, and
as he said that, he pushed me to prove the point.
He did prove it I wasnt able to keep my balance, but Yamaken held on to me to
make sure I dont fall.

Comment [Y16]: Content: coming of age

Keep one of your fists, the one that is farther away, close to your lower
jaw; other close to the center of your face. This way you can block and attack,
was the next set of suggestions. And relax your knees Ada!
There was no way for me to be relaxed with him, although professionally,
grabbing me by my waist or elbow; I cannot be relaxed when once in a while my
cheek will brush against his chest or shirt. Instead, I just quietly do what he tells
me to. I want to be able to protect myself and what belongs to me. Feet apart,
bouncy knees, elbows and fists in place; block, grab, now flip him over.
A-haaaa! Got you! I yelled out with a laugh, looking at Yamaken stretched
out on the floor. I was able to block his attack and flip him over without injuring
him, as I thought. He didnt get up.
Hey, Yamaken, are you alright? Did you get hurt? Yamaken?
No reply. I bent down to take a closer look. Next second I realized that I was about
to be tricked by the naughty smile but it was too late Yamaken was on top of
me, wearing a gorgeous I win smile.

Comment [Y17]: Content: romance. Students I

surveyed would like to see some romance in the
story. Ill speculate and say that it was about 90%
who circled romance as a feature

Ada! Ada, come out! I hear a slightly coarse voice that mixes up with the
sound of crickets.
Ada! I hear again, as little rocks fly into my window, one of them
managing to hit my mirror with a click.
Hey, whats up? I say very quietly, sticking out my head out the window,
adjusting my eyes to the darkness, looking for the speaker.
Well, I thought we are going out tonight, you know its Saturday, says
he with a bit of saltiness in his voice.
Give me like two minutes, I reply and disappear.
Hurry up!
Dont tell me what to do! I giggle as I hear laughter in his voice.
Two minutes later I am out of my room, dressed in my green hemp shirt, a pair of
brown skinny pants, moccasins. I stop and look at a tall boy of my age, dressed in
dark green skinny pants, similar to mine but a bit looser, brown shoes, and a
green sweater, with a bag across his chest.
You look green Yamaken, I say with a snort.
He is a born Traveler; I am a joined Traveler. We are both sixteen, and he is
dressed in green, more than me; so what else am I supposed to say? I chuckle and
start walking. He follows.

Shut up Ada and tell me whats up with all this color, says he with
sarcasm and noticeable laughter in his voice.
Thats what I thought
We are walking quietly towards the city wall. We should not be seen like
this, otherwise we will get in trouble. Yamaken and I have been friends for a few
months but we get attacked by awkward silence once in a while. Maybe it is
because we used to not talk as much.
How is your book going?
Mmm it is going but Im having a crisis, I say in reply.
Ive been trying to write on my free time about the world Yamaken and I are
brought up in. I like to compare things. So when I read about how life used to be, I
thought, why not write about my time and have some record of it?
Can I see it sometime? He asks, and I can tell he is interested in what I
Yeah, lets wait until we reached the destination, I say quietly.
We keep walking in silence. It feels like a date but it does not feel like a date. I
wonder what he thinks of. As we reach the wall, Yamaken gets down on his knees
and climbs under it. I follow. My shirt and pants will be dirty, I think to myself.
At least everyone in town is asleep. I see a hand with long fingers stretched out of
the hole, luring me on the other side. A few seconds later Yamaken is helping me
up. He is so much taller than me. In the moonlight he looks like a magical creature

with his lead-colored hair that reaches his shoulders; it is smooth and silky my
envy. Just a few months ago Ive been slightly captivated by him at the Picking
Ceremony. The farther time goes, the more he captivates me. For some reason he
is looking at me funny; his eyes, as grey as his hair, squinting. I realize that I stared
too long, still holding on to his forearm. I let go off of him and wipe my clammy
palms on my pants, feeling awkward for some reason.
Sooodo you want to read it? I ask after good three minutes of silent
staring around us.
Id love to. Hit me, Yamaken says and gets out his flashlight.
I hand him some completed pages. We get comfortable behind the bushes, sitting
on a blanket that Yamaken was magically able to pull out of his bag. The bushes
and trees hide us very well. The light cannot be seen. Thus, Yamaken starts


The world has changed. Although it changes every

day, the world I ended up living in, became completely
different from one would expect: there was no supertechnology, no spaceships flying back and forth,
colonizing Mars. The Internet crashed. It disappeared.
Different parts of the world lost communication that
used to be possible. The world has changed. Its been a
while. I was born long after everything, in a way,
ended. I didnt have to make a transition like others
did, so consider me lucky. Yet I know about the past:
there were planes, the Internet and online shopping,
smartphones, various tablets, cars and planes circling
around the world, spacecrafts exploring the Universe.
Many things were online: schools and universities,
dating, music at your fingertips (Ive seen this
being used in the newspaper from 2013) and movies on

Just few hundred years ago I would be able to

hop on a plane and go around the world.

Internet disappeared. The reasons were clear: too
much hatred, misunderstanding and danger was
concentrated there. Kids were bullying each other. The
world became scared of terroristic propaganda, porn all
over, gossip and stupid stuff. So the Internet crashed.
Concerned leaders of the world called out to every

Comment [CG18]: Style: like in 1984, Ada will

be describing her world in private writing.

country that was able to hear. Symposium was held in

Australia, and the majority of the leaders voted for
death to the Internet. People of all ages were asked
about how they felt if the Internet were to come to an
end. Surprisingly it seemed like nobody minded. Of
course there were eager protectors, however even they
decided that the battle for net neutrality was being
lost. Major companies tried to take control of the
Internet in order to make people pay more and more. So
Internet was gone, I guess, for good. People became
interested in the world around them. To think about it,
people became more self-reliant, yet also reliant upon
each other.
Electricity is used heavily in the area. Very few
cars that we have run on electricity and are a property
of the city. They are

used mostly by the Scholars and

Travelers. Mostly we rely on animal power: horses,

bulls and donkeys. They are raised by the Farmers.
After the great illness that took over the world,
the remaining people in this city had to start over to
create a safe haven. It is said that the illness that
killed so many people, could have been cured but
because of politics, people have been searching all in
vain for something that was safely kept away from
them... People who live here come from different places
around the world and they try to remember their

heritage. Here you will hear names that you have never
heard before, and these names come from different
cultures and time periods; here you will hear different
dialect and smell different food. There are people from
the North and South, East and West.
The time we live in is told to be the time of
uncertainty, a sort of Perestroika when the USSR
started to separate (Masha, my friends with Russian
roots, told me that it in fact happened long time ago).
People had to change their ways of living and thinking.
Readjusting and starting over is always very hard.
Thus, five casts were established: Warriors, Travelers,
Scholars, Craftsmen, and Farmers. Each of them makes
our society work, or so it seems. The sense of
community is something Elders talk about all the time.
They say that we are interdependent. We depend on the
Center like the Center depends on us. This kind of
interdependence is meant to be empowering.
The Warriors train from a very young age to become
members of militia and border patrol. None of us are
allowed to go beyond the borders of the city, so no one
really knows whats out there, except the Travelers and
some of the Warriors. Of course, a little few can
probably find a way to sneak out because borders are
not electrified or covered with barbed wire it would
be too grim. We are told that borders serve to protect

Comment [CG19]: Content: clustering of society

that is seen in Divergent, 1984 , the Hunger Games

us but not intimidate. The Warriors are armed with

bows, spears, swords and knives. Some have guns that
were left from the old world, some the ones that were
recently made, but guns are the last reserve. Warriors
lead very Spartan (check out Sparta at the library)
kind of living strict and modest. They do not drink
alcohol or fool around. They do not look grim but there
is certain air of danger and calm around them. They are
dressed in dark clothes, usually black, wearing leather
jackets, boots, gloves and armor.
Farmers know a lot about nature around them. They
hunt and raise animals in order to keep the balance in
the area. They provide us with skins and animal power.
They are very lenient and kind. No living creature
should die for no reason. For every pig or cow that
they butcher they thank Mother Nature. They also grow
food for the animals and us, people, grow and cut
trees. It is good to be friends with Farmers because
they will tell you where to get the best greens for
Scholars are doctors, teachers, scientists, and
engineers. They are also very important to us. They
will cure you, teach you to read, write, do math; they
will create medicine for us and come up with nifty
gadgets to make our life a little easier. It is said
that sometimes they are too proud, but pride is not a

Comment [CG20]: Style: casual language like in


good value here, so they control themselves. It is

their responsibility to share knowledge.
Travelers and Craftsmen work closely together.
After all they sell what we, Craftsmen, make.
However, selling is not the best noun. We do not have
money; instead we barter, and Travelers help it happen.
They are considered the dangerous folk because they
have to know a lot and be strong enough to leave the
city. You do not want to mess with Travelers. As I
mentioned, they go beyond the walls and go to other
areas to barter to bring us back what we need. We
Craftsmen make things: build houses, make clothes,
paint, and make dishes and tools. We also make life
more pretty: jewelry and artwork are of our making as
Perhaps, its time to introduce myself. My name is
Ada Nordinsen. I am sixteen. Belong to the Craftsmen.
There is not much to know about me: I make things. I
can bind books pretty well. Hopefully, this for now
small pile of papers will become a book
Lets consider it a preface. I am Ada.
Yamaken flipped the last page to make sure he hasnt missed anything.

Comment [Y21]: Organization: short paragraphs

like in the H.G. & Divergent

Pretty good Ada. Here, greens for recreation, and he laughs, handing me
a glass pipe. I take a hit and pass it back, coughing, trying to not make much noise.
Now I am a little stuck. There is a decent amount to write about: history,
resources, people, Elders, the Indigo
Elders can burn in hell and you better make sure that if you do write about
them, you write the truth, Yamaken mumbles but clearly enough for me to hear.
I hope you say that only around people you trust Yamaken. We cannot say
whatever we want. Even this writing is a secret. I feel a cloud of uneasiness
spreading above us.
Yamaken suddenly looked deep in thought. Or so it seemed to me. His gray
eyes glimmering in the moonlight, looking somewhere only he knows, his body
comfortably rested on his elbows. Graceful, attractive. Is he even a human?
By the way, Ada, what do you know about the Indigo? You are the only
person Ive heard talk of them. I caught a sharp glance directed towards me.
Yamakens eyes, naturally light, looked like sharp ice now, lit by the moon. He
looked scary. Maybe it is the grass making me weary but I dont want to hold this
conversation at this moment.
Thats the thing Yamaken I dont know much, and I am curious. Lets talk
about it later, I say lazily, stretching, enjoying being outside the city walls. I feel
peaceful, puffing on pungent buds, looking at the starts in a company of a
handsome guy.
Have you ever been in love Ada?

I didnt notice him get so close to me. A moment ago he sat within arms
reach, and now I can feel the heat produced by his body reach my skin. I turn to
look him in the eyes.
Love no. I had attractions, I say quietly laughing. Thank the universe, he
cannot see how red my cheeks are! What about you? Since we are on this

Comment [Y22]: Content: relatable character


No but I think I might be falling, he whispers in my ear; his breath superwarm on my already hot ear; his hair, brushing against my bare collarbone, - soft,
silky and heavy, like horses mane. I cannot be a chicken. I must face him. And so I
Are you sure? Because you are high right now, I whisper back in his ear
and waiting for his reaction. He teased me first.
Oh yeah, I know, and so it is a paradox you make me deal with. His fingers
are playing with my hair, touching lightly my neck, as if accidentally. I suddenly
remember that cold piercing glance, and it throws me off. I dont understand how
it can be replaced by soft and calm, and how both could be directed at me. Im
enjoying the moment now, so Ill let it go.

Comment [Y23]: Style: dialogue + play on words

1. Adas introduction. She is 16. She wants to travel. The laws do not allow her
to travel because she is not in a suitable cast. Thus, she spends free time
reading, looking trough films that she could obtain at the archives that are
open for public, especially students.
2. Yamaken is a traveler. Ada feels drawn towards him but she isnt sure if
there is chemistry between them. She dreams of going places without being
restricted. She does not want to be confined to one spot. Yamaken has all
that Ada doesnt, and he can offer it to her.
3. Every year there is a picking ceremony. Every 16-year-old has to make a
choice of what cast to transition to. Once in the cast, they have to stick with
it until they get married. Upon marriage, people could pick either cast of
their origin.
4. The world: globalized reservations that are ruled by the Center. Each
reservation has its Elders. Elders promote obedience to authority (Center).
People from the reservations are not allowed to roam free otherwise
count and control will be lost. There are fences around reservations. On the
radio and tv people learn about what is happening in other reservations and
watch about affairs of the Center. Propaganda.
a. The Warriors are obedient to the Elders to the greatest extent. People
feel threatened.
5. Clustering of the society: SCHOLARS, TRAVELERS, CRAFTSMEN, WARRIORS,
FARMERS. There are five elders at the head of each reservation. NorthEastern reservation houses about 300 thousand people.

6. At the picking ceremony Ada drops her blood in a goblet that answers to the
Travelers. Her family is fine with her choice. She can still live with them, but
she will be learning to become a Traveler: foundations of barter, martial
arts, chemistry, geography.
7. Lim Nordinsen (Adas sister). Considered to be Adas imaginary friend. She is
not spoken of as if she never existed. Ada tries to ask mom and dad but they
do not say anything, avoiding the conversation.
a. The letter turns out to be from Lim who was banished from the
reservation by the Elders because she was born with full head of
purple hair.. In her dream Ada remembers her 9-year old sister
waking her up in the middle of the night and unraveling a full head of
purple hair.
b. Next morning she was gone. Adas parents, upon every time Ada
mentioned the name Lim, told her that she never had a sister named
8. To be explained by Ada in her private writing. People are born with different
hair colors which suggest prevalence of certain elements. Some people
explain the colors through 7 Indian chakras that are also connected with
elements. Eventually some people get a purple strand (Crown chakra) when
they reach balance within themselves, attain wisdom. No one has a head
full of purple hair, or so it seems. Some will never have purple in their hair.
Those who are in fact, very rarely, are born with or just attain full head of
purple hair, are called Indigo. They are people with strong and flexible
bodies. The Indigo are believed to be the enlightened ones because they can
read minds. Because they are so rarely born, the Indigo became a legend.

Comment [Y24]: Dr. Sherry, I think this is the

point where I made a decent amount of editions to
the plot. Im still thinking about the plot

Ada eventually recalls some stories her grandmother told her when she was
four years old.
Sahasrara (Crown): Time/Space/Balance/Gravity/Cosmic/Universal/AllElemental
Ajna (Third Eye): Nether/Darkness/Shadow/Death/Poison/Black Magic
Vishuddhi (Throat):
Anahata (Heart): Air/Wind/Magic/Sound/Music
Manipura (Navel): Fire/Heat/Flame
Svadhisthana (Sacral): Water/Ice/Snow/Steam/Fog/Mist
Muladhara (Root): Earth/Rock/Nature/Soil/Metal/Wood

9. Reservations consist of people of many cultures. Names do not sound like

they came from the same source.
10. Ada and Yamaken leave for their first independent trip. They have been
dating for a little. They have to deliver some brass pots and other goods to a
neighboring reservation. On the way they meet Castless who try to rob
them. The two have to fight them, at which time Yamaken becomes
ruthless, which concerns Ada. Free, they discuss what happened and
Yamaken says that he hates those who dont belong. Ada says that she had
no idea that there were Castless roaming about the reservation. She
wonders how one becomes Castless. Yamaken tells her that no one is aware
of the Castless only some Travelers and Warriors, and they are bound not
to say anything under fear of death. The Elders and the Center decide who is
no worthy.

11.They arrive to the Middle North reservation in three days and trade there.
Meet different people. Ada writes in her journal about how glad she is to be
with Yamaken as a partner and how wonderful it is to be able to go beyond
the walls. She also ponders on Yamakens behavior and decides that it
concerned her.
12.On the way back, Yamaken and Ada are caught by the Castless again and,
blindfolded, taken to their lair. The leader of the Castless, Serum, tries to
convince Yamaken and Ada to support their cause and overthrow the
Center. When he says the Indigo at some point, Ada is very interested. She
approaches Serum tet-a-tet and tries to learn from him more.
13.One day, when Yamaken and Ada are back to their reservation, they start
fighting over what Yamaken earlier said about the Castless and how he
hates those who dont belong.



The Hunger



Growing up
Making a hard choice that has no
turning back
Getting over obstacles
Falling in love
Defying authority
Family ties
Belonging is determined by the test


Narrated from
1st person
A lot of dialogue
Short chapters


A lot of verbs

Growing up
Love triangle

Fairly short
1st person
about half page

Not too much
A lot of verbs

Big Brother
Totalitarian regime
Adult world
Attraction between two think-alikes
Betrayal of a family member

3rd person
narration with
journal entries
from 1st person
Long paragraphs
Long chapters

Longer, more
The narrators
speech is
different from

Coming of age in Divergent & Games
Defying despotic authority
Making hard choices
Loss of something important
Nationalism promoted
Division of society
Abuse by the party in power
Protagonist in 1984 gets crushed by
the system

Reader meets
protagonists in their
familiar setting

My ideas

Clustering of society
Teenage characters
Desire to belong and be happy
Making choices
Attachment to family and friends
Light drug use
Desire to see the world

Not very long

(hoping to get
some done)
Narration from
1st person +
journal entries
in different font

Voice is
reflective and

Comment [Y25]: This young man wrote on the

other side of this survey in response to my question
if you were to write a story, what would you write
about? that his story would be written in
dystopian universe genre. He was not the only
person to mention this genre. I noticed that it is
definitely a trend nowadays. Probably because of
Divergent & the Hunger Games.